Dane Cook: Full Of Dog Shit
It looks like it's going to be another dog caca-filled week here on Dlisted. That's pretty appropriate, actually. Anyfeces, a judge in Los Angeles has evicted Dane Cook from his apartment, because he won't pick up after his dog's shitty ass even though his neighbor's filed several complaints.
Dane is appealing the judge's decision and claims that if he leaves that apartment, he will suffer emotional distress and his career will tank. You see, Dane said he only lives there, because John Belushi and Steve Martin used to live in the same building. Dane states in the documents, "I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration."
Umm....Dane's career is headed for the dog shit bin regardless if he lives in that apartment or not.
Dane went on to spew, "In the same way that writers can get writer's block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and 'stories'; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I've seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it's destroyed careers."
If he's allowed to stay, Dane will pay $40,000 to the owner of the apartment building for doggy poop damages.
I see what he's doing here. The judge better see through this bitch's fuckery and charge him with being a grade A asshat. That shit is punishable by life in a prison cell filled with dog diarrhea. Dane probably didn't even write that crap himself.
And I don't blame his dog for having the mega shits. Anybody would get a bad case of the runs from being around Dane that much.
Source: TMZ
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Dane is a one (or maybe two) hit wonder. He did some great routines when he first got noticed, and then that was all he had.
Now he is ugly, unfunny and to top it all off, shitty.
Clea
This story is dogshit.. Dane Cook just bought a new house and moved in. I just heard Bob Kelley talking about it on the Howard Stern show
yeah y'all, why all the Dane Cock hatred?
...oh you think that's a typo?
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
He was said to be found at a millionaire & celebrity dating club "^^^^^^S e e k W e a l t h y. C O M^^ ^^^^" not long before, and he was hot there.Quite a few girls and ladies wrote to him.
Dane Cook should move into a place with Denis Leary and Carlos Mencia, two other plagiarizing no-talent losers.
yep..."shut your hole" is the right tag for this asshole...
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
His version of writers block involves losing the DVDs of the more talented comedians that he steals all of his jokes from. They must still be in the apartment.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
Jeez, Dane. You of all people should know that you don't have to actually reside in the former home of a talented comedian in order to steal his jokes.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
THE C WORD! I have that book that that picture is from! I totally forgot about it. Thanks for bringing back that memory.
I must go dig out Miss Nelson is Missing.
Ugh, I can't stand Dane Cook. In this pic he looks like that other tool, Dennis Quaid.
He is such a gross ugly untalented guy.
"I've seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it's destroyed careers."
The problem with that statement is that a)they were actually comics, b) they were creative and c)they had careers in the first place.
There's a special place in HELL for assholes like him who do not pick up after their dogs.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I didn't bring your breakfast, because you didn't eat your din-din!
Wow. He has lifted my hatred of him to a whole 'nother level.
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"Last time I got this little action, I was dry humping my way through the fifth grade." - Roland Glenn
where dolphin face dumbass diddy in all this? he's a pooper scooper, no? he knows a little about dog butt nuggets.
Submitted by Condi the ingro... on September 22, 2008 - 1:54pm.
Wow, as if I couldn't hate Dane Cook more... He goes beyond douchebag - I don't know what to call his brand of asshattery and arrogance.
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How about a fucktard dillhole assjack douchebag? That seems like a fitting name for him. Can you tell I don't like him?
And then I went to the link showing pics of his new house. HOW IN THE HELL???????? Why is this dumbass living in a house like that while us hard-working dlisters are struggling just to get by? It's not fair, I tell ya.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Is he fucking serious? If so, I think he needs psychiatric help. What a DOUCHE!!!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Whats even more offensive then him letting his dog shit everywhere and not pick it up is his 'acting' and 'comedy'. He's the worst. Not even remotly funny.
'You know this boogie is for real.'-Jamiroquai
Submitted by John D on September 22, 2008 - 1:58pm.
This is an old story. Dane has already moved out of the apartment and has purchased a home in the Hollywood hills. He blogged about it recently on his site. He said he loves his new home and is very happy there.
P.S. Why all the hate for Dane Cook? He is the the world's top stand-up comic, he sells out major arenas, and all of his CD's are huge sellers as well. So there must be other people out there that like him other then myself. I had the pleasure of meeting him after one of his sold out shows, and he could not have been a nicer guy. He stuck around until every autograph had been signed and every fan that wanted a photo taken with him got one.
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Suspiciouser and supspiciouser....
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Dane is an obvious homosexual!
Are there any nude photos?
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on September 22, 2008 - 11:06am.
PSL: "I did my best! I did my fucking best!"
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YES! That is the one! I laughed my ass off when he did that sketch....I have to admit....
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I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true
I wanna do bad things with you
- "Bad Things" - Theme from "True Blood"
I am sure it's been posted already. But simply doing the right thing and picking up the shit would have been far easier.
--thanks awfully--
I don't care about this either.
Wow, as if I couldn't hate Dane Cook more... He goes beyond douchebag - I don't know what to call his brand of asshattery and arrogance. You can live in that apartment as long as you want, dickhead - you will never absorb even one trillionth of Martin's or Belushi's talent! Why oh why is this guy still making movies and messing up my computer screen? He's ugly, he's obviously stupid, he's arrogant, and he's totally UNFUNNY. I know he must have made a pact with Beelzebub, because there is NO OTHER REASON for his "success."
Bleargh!
Dog shit should be Hot Slut of the Month...it keeps coming up at EVERY turn, MK!
Your face!
thats the kind of theft that is punishable by nard kickin
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on September 22, 2008 - 12:25pm.
Dane doesn't write anything himself; he just steals other comedians' material. He is widely hated
LOL... so does Carlos mencia
John D left this exact same comment on Mollygood (the link in Morning Wood) ahahahahah he's a professional DC supporter.!
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by 2 fatcats on September 23, 2008 - 1:19am.
He should be living in the same apartment building Pauly Shore and Carrot Top lived.
hooooo haaaa ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Pfft - his next home will be an old fridge box. He'll need a roommate. lol
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Dane doesn't write anything himself; he just steals other comedians' material. He is widely hated.
Douchy McTool!
MK,
Your commentary on this piece is priceless. I've been laughing so hard I've about shit myself.
Wiggity Wam Bam Wazzle!
Okie le Homie
Mmmmmmm Hmmmmmmm *nods yes*
And taint it funneh too that Kate Ho is in a ovie with that title and she bangs all her boyfirends best friends?
Katw Ho and Dane Shit Face = dog shit
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
It's so insulting to John Belushi and Steve Martin that he thinks his creativity is affected from them... Maybe their petrified shit.
He sucks at everything he does.
He should be living in the same apartment building Pauly Shore and Carrot Top lived. I can see him sponging off their creative juices.
I swear I can't think of a less talented actor/comedian out there. He is just awful!
Please tell me this is just one of his shitty not-funny jokes. Please.
LoLo.. and he's in a movie w/ Kate Hudson called My Best Fwiends Giwl.. Typical for both of them, me thinks!
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
CAn I hate Dane Cook because of his face?
I really dont like hi face, his voice, his clothes, his style, his soun effects in the mic, his jokes, his sense of humor, his choice in movies, his story telling delivery that leaves you begging for a stroke, his voice, or his mother ( for obvious reasons)
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I find this hard to believe considering he just bought an unbelievably fabulous Hollywood hacienda for $7 mil.
His ears are abnormally formed! Duuurrr is all I hear coming from his mouth.
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Pop Tarts
Kool-aid
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
Submitted by snowpiece on September 22, 2008 - 2:04pm.
John D. "So there must be other people out there that like him other then myself." ummmmm hmmmm and Jessica Simpson has the mumber two album on itunes, and George Bush was elected twice......don't worry, hon, you are not alone....
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*Shudder*
Can the people who re-elected him be given one big Darwin Award?
Ridiculous.
http://www.modegreen.com/
That lil retarded Toof of his is almost as annoying as him! And it makes soo much sense that him and Jessica were an 'item' at the 50cents or less store..
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Don't we make you Laugh??
Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?
What a fucking bell-end.
Hope the dog shits in his mouth.
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'Politically Correct' is the PC term for Spasticated Gaytalk.
PSL: "I did my best! I did my fucking best!"
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
It's okay Dane..
Missy has some friends that think you are "funny" and "Hot"
LoLo and I... Not so much
John D. "So there must be other people out there that like him other then myself." ummmmm hmmmm and Jessica Simpson has the mumber two album on itunes, and George Bush was elected twice......don't worry, hon, you are not alone....
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"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "
Submitted by xxyxz on September 22, 2008 - 2:31pm.
right?
I guess moving out of that apartment must have really fucked his creative juices because that crap was LAME!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I was thinking the same thing LOLo