Dita Von Teese Would Like To Sell You A Brassiere
Dita Von Teese launched her new line of brassieres(I bet she totally calls them that) and other lingerie items for Wonderbra in London today. That was nice of Aretha Franklin to lend Dita one of her old bras for her to sit on during the presentation.
Every time I see a picture of Dita, I get an intense craving for candy. The woman looks like she's made purely out of sugar. Her skin is like fluff, her hair and eyebrows are made of black licorice and her lips are covered in candy apple coating. Delicious. Now I really want something sugary. I don't have anything sweet in the house. I know. That should be illegal. I'll have to settle for a cup of sugar water. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
And I'd eat a whole bag of frozen peas just to see a makeupless Dita in some Juicy sweats and an oversized sweatshirt with her hair in a banana clip. That's probably how she hangs out at home. I mean, looking like that takes so much fucking work.
Here's more pictures of Dita at her titty holder launch today. You know there's a problem when your itty-bitty waist makes a skinny model look like a fat fuck. I can hear her ribs crying out in pain.
Wenn



I love that someone this psycho can be so sucessful.
She is beautiful! I love me some Dita Von Teese! :D
Submitted by honadelt on September 24, 2008 - 8:38am.
Here she is with no make up
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/19/190695/15_2008/dita_no_makeup1...
**********************************
That's the one I used for her sweats pic!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by TITS on September 24, 2008 - 1:07am.
Angel did you pshop dita? you have no icon, was the image too big?
***********************************
O no! Cantcha see me???
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
The models are fug.
Here she is with no make up
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/19/190695/15_2008/dita_no_makeup1...
Her face is decidedly average but she is immaculately turned out. Love the pale skin (so sick of fake orange) but sad about the implants.
@ meadowgirl. Dita is an example of what any woman can do. Her face is not THAT gorgeous. It's average. However she is packaged well. Anyone of us could pull that off. It just takes time, and the proper tools. Half of it is staying out of the sun.
As to finding a good bra for those with small rib-cages and big bresteses. Nordstroms has a line developed by an implant doctor whose patients needed help. My daughter works in a Nordstroms and was telling me about it. Unfortunately I cant remember the line. (lotta good it does ya huh?)
“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook”
I am really not into the whole burlesque thing but Dita is def a hottie!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
I think she looks lovely but bloody hell- how small is her waist to make (I imagine) skinny models look plump? That corset must be tight. Top marks for being pale though, I have similar colouring (Irish) and am glad to see a pale lady rather than all the shades of orange.
It does have to be said however that the model on the left looks about as sexy as an air raid shelter.
********************************************
Look Tater Head, I've found you a boyfriend!
When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
A brasserie is a type of cafe. I think you mean a "brassiere".
I'm so glad I'm flat as a pancake and don't need a bra - horrible things!
I like her black hair/pale skin combo though - a refreshing change from the usual orange look
I hate everyone, for the most part, but Dita is one classy broad. It's a nice change from the filthy likes of most of hollyweird's shemale tranny mess gutter trash.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Angel did you pshop dita? you have no icon, was the image too big?
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
i would never wear the stuff she does...but goddamn that is one fucking helluva gorgeous woman. i've forgiven her for marrying that stupid media fuck whore cause i pretend it never happened.
she's fabulous. i admire that someone like her is willing to dress the fuck up every day. i don't. i'm lucky i have clean chonies and a pair of chonklas on at work, okay!
go Dita! work it!
Sorry dolls, I can't hate on this dame. She is class act compared to most hos in press today.
That skin! Like butta. Love the make-up even though, yes, it is thick. Hair is elegant. Figure is a dream.
She keeps herself up. It's enough to make me do Pilates tomorrow.
It looks like Wonderbra is hard pretty hard up now that they are using her to promote their stuff. Bra sizing/fitting is bullshit anyhow.
Sweetheart, brasseries are cafes. I'd hate to see her wearing a coffee shop around on her boobies.
Actually, no I wouldn't. That would be incredibly rad.
Something unnerves me about this woman. She reminds me of a creepy little doll that comes alive at night when you are sleeping.
Hi, sorry if someone else has said this, but to properly measure yourself for a bra, do NOT add 5 to the measurement under your boobs.
Basically, measure around where the bra band would go, and if it's odd, you should try the two closest even sizes and pick the most comfortable one. If it's even, that's your band size.
To get your cup size, follow the typical instructions, those are OK.
Adding 5 is what gives you a way too loose band that rides up. Victoria's Secret tried to do that to me to get me to buy a bra that didn't fit me properly because they don't have a wide range of sizes.
Most women I've known have been wearing the wrong bra size for years and they didn't know it. When I teach them how to measure themselves properly, they find out just how comfortable a well-fitting bra can be.
I don't sell bras, I just speak from long experience with trying to find bras that fit me. I wear a 30E (my boobs are real) and it took me a while to sort through the BS of bra salespeople.
Two good places I like to buy my bras are online: figleaves.com and barenecessities.com -- they can be a bit expensive but not as much as La Perla :P
Anyway, I don't mean to lecture, but I hate to see women fooled into buying poorly fitting bras. A good bra is such a joy and does wonders for your assets ;)
If tater head is a tater head
then Dita is a tater head.
Not shocking but that close up
shot just shows the thickness
of makeup and hairspray. ICK!
She looks like she would crackle when her
head turns b/c she is covered in so much gunk.
Love the dress lots but why isn't she
modeling the goods she is whoring out?
I did it! I gots two!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Submitted by z-listed on September 23, 2008 - 8:41pm.
i think she's trying to channel Betty Boop... but not succeeding
-----------------------------
"Calling a mantra with a blade in the skin,
for the demons within.
I feel the pain is the death and decay,
but the lesson never fades away."
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on September 23, 2008 - 8:30pm.
*****************************
It's the Playboy connection. That's how I figure she's still considered relevant...
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
If Dita's idea of sexy underclothing means going back to the 30's and corsets, girdles and garter belts, she can keep them!
I really can't hate on this ho...I'm not saying the L word that makes me gag...(like....*gag*), but I can't find the hate in my tiny little ice cube of a heart for this ho...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I honestly don't understand how a company like Wonderbra can sponsor a professional stripper as their spokesperson?
Am I missing something?
************************************************
Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 7:58pm.
Oh fifi thank you!
Angel - feel like pshoping her? I could do it but haven't installed it yet on rebuilt puter.
********************************
Sweats on Dita!? Blasphemy!
I'll use that pic from fifi:)
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Dita is so overrated. Molly Ringwald in a black wig.
Oh fifi thank you!
Angel - feel like pshoping her? I could do it but haven't installed it yet on rebuilt puter.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Sorry, no "sweats" pics exist, afaik, but there's this.
Kiss,
Fifi
"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction..."
Submitted by I need more cowbell on September 23, 2008 - 7:11pm.
brassier is an undergarment, brasserie is a restaurant
____________________________________
and brass monkey is a song by the beastie boys.
brassier is an undergarment, brasserie is a restaurant
she's so beautiful.
i don't wear bras so, thanks Dita, but no thanks.
I'm actually a 32-33 D, my back is really small and a 34 rarely fits me in general and I constantly have to put the straps to the end and put the bra in the final hooks if not I sag. And most bra makers like Victoria's Secret don't even have 32 or 33 D in stock either. It's like they can't imagine a small woman having big boobs like I do. I happen to know many women with big boobs who are tiny. They have a hell of a time finding bras or clothes that fit them!
Deeta Von Teese must be wearing a MEGA-corset under that dress, it looks REALLY painful. It must totally hurt for her to exhale, jeesus!
Your face!
She is a scrumptious fantasy.
I <3 wonderbra. If you are like me and look and have the breast size of joe jonas... these bras will do wonders!
Sorry I was referring to La Perla bras.
"Shaking in their boots, invisible bully like the gooch" Biggie Smalls
I hear what you are saying, but I am not ready to spend $200 on a bra ($800 on shoes yes). I always go and check them out in Neiman Marcus up at Short Hills, but I don't think they will support you if you have large breasts.
"Shaking in their boots, invisible bully like the gooch" Biggie Smalls
I GOTTA TELL YOU MAN....WHAT YOU WRITE MAKES ME CRY...YOU ARE F$%$#N FUNNY!!! THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY
Submitted by speakit on September 23, 2008 - 4:51pm.
Submitted by Keane on September 23, 2008 - 4:45pm.
--------------------------
that's true about most women wearing the wrong size.
I wear 36 or 38 D, depending on the bra BUT when measured properly I'm supposed to wear an F cup. I don't think so. I'm sticking with D. but I swear when I have PMS, I feel like I should be wearing a ZZZZZZZZ cup
__________________________________________________
Hmmph you too!
"Shaking in their boots, invisible bully like the gooch" Biggie Smalls
Has any one asked her how she feels about Katy Perry ripping off her look? It's beyond blatant.
I just noticed her small waist. Does she wear a corset???
http://www.modegreen.com/
Yep Mrs K if you try on a 32 and find it is fitting comfortably but tightly (is that a word?) around the back on the loosest hook and its in line with the front of the bra under the cups its the right size. Then just follow the instructions to get the right cup. Most women's size is actually much smaller round the back than they realise - size 30 and 32 are quite common. Then lots of people have quite a big cup size - E, F, G, H etc. These are not extraordinary sizes. Its just because most fashion companies make bras in standard sizes 32-38 maybe and cups AA-DD that people think these are the most common sizes when everyone's wearing the wrong one - arghhh!!!
Ok...it says for a proper fit you should have someone measure you around your ribcage under your boobs. Add 5 to the measurement unless it is 35 or more, then you only add 3(then it would be 38). When you measure for your cup size around the tops of your breasts, the number should equal the number you got from your ribcage calculation.
Hints:
1. If the back size comes out to an uneven number, try the next size up.
2. If you are in-between sizes or you are having difficulty finding the correct fit, then if you go up in cup size come down in band size or if you go up in band size come down in cup size. For example, if you are wearing a 42D, but it is a little too snug around the band, then you would move up to a 44C.
^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
And as for where to get them, the only bras I can wear are by Freya or Fantasie (who are the cheaper versions of the posh Brit bra company Rigby and Peller). Put any of these names into google and you will find them. Or try www.bravissimo.com which will have some other brands in it as well. Difficult to get the right fit if you're not in the UK though I guess. The one downside is they have quite thick straps as bigger boobs need proper support so you won't get any of the thin strappy numbers. But you get used to it and at least you get a good boob shape - happy bra shopping!
Well, FFS, it looks like I am going to have to go down to a 32!
I went into a brasserie (um, that's a shop that sells bras, ICYDK) and asked the lady to measure me...she said I was a 32.
I did not believe her, but based on what Keane here is saying, I am beginning to think it is true.
Go.
Figure.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Farshtinkener
SHE'S GOT MAN HANDS!!
I'm bored with you now.
I get my brasserieriies on ebay. No, not 2nd hand ones! I have a favorite bra so I usually buy a few at a time. And I don't hafta leave the cave.
i'm a 36dd and never can find a proper bra. where do ya'll get yours? victorias secret is the closest i can find compared to the shit ones at dept. stores.
"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."
Aristotle