Dita Von Teese Would Like To Sell You A Brassiere
Dita Von Teese launched her new line of brassieres(I bet she totally calls them that) and other lingerie items for Wonderbra in London today. That was nice of Aretha Franklin to lend Dita one of her old bras for her to sit on during the presentation.
Every time I see a picture of Dita, I get an intense craving for candy. The woman looks like she's made purely out of sugar. Her skin is like fluff, her hair and eyebrows are made of black licorice and her lips are covered in candy apple coating. Delicious. Now I really want something sugary. I don't have anything sweet in the house. I know. That should be illegal. I'll have to settle for a cup of sugar water. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
And I'd eat a whole bag of frozen peas just to see a makeupless Dita in some Juicy sweats and an oversized sweatshirt with her hair in a banana clip. That's probably how she hangs out at home. I mean, looking like that takes so much fucking work.
Here's more pictures of Dita at her titty holder launch today. You know there's a problem when your itty-bitty waist makes a skinny model look like a fat fuck. I can hear her ribs crying out in pain.
Wenn
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Keane, you rock. Thanks for all the info because after reading it I feel like I've been a bra retard my whole boobie life. lol.
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“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
No but I'm a lesbian so sometimes get into trouble for it for that reason - ha ha! However, I was once in a pub talking to 2 friends of a friend and was explaining to them how to get the correct sized bra (this involved considerable yanking and examination of said items of clothing)and apparently there were several men enjoying watching the proceedings. (It was innocent though, honest, I was just trying to be helpful!)
This just reminds me that i am in dire need of a few new bras!!! ARRRGH...bra shopping is the WORST!!!!
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“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
Funny I got a "get a free panty(no purchase necessary)" coupon from Victorias Secret. I'm not gonna go there all, "yes, just getting my free panty" LOL
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Sugar Magnolia
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Dita's 40's burlesque schtick is lasting longer than the 40's.
I'm a 34 B, and I like the Body by Victoria's demi. Most of the time when I'm working, (landscaping), I wear sports bras. Maybe that's why my Vicky's bras last longer.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
ok darlin', a *brassiere* is a female undergarment for boobies. *brasserie* is french for brewery.
Oh yeah and also when you buy a bra it should fit you round the back on the widest hook. The choice of hooks is to compensate for when the elastic stretches with wear and you need to pull it in tighter. If you're wearing it on the tightest or middle hooks its too big and you need to go a size down. I'm telling you this bra business - its a minefield!
Ha...for 275, that bra better do the dishes too!!
I hate VS too....they NEVER have my size...36-38C. I have a large ribcage and my boobs are more between a C and D...nothing ever fits right. I finally found a couple of great push up bra's at like JCPenney's...and i love them.(cant recall the brand though) :D Other than that all the VS bras I have had were cheap and fell apart quickly with just a few washes. The one i did like they quit making! BASTARDS! pffft!
I agree that their stuff now isnt geared for REAL women...everything looks like its made for young teens. I'm sorry...but i dont want SEXY bedazzled on the ass of my undies. lol.
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“Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark”
Thanks Keane!
Do you ever run into problems starring at womens bras?
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
I will give Dita this...she has exquisite skin. And her makeup usually looks spot on with her hair, etc.
GASP
Buy a pretty bra, or pay a months rent... decisions decisions.
This is incredible, but seriously... the price? fuk. Even with detachable tassels!
http://www.laperlausa.com/USA/servlet/SetIDWebObject?ID=8764&IDType=prd
oh and they also thoughtfully provided the option of buying up to 5 at once.
kill me.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 -
Never had latkes with sour cream and apple sauce? Eating some now gnum gnum.
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OMG, I had those last week...love them! Now I'm hungry!
Love me some Dita!
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Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
TITS (appropriatly!) I will do my best to tell you but am a bit hazy on it, in fact I think there's some sort of chart you need. You basically measure around your chest underneath your bust - can be between 28 and I think 40+. Then you measure around the fullest part of your bust - and then it had something to do with adding 5 and then the difference in number between each measurement would give your cup size. HOWEVER the company I get my bras from says the best way to get the right fit is to try different ones on as all boobs are different shapes etc. A correctly fitting bra is as follows:
The strap around your back should be level with the part underneath your boobs at the front (i.e. not riding up higher - if it is it is too big and you need a smaller size).
The material between the cups should sit flat against your chest and not be pushed out in any way by your boobs - if it does the cups are too small.
Your boobs should fit comfortably into the cups but they shouldn't be tight or squashed - you should be abele to get your finger between the cup and your boob. If the bra is cutting into your boob the cup size is too small.
I can tell with anyone if they've got the right size bra or not - follow these steps and you can't go wrong. By the way bras are supposed to be comfortable but fairly tight around the back - this is where the support is supposed to come from, not at all the straps as most people think. Hope this helps!x
*looks around sadly*
I like my VS bras. They're from the Intimissi line and they are comfy and make my boobies look nice. Only about $30 too if you don't get ones with all the shit on them (like lace and bows).
I haven't been able to find any others I like yet. D:
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 1:57pm.
I wore a bra for years just because I thought I was supposed to, but if they don't sag or wobble - why bother?
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Huh, I thought you were implying that you are flat chested.
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Farshtinkener
Latkes are dandy, but liquors quicker.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 23, 2008 - 1:53pm.
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 1:46pm.
Almost makes me want to wear a bra... if I ever needed one. purrrr
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what are you trying to say?
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I just got lucky in the genes department. I wore a bra for years just because I thought I was supposed to, but if they don't sag or wobble - why bother? Unless it's to wear a padded bra of course.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
OMG, Smudge said BRASSERIE!!!!
heh heh heh
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Farshtinkener
Haha, I was going to make that brasserie/ brassiere comment too! Brasserie also means brewery, which I'd gladly buy for the price of a bra.
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 1:52pm.
Can I just bring liquor instead?
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Oh, yeah...Pudge is gonna loooooooooooooove you.
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Farshtinkener
smudge thank you :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 1:46pm.
Almost makes me want to wear a bra... if I ever needed one. purrrr
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what are you trying to say?
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Farshtinkener
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 23, 2008 - 1:40pm.
Speaking of latkes, my darling pussy cats
Save the date
Some time in December
Latke party at chez moi.
hee
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I'm ready. Put a parsnip in this batch - adds a nice bite.
I doubt your prick customs agents will let me over the border with latkes. Can I just bring liquor instead?
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
just to be really pedantic for a sec.......
a BRASSERIE is a restaurant!!
a BRASSIERE is the full name for a bra.
Her waist is scary. xx
Submitted by Keane on September 23, 2008 - 1:45pm.
Tell me, am I wearing the wrong size...cuz I'm pretty sure I am since ya know i just lost, like 23 pounds
Yeah me!!!!!!
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Farshtinkener
Submitted by Keane on September 23, 2008 - 4:45pm.
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that's true about most women wearing the wrong size.
I wear 36 or 38 D, depending on the bra BUT when measured properly I'm supposed to wear an F cup. I don't think so. I'm sticking with D. but I swear when I have PMS, I feel like I should be wearing a ZZZZZZZZ cup.
Do they have beheaded puppies on them?
Submitted by Keane on September 23, 2008 - 1:45pm.
okay I'm game - how do you know what your proper measurements are?
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
TITS yes seriously I still have the first one I bought in 1997ish and the elastic JUST got to where it was losing stretch.
Surrsley those are some good booby holders.
I buy mine at tjmaxx or ebay and pay $50, not $200.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Thanks for the giggles MK, needed it today! :)
Submitted by missy on September 23, 2008 - 1:17pm.
La Perla makes the best bras and panties. they are gorgeous, comfortable, always make for good boob shapes and they literally last 10 years.
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Now THESE are gorgeous, but no way they're lasting 10 years??
Almost makes me want to wear a bra... if I ever needed one. purrrr
http://www.laperlausa.com/USA/Glam/Bras.jsp
edit. well slap my ass and call me sally a $274.00 BRA???: http://www.laperlausa.com/USA/servlet/com.dsdata.taxi.tecx.SetIDWebObjec...
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Her jaw is nearly as big as old Tater Head's.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Oh and some bra facts for all bra fact fans - 9 out of 10 women wear the wrong size bra and this is primarily because most underwear makers only make bras between roughly sizes 32-38DD. A huge number of women don't actually fit into these sizes at all but are sold them as this is all the shop sells. I wore a 34C for years as a teen until I was eventually measured properly and found out I was a 30F and am now a 28G. Hardly any bra companies make these sizes and I can only buy them from one or two companies in the UK. Most of my friends wear the wrong size bra, its very easy to tell once you know how. I'm on a mission to rid the world of women wearing the wrong size bra!
Is it me or does the chick on the left looks kinda trannyish? Just sayin'.
Victoria's secret is shit their bras are cheaply made in sweatshops then they turn around and sell them for $50-$60. They also use a ridiculous amount of paper a year on the thousands of catalogs they send out every month. The bras/clothes, that people return that are in good condition instead of donating it, to good will they destory it, and throw it away. Its amazing how incredibly wasteful that company is.
Submitted by Actrss16 on September 23, 2008 - 9:36am.
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That's what I'm saying. The bra's pretty and all...lacey but it's uncomfortable.
I now buy $20-$30 bras and they're way better and my fun bags fit in them
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Sugar Magnolia
Speaking of latkes, my darling pussy cats
Save the date
Some time in December
Latke party at chez moi.
hee
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Farshtinkener
The only bra I like at VS is the Body by VS style, very plain, no ridic padding.
Submitted by TITS on September 23, 2008 - 4:37pm.
LMFAO!! well in my mind, that's fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a biscuit. and that's what I want. :P
I need a new bra.
I'm with Actrss16
Victoria's Secret bras suck
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Farshtinkener
I can still smell Marilyn Manson on her.
Speakit - that is NOT a picture of KFC *snit*. Never had latkes with sour cream and apple sauce? Eating some now gnum gnum.
~~ Outrageous Fortune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94OawKbP6bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OklclPee5KM&feature=related
Miss Priss: I AM A 34D AND HATE VICTORIA'S SECRET WITH A PASSION!!!!! They're fucking expensive and are not made for women with real boobs.
I am over this bitch. NEXT.
O - and I see in the thumbs that they are also made for men! How nice!!!
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork
Hmm she was on a UK magazine programme this morning and was completely dull. Its a really fun show with funny presenters who are always cracking jokes and dissolving into fits of giggles. Dita remained tight-lipped and non-smiling throughout and talked in this ridiculous faux soft and low voice which she has clearly honed to match her clothes and make-up. She barely cracked a smile throughout the whole interview and came over as taking herself far too seriously. You're promoting underwear for fuck's sake Dita and you have a stripping routine - you are not the reincarnation of Greta Garbo - please get over yourself! And although she looks great in these pics I think the effect is mainly created with make-up and up close she is nowhere near as pretty - sorry!
She needs to get her crooked teef fixed so she can smile in her pics.
The Gayken has decided to come out ON THE COVER OF PEOPLE MAGAZINE, stand by for a claymates mass suicide pact LOL
Dita tried SO hard to bring burlesque back...a more, um, ladylike version of stripping/dancing, but failed miserably. The old school burlesque queens were sensational.
Yeah, I bought a bra from Vicky D's and let me tell you that shit was $50 bucks(as are all their bras). I don't even wear the shit. I'm a 34D and the bra says it's a 34D but my tittays don't fit in it. Fuckery!
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Sugar Magnolia