Wednesday, September 24th 2008

The Fertile Waters Of Kununurra

If you're in a rush to get knocked up, quickly head on over to the Australian town of Kununurra and dip your vagina in their waterfalls. You will be pregnant before you can say "botox." In an interview with Australian Women's Weekly (via AP), Nicole Kidman says swimming in the waterfalls of Kununurra might have had something to do with her unexpected pregnancy.

Nicky was in Kununurra to shoot the movie "Australia." She said six other women who also swam in the waters also got pregnant. "I never thought that I would get pregnant and give birth to a child, but it happened on this movie. Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now."

She went on to say that right after she put her ice cold vagina into the waterfalls, a friendly stork with a silly hat flew by and dropped Sunday Rose into her loving arms. A dozen fish jumped out of the water holding a bassinet made of crystals and silk. Then a magical mermaid touched Nicole's forehead melting away all the wrinkles. The rest is history....

Seriously. Nicole should be thanking Serta for her pillow baby.

Nicole went on to talk about her fairytale pregnancy. "I'm so lucky I'm so tall, so I carried small and also, I have to say, I had a birth that I was blessed with, a labor that was very good and a baby that was very good to me in that regard. To be given this again is a beautiful thing. To have raised Bella and Connor since I was 25 and now to be able to do it again at 41 ... wow!"

Cut to Nicole's baby oven screaming, "Bitch, please!"

Posted by: Michael K


Albatross's picture

It's curious that we haven't yet really seen this kid. I think I saw a picture of her hand once. That picture above is just bizarre.

********
Wig Wam Bam - wanna make you my man!

snowpiece's picture

ok bitch, why'd you have to go and mess it up by saying you raised those two little xenus? I was all ready to book my ticket to lake Mark Kanemura
and get me a bebe girl!
****************************1/20/09
"So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. "

carefreea's picture

BO LAX.

ILovePapaSmurf's picture

Does she even see the kids she adopted with Tom Cruise or is that not in the "contract?"
--------------------------------------

Knew Clay Aiken was gay the whole time.

Hekki's picture

Hogwash.

All of it.

Silvara0428's picture

to early for this shiot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".

putsomestankonit's picture

Delusion be thy name.

islandgirl's picture

Raised Isabella and Connor? She really does live in la-la land.

***********************************************
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I slept with you because I was pissed.