The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For September 24th!

Martha prepares to show off what she learned in the clink.

It's 2AM, do you know where your MK is? Martha Stewart knows. She always has the perfect lure ready to catch her midnight "snack."

{Don't Scare Me I Poop Easily}

Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner, then every one would be in love with me....

Oh Shit, its Martha, nevermind....

McCain, since you are a true American hero, I'd love to give you this Oscar Mayer weiner. Now on the count of 3, I want you to shake your moneymaker like somebody's gonna pay you. 1....2....and heave ho.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162

Wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick....but that might do :)

Not a caption, but here's a quote from Martha Stewart about this exact hot dog:

"For those of you who don’t think length matters, I disagree – especially when it comes to wieners. There’s just never enough bites in a hot dog."

You can't write this shit! MARTHA should be the honorary CAPTION THIS winner by default! LOL

{Don't Scare Me I Poop Easily}

Oprah's Wet Dream

You know, in China they say, "The thinner the chopsticks, the higher the social status." Of course, I get the thickest, longest I can find.....that's why people hate me. But, it's a good "thing."

{Don't Scare Me I Poop Easily}

"Who needs a man when I've got this"

MK's ultimate dream/nightmare combo.

Easy to make, right viewers? In prison, I had to trade three packs of cigarettes for a hot dog this size. If I wanted the mustard, I'd have to throw in a rim job.

Don't worry, he says! It's kosher, he says!

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Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?

Open wide...it's a GOOD thing

Submitted by The Hoople on September 24, 2008 - 7:04pm.
I call it the Tommy Lee.
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LOL - Winner!

After her stint in prison Martha couldn't wait to get her hands on a big juicy weiner.

This is the only weiner she's going to ever see again. Especially after being in prison.

Kathy Griffin just called and asked me to make a stage prop for her next "Gayken" story! It's a good thing!

Fucking that loose whore Clay Aiken was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway, this might work.

I call it the Tommy Lee. Ridiculously long, covered in a thick yellowish goo and jammed tight into a bun.

Alderson had many alternate recipes of entertainment for Martha when on canteen duty for good behavior...

A six foot long fecal impaction removed with Ms Stewart's Intestinal Detoxification Program.

What bitches!!!!! Didn't think that I could make my own internet sex tape, ``` think again!!!!

Martha Stewart is the next Lorena Bobbit.

Nine feet of meat? It's a very good thing

Stop tap dancing down jackass alley...

Martha's catering Clay Gayken's coming out party

Ten seconds later after this aired Clay Aiken's rep called to get rights to the photo to use as cover art for his upcoming cd "My love affair with Weiners and Buns"

A heartbroken former fan of Clay "Ovary Shakin" Gayken, consoled herself this afternoon with the world's longest tube steak, convinced beyond doubt that it was clearly a fish taco.

Martha whips it out.

Today on Martha Stewart Living, hosting a Johnny Wadd Party, what to serve.

"it's a good thing"

MARTHA SHOWS US THE UNIVERSAL FANTASY OF EVERY WOMAN BEHIND BARS.

My hot dog has a first name, it's E-v-e-r-y-w-o-m-a-n-s-f-a-n-t-a-s-y.

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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ

Despite being dumped by Charles Simonyi, Martha discovers she can still get some wiener.

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Keep your muscles strong
Around your asshole
Keep your muscles strong around your brain
That way too much shit doesn't get out
And stops you sounding insane

Martha's double-ended gift for the impending Lohan-Ronson union.

"A big wiener, It's a GOOD thing."

After Clay Aiken came out from the closet, a claymate decided to shake her ovaries with this wiener

Hi and bye C Word!! :o) Off to watch the finale of Dexter! WooHoo!!!! Goodnight!

10 feet of reconstituted lips and ass-holes...it's a REALLY good thing.

After her stint in jail Martha worked for years to prove she still had the biggest wiener in the corporate world.

I see Martha finally decided what to do with Paw Paw’s remains.

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I'm hoping to be sponsered by Frito-Lay and Visine.

You know, you invite Martha Stewart to a simple "celebrity javelin throw" and right away she has to go and be a hyper-competitive susie-homemaking bitch.

Martha had Paris on her show today for a 'My Favorite Things' segment.

After her stay at "Camp Cupcake", Martha realized the food anologies would follow her through probation.

Martha displays the fruits of her knowledge obtained from the women's federal penitentiary in making dildos out of accumulated cafeteria food.

Ok! That's enough! You better warn me before she shows her ham platter!

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Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?

Ok first - I don't know if you guys have Pizza Pizza there or if it's Canadian...if you don't; it's like the McDonald's of pizza. A whole long time ago they had this printed on their boxes:

Try our TWELVE INCH Italian!
(a sub, of course!)

This reminds me of that.

CAPTION: Martha says: Do I like a good foot long? Ho ho ho! I think NOT! :)

♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
"You sicken everyone! Even Michael Jackson!" overheardinnewyork

Martha finally reveals her favorite creation from the prison craft shop.

After the break, guest Clay Gayken will demonstrate how to efficiently lick off the mustard in one fell swoop.

In prison Martha learned how to turn this into the world's longest shiv.

If the set guy holding up the end of the dog looks pissed, it's because he had to prop that damn hot dog for 2 hours while Martha made perfectly symmetrical mustard squiggles.