No Laughing Matter
61-year-old Philip Seaton of Louisville, KY waltzed into an operating room last October to get a circumcision as part of treatment for a medical condition. When Philip woke up after surgery, his foreskin was missing alright, but so was the rest of his peen! The doctor straight-up cut off the dude's wang! The phrase "not right" was invented for this story.
Philip is suing Dr. John Patterson for chopping off his turtle friend without permission. He is also suing the anesthesiologist, Dr. Oliver James, because Philip claims he did not agree to general anesthesia. He is seeking peenitive...I mean...punitive damages against both doctors.
Dr. Patterson said he amputated Philip's willy after finding cancer. Philip's attorney said, "Sometimes you have an emergency and you have to do this, but he could very easily closed him up and said, 'Here are your options. You have cancer,' and the family would have said, 'We want a second opinion. This is a big deal.'" How big of a deal exactly?
This is what I think. The court should decide based on the size of the member. If it was 8.5 inches or more, these doctors should hand over their entire fortunes to Philip and spend the rest of their lives in jail. If it was 6 inches or less, well then.... You know what?! I take that back. Peen is peen! Did Dr. Patterson go to the Lorena Bobbitt School of Surgery?! You just don't treat dick that way! You wine and dine dick. You take it to the theater and buy it flowers. You don't fucking hack it off without getting a man's blessing first!
Thanks SK
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Submitted by jussayin on September 25, 2008 - 10:23pm.
But I also cry BS that this guy didn't know when he started getting general anesthesia.....
that was the first clue, when they put something over his face and had him start counting backward....
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I was placed under a general anesthetic given intravaneously, so it is possible.
We saw the pron that John made right after his unit was restored. my dear, we needed a magnifying glass to see it!
Also, if that evil fish had been in her own country, she would not now be alive.
that's smegma, silly.
and no it really doesn't cause cancer....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
This is a bit technical, but the medical condition that prompted the circumcision is known as "adult dick cheese."
As soon as it became commercialized, and insurancilized, and more about corporate financial issues, that is when it became a problem. Most doctors are amazingly overworked and underappreciated and overwheled and no one does fuck all about it!
But I also cry BS that this guy didn't know when he started getting general anesthesia.....
that was the first clue, when they put something over his face and had him start counting backward....
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Submitted by Sandbitch: "Surgeons are psychopaths who get paid."
Especially those plastic surgeons.
Oh lordy, I HATE doctors. Hate 'em. The whole reason I try to be as healthy as possible is to stay the fuck AWAY from them. I know they can save your life and all, but anytime anyone I know goes to one, they wind up with more problems and a handful of scrips.
And 90% of all the stories I've heard (and personal experience) about hospitals has been that one mistake leads to another and another and so on. My FIL died because two doctors were prescribing the same drug (different names) and no one bothered to check. By the time *I* (don't even have a college degree, mind you) discovered it, he had liver and kidney damage (he was a diabetic) he had been hospitalized and died a short time later. My good friend almost died from a major systemic infection because her doctor brushed off an infection in her breast (plugged milk duct) that led to an abcess. She went to the ER anyway and they fucked up with the MRI and tests and she wound up in the ICU, in a tent with MRSA. Her husband had to wear a hazmat suit to visit her. She barely survived.
Seems he has a personal account on a famous millionaire dating site called """""""""""RichMatchMaking.com""""""""""""where lots of rich people share their lifestyle with. I am curious what kind of relationship he's looking for. Is he single now?
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MK, this post is the funniest shit I've read in a while. PEENitive damages? Wining and dining dick? Classic - THANK YOU for making my week.
Hopefully this will help raise dick cancer awareness.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
HAHAHAHAHA ANGEL!!!
61-year-old Philip Seaton of Louisville, KY was quoted as saying; "Hey! I was still using that!"
♥ ThreadKilla!/Lean Like a Chola/She's a Lady.
Robbed! Isis says goodbye to ANTM:( NOT photoshopped, btw.
In unrelated news, Tom Cruise has a new recipe for Party Mix.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
Submitted by speakit on September 25, 2008 - 7:57pm.
YUCUTMYPP?
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CUZKYSUX
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LOL...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Dick Cancer! sounds like a porn name...
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
YUCUTMYPP?
________________
CUZKYSUX
YUCUTMYPP?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
This story is a bit much for a gossip blog. Its just a retched story. This shit has ruined my night.
Is it just me or does Mr Bobbit remind you of Levi- Bristol Palin's dude?
"Submitted by silvarga on September 25, 2008 - 4:47pm.
So I just read penile cancer is real. But wouldn't it be detectable BEFORE direct surgery?"
Oh hell yeah. In fact, I'm questioning why an oncologist wasn't consulted first -- one was in my dad's case.
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Keep your muscles strong
Around your asshole
Keep your muscles strong around your brain
That way too much shit doesn't get out
And stops you sounding insane
Submitted by M.E. on September 25, 2008 - 4:15pm.
Submitted by Dr. Dick on September 25, 2008 - 1:10pm.
Was it really necessary to bring up smegma during the dinner hour? And no, it doesn't cause cancer--just a bad smell.
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Maybe you should read the link provided below. Dick cancer IS caused by the smegma.
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What link? Bibliography, please!
Submitted by TITS on September 25, 2008 - 5:45pm
Thanks, TITS. (There's something you don't say everyday)
I guess I'll just stick w/ reruns of Gilligan.
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She's flat and that's that!
Flatsy, Lost is like a soap opera, and it moves just as quickly.
A soap opera set on a island.
I watched all the eps one weekend and felt like there was hardly any progress in the story line.
It's clever and interesting at first but then it goes ZING! out there.
Submitted by Dr. Dick on September 25, 2008 - 1:10pm.
Was it really necessary to bring up smegma during the dinner hour? And no, it doesn't cause cancer--just a bad smell.
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Maybe you should read the link provided below. Dick cancer IS caused by the smegma.
Was it really necessary to bring up smegma during the dinner hour? And no, it doesn't cause cancer--just a bad smell.
Good gawd, I hope he got a blow job on the way to the hospital!Hell of a deal!
Now that is just fucking wrong.
Submitted by snowpiece on September 25, 2008 - 4:42pm
I've never seen Lost - is it any good?
I used to watch Gilligan's Island? Does that count?
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She's flat and that's that!
scary stuff. good thing i woke up from my circumcision operation when i was 21. thigs woould have been a tad different now.....
Does anyone have a SMEG appliance in their home?
Submitted by Stoney on September 26, 2008 - 6:43am.
And Mrs. Kravitz, I don't know one single memaw who knows the word smegma. You're one cool old bitch!
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Hmmm. Have you heard of a "smegolith"? Think dirty old men that haven't bathed in years. Nast.
did y'all know that 'bobbit' is an official verb?? It means to cut of one's penis... seriously. I think...
So I just read penile cancer is real. But wouldn't it be detectable BEFORE direct surgery?
I think the judge should throw out the case against the anesthesiologist, but take that doctor for every cent he has. If he doesn't have proof or pics that prove the guy had penile cancer the the judge should order to have HIS dick cut off.
Being involuntarily Nullo'd is just not right. (Unless you're a cat or dog)
And Mrs. Kravitz, I don't know one single memaw who knows the word smegma. You're one cool old bitch!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Submitted by Madam Pince on September 25, 2008 - 5:04pm
Madam, glad to hear your Dad is doing so well. Five years after surgery must be a milestone.
It sucks when they get older and things start to go wrong.
I only know about the Sharpie markings b4 surgery because my mother is practically bionic at this point. I think I'll start calling her the Bionic Memaw.
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She's flat and that's that!
*gags on popcorn*
Sorry!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Peen cancer does exist; my dad had it. Like this guy, he wasn't circumcised as a child and wasn't taught the importance of good peen hygiene. His willy was removed in two operations in 2003 & 2004, but he knew in advance what was coming and made the decision himself. The doctor should have given Seaton the chance to do so himself.
DAE, my dad pees sitting down now. (He just celebrated his 80th BD.)
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Keep your muscles strong
Around your asshole
Keep your muscles strong around your brain
That way too much shit doesn't get out
And stops you sounding insane
that doc is done!
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Hey I ain't trippin cuz the truth is really you don't know me- T.I.
Couldn't the doctor wait until the poor fuck woke up and TOLD him about the cancer before lopping off his willy? DAMN!
"When I die, Satan is going to weep, 'cause that bitch will know he is out of a job."
First "Cheetopatra" and now "peenitive damages"?!?! LMAO! You're on a roll today!
Sorry, the word smegma, makes me laugh every time.
Submitted by cultmovieheathers on September 25, 2008 - 12:13pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 25, 2008 - 3:57pm.
If this guy doesnt have a dick anymore....how does he pee???
He will probs have to get more surgeries to be able to pee like a lady.OR some kind of catheter thingy.
That sucks.
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They surgically change the urethra with an on/off valve. See below.
Submitted by findleynb on September 25, 2008 - 1:13pm.
penis cancer? never heard of it.
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it's caused by smegma
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This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Submitted by Flatsy on September 25, 2008 - 2:09pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on September 25, 2008 - 3:59pm.
Is that true? Or are you just funnin?
SOP at a lot of hospitals to mark patients with a Sharpie to avoid "wrong side surgeries".
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Do cholas go to hospitals?
penis cancer? never heard of it.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on September 25, 2008 - 3:57pm.
If this guy doesnt have a dick anymore....how does he pee???
He will probs have to get more surgeries to be able to pee like a lady.OR some kind of catheter thingy.
That sucks.
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"I like my sprite easter pink"WEEEEEEEEEEEEZY!
Flatsy: oh ok , thanks for the info, it reminded me of NOT PENNY'S BOAT! sorry if you don't watch Lost :)****************************1/20/09
It says "Georgia Claymates: How Clay are We" if they were really shocked it's even funnier!
"If the cancer is more advanced then a total penectomy is the option. A new urethral opening is created in the groin to allow for urination. Urination is controlled via a 2on-off valve."
Uhhhhhm, having an on/off valve to urinate would really piss me off.
No pun intended there.
Submitted by snowpiece on September 25, 2008 - 3:59pm.
Is that true? Or are you just funnin?
SOP at a lot of hospitals to mark patients with a Sharpie to avoid "wrong side surgeries".
It works as a last check.
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She's flat and that's that!
The surgeon should have his hands amputated, and then he would have that "aha" moment.
Surgeons are psychopaths who get paid. My last employer was such an example. He was skeeeery.
HA! BUT I AM SCARIER.
I sued the cunt for being such a cunt.