She's Still Jenny From The Block
Devoted mother and champion athlete JLo and Skeletor arrived to a Dolce & Gabbana party in Milan in a golden fucking carriage pulled by four white horses. They look like the tackiest vampires in Transylvania. Wait. Is there such a thing as a vampire with a big fat ass?
Other guests at the party also arrived by horse and carriage, but you know JLo made sure she picked out her carriage first. Those poor horses probably got the runs when they saw JLo and her life-support-needing husband.
I like JLo's veil, but you know what would have made it even better? If it was a few inches longer and made out of a paper bag.
Here's more of JLo wearing one of Liberace's old nightgowns last night. Matthew McConaughey was also at the party. It looks like he's been taking beauty tips from Zac Efron and Xtina.
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OMFG
KIZZY!!!!
*sobs with happiness* I MEEEEEESSED YOUUUU!
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I'm so happy and scared to be here.
we is talling jokes?
okay
Guy comes home from work, his girlfriend is standing in the living room all pissed off, she has her bags packed.
"what's wrong honey?, he asked.
"I had the news on, and I heard you're a pedohile!", his girlfriend cried.
The man replied
"Pedophile, wow, that's a big word for a twelve year old!"
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Submitted by Kizzy on September 26, 2008 - 2:44pm.
You got the matzo ready for the big Shalom-In to support the Dems?
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Barack LOVES my matzo brei. So does McCain, but I told him to shove it.
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Does class A absolutely guarantee if they is better quality?
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 26, 2008 - 5:37pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on September 26, 2008 - 2:34pm.
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nice one, Mrs.K!!!
You got the matzo ready for the big Shalom-In to support the Dems?
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
LCT,
"Jammies, dark chocolate Toblerone and wine."
And PSILY!!!!!
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Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
Submitted by Stan Hooper on September 26, 2008 - 2:35pm.
I agree with those who say it's disgusting that these people are parading in all this glamour when folks can't pay for their homes.
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But that's what makes these two hworz feel so good about themselves.
They love looking down on the "little people."
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Does class A absolutely guarantee if they is better quality?
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 26, 2008 - 5:32pm.
Y'know what I really have a hankerin' for right now? A large serve of McDonalds french fries with extra salt and a bloody mary with a swizzle stick of celery. Breakfast!
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Now THAT is the Breakfast of True Champions!!!
Celery makes me fart, though, so you can have my swizzle, I'll spare you, you'd never finish your fries otherwise. Also, it kind of knocks out whomever is sharing a section with me, and they frown on that sort of thing at Mickey D's. Can't imagine why...
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on September 26, 2008 - 2:34pm.
what did the bra say to the hat?
(yeah I know I posted this last week ago but Kizzeleh was not here)
You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.
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Does class A absolutely guarantee if they is better quality?
Skeletor should really wear padded trousers to give the illusion of legs. He totally resembles a tadpole.
UGH! what is the deal with her lips. GROSS!
I agree with those who say it's disgusting that these people are parading in all this glamour when folks can't pay for their homes.
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 26, 2008 - 5:29pm.
**Grabs footie pj's, OX doll, and a spoon**
Did you say "chocolate?"
What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
We all know that Skeletor is packin', that is the only answer possible.
Religion is the stick they beat people with...lesliesmith2007
Submitted by Kizzy
You can always join me in shots of pomegranate vodka. It's fab with a pineapple juice chaser. Vitamin C, it's healthy!!!
Oh damn! I missed a joint and EEG!! Thanks, EEG!!
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That sounds delicious! I'll swap you a jug of that for some doobie.
Y'know what I really have a hankerin' for right now? A large serve of McDonalds french fries with extra salt and a bloody mary with a swizzle stick of celery. Breakfast!
This cunt needs to get in the kitchen and whip me up a delicious Puerto Rican buffet. I wish she *would* go back to "the block" again to get laughed at by all the people working two jobs and living 6 deep in a 1 bedroom apartment. Why don't ya sell your Cinderella carriage and donate it to the people wanting to give decent funerals to unidentified drug mules who were either poisoned or murdered? Fuck you, Jennifer "Lopez". Jessica Alba is more Latina than you.
Submitted by Clarisse on September 26, 2008 - 5:25pm.
LCT,
Friend is having a bon-fire and he said if i didn't show, the neighbors dog was going in the pit.
It's up to me to prevent animal abuse!!
You?
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Jammies, dark chocolate Toblerone and wine. Doesn't that sound just peachy?
That bon fire sounds like fun. Fart into the fire for me!
They all arrived to the castle, and did the Time Warp....
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Steve Smith: So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage?
Stanley Smith: That's right. Or angels will kill you. Good night.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 26, 2008 - 5:23pm.
Kizzy, do you wonder if JLo's constant squintface is to prevent the tears from her stinky ass from showing?
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Without a doubt!! Us average folk, not used to such fumes, would require safety glasses!!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 26, 2008 - 5:22pm.
You can always join me in shots of pomegranate vodka. It's fab with a pineapple juice chaser. Vitamin C, it's healthy!!!
Oh damn! I missed a joint and EEG!! Thanks, EEG!!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
LCT,
Friend is having a bon-fire and he said if i didn't show, the neighbors dog was going in the pit.
It's up to me to prevent animal abuse!!
You?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
Nice to know Hollywood actors are so humble and grounded these days.
I mean, seriously? We are beginnning a descent into recession in this country and these people are cavorting around in fucking GOLD CARRIAGES???
Good grief.
Kizzy, do you wonder if JLo's constant squintface is to prevent the tears from her stinky ass from showing?
Submitted by Kizzy on September 26, 2008 - 5:17pm.
Better relocate the toilet bats if you ate beans, that might get tricky--HAHAHAHAHA That LTC, she's such a randy bitch, she's gotten everybody knocked up with poo babies--except me**sniff
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*Hump hump hump* now you haz a poo bebe!
All thats left of my Friday night is the hangover. Y'all were sleeping when I was drumk and posting last night.
LOVECARROTTOP: Just for you---
You know, one time I farted so badly that I had to spend 15 years in jail....for air pollution.
What happened to the blind skunk?
He fell in love with a fart.
What do you get if you eat beans and onions?
Tear Gas.
Why don't little girls fart?
Because they don't have assholes until they're married.
They fit here, because you know with an ass that big, there's a constant gas leak.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
*Pinching Miss Priss's tuchus as she sashays out the door*
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This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Oh MK, TELL IT LIKE IT IS!
"I like JLo's veil, but you know what would have made it even better? If it was a few inches longer and made out of a paper bag."
LMAO
hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
High five Clarissalina! Big plans for tonight?
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 26, 2008 - 5:09pm.
My selection of Kizzy.
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I am so impressed, and very humbled. Thank you, seriously. Those are fantastic. I am so sorry I missed them when you did them, and so glad to see them now!!
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 26, 2008 - 5:08pm.
Kizz
I fed the toilet bats and ate some green beans in your honor, then,I'm gonna birth out LTC's poo baby.
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Better relocate the toilet bats if you ate beans, that might get tricky--HAHAHAHAHA That LTC, she's such a randy bitch, she's gotten everybody knocked up with poo babies--except me**sniff
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Carrottop,
High five!!!! It's Friday!!!
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I'm going through the change, right? -MK
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 26, 2008 - 4:11pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 26, 2008 - 5:08pm.
Kizz
I fed the toilet bats and ate some green beans in your honor, then,I'm gonna birth out LTC's poo baby.
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Do you need drugs?
of fucking course I need drugs!
nighty miss priss!
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Have a great evening/weekend my lovelies!!!
*leaves joint for Mrs. K*
Enjoy!!!
♥
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Can't wait to see Weezer Next Week~~~
Lopez has officially gone off the deep end!!! I knew she would get desperate but being back with Medina as her manager it's a combo of crazy as ass and desperate. All I know is it's fun to watch someone fall off. Especially her because she's going to try to hold on with her fingernails with those invitro twins strapped to her back. Better yet she'll probably drop them they might weigh her down.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 26, 2008 - 5:09pm.
But, but, it's ok if they've been snipped, right? HAHAHAHAHA (I'll behave, I promise)
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 26, 2008 - 5:08pm.
Kizz
I fed the toilet bats and ate some green beans in your honor, then,I'm gonna birth out LTC's poo baby.
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Do you need drugs?
ughhhh. that is just in poor taste. Our economy is in the shitter and they go and arrive in a fucking carriage. I bet the wheels are made of 24k gold! And her dress is made of blood diamonds. fuck you, JLO. FUCK YOU!
Submitted by Clarisse on September 26, 2008 - 5:07pm.
Kizzy!!
All the better for seeing you!!!!
Personally, I think you're neurotic if you're not nervous about basically a stranger getting to feel you up wherever they want and you pay them for it. Maybe that's just me, tho---HAHAHAHAHA
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Clarisse, I don't mind the cursing, it's all the talk about cock sucking that makes me squeamish.
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This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
My selection of Kizzy.
Kizz
I fed the toilet bats and ate some green beans in your honor, then,I'm gonna birth out LTC's poo baby.
on topic, i got nuttin.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
Thanks Mrs. K.
Catch you later sluts.
Kizzy, welcome back.
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pathetic is chatting with bitch of crazy mouth
Funny Bitch LoLo as FLA
Submitted by Miss Priss on September 26, 2008 - 1:58pm.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, don't bogart that joint my friend, pass it over to me.
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This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Kizzy!!
I was shitty until now!! My favorite peeps!!!
Had a doctors appointment so i am a nervous wreck the day before and the day after.
I know, neurotic much????
How iz you???
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I'm going through the change, right? -MK
@Kizzy...
Bitch, you should see my selection of KIZZY avatars.
I'll run through them for you...
Brad Kizzay
Henry Kizzay
Bender Kizzay
Where's Kizzay
Kiss Kizzay
Sourpuss Kizzay
Dalek Kizzay
Dreamy Wino Eyes Kizzay.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on September 26, 2008 - 4:57pm.
Off Topic...What time does the debate start PST?
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six o'clock
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This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 26, 2008 - 5:04pm.
@Kizzy...
HAHAHAHAHAHAH Until I saw that one, I never realized how much Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger resemble each other!!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Clarisse on September 26, 2008 - 5:01pm.
Carrottopalina!!!!!
*runs over and dry humps her leg*
My Friday is complete!!!
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Oh my God if that wasn't the best dry hump I've ever gotten then I'll be damned!
Oh dear, hilarious comments!
I think she makes the urrghhh face because she is wearing ehr flatulent husband's transparnt knickers on her head.
Confucius asso say sat when husband's pew pants on head fogg brain, put magic rhinestone suit on.
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
Submitted by Clarisse on September 26, 2008 - 5:01pm.
****gropes Clarisse's ass with both hands****
How the hell are you, doll??!!!!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
*Mrs K. close your ears*
WELL FUCK ME!!! I WAS GONNA SKIP THE JHo THREAD!!! FUCK IF IT AIN'T KIZZY!!!
KIZZY!!!
*runs over and dry humps her leg*
Welcome my funny fine filly!!
Carrottopalina!!!!!
*runs over and dry humps her leg*
My Friday is complete!!!
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I'm going through the change, right? -MK
Submitted by Sandbitch on September 26, 2008 - 4:58pm.
@Kizzy...
**bows at Sandbitch's feet**
I am so sorry I have missed these, thank you, I have heart-thumpy happy times!!!
Anybody kinda feel sorry for Skeletor? He looks like he's dropped his watch in the toilet--having a shitty time. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008 - 8:05pm
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥