She's Still Jenny From The Block
Devoted mother and champion athlete JLo and Skeletor arrived to a Dolce & Gabbana party in Milan in a golden fucking carriage pulled by four white horses. They look like the tackiest vampires in Transylvania. Wait. Is there such a thing as a vampire with a big fat ass?
Other guests at the party also arrived by horse and carriage, but you know JLo made sure she picked out her carriage first. Those poor horses probably got the runs when they saw JLo and her life-support-needing husband.
I like JLo's veil, but you know what would have made it even better? If it was a few inches longer and made out of a paper bag.
Here's more of JLo wearing one of Liberace's old nightgowns last night. Matthew McConaughey was also at the party. It looks like he's been taking beauty tips from Zac Efron and Xtina.
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More useless information from my brain - I recall that the husband buys her clothes.
So why can't he get pants that fit?
That poor woman having to cuddle up to that bag of bones. ick.
~~ It's like looking into the eye of a duck. And sucking all the fluid from its beak. - Bernard & Manny on fine wine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTvfG3HSDYA&feature=related
What's up with her face? Is she trying to be sexy? I hate that stupid pout, it's fug, and people need to stop doing it to try and be hot. Those days are over, JLo.
I think MM's wife is soooooooooooo beautiful and perfect.
Submitted by speakit on September 26, 2008 - 2:26pm.
I have never seen or heard the word 'venal' until your post.
And you could not have used it more appropriately.
Mrs. K! I learned sumpin!
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Could be just a spell check error - venereal works just as well.
~~ It's like looking into the eye of a duck. And sucking all the fluid from its beak. - Bernard & Manny on fine wine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTvfG3HSDYA&feature=related
Submitted by Mel-Tang on September 26, 2008 - 3:14pm.
She probably told herself that she was going "green" by taking a horse and carriage.
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Hahahahahahahaha! I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that were true. They have NO idea how inappropriate their behavior is in this current economy. That would require having brains and an education. Off topic, what a cute avi.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on September 26, 2008 - 4:24pm.
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Hi! Mrs. K! *sock monkey hug and smooches* Yeah, doorman. You're right. I just keep thinking that the postmen wears those pants with the side stripes. It's the doorman. Silly me! *hitting little sock monkey head with box of dryer sheets*
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
He looks like he just crawled from his grave and stole this ginger dude from CSI his sunglasses.
And her.......don't even get me started!
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
God I hate this bitch!
GO AWAY Jello! You're head is bigger than your ass!
Fuck you!
Is that a Dolce and Gabbana dress that J.Hor has on? If it is, she's found a design team that brings out her true inner tackiness. Congrats, twat. Skeletor looks equally second-rate. That ring and bracelet! What an unbelievable pussy. They're good for laughs.
dear jello,
money can't buy class, talent, natural beauty or youth. just thought you should know.
http://www.myspace.com/midsummernitesdream
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on September 26, 2008 - 4:17pm.
Everything about this couple screams VENAL!!
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I have never seen or heard the word 'venal' until your post.
And you could not have used it more appropriately.
Mrs. K! I learned sumpin!
It's too bad JLo didn't have a vaginal delivery. Her ego might have shrunk if she'd shat all over herself during delivery.
Marc Anthony I can stand because the man has talent.
JLo however... she thinks she is some sort of fashion icon. Icons are people you talk about for YEARS, long after they are out of the spotlight. JLo, everyone forgets your big dumpy buttocks the minute you haven't forced them into a magazine.
If there were no stylists... this egomaniac would be back on the block she loves to remind us she hasn't forgotten about... hmmm.
--thanks awfully--
_Submitted by Miss Priss on September 26, 2008 - 4:51pm.
girl that song so fits my mood right now!
im sickie
but i cant have no dickey
cause my aunt is in townie
so ima eat a pot brownie
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Hekki on September 26, 2008 - 4:21pm.
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I'm wondering how many little minks got shocked & skinned to give her the exact shade, curl and length for those false eyelashes she's wearing?
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on September 26, 2008 - 1:14pm.
Marc is wearing those postman uniform pants...again. (with a designer label, of course)
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Postman? Huh.
I kinda see them more as doorman pants.
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This is the house that Jack built, y'all
Remember this house!
*looks around for baseball bat/large stick*
who wants to play Tonya Harding?
anyone?
She looks pretty there, though. Her legs are great. And I like the dress. Not slutty or sexy, but age appropriate. Cause she's no spring chicken, bock-bock.
Good boy Marc, Jlo might let you sleep in her bed tonight.tonight.and sing for you.nuthin like Jlove.
~~Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders/Making the Team 3-
October 4~~~
Ya know after christmas, when you take the tinsel off of the tree, and all the glittery pretty wrapping all wadded up, and throw it in the trash? Then you look at it and think, "wow, so much pretty being wasted sitting on top of disgusting filth."
This pic made me think of that.
i just realized I should have thrown a SQUID BRAINS!!! on the end of that rant...
Damn now I know why Kanye Caps's it..it feels damn good. It perfectly captures the loud voice in my brain.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey: "Everything about this couple screams VENAL!! "
You made my heart flutter, Socky. You nailed it.
What's with the hemorrhoid lips? And why can't she have a normal expression on her face, EVER? And while she looks pretty, she is a class-A CUNT. And no matter how thin she gets, she will always always always be a FUCKING HEIFER. That's my name for her, and that's what I hear in my head whenever I see her.
Submitted by LoLo on September 26, 2008 - 9:19am.
I wish that horsey would have played a round of smack that bitch up and taken his hair back when she got out of her fucking carriage.
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=)
Take my picture, Smack my bitch up!
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Can't wait to see Weezer Next Week~~~
If there was a God, he'd have made her step in a huge pile of horseshit.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
OH MY GOD!! FUCK OFF YOU DISGUSTING MEGALOMANIACS!! I HOPE A FUCKING LION MAULS YOU OR SOMETHING. IN THIS ECONOMIC CRISIS YOU DISGUSTING RICH SMUG FUCKS SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH PARADING AROUND IN GOLD CARRIAGES AND 3,000 DOLLAR OUTFITS WHILE THE REST OF US FEAR A DEPRESSION. FOR SHAME!
www.myspace.com/eniloractrzrtroll
Submitted by speakit on September 26, 2008 - 4:10pm.
Submitted by letinstar on September 26, 2008 - 4:09pm.
.vampires are sexy and these two certainly are not that...
and why is marc bothering to wear a belt? the belt is working OT to hold up those ugly pants...
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
Her lips look like a sphincter...hehehe that word is funny
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Can't wait to see Weezer Next Week~~~
I wish that horsey would have played a round of smack that bitch up and taken his hair back when she got out of her fucking carriage.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Know what!
Lolo and Stoney and Mel-T
TRUE
Bitch is wasting cash like "You People" are the poor schmucks we be rich! Fuck you!!!(JHo I mean)
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Can't wait to see Weezer Next Week~~~
what a Delusional bitch!
No matter how hard they try, they'll never be "creme de la creme"
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Everything about this couple screams VENAL!!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Holy crap, his legs are so scrawny from the side! He's like a pencil! And with his sunglasses on he looks like that dude on the matrix that hunts down Neo.
I think Mateo's gf is really cute. She looks friendly, which is rare for Hollywood-types. JLo looks like she wouldn't think twice about putting a hit on you. Cold-hearted bitch.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
NOT IMPRESSED, LMAO!! Glad Marc and I could help with your Halloween choices!! hahaha
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I think it pretty awesome that Matt has a beautiful regular ass woman by his side now. Coolness!!
And that dress, you know the one, you saw the pictures. That shit is fucking gross. I hope that shit was borrowed. Silver fucking trash bag.
Oh- suiting!
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."
Come back to the US and spend some of that fucking money on OUR economy, cheesedicks!
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
Submitted by Mel-Tang on September 26, 2008 - 3:10pm.
"ghostly used car salesman"
Halloween is a month away, I need costume ideas. LOL!
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
She probably told herself that she was going "green" by taking a horse and carriage.
Why do they look like the light drives them insane? She's always fucking squinting, and Marc wears glasses... at night. Who the fucking hell does that besides weirdo TommyG and KATEBOT?
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Life would be much better if JLo would just go away.
You know what, I'm not going to use her nickname from this post on. Fuck you, Jennifer Lopez. Fuck you.
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Carlos Mencia is a faux Mexican!
Marc is wearing those postman uniform pants...again. (with a designer label, of course)
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
ARRRRRRRRRR TARRRR TARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
HAAAA, JLo takes herself SOOO SERIOUSLY!!! I'm embarrassed FOR her.
What a pig. And her husband looks like a fucking heroin addict.
Yes, I'm pms-ing and hate everyone.
****************************Ding!
"Shut up and eat my asshole."
"There's gonna be SUCH great dick in Heaven..."
why is my cleaning lady riding a horse drawn carriage?
sorry i love it. she can do no wrong. great style...always dressed impeccable. FIERCE
Hello? We are the 'little people'. We're not fit to wipe their asses... okay we are, but they're only gonna pay us 6.50 an hour.
REVOLUTION!!!! REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I'm sorry, but she should be fucking EMBARASSED. That is fucking DISGUSTING considering our economy. You know, this is how the French Revolution started. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Ditto Lolo
http://www.modegreen.com/
Submitted by letinstar on September 26, 2008 - 4:09pm.
.vampires are sexy and these two certainly are not that...
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word.
I'd like to smack the smug off of his face. I'm starting to think his ego is bigger than hers.
The only words that come to mind when I see these two twats are:
Used up tranny hooker, and
ghostly used car salesman
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
I want a carriage pulled by four white horses :(
Jlo has ALWAYS been tacky I don't understand how she became a fashion icon.