ScarJo's Rack Is Off The Market
These two bitches didn't waste any time. Ryan Reynolds, 31, and ScarJo, 23, got married in some remote wilderness resort (WTF) outside of Vancouver last night. Remote wilderness resort?! Did the bitch wear berries in her hair and the bunny rabbits were her bridesmaids? Actually, I like that. I want a remote wilderness resort wedding.
Anyshotgunwedding, ScarJo's rep confirmed the wedding to UsWeekly. In addition to several dozen woodland creatures, guests included her mommy and brother.
The two became engaged last May after dating for about a year.
I bet that Ryan couldn't stop staring at ScarJo's magnificent chichis during the ceremony. He probably even said, "I Ryan, take you ScarJo's chichis to be...." Can you blame him? And ScarJo said, "I ScarJo, take you Ryan's six pack..."
What's with the rush wedding? She's knocked up, right? I'm getting excited just thinking about how big those titty balls are going to get if she's with child. She's going to knock out Salma Hayek's record!
And I just want to let ScarJo know that Ryan is thinking of Alanis Morissette when he fucks her. Okay, not really, but I thought I would throw Alanis a sugar cube or something.
P.S. - I give these whores 6-months tops. Sorry, but Ryan will never be ScarJo's true love...Obama.
Image: Fame
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Socky, "Uninvited" is a BRILLIANT song....and yes, with the orchestra behind her? I get chills....ok, I need to go change my siggie....
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when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists;
I never did anything to you man...but no matter what I try you beat me with your bitter lies...
-Fiona Apple "Limp"
Submitted by mike on September 28, 2008 - 11:49am.
Wonder if Alanis sang at the wedding?
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Her song "Uninvited" comes to mind. Loved her Grammy performance when she sang that song.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Diamond Dawg, Alanis wrote "You Oughta Know" YEARS before she knew Ryan existed.....lol
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when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists;
I never did anything to you man...but no matter what I try you beat me with your bitter lies...
-Fiona Apple "Limp"
Submitted by Regina on September 28, 2008 - 9:04am.
Cute picture. Congratulations to them.
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What's wrong with you?!?! This is a gossip site. No well-wishes allowed!!!
(j/k!!!!!!)
lol @ "over=share"
So Ryan's the dude Alanis sang about in "you oughtta know"?????
If I were scarjo i'd hire some extra security.
Cute picture. Congratulations to them.
I wonder if I could give less of a damn.
Wonder if Alanis sang at the wedding?
I'm waiting for Alanis to sing "Whatcha oughta know scarjo"
~~Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders/Making the Team 3-
October 4~~~
Submitted by DiamondDawg on September 28, 2008 - 11:24am.
A bit of an "Over-share"
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"Can I at least eat like a murderer? - Chris Rock
She's making a "sad puppy dog face" and he's staring at her boobs. yeah, this'll last.
PS I almost spit my coffee at the talk of him being a "nose flarer" when he speaks! Now I can put my finger on why he annoys me!
Meh, couldn't be more underwhelmed...
They're hot people individually, but, as a couple they're kind of blah...
*** "The eyes are the nipples of the face." ***
i still hope one day he pulls a clay aiken and comes out as gay...
i don't get what people see in her...
Ryan looks really bitchy in this pic. And no abs, just flabs.
Submitted by Hekki on September 28, 2008 - 8:25am.
Diamond Dawg: Receivers, HA HA HA! Kids are so funny!
Mr. Hekki and I do that, too. We have a whole arsenal of malapropisms. It's hard to remember NOT to say them around other people, because you look silly when you walk around calling people "bustards" or having "assidents".
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Lol @ "assidents"
One time I heard this guy on the radio say that Ellen Barkin's eyes were so wide apart it made her look like a hammerhead shark. But he didn't say "hammerhead" he said, "hammahay". So now me and Mr. DD say that, too. My husband is from the south and he says "hairicanes" instead of "hurricanes." So "hairicane" is now in the household lexicon.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on September 28, 2008 - 10:21am
I don't know Ryan Reynolds is not the greatest actor in the world (and neither is ScarJo), something tells me they should have each married someone far more talented becuase I'm sure in a few years time we'll be saying 'Ryan who? Oh yeah that guy from Van Widler'.
That picture looks like it sums up their entire relationship. Ryan seems like he's one of those annyoingly needy yet aloof types that always has to win. Is he a Virgo?
Diamond Dawg: Receivers, HA HA HA! Kids are so funny!
Mr. Hekki and I do that, too. We have a whole arsenal of malapropisms. It's hard to remember NOT to say them around other people, because you look silly when you walk around calling people "bustards" or having "assidents".
HOhansen and Alba are spiritual sisters.
They both posses a remarkable ability to form words with absolutely no congruent brain activity.
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Are we sure Xtina has not passed on and her final request was to be embalmed standing up holding a bottle of her nasty perfume?- DivasGone
Submitted by TT99 on September 28, 2008 - 8:22am.
MARRIED! AT 23! Scarlett you stupid, stupid ass! You dumb stupid, stupid, stupid ass! Don't you KNOW that your 20's are made for mindless forgetful sex with bouncers at clubs and married men and threesomes with midgets and fucking poets with dreads in the back of after hours spots in Brooklyn and getting oral from a skater boy in the back seat of a cab at 2 in the morning and mile high clubbing on the red eye and yada yada are you SERIOUS? 23? Marriage is for the supposedly for the rest of your life, and forever is a mighty long time. At least until you're like 32. Dumbass
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HOLY COW!!! THANKS FOR THE BIO. (insert snicker)
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 28, 2008 - 8:19am.
Maybe she woke up one day and realized what a catch she had and figured she'd better make it legal before he smartened up.
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Eggzackly. Being preggers would seal the deal, tho!
MARRIED! AT 23! Scarlett you stupid, stupid ass! You dumb stupid, stupid, stupid ass! Don't you KNOW that your 20's are made for mindless forgetful sex with bouncers at clubs and married men and threesomes with midgets and fucking poets with dreads in the back of after hours spots in Brooklyn and getting oral from a skater boy in the back seat of a cab at 2 in the morning and mile high clubbing on the red eye and yada yada are you SERIOUS? 23? Marriage is for the supposedly for the rest of your life, and forever is a mighty long time. At least until you're like 32. Dumbass.
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"Darkness makes me fumble for a key to a door that's wide open."
- The Police
Submitted by stake_spike on September 28, 2008 - 8:17am.
I have this feeling that she was probably pushed down the aisle or is in fact preggers. ScarJo seemed like an unassuming slut so the fact that she got married so quickly is odd, especially since she said she wouldn't rush down the aisle.
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I don't know. I think SJ is a calculating sl-t. Could it be, oops I got pregnant by the most gorgeous man around right now? Nothing like getting pregnant to help you make a life-long connection with someone. Even if they do get divorced, they'll forever be connected.
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 28, 2008 - 11:18am.
Thanks LCT
my budget and my kids pretty much stop me from seeing first runs, I collect used dvds.
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This movie wasn't that great. If I'm going to recommend any Ryan Reynolds movie it'd be Just Friends.
Submitted by stake_spike on September 28, 2008 - 11:17am.
I have this feeling that she was probably pushed down the aisle or is in fact preggers. ScarJo seemed like an unassuming slut so the fact that she got married so quickly is odd, especially since she said she wouldn't rush down the aisle.
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Maybe she woke up one day and realized what a catch she had and figured she'd better make it legal before he smartened up.
Thanks LCT
my budget and my kids pretty much stop me from seeing first runs, I collect used dvds.
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
I h8te it when MK posts a lousy thread then runs off to a 3-hour lunch or nap. Damn your eyes MK!
I have this feeling that she was probably pushed down the aisle or is in fact preggers. ScarJo seemed like an unassuming slut so the fact that she got married so quickly is odd, especially since she said she wouldn't rush down the aisle.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on September 28, 2008 - 11:14am.
YOur fortune say:
Is that a major decision? If so, then NO. No soup for lunch. You will regret it.
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Well, it was a choice of that, cereal, a sandwich, toast, chili, or hot dogs, so I guess it is a major decision. It's going to get alll oovverr eevverryytthhiinnngg!!
@PSL, sorry. Nope, don't have it on this puter..I'm about to jet in a few anyway. I know a ton of womenz who lurve Ryan. I couldn't even sit thru half of Just Friends or Defiitely Maybe when I was dragged to watch them..I want to like him, but I just have to look away. LOL Have a great day! Hope to catch up later!
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on September 28, 2008 - 8:11am.
We're in a mercury retrograde right now! Ahhhhh! Is it ok to decide to eat soup for lunch?
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YOur fortune say:
Is that a major decision? If so, then NO. No soup for lunch. You will regret it.
Submitted by Hekki on September 28, 2008 - 8:02am.
They both remind me of golden retrievers
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I knew a 10-year old who called them "Golden RECEIVERS"
It's been over 10 years since I knew that kid and my husband and I still call them Golden RECEIVERS!
I think i got married during a Mercury Retrograde. Its a never-ending disaster. 16 years this last june, er, JULY. But that was before I knew anything about asstrology.
We're in a mercury retrograde right now! Ahhhhh! Is it ok to decide to eat soup for lunch?
Nitty, I am on Yahoo, if you are......
Ryan is hot, but I don't like this coupling for some reason....and not because of jellusy...I am ok with Scarlett too.....just not together....hmmmm
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when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists;
I never did anything to you man...but no matter what I try you beat me with your bitter lies...
-Fiona Apple "Limp"
MK i just know you have a stash of pics in a folder called "the fug file" where you pull out the most funniest fug pictures when the time is right, LMAO
-=meow hiss purr=-
thanks for the confirmation PSL! LOL @ creemey.
During Mercury Retrograde, DO NOT: Get married, buy a house, start a new job, quit a job, buy or do anything MAJOR. It will either not work out or have to be done over again. MR happens about 3 times a year and last 3-4 weeks. Situations are particularly bad if you do something major very close to the start or end of MR.
I have two friends who got married two years ago on the last day of a MR. They're still married, but they are having a disastrous time of it. I can't even tell you the details i know about my friends that i should NOT know, but I know them because they're always telling on each other!
Submitted by christine the hoff on September 28, 2008 - 11:06am.
Meh. I know who she is, I've heard of him, what's he known for??
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DId you see the new Amityville Horror? His body is what he's known for.
http://atravesdelespejo.blogia.com/upload/Ryan%20Reynolds.jpg
Hey, PSL! *MuaH* Thanks for the Newman hwatness! Yeah, people's who's nostril's flare when they talk have skeeved me out since I was little. Had this creepy relative who's nose did that when they talked. *shudder*
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
Meh. I know who she is, I've heard of him, what's he known for??
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"wait! The lord is my shepherd but you're my ride home!"
DiamondDawg is right- NEVER start a relationship/get married during Mercury Retrograde. They are fucked.
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“every time they let her talk for more than four minutes, you actually start feeling sorry for her. It’s kind of like Kim Kardashian on DWTS. All that ass and can’t shake it.” - Chris Rock on Sarah Palin
They both remind me of golden retrievers: Shaggy blonde, benign and dumb as fuck.
wow that was quietly done.
Nitty, a Nose Flarer....heeheehee
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“every time they let her talk for more than four minutes, you actually start feeling sorry for her. It’s kind of like Kim Kardashian on DWTS. All that ass and can’t shake it.” - Chris Rock on Sarah Palin
Submitted by DiamondDawg on September 28, 2008 - 10:53am.
This thing isn't going to work out. They're got married during mercury retrograde. i think it might turn out to be a bloody disaster.
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Not to mention they hooked up, what, a month after he broke up with Alanis? Yeah, good luck with this one, Ryan.
Why Ryan? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
I like the pair of them separately but I don't get the couple. Definitely sounds like a shotgun wedding.
ah shit, DiamondDawg. I am surfing the net for merc retrograde stuff and took a break to check out dlisted.
This thing isn't going to work out. They're got married during mercury retrograde. i think it might turn out to be a bloody disaster.
Edited to add: When the heck did the Scarjo/Obama rumor start? I've been away for about week. Got link?
I wonder who the wedding singer was. No matter who it was, there's a 100 percent chance that he or she has more talent than ScarJo. Congrats anyway, though. On the magnificent rack, I mean.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I wonder if his nose flared when he said his vows. I can't watch him because he's a nose flarer when he talks. Nose flarer's skeer me.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
That's 2 hacks off the market: Dane Cook Lite, and Cancer Voice Birdseed Bag Boobs.
Am I bitter that she didn't choose me? Yes I am.
"...guests included her mommy and brother.
The two became engaged last May after dating for about a year."
that just cracked me up big time lol