An STD For Your Ears

Somebody actually let Wonky McValtrex back into the studio to record a new song. Whoever opened the door for her hates music and living things. Wonky debuted her newest skank tune on Ryan Seacrest's show on KIIS-FM this morning. It's called "My BFF" and it's dedicated to the leader of her mutant crab crotch army. They loves each other.

I shouldn't really say that this is Wonky's song, because it obviously belongs to Auto-Tune. Auto-Tune broke a fucking sweat and burned at least a million calories to make Wonky's tattered scab voice sound semi-decent. If Hannah Montana became a crackwhore hooker and was forced to record a song to get her next fix, it would sound like this. The best part of the song is robot lady saying "On Air with Ryan Seacrest" over and over again.

Click here to listen this mess after I gave it such a thrilling review.

Posted by: Michael K

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Paris Hilton • Truly Awful Music

Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:53pm.

Submitted by Maximum Big Surprise on September 30, 2008 - 3:16pm.

BFF??? How juvenile. What is she, in high school??
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This cunt never graduated from high school. Why bother? She has daddy's money.

Let's not forget on Larry King she claimed she (suddenly) has ADHD and really bad Claustrophobia. Which is why she got special treatment during her (vacation) incarceration in LA County lockup.

Claustrophobia must be a BITCH in all those night clubs and private planes.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:53pm.

I guess Red Lobster needed a new song to advertise Crabfest.

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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.

Submitted by hollywood_hypocrisy on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:52pm.

It was nice not having to see her and her future "Real Housewives of Orange County" weave for a while there.

Submitted by The C word on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:52pm.

Each download comes with a 'scrip for free Valtrex.

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It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.

Submitted by ChubbyWubby on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:52pm.

She might be in her 20's but her hands are in their 50's!!!! WTF must she do to those things???

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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Submitted by Luda on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:51pm.

foul hands. What is she - a farmer?

Submitted by NaNoop on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:51pm.

I think a slice of baloney between 2 stale pieces of bread would be more inspiring.
BIG eye roll at this crap.

Submitted by loozer on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:50pm.

Please stop letting blonde bimbos in the recording studios! No Paris, Brooke Hogan, Heidi, Jessica Simpson, etal.

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I used to be a swinger
Til you wrapped me
Round your finger,
Just like a yo-yo
Just like a yo-yo

Submitted by oklahoma on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:49pm.

Submitted by Maximum Big Surprise on September 30, 2008 - 3:16pm.
BFF??? How juvenile. What is she, in high school??

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*returns your BFF card* Weelll. I just never.. hmph!

Submitted by southpaw on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:48pm.

I seriously think she's a hermaphrodite or something!!

That song was fucking terrible! I couldn't listen for more than 30 seconds..
The interview is pathetic.

Submitted by sweetstickyriceball on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:48pm.

the weird thing is, as strange and hilarious as michael k's description is of this song, when i listened to it, it actually made sense. lol. it does sound like a song hannah montana would do to get her next jink fix.

Submitted by Two Drink Min on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:47pm.

Hmmm, does the video go little something like her in her bra and undies rubbing her Care Bear between her legs after having taken a Bukkake shower? Yeah, sounds about right.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656

Submitted by Albatross on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:47pm.

GAH! Save us from the MAN HANDS!

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Wig Wam Bam - wanna make you my man!

Submitted by speakit on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:47pm.

HAHA! I think Paris has been washing dishes for her dinner.

My mom thinks she's pretty. blech

Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:47pm.

Submitted by BelleBelle on September 30, 2008 - 3:10pm.

Man hands.

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That's too polite. Disease-ridden, racist, elitist, porno taped, tranny whore hands.

And I swear I don't mean that bitchy. >:)

Submitted by Maximum Big Surprise on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:46pm.

BFF??? How juvenile. What is she, in high school??

Submitted by LoLo on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:45pm.

_Submitted by suze on September 30, 2008 - 3:13pm.
Those can't be her hands.

She doesnt drink enough water or eat any healthy foods at all.

Bitch is dehydrated. Cum does not count as a food group or H2O. Sorry Paris, and no you cant suck a camels dick to get his extra water either, whore face bird beak bitch.

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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

Submitted by oklahoma on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:43pm.

That show comes on tonight, Paris has your BFF's dick.. I must watch it due to this person named Onch,, its a guy/girl.. You know I melt for those people like that!! Crossdressers,, Transgender,, Whatever.. !!

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Don't we make you Laugh??

Aren't we Fuckin Funny!!!?

Submitted by Kp on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:43pm.

Isnt this woman close to 30??

Submitted by suze on Tue, 09/30/2008 - 2:43pm.

Those can't be her hands.
Those hands look like the've actually done some sort of work.
Either that or charging stuff to Visa and performing BJs are aging to the hands.

Good Ginger, Good dog.