The World's Fattest Man Is Getting Married!
In case you haven't heard the gigantic news, Manuel Uribe is getting married!!! There's hope for us all!
Manuel, who was named the world's fattest dude back in 2006, announced that he will tie the roll with his girlfriend of four years Claudia Solis on October 26th in Monterrey, Mexico.
They haven't decided on a location, but Manuel will have to be towed through the streets on his bed, because he can't walk. It will be like a wedding parade! Only not.
Back in 2006 when Guinness declared him the chunkiest chunk who ever chunked, he weighed 1,230. Thanks to love and support from Claudia, he has lost 550 pounds. She probably snuck Fen-Phen into his Gansitos.
Manuel said that he will take only one bite of the wedding cake for pictures, but will stop there because of his diet. I think one bite to Manuel means the whole cake.
Congrats to Manuel and Claudia! I say we all put our pesos together and get Claudia some sexy lingerie for her wedding night! Sexy lingerie made out of crush-proof steel with a door in the crotch.
Thanks Lisa
• 
Party Time !!!!!!!!! All kinds of food....
I saw the documentary on him, and although I don't have much sympathy for the way he got into this condition (he blamed it on going to the US to find work and eating nothing but fast food), I admire his positive attitude and sweet nature. And his fiance said that their relationship went beyond physical attraction. I think it takes a good-hearted person to see through the blubber and love the person beneath. I admire that he's found the discipline and motivation to do something about his condition. Although I can't imagine what kind of "life" he had before.
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Life's too long, as the Lemming said.
--Jethro Tull
Submitted by angel_i on October 3, 2008 - 11:28pm.
Submitted by xplnyrslf on October 3, 2008 - 11:26pm.
Based on professional experience: the penis is inverted.
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"O fuck me! You're tryna tell me it gets worse?!?"
Heck yes! An extra body is needed, just to get the pendulum out of the way......
The honeymoon is going to need a few assistants.
smoooochessss who's mama's widdle chubbsy ubbbsy
I can't imagine any life or health insurance company would touch him, or that he's rollin in dough, so it must be love. Either that, or she's a control freak.
This pic just gives me the heebie-jeebies. I keep picturing little yeast muffins scurrying away from his fat folds.
*shivers*
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My little brother just paid a buck to see your underwear.
WIPE? You're assuming his monster turds are escaping his fat folds. He can't even get out of bed, so he must shit there. I don't see any diapers....
Wow--they used to find old twinkies in the folds--now it's decade-old turds. He probably has farts from years ago that have yet to break the surface.
And I think to myself...what a wonderful world...
Why marry someone who is too fat to work, fuck, sit on the toilet or leave their house? It's like marrying a 500 lb version of the plant from Little Shop of Horrors.
This remind me of the MadTv skit
for video dating services: Lowered Expectations.
These two should do a spot on that bit.
it's so fucking sad that you get media attention cos ur so fucking fat that you can't get out of bed.... WTF is that all about?
http://www.aamyko.com
HOT Men, HOT fun!
They haven't decided on the location? I can help them narrow it down. How about his hospital bed?
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by SkyBitch on October 4, 2008 - 4:30am.
***Submitted by Hysteria on October 3, 2008 - 9:34pm.
LOL!! How the hell can anyone even find is dick or asshole for chriz sakes?!
How does he WIPE HIS ASS??!
i don't even wanna know.
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WIPE? You're assuming his monster turds are escaping his fat folds. He can't even get out of bed, so he must shit there. I don't see any diapers....
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Yup...someone said earlier that's exactly what he does.
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
The dude has more folds than an origami art exhibit.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Sexy lingerie made out of crush-proof steel with a door in the crotch is just one of the things she needs. Another would be a crane to get him off her.
***Submitted by Hysteria on October 3, 2008 - 9:34pm.
LOL!! How the hell can anyone even find is dick or asshole for chriz sakes?!
How does he WIPE HIS ASS??!
i don't even wanna know.
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WIPE? You're assuming his monster turds are escaping his fat folds. He can't even get out of bed, so he must shit there. I don't see any diapers....
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My little brother just paid a buck to see your underwear.
MK you crazy ass bitch...haha, I LOVED GANSITOS when I was kid. I liked putting them in the fridge till they got nice and cold and then they taste even better.
***For those not in the know, Gansitos are these Mexican junk food cakes, like Twinkies. But they're covered in Chocolate and then they have like strawberry and cream filling.***
www.myspace.com/raul_rules
How in the hell are they going to consumate the marriage?
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
"Well, for every 35 pounds lost an inch of peen length is gained so if ever anyone had anything to be motivated about..."
Hmmm...so he's lost 550 so far, which means he should have gained a little under sixteen inches of penis already. If he goes from his current 680 down to a more manageable 200 pounds, he'll gain another 14 inches. So...he's up thirty inches of penis. All righty then.
Okay, okay...so if he wasn't an "outtie" at the start, we'll knock off two thirds of that gain. Still...former fatty will have ten inches and lots of lost time to make up.
But I say quit picking on him. I cannot imagine what would drive someone to this but the sheer misery of his life was and is certainly more than enough punishment for the crime of eating too much. C'mon...I'm a fat chick and I couldn't possibly eat enough to get that big. So, yes, he obviously had/has behavioral and food issues...but not everyone could get that big so you know there's some genetic factor here too.
Well, she's obviously a Christian lesbian then. That's all there is to it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Submitted by xplnyrslf on October 3, 2008 - 11:26pm.
Based on professional experience: the penis is inverted.
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O fuck me! You're tryna tell me it gets worse?!?
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Based on professional experience: the penis is inverted. Don't ask!!!
Elbow length gloves, extra help with the legs, a flashlight.....
She better find a way to get him really, really, excited.
Submitted by xxyxz on October 3, 2008 - 10:32pm.
aww. I'll be your date ♥
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Thanks xxyxz! SmOOches!
Hope you don't mind double dating with Angie and Brad. Angie likes to check out all of James Haven's ladies.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on October 3, 2008 - 9:34pm
aww. I'll be your date ♥
Submitted by applehead on October 3, 2008 - 10:25pm.
So true apple!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on October 3, 2008 - 9:34pm.
James Haven can't get a date on a Friday night, but this chubby chap can get a wife?
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You've got to look at the "quality" of this wife. Would you want her, or would you rather be home on a Friday night?
Kudos to him for losing 500 + pounds, and congrats on his marriage. I think he's a really sweet dude and all.
But I can't lie, if he lived with me there would be a sign that said "Please don't feed the fatty!" And oh yeah, I'd hit Lohan and Samro before touching this guy. Chocha over fat. Fish over pork. Titties over Tig Ole Bittays!! I'd even do a midget....
*hangs head in shame* I cannot do fat....
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Oh you mad cuz I'm stylin on you!
James Haven can't get a date on a Friday night, but this chubby chap can get a wife?
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Aunt Bea on October 3, 2008 - 5:17pm.
He HAS to stink
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LOL!! How the hell can anyone even find is dick or asshole for chriz sakes?!
How does he WIPE HIS ASS??!
i don't even wanna know.
And to think I've been beating myself up about indulging in Haagen Dazs.
I guess there really is someone for everyone.
Tristram...LOL...I was thinking the same thing!
She is definitely on Top!
There's still hope for me, then.
I wonder if after digging through the countless layers of flub, if she was able to differentiate his dick from just another of the hundreds of massive rancid boils covering his body? Pop a boil, blow a nugget, same diff. The results probably didn't look any different either.
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
why wouldn't he put on a shirt for a media photo?
I think one bite to Manuel means the whole cake.
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MK! You're fucking awful!!!! LOL!!!
Submitted by alcachofa_asesina on October 3, 2008 - 7:01pm.
Argh... Gansitos with Tecate...
I tend to eat Gansitos out at the local swap meet on Saturday mornings, but we're talking the Nevada desert, where it's 110 by 9 a.m. so Tecate works best for me as a beverage. Also, I get to stagger around and buy crap I don't need because I was tanked at the time. Between the sugar and the alcohol, it's allll goooood.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Oh my goodness.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Argh... Gansitos with Tecate... I can shove up like 10 on my mouth with a cold Coca-Cola. That's the most important lesson I learned from my father.
www.myspace.com/5dechocolatey1defresa
Submitted by sweetblueberrys... on October 3, 2008 - 6:03pm.
Gansitos is God's way of telling us he loves us Mexicans.. Jesus Marie they are the best and you get 3 for only 1.29! AHH! And when they are frozen.. YUMMERS!
Having had my share of Gansitos (washed down with Tecate) I'd have to agree. However, please stop throwing the wrappers in my front yard or I'm going to have to put a smackdown on y'all.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Gansito... que rico pastelito...
¡¡¡¡RECUÉRDAME!!!!
www.myspace.com/5dechocolatey1defresa
Gansito (Spanish "little goose"), is a Mexican snack cake, similar to Twinkies, with the exception that it has strawberry jelly along with the creamy filling and is covered in chocolate with tiny "topping" chocolate sprinkles. It was created in 1957 by Marinela (the pastries division of the breadmaking Bimbo brand.)
Bimbo brand? That give me pause. We used to have a Bimbo the birthday clown on the Uncle Bobby Show in ontario when I was a kid....
~~ Sorry TigerLilly, you Britney now.
I need a few drinks to wash down the image of these 2 going at it on their honeymoon.
I'm sorry if this has been already said, but if he got so fat that he couldn't walk, why would anyone BRING that much fucking food to him?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by M.E. on October 3, 2008 - 4:58pm.
For better or for worse, translate to through soiled bedding and softball sized diggle berries.
^^^^^^^^^^
* laughs * chokes * barfs * dies *
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
For the love of gansitos...and I mean thousands of them a day. You know...this feck knows he's fat and that's his fatty cake problem and choice. I do not buy genetics no more than not being able to keep your damned mouth off the twinkies.
AND, why hasn't Richard Simmons come to the rescue.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
This is what I get for saying there could never be anything grosser than a Verne Troyer sex tape.
Be warned: Never say never.
Gansitos are the shizzle dizzle.
Also, his fiance used to be married to a fattie who died of a heart attack.. so she must be a chubby chaser.. and I am pretty sure he is the guy who had poop oozing out of his pores.. and his feet had ato be massaged and they were soo... (throws up gansitos) Gross..
Gansitos is God's way of telling us he loves us Mexicans.. Jesus Marie they are the best and you get 3 for only 1.29! AHH! And when they are frozen.. YUMMERS!
I just came to the conclusion that fat people are rich..
Good for him, he is taking huge steps in a positive direction. And I have to add MONTERREY, N.L. MEXICO IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CITIES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'Not everyone understands house music, its a mind thing, its a soul thing.'
They already hired the Hubbell telescope for the wedding photos.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
On the documentary, the poor bastard that had to wash this dude was literally scrubbing him down like an elephant. A-fucking-mazing!