The World's Fattest Man Is Getting Married!
In case you haven't heard the gigantic news, Manuel Uribe is getting married!!! There's hope for us all!
Manuel, who was named the world's fattest dude back in 2006, announced that he will tie the roll with his girlfriend of four years Claudia Solis on October 26th in Monterrey, Mexico.
They haven't decided on a location, but Manuel will have to be towed through the streets on his bed, because he can't walk. It will be like a wedding parade! Only not.
Back in 2006 when Guinness declared him the chunkiest chunk who ever chunked, he weighed 1,230. Thanks to love and support from Claudia, he has lost 550 pounds. She probably snuck Fen-Phen into his Gansitos.
Manuel said that he will take only one bite of the wedding cake for pictures, but will stop there because of his diet. I think one bite to Manuel means the whole cake.
Congrats to Manuel and Claudia! I say we all put our pesos together and get Claudia some sexy lingerie for her wedding night! Sexy lingerie made out of crush-proof steel with a door in the crotch.
Thanks Lisa
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i bet he has a "wipe'n bench" upholstered in teri-cloth. or his new soul mate will wipe it. it's all so romantic. i wonder if they'll need to break down a wall so he can make it to the ceremony? she can sit on his hover-round as he drives her over the threshold. the first dance will be sooo cute. I'm already tearing up.
I saw a show about him. Despite his weight, he is healthy! His blood pressure and heart and everything is good. I couldn't believe it, but it's so!
Anystew...
Mazel tov, Fatso!
When I saw this guys documentary on TLC, she had left him cause her family didn't approve. At least I think that's what was said....Am I wrong?...
I guess she came to her ....senses?.....
Thanks Sandbitch, I just barfed all over my keyboard.
*grabbing paper towels*
Submitted by M.E. on October 3, 2008 - 4:41pm.
Ok, fine, glad they're happy. But UHM....how the fuck are they gonna do sexytimes? There is NO WAY that man has seen his penis for at least a decade.
M.E. She *reaches in* for it. That IS their sexay times.
There.
I wouldn't bring oreos into this thread if I was yous.
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.
Submitted by M.E. on October 3, 2008 - 4:41pm.
Ok, fine, glad they're happy. But UHM....how the fuck are they gonna do sexytimes?
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LOL! My mom and step-dad were both roly-poly and my step-sister and I would try to figure that shit out all the time when we were kids. Well, we'd ask each other and then get grossed out tryna figure it out, is more like it.
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Yeah, how does he clean his peen area? Think of the dickcheese... could rival Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee.
BARF!
Once you go fat, you'll never go back.
So *they* say.
All too yukko for me. If I wanted to have sex with an elephant, I would've been born one.
Ok, fine, glad they're happy. But UHM....how the fuck are they gonna do sexytimes? There is NO WAY that man has seen his penis for at least a decade.
Okay, seriously, is Dlisted trying to make us sick? First the kid and the dead animals post, now this. I can feel the bile rising up in my throat....
This should be good for the economy, because the caterers will have to hire an additional 150 employees.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
first of all, that third fat roll is totally hot. second his hands are totally cute and you know he can work out the oral. Just look at him, he's got the oral in the bag. It's obvious why she's marrying him.
Submitted by Stoney on October 3, 2008 - 4:36pm.
Exactly how desperate is this bitch?
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LMAO!
I think she's of the 'fixer' variety...she'll probably leave him when he reaches his goal weight.
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Bibbiti Bobbidi Boo
OMG even this guy's getting married?!?
I must have done something REALLY good in my past life to avoid all that, wow.
♥ ThreadKilla!
New and Improved!!! Lean Like a Chola
Happy Birthday, Amy
Exactly how desperate is this bitch?
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Eveyone is getting married.
The next story we read about them will be their pregnancy announcement. What the.....
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WTF are you lookin at????
The North American diet, full of over-processed foods, trans-fats, non-natural carbohydrates and salt, does cause obesity, here and everywhere it's being consumed. Unfortunately, that way of eating is conquering the world...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on October 3, 2008 - 4:32pm.
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Not truffles, TV. Cottage cheese.
Submitted by Green Is Good on October 3, 2008 - 4:29pm.
At least when she tries to find his dick, she'll probably find some truffles growing down there.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
Additional:
They remind of Karen Walker and her two tons of fun hubby Stan from "Will & Grace". Not that you ever saw Stan, but the descriptions are hilarious.
Sex with Stan was what Karen called being buried under an avalanche.
Submitted by applehead on October 3, 2008 - 4:26pm.
I know! I know a lot of people that say the same thing! I don't get it... (Real)american food is a lot more better for you... Tortillas are 90 calories each.
I do love me some tamales though
Oh, Christ. The thought of these two doing sexay times just entered my mind.
*Scrub* *Scrub* Scrub the brain pan.
Submitted by xxyxz on October 3, 2008 - 4:24pm.
This dude says that he became fat by eating american food!!!
He meant to say American food by the TON.
gansitos LMAO!!!
You're on fire today, MK
he weighed 1,230... Holy chit!..good for him losing weight and getting married.
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Submitted by jim on October 3, 2008 - 4:19pm.
AFTER YOU HIT THE 300 LBS. MARK DON'T YOU THINK IT IS TIME TO PUT DOWN THE FUCKING FOOD AND GO FOR A FUCKING WALK!!
DITTO! Even after people get to a certain weight and can't get out of bed, who keeps bringing them the food?
OMG I agree Halloween Oreos do taste better than the regular!
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So you’re talking someone that’s as stupid and talentless and messed up as Britney Spears cooking? Anthony Bourdain
This dude says that he became fat by eating american food!!!
hamburgers and fries! Mexican food is FULL of grease!
carnitas and maseca is ALL fat
o0h yea, i remember him, the guy who sat up in bed doing splits. how the fuck did they meet up? did she break into his house, and it was love at first sight??
-=meow hiss purr=-
Ew
He's getting married? I didn't even know that Betty Crocker was available.
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
love the tag "big ones"...
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if you don't want to be used, then don't be a tool...
LOL @ MelTang: doncha just love those?? I wait all year for them...they just taste better somehow..go figure.
"It will be like a wedding parade! or not"
Oh, MK my love for you burns with the heat of a thousand herpy infested blisters.
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.
Good for him! I just ate half a bag of Halloween Oreo's and can't think right now.
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RIMADYL KILLS
AFTER YOU HIT THE 300 LBS. MARK DON'T YOU THINK IT IS TIME TO PUT DOWN THE FUCKING FOOD AND GO FOR A FUCKING WALK!!
everyone deserves to be happy...hope she doesn't exploit him...
eh good for fatty
I wish his fat ass all the best.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Congrats Manuel. Uribe reminds me of Álvaro Uribe ugh.
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So you’re talking someone that’s as stupid and talentless and messed up as Britney Spears cooking? Anthony Bourdain
lmao at "She probably snuck Fen-Phen into his Gansitos"
Gansitos are the shit!!!
I wonder about their sexy times...
ummmm
getting married should NOT be this guy's first priority, how about staying alive and doing something about his weight.
she's going to be one young widow.
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.
I am so proud of this guy!! Congrats to Manuel!
If I'm addicted to anything, it's sparklers.
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All our lives we sweat and save. Building for a shallow grave. Must be something else we say. Somehow to defend this place.
"tie the roll" LOOOOL!
Good for him...I hope she treats him right.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Holy fuck, it seems like everyone is either getting married or having babies. Well congrats Manuel.
I was watching this on the news yesterday... that girlfriend is such an attention whore!!!!!!! ugh.. they guy does look sincere but she looks like a real bitch..
Congrats to the ummm.Happy couple