RDJ: Retired Compulsive Masturbator
If you were Robert Downey Jr., you would probably be obsessed with touching your own peen too. So it's no surprise that RDJ used to be a chronic tube tugger, but he has sworn off glazing his knuckles after spending so many years of his life having tender and warm moments with himself. Now that he's married, I guess he finds it unnecessary to get off at all, as happens with most enslaved.... I mean, married men. What a sad, sad thing.
He tells Now Magazine, "I was a compulsive, serial masturbator, but it was the best thing I could have been. I utilized that organ and rode it for everything it was worth."
He rode his own organ? What? The fuck? How does that work exactly? Does he give private lessons on how to ride your own again?
And what dude hasn't been obsessed with doing sexy times to themselves? When you learn the joys of driving stick shift, you really can't stop......until your peen goes raw and you start dry cumming.
RDJ goes on to say that he's outgrown the urge to purge his testicles and "It’s no longer a motivating factor for me. My union with Susan is sacred. Almost always, guys want to get laid. They have a girlfriend, they want to fuck her friend. But I’m not that guy."
This I don't understand. Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't squeeze the sausage every now and again. Shit. Most married bitches probably get more action from their five little skin friends than from the ho their married to.
RDJ, if you need help getting back on the jack off wagon, look me up in the Yellow Pages. Seriously. I'm listed in the Yellow Pages under "Hand Job Coaches."
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Sandbitch is that Zee as Annie?
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"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
Submitted by Sandbitch on October 6, 2008 - 10:40am.
Submitted by Aamyko. on October 6, 2008 - 10:34am.
Wanking is God's gift to humanity.
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If god didn't want men to masturbate, he would have given them shorter arms.
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Well, he must have been pissed off at Matthew McConaghey.
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Watch out...
You might get what you're after.
Sandbitch,
That deserved a siggie change!
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Q: Whats the useless bit of skin called on the end of the penis?
A: The man.
Submitted by Aamyko. on October 6, 2008 - 10:34am.
Wanking is God's gift to humanity.
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If god didn't want men to masturbate, he would have given them shorter arms.
I am slightly hungover, so you sluts may have to translate to the other sluts if I make no sense. Does this mean he has STOPPED masturbating? That makes no effing sense. Does that mean I need a support group or something? Jeez!
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I have too many T-Bag quotes, I'm just getting started. I'll have more on Tuesday
The green pillow has got to go. We need to see if the object of RDJ's addiction is worth it.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on October 6, 2008 - 10:24am.
I don't need to hear about anybody compulsively lovin' up on themselves. Not even RDJ.
Yes, thank you.
. . . . . .
Now relieve the pressure.
Wanking is God's gift to humanity.
http://www.aamyko.com
HOT Men, HOT fun!
Submitted by Clarisse on October 6, 2008 - 10:30am.
Sandbitch
If it wasn't for the penis, i'd have nothing to do wif em!
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Q: Whats the useless bit of skin called on the end of the penis?
A: The man.
hehehe
Ironman is no longer self propelled.
Seriously though, didn't need to add that to my collection of useless facts.
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Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Submitted by Sandbitch on October 6, 2008 - 10:29am.
See? Men are just filthy dirty creatures. Very few redeeming qualities
Well they do take the rubbish out. For RDJ I could overlook quite a lot.
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Submitted by TITS on October 5, 2008 - 3:36pm.
I'd sooner eviscerate myself with a butter knife than wish that existence on another human being.
LMFAO
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Well, how old is he now? Maybe he's getting some perspective and figuring out that there are other things besides busting a nut 24/7.
Or he could be losing testosterone.
Snowy!! I guess there's worse things to be addicted to than choking one's chicken. He oughta know!
*edited for spelling* ;-)
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Watch out...
You might get what you're after.
He is so damn hot...I will have the ovarian clenches all day just from this picture alone.
As far as the compulsive jacking goes, he who is without sin, raise a free hand. (thanks, SNL)
This pic is such a tease...show me the goods!
(see? women can be filty disgusting creatures too =P)
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
I don't know many men who aren't....
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Full is not heavy as empty; not nearly my love
Not nearly
-Fiona Apple "The First Taste"
Sandbitch
If it wasn't for the penis, i'd have nothing to do wif em!
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I just want to make sure that a million years from now I can still see you up close and still have things to say.
See? Men are just filthy dirty creatures. Very few redeeming qualities.
Talk about an 'addictive personality'
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Ummm... I don't need to hear about anybody compulsively lovin' up on themselves. Not even RDJ.
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Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, "Booty - mmm mmm." - Christopher Titus
um, move the goddam green pilow please, I'm getting an addiction too.
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.
Gross and WAYYYY too much information. Thanks RDJ for that visual this morning.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Methinks he's off the wagon again.
Nietzsche Family Circus:
http://www.losanjealous.com//nfc/
right IG? what isn't he addicted to?
****************************1/20/09
"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
He's an addicted little bugger, isn't he?
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Watch out...
You might get what you're after.