Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Once again, Rojo Caliente, The Empress of Lucite and Chicken Cutlets have been robbed! Esquire named Halle Berry as the sexiest sexy sex piece who ever sexed. Or something like that. Halle recreated one of Bill Clinton's Esquire covers, but did it without a shirt and pants. She also looks like she's ready for a pap smear.
On Esquire's website, A few writers pretending to be Halle has written a long ass "acceptance speech." Seriously, it's long as fuck. Click here to read that shit. She talks about orgasms and what she finds sexy. Halle finds spaghetti sexy! She writes, "To me, spaghetti is sexy, especially when it's served off the tips of a man's fingers. I like that." Spaghetti off of a man's fingers? Don't the noodles slide off onto the floor and shit? And doesn't some of the delicious sauce get stuck in his nails? No thanks.
Yes, we already know that Halle is gorgeous and that her vagina probably smells like rose petals, but do we need to be reminded about this time after time? I feel like the same broads are always named the "sexiest" or "most beautiful." If it isn't Halle, it's Charlize, MiserAlba or Saint Angie Jo. Can't they throw somebody else a bone? Chicken Cutlets is just sitting there, waiting. Esquire can even change the title to the "Sexiest Pair of Chicken Cutlets Alive."
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She's definitely gorgeous, but I don't know about sexy. She's too dull.
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If I have an addiction to anything, it's sparklers. Round come 4th of July, you're gonna find me taking sparklers off a perp, giving him a ticket, and then I'm gonna go in my backyard with my cats and we
Submitted by LoLo on October 8, 2008 - 9:49am.
Rigatoni is so sensual when served with a mans big toe.
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Bwahahaha! Especially when it's served with special toe jam sauce.
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Todo el rato que está enojado, pierde de estar contento.
Submitted by Clarisse on October 8, 2008 - 9:53am
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS!!!! Great avie....
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Love me or hate me
It's still an obsession
Love me or hate me
That is the question
And if you love me then 'thank you'
And if you hate me then 'f--- you'
Submitted by snowpiece on October 8, 2008 - 9:51am.
Sowwy Snow Snow!
I know some ho just walked in here and i was giggleing and tryingto fix me bra strap and i think she thought i was pleasuring myself.
Im sure Ill get a memo later.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Snowy
Right? Lolo's got me LOLing too over here. These grouches I work with are giving me the evil eye. I tell them to save it for Halloween.
Rigatoni. LMAO
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We're fucked
Sexiest Woman Alive, 2008
Really? I mean, she is attractive, but IMO, Gabrielle Union out-sexies Halle hands down.
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"FFS millions of people eat sushi!!!!
Why eat bait?"
-Mrs Kravitz
BOO!!
When Bill did the pose he had his pants and a shirt on, bitch.
There's something off about Halle. I bet she's a real mean bitch at home.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
I think abandoned couch with its legs spread open would have been much sexier.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Lolo seriously STOP IT, I am LOLing too damn much this am and I'm making a spectacle
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"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
Submitted by Tristram on October 8, 2008 - 9:44am.
I thought she was a feminist?
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LOL!
Please don't tell me that this woman has tried to pass herself off as a feminist!
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
gorgeous but she puts me to sleep.
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My dad always told me the more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks - Billy "Bloody Genius" Ray Cyrus
that vibration you feel is from the roar of a thousand million brangaloonies crying.
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But I've got to say. You should look into getting a life too "Christine the Hoff". You're another one thats always on here wasting your life away.
Rigatoni is so sensual when served with a mans big toe.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Only a spoiled celebrity could waffle on about themselves like that.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Halle also was misquoted on her food choices. She really said, "To me, spaghetti is sexy, especially when it's served off a man's tip."
. . . . . .
Now relieve the pressure.
This cover would have been a lot classier and sexier if she was wearing an actual suit instead of a fucking cliched men's blazer with no shirt underneath and no pants. This look is so tired and not particularly sexy.
P.S. I always come close to puking when crazy celebs start telling mags what they find "sexy". Spaghetti? Their answers are always so desperate.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
I know you're watching over us, Pap. I love you, I miss you already.
She's beautiful but oh, so fucking boring. I have no interest in what this woman has to say.
She looks fab in those pics. Thank God, Halle got it & not some hoe like Angie.
~♥~Happiness resides not in posessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul. ~ Democritus~♥~
My Last.fm
http://www.last.fm/user/SpiritDreaming
_Submitted by snowpiece on October 8, 2008 - 9:45am.
HA HA HA!!!!!
To me the sexiest thing is when Sketti Cat does the tango on my sketti o's!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Sitting with her legs spread, with the tie pointing right at her va-jay-jay. Now that just screams Class.
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If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home!
Halle was misquoted: she really said " "To me, SPAGHETTI CAT is sexy, especially when it's served off the tips of a man's fingers. I like that."
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"This young lady here in the green shirt she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated. She ain't dancing around today."
I thought she was a feminist?
. . . . . .
Now relieve the pressure.
ISMU, I agree about the short hair, too. She's really pretty, but I get the feeling she is batshit crazy. Like in a Sharon Stone sort of way. lol
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RIMADYL KILLS
Hahahahahah Angeloonie didn't get the vote!
fuck you hallie and your sexxxy self! This bitch just had a baby!!! BITCH
She's super hot. There was prob. some photoshop done here, but still...hot
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We're fucked
I agree ISMU. Her big hair makes her head look too small.
LMAO MK @ ready for a pap smear!
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Todo el rato que está enojado, pierde de estar contento.
Yeah she's sexy, but she'll always be "Queenie" to me.
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Glamour died with Heddy Lamar.
ISMU, ITA about the short hair. Shit, if I looked like her I wouldn't be able to step away from the mirror.
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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"
If she's so sexy, why did Esquire photoshop the baby fat off of her? I know many men who would have taken Halle as she was being wheeled out of the delivery room.
"Washington Insider"..."take on my own party" ... "bipartisan"..."joe six pack"..."hockey mom"... "Marverick!"
Yes she is pretty but ive seen all this shit before in the 90's.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I wish she'd go back to rocking the shit out of short hair.
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Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, "Booty - mmm mmm." - Christopher Titus
ño!!!!!!!!! Sexy mamma! She looks H.O.T.!!!!!
(crazy and all)
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Yes she's sexy but I'd rather be sane. So glad she didn't suffer from PPD or did she????
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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