Dildo For Ransom
Couples get into fights for all sorts of stupid reasons. I once got into a major slap fight with an ex-boyfriend because during sexy times the peen accidentally poked the outer no-no hole area. It felt like I got knuckle punched in the starfish and I'm not into that violent shit! I'm sure Michelle Rodriguez and her "roommate" got into a fight for very similar reasons.
Rush & Molloy reports that at the Mayfair Hotel in Coconut Grove, FL on Sunday morning, MRod woke up guests by banging on her hotel door and screaming at her lady friend.
One guest said, "I woke up Sunday morning to the sounds of two women yelling, and one of them was smashing the door knocker very loudly. I peeked out and saw it was [Rodriguez]. She's screaming, 'Open up, let me in, bitch!' If you don't open up, you're not getting your [pleasure toy] back."
And with that, the door opened. Lezzies love their [pleasure toys]!
I'm going to assume that the [pleasure toy] they're talking about is a dildo. But it could be a vibrator, strap-on, chainsaw or whatever the hell lezzies use to do each other with. If MRod was outside of the room, where was the [pleasure toy]? It was up her chocha, right?
MRod is my kind of angry lezzie. I can't even call her a gayelle, because she isn't. Bitch is a straight-up Lezzzie. I threw in an extra "z," because that's how hardcore she is. I bet you that when her partner in pussy finally let her inside the room, MRod really gave it to the bitch with the help of her [pleasure toy].
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*hhhmmmmmphhhhh*
Chill SB!!! Chill sister! Homie don't play that game! If that film would have sucked, I would have shredded him, believe that! But it didn't suck and he gets props! You're just pissed from my digital orgie with Clarisse and christine! Admit it!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
And James Haven, one more thing. I know you endure a lot of abuse here concerning your sister and I feel for you. My oldest and dearest friend, Douglass Lodmell, runs a charity called World Children's Relief
http://www.worldchildrensrelief.org/wp/
that builds schools and infra structure for children and orphans throughout the world and it is a worthy deed and I am proud to call him a friend. In my book, anyone who brings notice to the plight of orphans and children is a good person in my book! And I like her films too. As for James Haven, I look toward to your coming endeavors and I wish you much success! Keep up the Good Work!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
I mean *Uncle James*
Submitted by Sandbitch on October 9, 2008 - 12:20am.
James Haven, do you think Dr Destructo might be trying to charm your pants off?
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If the good Dr. is a lady doc, bring it on!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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James Haven, do you think Dr Destructo might be trying to charm your pants off?
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 9, 2008 - 12:13am.
Good night sweets!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by RichBitch on October 9, 2008 - 12:08am.
Lesbians are just so dramatic!
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You are so right RichBitch! Over the summer James Haven went on a retreat with Chastity. Well the veggie of the day was broccoli. Chas HATES broccoli. Says it gives her gas. Nasty!
Anyhoo, Chas asked for corn. The cook said "Corn is not a vegetable" and Chas would have to eat what the rest of us were eating.
Before you could say: "Katie's a beard" All hell broke loose! Chas ripped off the cooks hairnet, threw her down on the floor and began choking her!
James Haven and two burly monks grabbed Chas kicking and screaming for corn! The entire room started chanting for corn (they all thought Chas wanted the band Korn)! It was anarchy!
It took James Haven two hours to calm down Chas, control the room, put a call into Korn to perform, and fix the cooks hairnet.
So yes, Lesbians do love drama and corn!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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No, James Haven, thank you! That was well worth my 12+ minutes to watch! And I'll watch it again! I hit the 5th star on the right too. My apologies for my roughshod critique, as I am a bit weary from helping someone move their house around! 'Critic' will never be on my resume. But that was well done and you more than deserve the compliments and love you get here! I'm just happy you got my message! Congratulations for your awards and they were well deserved! Look forward to seeing you more on the screen or stage! Peace!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
*blows kiss at Mr. Haven: good night ;D
Submitted by Dr. Destructo on October 8, 2008 - 11:52pm.
Why thank you Dr. *bows*
Every now and then James Haven gets to show off his acting chops. So glad you enjoyed it!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Lesbians are just so dramatic!
Submitted by bambam on October 8, 2008 - 11:59pm.
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a dikespike?
She doesn't have much in the tittay dept. I thought that was your thang.
Damn that ho looks hot as shit. Is there a male equivalent to a fag hag, a guy who's attracted to lesbians? I think I got that problem but I'm a dumbass cause I can never tell right away.
OT: I'm sure there's a whole lot of interesting reading somewhere on MR's psyche evals, as she has a large olden warship with all of its' cannons rolling around loose in her head, otherwise whatever...
Off: James Haven-okay call me a lazy slug, but I finally clicked on your link and watched your Rent-A-Person film............verdict, drum roll......I damn sure as hell enjoyed it thoroughly!!!! It was GREAT and you were perfect in that roll! And let me preface this a little, as maybe it have bring more meaning. When I clicked on and saw it was musical in nature, I almost clicked off. I am just not into musicals, despite having seen some of the biggies and liking them, but it's just a style I normally avoid at all costs now. And also, a good friend and his wife tried playing Rent and other musicals at parties and I blew my last fuse. But as I started watching your 'Rent', my hand quickly moved away from the pause button. I was quickly engaged and watched the whole thing, non-stop! Not only did I enjoy it, but my black shriveled heart can't find a single thing to complain about! (rats, foiled again!) Well you won over another fan today that would be a tough sale normally! Congrats on selling the ice machine to Frosty the Coldman! Good Job bro, and I look forward to more of James Haven's work! You earned your mint today!
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” - H.L. Mencken
Not that I want this entitled raging drunk to keep getting gigs, but the thought of a class full of guidos and club trolls high-fiving her yelling "YO, MITCH, HOW'S IT HANGING" is irresistible.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on October 8, 2008 - 11:12pm.
*hug*
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You should only post on Farrah Fawcett threads, because you're as funny as anal cancer.
She could teach the average hetero man how to be a baller. The Learning Annex needs to hook her up.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on October 8, 2008 - 11:12pm.
JH,
Rattling my car keys...I be there in two days...LOL.
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James Haven is sure Marky Mark won't mind he's always up for some hot babes!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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I'm sure James Haven will have no trouble finding lots of TITS in LA... but not this pair. A little further north baby. Right coast though.
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user@fxnetworks.com
fx network contact aka the assholes that cancelled The Riches
ok good night kids. Nice to meet you guys. Thanks for chatting.
JH,
Rattling my car keys...I be there in two days...LOL.
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Submitted by TITS on October 8, 2008 - 11:06pm.
James Haven moves around so much looking after that family that he's likely been in any number of our neighbourhoods.
Where is James Haven going to be on Friday night?
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Marky Mark Wahlberg needs a "guys night out" so James Haven is (hopefully) heading to LA for some fun! Anywhere near LA, TITS? we can hook up!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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So, I only know this from recent experience....in some of the hotel rooms in Europe, you have to place your hotel room key (aka the credit card thingy)in a "main switch" near the door to operate ALL of the lights in the room, thus not allowing you to waste electricity all day by leaving lights on. So hubby and I had an argument one evening, and not knowing this, I grabbed the room key from the "main switch" and went to the bar....leaving him PISSED...AND in the dark. Just an FYI....
"i felt like I got knuckle punched in the starfish and I'm not into that violent shit!" *snort*
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i will pineapple slap your ascot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WtHRMtftOs
James Haven moves around so much looking after that family that he's likely been in any number of our neighbourhoods.
Where is James Haven going to be on Friday night?
~~
user@fxnetworks.com
fx network contact aka the assholes that cancelled The Riches
Submitted by Shaniquanaynay on October 8, 2008 - 11:02pm.
I love that feeling.
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I miss that feeling. Lucky you. ;)
If only James Haven, if only....perhaps one day we'll meet and have the perfect bliss that's due to us...until that day, I shall gaze into your dazed eyes, dream about kissing your soft, billowy lips....ah, heaven...
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
The way they smell. I still get that tickle in my stomach when he kisses or touches me. I love that feeling.
Submitted by cadebra1961 on October 8, 2008 - 10:55pm.
..oooh James Haven, will you have my baby, please? I mean, can I have your baby? Imagine the hotness we could produce, Brangelina's brats couldn't even come close...I better stop now.
xoxoxo
Submitted by DebFrmHell on October 8, 2008 - 10:51pm.
James Haven,
If you go lessie I WANT TO BE YOUR (old)GIRL!
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Why can't you Bitches live in James Haven's neighborhood?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Shaniquanaynay on October 8, 2008 - 10:53pm.
But nothing compares to flesh on flesh contact.
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The heat of their breath. Tasting them. Feeling the weight of their body.
*sigh... whimper*
One night with James Haven and they wouldn't need no toys! James Haven don't judge but why would you want to kiss Michele Rodriquez when you could have James Haven?
I kissed James Haven and I liked it
The taste of his MaryKay lipstick
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on October 8, 2008 - 10:46pm.
..oooh James Haven, will you have my baby, please? I mean, can I have your baby? Imagine the hotness we could produce, Brangelina's brats couldn't even come close...I better stop now.
xoxoxo
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
There are pleasures in both. But nothing compares to flesh on flesh contact. Men are amazing. Toys are enhancements not replacements
Aquarius: $49.95-$99.95 on Shoperotic.com.
http://store.nexternal.com/shared/StoreFront/default.asp?CS=shope2&Store...
I swear to all that is sacred I only know this 'cause it's on at 3 a.m. when I can't sleep.
. . . . . .
Now relieve the pressure.
Submitted by Shaniquanaynay on October 8, 2008 - 10:47pm.
So... once you go rabbit you never go back?
I pity the man that arrives on the scene after the rabbit has been there doin its.. thing.
Can you imagine that interview? Job? check Clean? check Multiple Heads? No Rotating Beads? uh Always Hard? whimper.... skulks out.
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user@fxnetworks.com
fx network contact aka the assholes that cancelled The Riches
Debfrmhell: Did you lose your baby? :(
James Haven,
If you go lessie I WANT TO BE YOUR (old)GIRL!
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Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
Okay, what the hell? How can you get accustomed to something that plunges, swivels, rotates, etc. and then still be pleased by peen?
I ♥ peen. :P
Yes, it is quite a multitasker... about 20 things going on at once. Not that I know from experience or anything... *runs to Bacall thread*
Don't be shy TITS. especially with a name like TITS. Okay, so they have heads that swivle and plunge, beads around it that rotate and stimulate, as well as the rabbit attachment that is amazing. Was that TMI?
Submitted by aquarius on October 8, 2008 - 10:08pm.
But love is worth it.
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I sure hope so. :) Thanx.
OnTopic: Who in the hell is she?
Submitted by cadebra1961 on October 8, 2008 - 10:40pm.
James Haven is a hotter woman the MRod could ever be. Those lips, those eyes...mmmmm....James Haven...
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Why thank you snookums...wait...woman?! James Haven does agree that he has finely chiseled features, smoothe as a babies bottom, and plump kissable lips...ok...so true...James Haven does make a hot woman. But don't tell that to Eddie Murphy!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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$150?!?! what kind of tricks exactly?
no don't answer.
I wonder what the people on the factory line think about these things. Are they tested?
no don't answer.
just forget i was even here.
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user@fxnetworks.com
fx network contact aka the assholes that cancelled The Riches
Michelle Rodriguez eats fish on Fridays like all good Catholics.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
James Haven is a hotter woman the MRod could ever be. Those lips, those eyes...mmmmm....James Haven...
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Submitted by Shaniquanaynay on October 8, 2008 - 10:35pm.
Yeah and that damn Rabbit is $150! I have had to go to about 20 "fantasy parties" hosted by one of my friends because she was too cheap to pony up for one herself and she got 3 "fantasy bucks" for every $10 we spent. Damn pyramid schemes! Those parties are fun though.
Submitted by angel_i on October 8, 2008 - 8:39pm.
Hey! I was gonna say that!
I was gonna write the hook in "Smoke on the Water."
. . . . . .
Now relieve the pressure.
Submitted by madam s. on October 8, 2008 - 9:58pm.
you haven't been shopping recently. Or at least what I'm looking at. The asking price is $80 for a beaver dildo with tricks
Nasty