That Poor Horsey

Katie Price covered up her titty balls in some kind of "Ringling Bros. gone whorey" costume to perform in the annual ~~Whore~~ Horse of the Year Show today. Unfortunately, Harvey wasn't in the audience. He was too busy working on his rap album or something.

Katie and her horse "Jordan's Glamour Girl" performed some slutty dressage routine for the audience. Surprisingly, the routine didn't involve Katie taking off her top and shaking it for the crowd.

However, guess what one of the songs she performed to was? No, it wasn't one of her own songs. Worse. Color Me Badd's "I Wanna Sex U Up." Why in Equus hell did she choose that shit? This might sound prudish, but if you're rubbing your pussy bone against a horse and you're known for being a big fat skank, maybe that's not the best song choice.

This shit reminds me of the time I went to my little cousin's dance recital and watched a bunch of 6-year-olds bust it to "Smack My Bitch Up."

Wenn

Submitted by Mr. President on Sun, 10/12/2008 - 9:13am.

The poor horse probably has a bad skin infection where this skank was sitting. HAHA, when you type in the word "skank" it shows up as a spelling error.

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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Submitted by bhk on Sun, 10/12/2008 - 12:27am.

Yeah...I'd love to see that horse throw her off. I would if I were her. That is NOT riding...

This is riding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKQgTiqhPbw

Submitted by FrappBloat on Sat, 10/11/2008 - 6:33am.

Yay! Go Katie! I think she looks really good and what she's doing is very hard, she's doing really well there.

Submitted by justaguest on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 9:27pm.

Nice horse. Poor choice in her attire, it should not take away from the horse.

Submitted by dementa on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 6:30pm.

Poor horse, boldly going where thousands of men have gone before...

Submitted by Reluctant Whore on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 6:20pm.

Well, that's a better choice than "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts". Less gimmicky, anyway.

www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore

Submitted by rook on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 6:17pm.

she played i wanna sex you up during dressage? i don't know whether to smack her or shake her hand, that's one of the tackiest, most awful things i've ever heard.

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 5:48pm.

Dressage can be such an elegant sport but she slutted it up ... or down as the case may be!

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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Michaela on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 5:42pm.

I really just cannot hate her but I hate myself for saying that. I watched her stupid fucking show and was soo engrossed in it. I will NEVER forget the Barbie wedding as long as I live. I admire her for being super tacky and letting Mattel basically be her wedding planner!!

And Peter Andre is a mess...

Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 5:12pm.

What the hell kind of goddamn skirt is in that ad for vintage inspired clothing?!

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Submitted by Frances Farmer on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 5:10pm.

The horse is gorgeous. Did she steal that hat from a Charles Dickens after school special?

Submitted by day shift stripper on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 5:09pm.

Harvey and Latarian Milton should collaborate on a single. They could call it "Fuck You (Hood Rat Things)".

☠

"With every 5th Valtrex refill, you get your very own Vh1 reality show!" -MK

http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony

Submitted by putsomestankonit on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 5:01pm.

The Prodigy, the ex was a session drummer on a few songs for their first album. He drummed on Fire Starter and Breathe and only got paid once and didn't make a royalty deal because no one thought the album would sell. Stupid fucker ha ha!

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When Obama wins, please let someone bust out "Paint the Whitehouse Black" during his acceptance speech. Please God, Please!

Submitted by belle on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:56pm.

Hey, I love Smack My Bitch Up!

I bet when she pulled her white pants off, the insides were stained orange from her fake tan. And stained with other colors from other things, too, but I won't go there...

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:49pm.

luckycharms, I used to think she was pretty. I do not like her new nose and lips. She was prettier before, IMO.

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clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right
here I am, stuck in the middle with you

Submitted by luckycharms on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:45pm.

As much as I try to hate on her, I can't. She is a very attractive woman, and has made an absolute fortune and brilliantly marketed herself from absolutely nothing into something that is still nothing. Brilliant! Why can't something like that happen to me?

Submitted by coiled-n-hissing on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:41pm.

This has me so confused. Never did I equate this dumb skeeze with such a disciplined art like dressage. She gained a few points in my book.
Takes hours and hours and hours to master this. Not for faint of heart.

Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:38pm.

this horse should buck jordan off it's back and then trot on her to make sure she stays down...
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i will pineapple slap your ascot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WtHRMtftOs

Submitted by Salem13 on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:36pm.

Oh shit I remember when "Smack My Bitch Up" was the most scandalous shit on MTV good fuckin times!

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So you’re talking someone that’s as stupid and talentless and messed up as Britney Spears cooking? Anthony Bourdain

Submitted by Auntie Mame on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:35pm.

Run, horsey, run! Buck that big tittied bat off your back!

"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."

Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:34pm.

And I'm BACK!

"This might sound prudish, but if you're rubbing your pussy bone against a horse and you're known for being a big fat skank, maybe that's not the best song choice."

ROFLMAO!!!

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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"

Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:26pm.

DEA!
Thanks!!!

I am always amazed when i watch horses perform "tempi changes"! It goes against the very nature of the horses gate and requires unbelievable concentration and rider focus, but if you don't know what you're lookin for, you miss it!

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Orgasms make the world go around. -MK

I'm more of a whip it in, whip it out and wipe it kinda bloke! -El B.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:21pm.

Well, he's using protection, no bareback for him, huh? ugh.

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Amen, Motherfucker.

Submitted by Euphoria on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:19pm.

Submitted by christine the hoff
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is a beautiful beast isn't he? I hope the sores on his back heal after Jordan gets off him.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:15pm.

Submitted by Euphoria on October 10, 2008 - 4:34pm.
I'm surprised she didn't fuck the horse for the crowd, like the donkey shows down in Mexico.

LOOK at the horse! he's so handsome, he doesn't have to fuck skanks. LOL!!!!

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Amen, Motherfucker.

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:12pm.

Submitted by Clarisse on October 10, 2008 - 4:25pm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPJGEzI3aIc

That was bloody fantastic! Thanks!

~♥~One thing I’ve learned when you get tore up...
Don’t drive your car
Don’t start no stuff in no bar
Hell I wouldn’t tell anybody where you are
When you’re all jacked up ~ GW "AJU"~♥~
My Last.fm
http://www.last.fm/user/SpiritDreaming

Submitted by captainobvious22 on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:12pm.

I have never seen her with soooo many clothes on - it's really not a good look for her.

http://www.celebgirlz.com

Submitted by Euphoria on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 4:04pm.

I'm surprised she didn't fuck the horse for the crowd, like the donkey shows down in Mexico.

Submitted by Regina on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:57pm.

I believe it'll win Horse of the Year. And when I say 'it' I mean Jordan.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:57pm.

I'd buy Harvey's rap album.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).

Submitted by Kp on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:56pm.

oh jordan, always the pinnacle of great taste.

Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:55pm.

I can take or leave Jordan, but i'll give credit where credit is due...It takes AMAZING discipline and strength to control a dressage horse!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPJGEzI3aIc

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Orgasms make the world go around. -MK

I'm more of a whip it in, whip it out and wipe it kinda bloke! -El B.

Submitted by Trina on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:55pm.

Submitted by Sweetas on October 10, 2008 - 4:13pm.
Horse: "My back burns."

Ha Ha. Oh Sweetas, you're precious.
Poor horse probably has the herpes now.

*There is NO difference between Palin and a pitbull.*

Submitted by FatMartha on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:53pm.

Won't lie - she looks like she knows what she's doing. But what the fucking hell is she doing, performing dressage to COLOR ME BADD???? That's just laughable. Really. The costume isn't that bad, really - it's kind of a slightly slutty version of the costumes the Lippizzaner riders wear. Other than that she's a tard.
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I'm trippin' ballz, man.

Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:53pm.

She's adecent rider but...she's just so trashy.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:51pm.

what a lovely horse! he's wonderful
and yeah, she knows what she's doing up there.

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Amen, Motherfucker.

Submitted by yoko on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:50pm.

She actually looks like a respectable rider. Not Olympic level. But decent nonetheless.

Submitted by TOPANGA on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:49pm.

"I Wanna Sex You Up?" She could have least gone with All 4 One's "I Swear." Now, that's the jam,lol

*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****

Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:48pm.

I bet she rides her gay husband like that.

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A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. (James Beard)

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:48pm.

I don't like close-ups of her face. She has sooo much make-up on that it makes me itch to look at her.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?

Submitted by DeeDee on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:47pm.

It looks like she's thrusting in the main pic. Makes me very uncomfortable.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Todo el rato que está enojado, pierde de estar contento.

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:47pm.

She is very popular in Britain.
I don't get it.

Eh, it's all been downhill for them since we won that war.

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You know what really gridjes me? Not that he broke up with me, but that he acted like it was MY fault!

Submitted by unwaveringstare on Fri, 10/10/2008 - 3:46pm.

at my school there was this big school summer party and a group of 12 year olds did a dance to some song with the line "wait till you see my dick, bitch" repeated over and over again.. that was kind of awkward..