The World's Fattest Man Got Married!
Manuel Uribe gained another 100+ pounds in Mexico yesterday after marrying his 38-year-old girlfriend Claudia Solis!!
Manuel, who hasn't left his bed in 6 years, was carried to his wedding on a flatbed truck. His custom-made bed was decorated with a canopy, flowers and gold-trimmed bows. Patrol cars escorted him and the flatbed truck to the banquet hall. I'm jealous. I want to be carried everywhere on my bed. He's like Cleofatra being carried through the streets of Mexico, waving to his subjects (aka the taco stand and McDonalds).
After they were declared husband and wife, Manuel broke into tears and all the 400 guests almost drowned. When the hall was dried out, Manuel and Claudia shared the traditional first dance by holding hands and swaying to the music.
The reception featured a spread of meat, buttered vegetables and a five-tier wedding cake. That was just for Manuel, the other guests ate burritos and rice. No! Manuel's doctors were on hand to make sure he didn't devour everything in sight. Manuel had to save his appetite so that he could eat his new wife later. You know he pours hot sauce on her chocha, sprinkles cheese on the top and wraps it in a burrito.
Manuel, who weighed 1,230 at his heaviest in 2006, told the reporters while leaving the hall, "I have a wife and will form a new family and live a happy life!"
Congratulations to Manuel and his ultimate chubby chaser wife, Claudia! I just hope Manuel has a prenup, because you know that bitch Claudia is after his Gansitos collection. Food digger!