Dear Mary Louise, Get Yourself A Paper Shredder
There are certain things that every home should have: a double-sided dildo, a George Foreman grill and a paper shredder. The latter can be used for everything from destroying pictures of your exes to shredding love letters you have written to Carrot Top but never have gotten the courage to send. And if the IRS ever knocks on your door, then you don't have to worry about trying to eat all your documents, because you have a handy shredder at your disposal! A shredder is exactly the kind of gadget Mary Louise Parker needs.
You see, some trash trolls (cough*olsens*cough) have been sifting through the trash cans of celebrities in the West Village part of Manhattan. The trash trolls are spilling whatever shit they find to the papers. One of the trash trolls recently sent a letter to Page Six claiming they went through Mary Louise Parker's crap and found drug prescriptions for thyroid medication. Yeah, thrilling shit.
A West Village resident said, "This is incredibly creepy. It's like nothing is sacred. I hope they find the nut job who's doing this."
That kind of crap is common around these parts. I often see scallywags going through the trash hoping to find something good. I don't know what's worth going through the trash, because people throw away some effed up shit. Yeah, you might find one of Mary Louise's prescriptions, but imagine all the doody, dirty tampons and chunky vomit you'd have to go through to get to it.
ShareThis
LOL. I have all three.
------------------------------------------------
Michael K > www.winnersusedrugs.com > Perez
WWW.WINNERSUSEDRUGS.COM
Finding a butt plug with Tommy Girl's name engraved on it, now THAT would be news!
hmmm, double sided dildo...check, george forman grill...check...paper shredder...i better press the easy button for that...
_____________________________________________
your hatred energizes me. bring it on and watch me radiate!...(nicole julian)
"There are certain things that every home should have: a double-sided dildo, a George Foreman grill and a paper shredder."
.............
Well then. Here is one old ho who is settin' pretty.
thyroid meds? who cares. why did they even waste anyone's time publishing this lame shit?
.
Madam Pince: I know! I was so jazzed up about it, I was showing it off to everyone who came into our apartment. I got a mixture of funny looks and envy (from the couple who registered for it and didn't get any). N.B., TJ Maxx sometimes carries the odd piece of Le Creuset.
Yeah, I was on my way to the supermarket and for some reason I went down that block. There was a fancy brownstone and it looked like the people were moving out. There was a bunch of stuff on the curb, and I was pretty sure it was being discarded. Kinda loitered around to see if someone was going to come by and claim it. Then some people walked by, eyeing it and I grabbed as much as I could stuff into my shopping bag and scooted. That stuff is HEAVY.
I think it's universally acceptable here to take books and furniture from the garbage, but only the crazy people take clothing and shoes.
Hekki, you got Le Creuset on the STREET?!? That stuff is EXPENSIVE. I bet you I could stand on the street around here & ask 100 people and none of them would know what Le Creuset is.
I'm with you about the fabric -- I'm real funny about upholstered stuff. But Le Creuset? I would dig through some shit to get me some.
***********************************************************
“You're a dark and ugly rain cloud blocking my view of the moon."
Submitted by TITS on October 27, 2008 - 8:18pm.
I'll help you Tigerlilly.
Where would you like the plug to go?
*******************************************
Ok, ok, here's what we do we put a conductor up your ass (TEMP...I swear, just a test run to keep it warm), then I plug it in to this outlet (oh the power is switched off...yeah...promise...)Meanwhile I have some mushrooms and onions sauteeing on the stove... and....WHAT? Where are you going??? They are Moral mushrooms! You whores love and TRUST your morals!!! Pssht...another DListed whore dinner out the door....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I think everyone in NYC has been a trash picker at one time or another. I have also left bags of clothing out on the curb, and it is always gone within an hour. Recycling, yo!
I have gotten a lot of good stuff off the curbs. Now, I won't actually take anything that is fabric or anything that can't be easily cleaned. I got a bunch of vintage Le Creuset cookware a few months ago which someone had left on the curb on E. 82nd Street! My favorite was a small omelet pan that went out of production 30 years ago. Mr. Hekki wasn't too thrilled, but I sure was. So I ran it through the dishwasher.
I had a daffy hippieish roommate who used to pick clothing and shoes out of bags, which I found squicky. She used to try to give me things and tell me she'd washed them first. I did take a cashmere coat she found once, but took it to the cleaners before I would wear it.
When passing a bunch of stuff on the sidewalk, I ALWAYS look. I can't help it. Mr. Hekki hates it, but it's my thrifty gene.
I'll help you Tigerlilly.
Where would you like the plug to go?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
I am so smart, I'm practically retarded.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 27, 2008 - 8:05pm
********
I'll wire you up you big ole' puddy cat.
***********
Submitted by Sheeps on October 27, 2008 - 8:01pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 27, 2008 - 7:54pm.
Tiger apparently is so rad that she uses a Buick V-6 wiring harness for nipple clamps.
******************************************
Doesn't everyone? Wait, where are you whores going? You promised to help with the wiring...I HAVE NO OPPOSABLE THUMBS HERE, whores....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 27, 2008 - 7:54pm.
Tiger apparently is so rad that she uses a Buick V-6 wiring harness for nipple clamps.
yeah aunt bea her face doesn't 'match'. she always seems to be frowning with her eyes and her lower face is always happy.
it throws me.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
I am so smart, I'm practically retarded.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
MLP's face annoys the shit outta me
THYROID MEDS???? That's all you get on a ho is THYROID MEDS???? Hell check out the tiger trash, they's all kinda body parts, catnip paraphenalia, sex toys, medical waste...What? Did I say that first and last part out loud? That's just zoo talk for...Thyroid meds...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
TITS,
I've been reading on your exmormons link. Scaaaary. Wonder if Katie is going through this kind of thing? To me her eyes are saying that she wants out, but doesn't want to lose Suri. Poor kid.
Glad Pince escaped the mindcontrol.
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
I would go lezbo for MLP. I'm fascinated with her. She's really not a pet person? Well if she lives in an apt. it's hard to have pets, esp. when she travels the world all the time. Can't wait for the next Weeds season, it better not get canceled! Why would it? It's hot and popular, right? Please tell me it will still be on!
Pince - I had NO idea! I just though they were all midly retarded. The stalking and harassment I'm reading about is positively cult like.
http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon_shorts.htm
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Bacchus. Who's he? He's the god of why don't you read a fucking book.
Dead Like Me
I have one bag of garbage per day.
The garbage bag from the kitchen is filled with whatever is in the bathrooms garbage basket ... and the litter box leavings go on top of that, like a garnish if you will.
One hope that would stop any snoops.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Bacchus. Who's he? He's the god of why don't you read a fucking book.
Dead Like Me
Oooh I hope one day when those nosy as* people sift through the garbage, they stick their hand in poo. Nosy asses!
Shame on you when you step up to... Brooklyn Zoo
that's what she gets for not recycling...bitch.
Madame,
Back when I was single, my running buddy divorced her Mormon husband (he was nuts). The LDS hounded her relentlessly about getting back with him. It was practically stalking. Made her life miserable.
Glad you got out.
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
She is hot,,and a good lil actress too.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mary Louise is the hotness. What a loser!
Jiggy -- I just stopped attending church, although they still came to my house until I moved about a hundred miles away. I told the missionaries to stop coming, but they wouldn't do so until I sent a letter to the bishop. I did, but he claimed not to get it, so I just refused to answer the door when they came.
My mother still goes to church, on her own terms (she's a cafeteria Mormon), but the Voodoo Chile and I refuse to darken any LDS door.
***********************************************************
“You're a dark and ugly rain cloud blocking my view of the moon."
ITA w/MK. When I'm too lazy to use my shredder, I put those ripped up bills in with my used baby wipes, tampons and pads. I thought I was the only one who thought of that.
*******************
"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
if there ever was a WOMAN... MLP is it. Fucking sex, class and thyroids on legs!
Madame Pince,
How did you escape LDS? Did your whole fam get out, too, or were you the only one?
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
-DOOLminded
I like Mary Louise Parker. Hopefully Weeds does not get canceled like I heard it may.
Shit, good thing I am not a celebrity, the read from my pharmaceutical trash would be a way better read: Marinol, valium, dexedrine, vicodin, and a host of others, but the best part being none of the scrips are in my name.
I agree with what you guys are saying about people that don´t like animals, how can you not like animals...? But at least people like that realise that they´re not fit to be pet owners, it´s better than people like our beloved Wonky McValtrex that claim they love animals and yet don´t take proper care of their pets and have them put to sleep when they can´t be bothered anymore.
She only had some medication prescriptions? That's so boring. I sometimes feel like throwing up in our trash bins, the people who go through the cans for recyclables ALWAYS leave a straight up MESS everywhere in front of the apartment. The least they could do is put the trash back in, but no, then our landlady thinks we go do it on purpose! I know she's a bit wacked out in the head anyway, but still...!
Your face!
Aww thanks Missy. I had to get a new avie the ugly clown guy I had was bugging me. This is more chill..
And hell yes I have to agree with the people saying they don't trust/like people who do not like animals. The ones I met like that never turn out to be kind people. My experience at least. Some people are cat lovers, some aren't nuts about cats but love dogs, everyone has favorites but not to like ANY?
Yeah, that kind of makes me uneasy.
@ jiggy- yeah I see your point. I try to get the good karma going by getting off my ass and actually donating the good stuff I can't use instead of just pitching it. That was it will def. get used. The stuff I throw away is not good enough to donate, though. It's usually crap by then..
I can't believe I have to wait to see the next season of WEEDS! Cliffhanger - she's prego with the Mexican mayor. He was hot, dammit. I hope he doesn't off her for going to the feds. I gots my Dexter though so it's all good.
I find dropping a few post-enchilada deuces in the garbage and then shaking it around like a Shake 'n Bake chicken dinner is most rewarding before setting the garbage on the curb.
_____________________
"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Submitted by Madam Pince on October 27, 2008 - 5:02pm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There IS no scandal for thyroid medication...that's what makes it a slow news day.
I have all of the items MK listed except the double-sided dildo. But, I do have a nice collection of single-sided ones, a jack rabbit, a magic wand, a cock ring (not for me), a cock-and-balls noose (again, not for me) and several flavors of edible body oil. But no double-sided dildos. I guess I'm pretty boring.
lol see ya missy =)
____________________________________________
♥ It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy♥
ImpVix and Stank are right -- Julianne Hough's gotten her bleached LDS ass knocked up, so this is the remedy.
I'm sure it happens in all religions, but since I was raised Mormon and relentlessly hounded by all that voodoo, it fucks with my temper whenever a "famous" Mormon is handed a get-out-of-jail-free card. Lesser Mormons (i.e., less money and no fame) would be excommunicated.
***********************************************************
“You're a dark and ugly rain cloud blocking my view of the moon."
barf!
I shred all my Blue Boys once they're over a year old.
*petting Mrs Goslings lil bat ears*
*petting lil bat tummy*
*petting..
WHOA!!!!! WHAT THE?!?!?
hahaha!!
night slutties, you guys helped me get through my day today :)
xoxox!
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Please explain what is the scandal in a thyroid prescription? I've had one for more than a decade.
Of course, I've also been on an assortment of anti-depressants and -psychotics as well. If I was famous, God knows what the trash trolls would do with that.
***********************************************************
“You're a dark and ugly rain cloud blocking my view of the moon."
I have a Champion (that's the name of the brand) Shredder and that sucker will eat up all manner of shit...paper, credit cards, etc. I shred everything...I mean absolutely everything that has my name or any info on me whatsoever. I mail a lot of packages and the shreds make great packing material. So, I recycle at the same time. I wouldn't want to get my hand or any other body part caught in that thing because it has so many cutting edges in it, it could shred your arm off. Everybody should have one.
Submitted by missy on October 27, 2008 - 4:59pm.
I love a pet :)
who doesnt?\
I love petting ;)
____________________________________________
♥ It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy♥
Pet rocks are awesome! Even better Chia pets!
------------
Go Phillies!
I love ALL the little creatures. Until they piss me off.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
I love a pet :)
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on October 27, 2008 - 4:56pm.
This story is tiresome.
Better story: Julianne Hough has appendectomy: Secret code word for abortion?:
Why that sneaky little Mormon!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's my sister Violet. She has a BMW and enough room for a pony."
Clarisse:
My mother is allergic to cats and dogs but my cousins walk into a house with cats, they puff up like the Meemaws on the Lara Flynn Boyle thread from the other day.
They have dogs.
My mother has dogs and a cat, she takes whatever for the allergy, it's not as severe.
Oh On T: She's just weird.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!