But What About Marie?
Over the weekend, TBS played "Pretty Woman" and I had to stop and watch it, because Shane Ross, Marie - Snobby Salesperson #2, is one of my favorite actresses. When she says, "It's very expensive," I feel it in my soul. I truly believe that the dress is VERY expensive.
Anyway, I was hoping that Julia Roberts would feel the same way I do and produce a sequel. In the sequel, Edward Lewis suddenly dies after he shoves a gerbil way too far up his ass and it eats his vital organs. After her husband's death, Vivian Ward Lewis decides to do some good in the world, so she buys the store that scorned her many years ago and turns it into a refuge for unfashionable prostitutes.
At the store, Vivian finds that Marie has been demoted to stock person, because now she's much too ugly and old to be in the front of the store. Vivian takes Marie under her wing to build up her confidence and turn her into the good woman she always wanted to be. In the end, Vivian and Marie realize they have fallen in love with each other and they get married on Rodeo Drive while The Supremes' "Back In My Arms Again" serenades us to the end credits.
Unfortunately, Julia has stomped on my dreams. At last night's Painted Turtle benefit in San Francisco, she said there will never be a sequel. She said, "No one wants to see an old hooker! Do they?" No, but I want to see Marie again, dammit!
Here's the dream killer and Pepaw Bruce Willis last night.
Wenn
• 
I thought that was funny when she said "No one wants to see an old hooker." She was making fun of herself, that was really cool. I think she's still hot at 41. Interestingly I've only known one man in my life that is a fan of hers, all the rest are chicks. Including moi, well sometimes, I've only liked a few of her flicks. I made it thru about 5 minutes of that Mona Lisa feminist crap, and Mary Reilly I couldn't even start it...but Mystic Pizza I could watch over and over, she was so natural and curvy and so bubbly. Pretty Woman is kind of nauseating, the plot is ridiculous, but she was very pretty in that and the character was likeable. I even watch Oprah if she's on it. How does anyone stand Oprah??? That's another soapbox.
omg i love this part, that lady has the best best hair, and i love when julia roberts goes back in and says, "you work on commission right? big mistake huuge mistake!"
btw, i was an extra in Step mom when i was twelve and Julia roberts pushed me aside in a nice way and said excuse me or something like that it was amazing.
This story makes me miss James Haven. Hmmm... James Haven *drools*
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Looks like Bruce likes to see an old hooker.
"Don't worry about me...worry about yourself."--Amy Winehouse
Hekki--
If I had been conscious back when this thread was alive, I'd have said A-men, bebe...a truly disgusting premise.
<3,
the Jig
"It's too much to process."--MK
major wonky eye in the last thumbnail...bruce looks superhot standing next to this hooker...
____________________________________________
your hatred energizes me. bring it on and watch me radiate!...(nicole julian)
Edward Lewis's death in your sequel is beyond brillant, MK, I pissed myself laughing.
Submitted by Stock Broker on October 28, 2008 - 6:03pm.
Julia "Mule Face" should never say never.
Her box office record suxs. And, she can't act worth a shit.
*
Normally I'd agree, but she was good in that ocean movie - the one with eddie izzard. Mind you she WAS playing herself....
nevermind.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Submitted by Mel-Tang on October 28, 2008 - 5:05pm.
Well, she's right about one thing...no one wants to see an old hooker! Especially if her first name starts with J and her last name rhymes with snoberts!!!!
*
that made me laugh like a tool.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Hell YEAH! Play an old hooker! I'll watch!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
I hate that movie. It was disgusting and glorified prostitution. There is absolutely NO WAY a banker would fall in love with a street hooker. And when the Jason Alexander character treats her like a hooker, I was all, this hooer is getting too big for her britches. If you give up the life, you deserve to be treated like a regular person. But if you are taking money for sex, you are a prostitute. Hmmph.
I watched Pretty Woman again the other night (it was a slow viewing evening) and have to say I think Julia looked gorgeous in it. She's not conventionally beautiful at all but there's something about her eyes that make her more beautiful to me than the likes of Angelina Jolie. I could fall in love with Julia but I could only ever fancy Angelina. I am somewhat biased as people tell me I look like her (without the ginormous mouth), but I really do think she was gorgeous in that film. Now, less so, but still better than the likes of Demi Moore, Courteney Cox et al. I'm sure she's a right cow like all the others but at least she doesn't look like one!
Julia "Mule Face" should never say never.
Her box office record suxs. And, she can't act worth a shit.
When she's hard up for $$$, she'll be begging to do a sequel....even to "Hook"
Submitted by Mel-Tang on October 28, 2008 - 5:14pm.
Ugh, my ex boyfriend also used to be overly honest about certain things... I don´t mind my boyfriend saying that someone is beautiful, sexy etc, I do that myself (both regarding men and women), but I do not need to hear how he would like to fuck some other woman! He used to say inappropriate shit like that all the time, even when we were with other people, until I finally blew up and after that he kept those thoughts to himself...
xxyxz,
Click on the link in the post and it takes you to an "urban legends debunked" page with the debunking of Gere's gerbil.
*awkward pause*
From there you can hit a link to Rectal Foreign Objects homepage...for ppl who have hit rock bottom.
So to speak.
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
Submitted by Bella on October 28, 2008 - 4:46pm.
I remember seeing the trailer for Pretty Woman as a kid, there was this clip of Julia laughing in the bubblebath and I remember thinking to myself: Her mouth is HUGE, and finding it weird that she would be considered a beautiful woman.
ugh. I remember that stupid trailer, too. I was in college, and my bf at the time used to remind me how gorgeous she was and what an amazing laugh she had. He used to also talk about her big lips with his friends and comment on how great they would be during a blow job. skank.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
putsomestankonit, I've also heard of that happening and the guy ending up *snickers @ pun* with a scorched ass and burnt rectum...like hospitalization required. I had a nurse friend who has seen all manner of shit in the ER, especially late at night...broken lightbulbs in the ass - not the screw end, but the bulb end, a wine bottle stuck in the cooch (formed a vacuum at the cervix - ouch!) and other assorted objects stuck in orifices.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on October 28, 2008 - 4:36pm.
I used to work with someone who lived in a suburb of Philly and swore up and down that a tv anchor did put a gerbil up his ass. His partner then lit a match looking for it. And because of the noxious gas their was an explosion and the gerbil flew out.
OMG that was totally Jerry Penacolli, right?? LMAO I lived in a suburb of Philly, too. And I worked with someone who swore up and down she was a nurse at the hospital that he came into to get the gerbil removed. hahahaha
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by TITS on October 28, 2008 - 4:45pm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*giggles in a good way* ☺
Well, she's right about one thing...no one wants to see an old hooker! Especially if her first name starts with J and her last name rhymes with snoberts!!!!
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Has anyone debunked shrimping hazards yet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I vant to suck your blood!"
Submitted by jiggywiddit on October 28, 2008 - 4:50pm.
Well, I'm glad the rodent thing was debunked because I've always felt bad for the gerbil.
It's NOT true?!
Well, I'm glad the rodent thing was debunked because I've always felt bad for the gerbil.
"That being said, I'd hit it."--MK
I remember seeing the trailer for Pretty Woman as a kid, there was this clip of Julia laughing in the bubblebath and I remember thinking to myself: Her mouth is HUGE, and finding it weird that she would be considered a beautiful woman.
Submitted by Euphoria on October 28, 2008 - 4:42pm.
ta.
i thought it was bang on myself.
purr
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Submitted by TITS on October 28, 2008 - 4:36pm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ziggy Stardust! *giggles maniacally*
Julia is so pretty.
Submitted by Euphoria on October 28, 2008 - 4:34pm.
IMAGINE BILLY SELLING STOCK TIPS TO THE MASSES!
HOLY SHIT WE WOULD ALL BE OXY CLEANED OUT OF OUR SAVINGS!!!!!
SELL SELL SELL
BUY BUY BUY!
THEY KNOW NOTHING! BERNANKE KNOWS NOTHING!
*foams at the mouth and has a stroke on national t.v."
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I used to work with someone who lived in a suburb of Philly and swore up and down that a tv anchor did put a gerbil up his ass. His partner then lit a match looking for it. And because of the noxious gas their was an explosion and the gerbil flew out.
Submitted by Euphoria on October 28, 2008 - 4:28pm.
Cooch.Roue, that was surely one of the most eloquent summations EVER of the effects of a movie on one of its viewers!
*
Indeed. Read like a well laid ziggy stardust.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Submitted by xxyxz on October 28, 2008 - 4:32pm.
You know what I think?
I think..... SLOTH LOV SWIMMIE!
LOOOOOK SLOTH HAVE TREAAAAAAAAAASURE TRAIL!
BABY ROOF?
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LoLo on October 28, 2008 - 4:30pm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That diatribe could just have easily come from THE SCREAMER BILLY MAYS!
This would totally be Oscar material. Clint should have made this instead of that Changeling crap.
How dare she say that! Old hookers are the best, they have the answers to all life's secrets...they're like Confucius, Yoda and Uncle Remus all rolled into one.
LoLo
I need to know what you think of the Phelps picture....
P.S YES I KNOW i'm off topic
The last thumb nail I think pepaw Bruce touched her AZZ
Oh shit why Original Horse Face hanging out with Jim Cramer from Mad Money?
"Boo Yah Jim from Central Buttfuckville Iowa!"
"Boo Yah BACK AT YA Iowa"
"Jim Im having Julia Roberts over for supper time and I was wondering if I should buy stock in farm feed?"
*Cramer responds in his usual yell and faoms at the mouth*
" BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY READ MY BOOK BUY BUY BUY BUY DONT BUY"
" Ummmmmm what?"
"NEXT CALLER!"
Jim Cramer = Loud Ass Mother Fucker!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by TITS on October 28, 2008 - 4:21pm.
It´s safe, no pictures. It´s about some urban legend that Richard Gere once had to have an emergency operation to remove a gerbil from his rectum.
Oh, damn, my bad! I was talking about the link about Julia. No, the Richard Gere link is harmless, too. No pictures of lost gerbils in the rectum.
Mrs.Kravitz on October 28, 2008 - 4:27pm
The Evil Ear knows, that's Evil Eyes cousin.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Cooch.Roue, that was surely one of the most eloquent summations EVER of the effects of a movie on one of its viewers!
Apparently, protection from the Evil Eye is a major industry. Who knew?
http://www.luckyeyesonline.com/
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius
You know that Richard Gere link was actually really well written, I was expecting some urban dictionary type douchebaggary.
------------
Go Phillies!
MK, your either bored or you've lost your damn mind.
Either way, you still slay me!
Botox, yes Mrs. K. But there's also a certain level of craziness in her eyes.
And, yes, I clicked on the link and it's harmless. It's just Julia talking about Jack Nicholson scaring the bejeebies outta her when he talked to her baby, Henry, some stuff about no sequel and old hookers and a comment on Sarah Palin's wardrobe expenditures. Pretty blah stuff.
The moment those hooker hos refuse to let Julia Roberts shop is a seminal moment in modern American cinema. The dialogue, the blocking, the camera angles, the performances - all of them flawlessly paint a vivid picture of the turmoil that results when rampant American consumerism clashes with the clearly-defined caste system of early 90's Los Angeles. I, for one, would like to see a detailed explication of this most-tragic fictional event, for it is burnt into my memory until the End of Days.
Only later, when Julia cleans up her appearance (and, subconsciously, her soul) is she rewarded with the privilege of shopping for luxury goods with someone else's money. A more heart-warming ending I can not think of. I'm not even sure what happens in the movie after Julia emphasizes Marie's "big mistake."
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
Submitted by Euphoria on October 28, 2008 - 4:19pm.
Bruce be looking elderly in that last thumbnail and Julia looks like she's on some heavy-duty meds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if by "heavy-duty meds" you mean Botox, I would have to agree.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius
Did anyone have the guts to click on *the* link?
If so, can you report back and tell us if it's safe to venture inside?
Please and thank you.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
MK, you should be a screenwriter. I would go and see that movie. I'm not even kidding.
Bruce be looking elderly in that last thumbnail and Julia looks like she's on some heavy-duty meds.