Kim From "The Real Housewives Of Atlanta" Is 30 Now
When Kim Zolciak of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" proclaimed on the show that she was twenty-fucking-nine, television sets across America simultaneously received a huge load of various soft drink brands on their screens. You could hear the millions of cackles from space. Well, Kim stands by her story and she blogged about it:
Wow!!! As you can see by watching this episode things have changed. I planned a breakfast with Nene, Cori, and Sheree so we can catch up and spend time together. Nene, Cori, and I were at the Intercontinental when I found out Sheree was so sick. I felt terrible for her -- she doesn't have a husband that can take care of her so I figured I would bring her some medicine. It was great to see her. I couldn't believe how sick she was and how GREAT she looked.
Sheree and I met through NeNe a couple years ago and we are just now beginning to get to know each other. I really like Sheree. We are both divorced and our children are close in age, as well as we are both chasing our dreams. The more time I spend with her the more I like her.
Since Sheree couldn't attend the breakfast I planned a spa day at Kai Spa. I invited Sheree, NeNe, and my BFF Cori. I love the spa. I love to take care of my skin. ALTHOUGH all the blogging going on states "I can't possibly be 29" I am actually 30 years old now.
You know it took her hours to write that last sentence. When she hit the "3" on her keyboard, it kept coming up as "4." She couldn't figure out what was going on. Well, any self-respecting keyboard cannot tell a lie! I can't wait until next week's episode where NeNe calls that bitch out on her age! I can always count on NeNe to tell the fucking truth.
Besides the preview for next week's hopefully hot episode, nothing really happened last night. DeShawn's big gala was a big bust, because she didn't sell enough "jooree." Big Papa bought Kim some ugly ass bracelet you can get at Claire's. And Kim backstabbed NeNe by palling around with Sheree, who really does remind me of the Lady Chablis from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil! It would make my year if I could watch Sheree to say "I'm the Lady Chablis! Hear me roar!"
UPDATE: Last week, Sandra Rose posted a court document which states that Kim is in fact 30. I just can't believe this shit. Even if you handed me her birth certificate, I still couldn't say she's 30 without busting out laughing. I won't believe this shit until you build me a time machine and take me back to 1978 to witness her birth!
Thanks Elizabeth, Cisco & Lahoma
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I am 32 and I look closer in age to Kim's eldest daughter than to her. For what it's worth, a hot mess looks like a hot mess at any age.
And I have said this before on here, I know Holly (Cullen) Madison personally and she is in fact under 30. I'll be 33 in a couple of months and I know I am 2-3 years older than her. Not that I could give a rats ass, but it's true.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace: "ah but my dear, passive aggression is ALWAYS purposeful. Calling all psyche majors on DListed, am I right?"
Well, yes. But I think after a while, it becomes automatic and not calculated. How can someone really spend all their time calculating and planning their sweet maliciousness? Maybe it comes naturally, I don't understand how it works.
I work with a woman who is absolutely gorgeous, flawless (looks like Angelina Jolie but softer), smart as a whip and is sweet as pie. Or so I thought.
She spends the entire day undermining every other woman at the company. I just want to ask her why, as she is clearly superior to the rest of us (she really is), she still has to take potshots.
DeShawn's husband looks bored. Couldn't blame him if he was. Women like DeShawn make Karrine Steffans' job very easy.
Oh, Sheree. Bitter divorcee. I see a string of young suitors in her future that will screw her, spend her money, then split.
Kim is like that trashy white girl in high school that you didn't want to be seen with because people would think you were a slut, too.
NeNe would be a great addition to The View. She would stir up some shit, and I would totally watch it.
Another website mentioned that she is hispanic not white.
NeNe is the funniest out of all the women, makes more sense out of all the women, and the biggest juicyest titties on tv.
The black gay guy, NeNe's friend kept it real when he said those people are just going to come eat and drink her food and keep it moving. You are not going to raise a million dollars for free by not charging at the door. I loved him. NeNe, I like your gay friend but watch your gay friend with your son.
The Korean/black girl put the work in networking fun.
The
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Pearl you are right! But she has no room to talk with that rug on her head.
Shame on you when you step up to... Brooklyn Zoo
Submitted by Sheeps on October 29, 2008 - 6:26pm.
Hey, you'd be amazed how many court and govt docs are complete forgeries: names, birth dates, addresses, heights, weights ..... I have no idea what the truth is here but some vehicle-code report means nothing.
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Thanks, Sheeps! That's what I'm talking about; seen enough of that myself at work.
Submitted by Sayonara on October 29, 2008 - 6:27pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 29, 2008 - 6:25pm.
And isn't it soooo passively aggressively 'nice' of her to point out how her good 'friend' does not have a huuuuusband to 'take care of her.'
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That was a cheap shot, and she did it on purpose.
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ah but my dear, passive aggression is ALWAYS purposeful. Calling all psyche majors on DListed, am I right? ... *crickets* ... THANKS! I'll take that as a resounding YES :D
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 29, 2008 - 6:25pm.
And isn't it soooo passively aggressively 'nice' of her to point out how her good 'friend' does not have a huuuuusband to 'take care of her.'
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That was a cheap shot, and she did it on purpose.
Shame on you when you step up to... Brooklyn Zoo
Submitted by LilaFowler on October 29, 2008 - 6:22pm.
Dude-sad to burst everyone's bubble, but this chick was in my husband's homeroom freshman year in high school-and yes, he's 30. Unless she was pulling a "Strangers with Candy" kinda thang then?
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I'd bet my dwindling 401K on the latter! Or she was held back a couple of grades AND "homeschooled" on a bus by hippy parents or something, 'cause NO, she's got DOG years peering out from under that Bondo foundation.
Hey, you'd be amazed how many court and govt docs are complete forgeries: names, birth dates, addresses, heights, weights ..... I have no idea what the truth is here but some vehicle-code report means nothing.
Submitted by smfaceykidd on October 29, 2008 - 6:10pm.
Why does DeShawn talk through clenched teeth all the time? And why does she say "I always knew I was destined for greatness?"
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She is either delusional or crazy. Take your pick!
Shame on you when you step up to... Brooklyn Zoo
And isn't it soooo passively aggressively 'nice' of her to point out how her good 'friend' does not have a huuuuusband to 'take care of her.'
Run along back to your pool boy, hagatha.
oy, THIS is why my TV stays off most all the time.
"Court doccument"? buuuuullshit.
Hand over the birth cert, Madame Menopause.
Dude-sad to burst everyone's bubble, but this chick was in my husband's homeroom freshman year in high school-and yes, he's 30. Unless she was pulling a "Strangers with Candy" kinda thang then?
Submitted by Otter Pop: "She's wearing her karma on the outside."
Oooh, I like that!
It's true, though! You can see so much if you really look at someone.
Kim who? And who cares?
Why does DeShawn talk through clenched teeth all the time? And why does she say "I always knew I was destined for greatness?" What is greatness? Marrying a basketball player? Hmm..amazing accomplishment!
Stop giving the women out here who are 30 a bad look Grandmama.
Shame on you when you step up to... Brooklyn Zoo
She's wearing her karma on the outside.
Ok...so you're just now a minute ago turned 30. You still look more like you're 40....birth certificate or no. You're not aging well Kim.
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Beer goggles....they turn BOW into WOW!!!!
Well then, our sympathies girlfriend because you don't look a day under 40. Who is this rich terminally ill blind man you're screwing?
I kinda believe it, too. After all, Ali Lohan looks 40 and she's what, 14?
Some bitches with beaky noses always look older.
xxyxz : It is on right now.. and no bitch does not look 30
I just think she's a gross, busted, trailer-park 30...like Holly Madison who is allegedly 28!?!?
Seriously, WTF?
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
HAH...30 my ass. If she is so loaded, maybe she can get some real extensions. It looks like she hot glue gunned barbie hair to her head. She should also get someone to scrape all that makeup off her face. She could give Tranny Clown a run for her money. That Kim makes me throw up in my mouth a little. I still get sucked into the show ((dammit)).
maybe she means 30 years since her boob implants granted her new life.
A real housewife would eat that piece of plastic for brekky.
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Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
She is one of the most unfortunate and oldest looking 30-year olds I have ever laid eyes on.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
So this court document is supposed to prove she's 30?
Four words: I have Photoshop too!
Submitted by Farrah on October 29, 2008 - 5:40pm.
Where are my souvenirs from the convention?
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I am packing them up as we speak, baby cakes.
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For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius
She's 30 alright. In dog years! Speaking of dogs, she looks like one as do all the hideous creatures on that "show".
I belive her, I think all that plastic surgery is what makes her look older. Lets not forget whoregelina is 33 and Kim look WAY younger than her.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on October 29, 2008 - 5:37pm.
Oy, she looks like my cousin Leo's kid...Kevin.
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don't worry, "we" all look the same, before we get our Bar/Bat Mitzvah's nose jobs.
Where are my souvenirs from the convention?
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
I also love how she worded what all the blogs are saying to look like everyone is praising her. "I cant possibly be 29!" Its always nice to laugh at some people who are so disillusioned that they wont even notice you doing it.
Oy, she looks like my cousin Leo's kid...Kevin.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius
of all these fake bitches, i like NeNe.. she doesnt pretend to act a certain way, she might be ghetto but she's not fake like this other bitches!!and she looks like a lot of fun to hang out with actually... Deshawn needs to get on a fking diet; i cant believe that with all that money they have she cannot hire a personal trainer..sheree, that fking bitch looks like my niece's chihuahua..Kim is fking delusional..
anyway, i love this show.. its fking ridiculous! lol
30? Wasnt her oldest daughter like 13??
Who is big poppy? Who is her exhusband? Are these 2 different men?
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Oh bugger it all!
I live in DC for Tuscany's sake!
Submitted by TheVinylVillager on October 29, 2008 - 5:25pm.
she is attrocious! The real housewives of atlanta prove that money don't buy class. NeNe put the ghet in ghetto. Trailer Park Barbie here is gonna be back in the cheese line as soon as Big Papa finds a newer model, DeShawn needs to get over herself, but she does prove that no matter how damn ugly you are (and her big ass is) good clothes and some hair and makeup can make up for what God failed to provide.
The only one who is even halfway decent is the real estate woman.
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THANK YOU! Nene is Ghetto but I have to give her props and state that she's the realest out of all those bitches. The way Kim and Sheree was sittign there talkign about how fabulous and gorgeous each other is got very nauseating very quickly and I can't wait for the fall out. Why would you want to be a friend with someone so obviously vain?
As for Deshawn, shes dumb as bricks the only thing she smart at is spending her husband's hard earned money on stupid shit like nannies and governesses. She needs to spends some of that money on manners school for her kids or whatever they call that shit.
Lisa does not rub me the right way. She has two grown children with Keith Sweat yet acts like that baby is her own and only. Very strange.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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what the fuck is that bitch eating if she's 30!!!!!!
kim,
take this advice... stay the hell outta the sun from now on....
30, uh huh, fuck her lame ass Birth Certificate, we used to get copies of ours, enlarge them, change the birthdate and get fake id's.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by misslainey on October 29, 2008 - 5:28pm.
what about if we change all that a little:
If she's 30, Michael Jackson is a straight black man.(and those kids were made the ole fashion way with HIS jizz)
If she's 30, Tommy Girl is the world's greatest actor.(and straight, and tall, brilliant and with an IQ of 250)
If she's 30, Wonk McV is a saint.(AND A VIRGIN)
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Are we sure she's not talking about the age of her implants?
what this bitch really needs is a newborn nose. She'll probably get "it's a girl!" baloons and shit.
Oh, and if she's 29, then i'm the youngest beesh with a driver's license.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
If she's 30, Michael Jackson is a straight black man.
If she's 30, Tommy Girl is the world's greatest actor.
If she's 30, Wonk McV is a saint.
Seriously, if she's 30, she must've had one hard assed life because I'm 40, fat and STILL look younger and better than her.
I hate when people wear too much make-up it's really gross. I'm sure if she got rid of some of it maybe she'd actually look like she's 30. Probably not but it's worth trying.
http://www.myspace.com/12005637
more importantly
http://www.last.fm/user/sky_is_lovely
Okay she's younger than me but I look younger than her. So the jokes on this broken down piece of trash.
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"I vant to suck your blood!"
she is attrocious! The real housewives of atlanta prove that money don't buy class. NeNe put the ghet in ghetto. Trailer Park Barbie here is gonna be back in the cheese line as soon as Big Papa finds a newer model, DeShawn needs to get over herself, but she does prove that no matter how damn ugly you are (and her big ass is) good clothes and some hair and makeup can make up for what God failed to provide.
The only one who is even halfway decent is the real estate woman.
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
when does this shit come on?
I must watch once