Vadge & Guy's Crazy Marriage Contract
Vadge is the most controlling controller whoever controlled, so it shouldn't come to a complete shock that she made Guy Ritchie agree to a marriage contract. The contract was filled with insane rules like how often they should fuck and what words they should using during arguments. I'm guessing "fuck you cunt" wasn't one of the allowed phrases?
According to The Sun, the document was posted around the house and whenever he was a bad slave and broke the rules, she would say, "Contract, Guy, contract." I bet he had to sign it with the blood from his ripped out nutsack.
Here's just some of the rules on Vadge's "I OWN YOU" contract:
Guy must work to enrich his wife’s emotional and spiritual wellbeing.Guy must devote several hours a week to reading Kabbalah texts with Madge.
Guy must only use certain words during arguments to resolve conflicts in a constructive way.
Guy must never shout and instead say, “I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this."
Guy must devote time to sex sessions and not use sex as a stick to beat one another.
They couldn't beat each other with their sex sticks?! No wonder Vadge always looks like she has blue balls. All she needed to do was to beat Guy with her "sex stick." And trust me, she has one of those. It's just usually stuck up her ass.
I totally believe Vadge has contracts and rules for everything. The hulk-lady is crazy. She probably even schedules her bowel movements down to the second. If one of her butt nuggets is even a millisecond late, she yells at her asshole and writes up her intestines.
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Submitted by TITS on October 29, 2008 - 9:30pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 9:26pm.
Submitted by TITS on October 29, 2008 - 9:23pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 9:14pm.
Rule 14,689: You must always dress up funny for Purim.
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As Megilla Gorilla?
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Or, Vadge's beard.
*
what? no points for my arcane jewish reference?
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You get a gazillion, trillion, billion, million points. Your reference was so arcane that I did not recognize it until you mentioned it.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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If you wanna say bye-bye to your lonelySingle life , then do not miss this great opportunity " W ealthyF ind er Co m" lots of nice girls and guys are waiting for yourWink
Submitted by Manimal5 on October 29, 2008 - 9:25pm.
Evenin' Manny!
Angie has many rules but they aren't written in stone. Blood maybe, but not stone.
Her rules are mostly for Brad who doesn't seem to be following any of them at the moment.
Right now we are concentrating on Halloween. It's a big deal for the Jolie-Pitts. Mad is going as an Executioner. She bought him a mini bayonet. James Haven must admit he chuckles every time he sees Mad chasing the new kid around with a it.
The new kid is going as "Jack The Ripper" and Z wanted to be Lizzie Borden. Angie bought Z an axe just to make it more authentic. Shi is going as her favorite dinosaur. No, not Barney. T-Rex. These kids are crazier then Palin!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 9:26pm.
Submitted by TITS on October 29, 2008 - 9:23pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 9:14pm.
Rule 14,689: You must always dress up funny for Purim.
*
As Megilla Gorilla?
======
Or, Vadge's beard.
*
what? no points for my arcane jewish reference?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Submitted by TITS on October 29, 2008 - 9:23pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 9:14pm.
Rule 14,689: You must always dress up funny for Purim.
*
As Megilla Gorilla?
======
Or, Vadge's beard.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by James Haven on October 29, 2008 - 9:16pm.
Hey James and all you funnies!
Does AJ have as many rules as Madonna?
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 9:14pm.
Rule 14,689: You must always dress up funny for Purim.
*
As Megilla Gorilla?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Personal relationships cannot and should not be based on contracts. Then it becomes a business. How can you come home and still feel you are at work? Buy yourself a robot and live with it if you are into contracts. How was this man able to live with this crazy slut>?
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*Power corrupts*Absolute power corrupts absolutely*
wow.. it seems like the media is really out to make Madonna look like a lunatic. But Guy looks like a loser puppy too.
I am getting the real scoop on them here
"Industry rule #4080, record company people are shadyyyy!"
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must devote time to sex sessions and not use sex as a stick to beat one another.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on October 29, 2008 - 9:11pm.
AAAAAH Tigerlily!
You makes the best sense out of a complicated situation. You should be an arbitrator...with purty claws and teefs!
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I'm not sure all the claws and teefs in the world can wrench Guy Ritchie's nuts from Vadge's roided up arthritic veiny vice-grip, but as Nancy Grace likes to say, " lets unleash the lawyers..."
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by NitWitty on October 29, 2008 - 9:14pm.
SmOOches Nit! Long time no see
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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It keeps getting better and better. Guy was INSANE to ever put up with her. She's not even pretty for God's sakes!
Submitted by Manimal5 on October 29, 2008 - 9:09pm.
Rule # 1,046 Never say that I'm a used up hobag with veins that are about to explode.
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Sadly for guy he fell asleep at rule #878.
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Rule 14,689: You must always dress up funny for Purim.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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All those rules are Kabballah couples therapy bullshit. Sounds like 3 times a week therapy rules to me. He is a supreme pussy to put up with that shit.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Rule #1068...Guy must not make any movies and put Vadge in as the lead as it may destroy his career. That's the only one he needed to heed...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 29, 2008 - 9:07pm.
Thanks. *throws beefy steak*
However, what about Rocco? I understand that David belongs to Vadge since paid for him out of her own separate funds.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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AAAAAH Tigerlily!
You makes the best sense out of a complicated situation. You should be an arbitrator...with purty claws and teefs!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shadow was the best doggie boy ever...10/08/08
you're welcome. I'm gld you reminded me, maybe I'll let him have his tv back and put it on constant repeat lol. good educational stuff!
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A Pimp Named Slickback will put a lot of things over a hoe: Money over a hoe? Always. Brand new gators over a hoe? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich wit just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no.
Rule # 1,046 Never say that I'm a used up hobag with veins that are about to explode.
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I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary
I don't wanna live my life aga-uh-in...
5. On Cinco De Mayo - Guy must speak with a Spanish accent!
*
Sweet fancy Moses.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
Submitted by jussayin on October 29, 2008 - 9:00pm.
Thanks! Very interesting site. I see some good downloads for my nephew too.
.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 8:56pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 29, 2008 - 8:49pm.
Submitted by Mustang Sally on October 29, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Okay, young 'uns, don't laugh. Well, you can if you want to. What the hell is the difference between a Marriage Contract and a Pre-nup?
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In a pre-nup, you get to keep your balls?
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TL (*scratches behind ears gently*): Does this mean that Vadge get to keep hers but has to return Guy's?
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This is where it gets legally complicated...Bear with me...Vadge's roided up nuts are hers, bought with her own money...and a result of voluntary usage of 'roids...you know, much like her chin hairs are....Now, per the "marriage contract" Guy deeded over his nuts to Vadge...No disputing that, BUT was there a provision of custody of those nuts should the marriage dissolve? It doesn't appear so at first glance....Ergo, Guy has a right to go after is own nuts, but not Vadge's nuts, nor her chin hairs, and he's totally not allowed within 100 feet of Lourdes's unibrow or 'stache....This much I know...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 29, 2008 - 8:40pm.
I was so about to ask about her teef????
*
Why are you so concerned with peoples teet... nevermind.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Do you really care?
Sure, I make my face look like this and the concerned words come out.
Dead Like Me - boom bah
She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site """" W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m """""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
http://www.school-house-rock.com/
I'm just a bill, yeah I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill....
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A Pimp Named Slickback will put a lot of things over a hoe: Money over a hoe? Always. Brand new gators over a hoe? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich wit just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no.
Submitted by James Haven on October 29, 2008 - 8:55pm.
Gwen's disdain for high-quality cosmetics is quite obvious.
You might want to take a peek at the thread; for no other reason than to giggle at our nastily accurate comments about her.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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@James..Just as long as he brings a sense of humor and leaves Mclame at home on the porch with his broken down fridge (Palin) he's always welcome..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 29, 2008 - 8:49pm.
Submitted by Mustang Sally on October 29, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Okay, young 'uns, don't laugh. Well, you can if you want to. What the hell is the difference between a Marriage Contract and a Pre-nup?
********************************************
In a pre-nup, you get to keep your balls?
============
TL (*scratches behind ears gently*): Does this mean that Vadge get to keep hers but has to return Guy's?
BTW: Will she give Guy another nutcracker for Purim?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 8:45pm.
JH: How have you been? *hugs and smooches*
I was asking about you at the Gwen thread; no one had heard from you for weeks.
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**Kisses** Momus!
James Haven has been very busy. James Haven hasn't dropped in the Gwen thread as we are not on speaking terms. Gwen said that "MaryKay is for old hags" and she would never use it!
Does she realize how silly she looks with white hair and big red lips?
And for crying out Angie - where did she get the name Zuma? Couldn't she have found something more traditional like Knox?
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Thornhill on October 29, 2008 - 8:44pm.
@James...I just had to do some grown up stuff for a while. D-listed is a drug you cant quit...
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So true, Thorny!
James Haven was just talking about his Dlisted buddies to Barry (that's as in Barack).
Poor Barry is so wound up about next week, so James Haven took him for a boys night out! We had Marquerita's and Tortilla chips with flamin' hot salsa!
Barry promised James Haven he would check out the "D" (as James Haven calls it) as soon as the big day is over.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Mustang Sally on October 29, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Okay, young 'uns, don't laugh. Well, you can if you want to. What the hell is the difference between a Marriage Contract and a Pre-nup?
---
to be honest never heard of a marriage contract before... but from this i gather that the contract governs what happens during the marriage, and pre-nup comes into force on break down of the marriage.
Submitted by jussayin on October 29, 2008 - .
Schoolhouse Rock!!!! that's the shit!!!
Conjunction junction, what's your function?
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That's so cool! I was trying to remember where I heard that! Conjunction, junction too! That rocks! There's some good shit on TV.
;D
.
Salem13 nice avi! That was my favorite scene in the movie
Submitted by Mustang Sally on October 29, 2008 - 8:45pm.
Okay, young 'uns, don't laugh. Well, you can if you want to. What the hell is the difference between a Marriage Contract and a Pre-nup?
********************************************
In a pre-nup, you get to keep your balls?
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
To which guy would reply, "Yes dear now fuck off and leave me the Pub and millions of dollars", so she did..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
Hey, Joe! You like my reading materials? You must mean the mountain books. I DREAM of mountains! (Sorry, not yours, Pearl.)
Into Thin Air just blew me away. I haven't stopped reading about that event or mt adventures since.
Major vertigo!!
;))
.
Submitted by James Haven on October 29, 2008 - 8:42pm.
Two great minds with same great observation!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Okay, young 'uns, don't laugh. Well, you can if you want to. What the hell is the difference between a Marriage Contract and a Pre-nup?
Maybe, they're different in England. DAE, where are you?
Guy used to be a somebody. Madonna? Ugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erEoQH33B70
Submitted by Hysteria on October 29, 2008 - 8:35pm.
Hey Joe - I've always loved adverbs. Used to be a kid's show, "Lolly, Lolly, Lolly. Get your adverbs here. Quickly, quickly, quickly, get your adverbs here." ;))
Schoolhouse Rock!!!! that's the shit!!! it wasn't a show, they was lil educational shorts that came on in the 80's betwwen cartoons (when cartoons were good but that's a whole different off-topic)
conjunction junction, what's your function?
I bought it to help my adhd nephew! he likes music.
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A Pimp Named Slickback will put a lot of things over a hoe: Money over a hoe? Always. Brand new gators over a hoe? Absolutely. A turkey sandwich wit just tomato? Guaranteed. But homies? Oh no.
Submitted by James Haven on October 29, 2008 - 8:42pm.
JH: How have you been? *hugs and smooches*
I was asking about you at the Gwen thread; no one had heard from you for weeks.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
@James...I just had to do some grown up stuff for a while. D-listed is a drug you cant quit...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
i wonder if no one she knows is nice enough to tell her that she should do some counseling or psychoteraphy?
i also lost my mom at an early age and did not morph into a monster as big as she is...
also wonder what those kids will do when they grow up...there surely won't be drugs powerful enough for them...
Submitted by Thornhill on October 29, 2008 - 8:40pm.
@James... Sup handsome..
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Thorny! SmOOches
It has been quite awhile since James Haven has "seen" you and quite frankly, feared you had ditched the dlisted gang!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Momus the Sarcastic's picture
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on October 29, 2008 - 8:36pm.
HAHA. I posted my Trollsen reference before I saw yours. Pretty sad that the once sexy Madonna is now considered on par with a troll.
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"I think we'll ned some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Hysteria on October 29, 2008 - 8:35pm.
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Off Topic:
Hey no kidding! I've never heard of that show. But with the word *Lolly* it's got to be an English or Aussie creation? I still think that *Death of the Adverb* is a helluva title for a book.
If anyone else is reading this and rolling their eyes, Piss off NICELY & QUICKLY (adverbs)
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Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 29, 2008 - 8:35pm.
I used to have a gap in my teeth like Vadge, I'm extremely grateful I got that shit fixed, I know people would look at me like I didn't take care of them.
O/T That shit is crazy hopefully Guy will be able to go out and fuck whatever he wants.
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Go Phillies!
@James... Sup handsome..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Now with value added intrestin..
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on October 29, 2008 - 8:35pm.
oh another Vadge issue for me: I used to love and defend her keeping of the tooth gap, but now...Well, she's morphing into her ex, Sandra Bernhardt.
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I was so about to ask about her teef???? Does she have one of those Lauren Hutton toof pieces, cuz I saw a pic of her (Vadge) sans gap and thought, 'Well, ya know she got the "granny package deal" face lift, chicken cutlet cheeks, botox and new teefs..." But ya know, Lauren Hutton modeled with and with out the gap BEFORE photoshop, and I think she wore some sort of dental device which I think Vadge has also used....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...