Fishy's Guide To Looking Like Poop
Always wanted to look like a leftover soggy fishstick without a deliciously flaky crust? Well, you're in luck! Fishstick Paltrow's latest Goop "rhymes with poop" newsletter is all about health!
Fishy says with the help of three doctors in London, NYC and Los Angeles, she's found ways to deal with some health problems including pneumonia, anemia, stress and stick-up-ass syndrome. Obviously, she still hasn't found a cure for the latter one.
Here's what Fishy and her doctors recommend:
Sleep eight hours for two weeks. If you need help use herbs like valerian and chamomile. (Note from MK: Does weed count?)Police your thoughts and deal with your feelings constructively. Most of the background chatter in our mind is worrying, judging, criticizing, defending and complaining. (Note from MK: FUCK THAT!)
Eliminate all white foods including flour and sugar. (Note from MK: Does that include coke?)
Don't eat for 12 hours after your last meal.
After two weeks of sleeping and eating better, you'll have the energy to exercise. Begin as you like.
If you are totally out of shape. Start by walking 15 minutes a day and add a minute every day for the first month. At the end of a month, you'll be up to 45 minutes a day, which should make you ready for whatever more strenuous form of exercise you want to try.
Don't drink a lot of caffeine or alcohol. (Note from MK: This bitch is stupid!)
This explains why Fishy is a pretentious drip with the sense of humor of a slug. The bitch needs more booze and sugar in her life! I'm functioning just fine on a strict carbs and sugar-only diet. Yes, I constantly have the sugar shakes, but that's a form of exercise!
Click here to read Fishy's entire newsletter of poop.
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I am a petite curvy blonde who wants to reignite her social life.
I love dancing, music and travel - I am in the process of planning a trip to Petra. Would you care to join me? ____ http://DateRichSingleS.com ____ Free site!~ You can meet lots of nice girls like me
How many years has it been since she's been in a movie?
I am supposed to take diet and medical advice from some nit-wit who believes in alternative "medicine"?
I don't think so. This is the chick who showed off her bruises in an evening gown after having some quack do a round of cupping on her back!
(see quackwatch.com for info on sham medical practices)
I read somewhere that she started saying that she eats a lot of fried food, while enjoying wine, blahblahblah.
Of course she only claimed that she eats all she wants when she was doing that show with that food network dude, who promptly told everyone that although Fishsticks has a healthy appetite, she exercises like a maniac.
It seems that these women all enjoy to tell us that they eat like a horse, but can't put on weight. Perhaps it's some sort of desire to make people who struggle with keeping weight off feel really bad.
Whatever. I'm pretty sure FishSticks eats once a month and exercises 3hrs/day.
When she feels generous, she opens her mouth to give us 'health advice'. When she feels like creating some 'mischief', she tells people that she can eat anything without gaining. At any rate, when she opens her mouth, bs comes out no matter her motivations.
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My other gig
My other hangout
Just when I think I don't mind this one she opens her mouth. Please, all Hollywood agents, tell your actors to shut up!
Submitted by Green Is Good on October 31, 2008 - 4:24pm.
I can't wait for her husband to get caught with a hooker in the back seat of his car.
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A one eyed hooker with no teeth.
sorry for the double post.
I watched the Made in Spain show on PBS. It was so irritating. Mario Batali grosses me out. Not because he's fat, more because he's an annoying ass. She's a pretentious snob and dull as hell. NOOOOO I can't eat that chicken because it's not free range. They both had that faux snob accent too. Eck!
I watched the Made in Spain show on PBS. It was so irritating. Mario Batali grosses me out. Not because he's fat, more because he's an annoying ass. She's a pretentious snob and dull as hell. NOOOOO I can't eat that chicken because it's not free range. They both had that faux snob accent too. Eck!
Submitted by Green Is Good on October 31, 2008 - 4:24pm.
Ugh. How I loathe this pretentious twat. She's so fucking full of herself.
I can't wait for her husband to get caught with a hooker in the back seat of his car.
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A MALE hooker!
For real though. She clearly does not realize the negative impact she has on people due to her snobbsh attitude. I try really hard not to take it personally and be annoyed by her but its really hard
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
STFU already Fishsticks Paltrow. Go buy some Clearasil or Proactiv for your Crisco face.
She is 7 shades of annoying.
Ugh. How I loathe this pretentious twat. She's so fucking full of herself.
I can't wait for her husband to get caught with a hooker in the back seat of his car.
Submitted by angel_i on October 31, 2008 - 3:24pm.
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Hey! Lean like a chola link girl! I've been looking for you cause I used to regularly click on your Tom Jones "she's a Lady" video. I never got sick of it. It was the simultaneous head to the side snap and leg kick/hip thrust thing he did when the music got really groovy. Anyways, now I have to do extra work by finding it myself to get my fix, but I owe you one cause that's the best shit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnpyPxSytFg
Christ but she's an ugly little Capt'n Highliner fishstick isn't she? Bitch needs to lighten up and also WHO REALLY CARES WHAT YOU DO FOR YOUR LOOKS, IT AINT WORKING YOU GENERIC-LOOKING GREASY-FACED FUG CUNT!!!
Ummm...bitch needs to worry about that oily,messed up looking face of hers before anything else.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
its easy to stay thin when cocaine. I remember those blind items about that rockstar who fucks men and women behind his wife's back while his wife is a total coke head. Its totally Fishsticks!
I am on a type of medication I don't think that diet would work with. When I take it, it requires that shortly afterward I eat nothing but chocolate chip cookies, Doritos, pizza, and a nice cold milk shake, which I am allowed to substitute for chocolate milk.
Submitted by GoogleMeYouDumbFuck on October 31, 2008 - 2:47pm.
Most of the background chatter in our mind is worrying, judging, criticizing, defending and complaining.
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Those are called thoughts and ideas you wan, new age dullard. Please don't ask people to dumb down their personalities any further. You're just going to give me more to judge and criticize.
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Haha! You can't even MAKE yourself stop, can you?
PS @ yioooooooooooo:
Take the wise words of the ancient ones:
Turn on, tune in, drop out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vfkKisbt44
(for any ancient ones in the house that wanna tap me on the hand for that: SHHH! I'm evolving it! there's more than one way to do that:)
OR
Rule number one: Don't sweat the small stuff.
Rule number two: It's all small stuff:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Leave Gwynneth alone! She's a very intellegent activist!
Submitted by Tubereuse on October 31, 2008 - 2:52pm.
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LMAO about Crocs Batali.. OMG he does always wear those fucking Crocs.. Ew, stinky sweaty smelly STOP
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And I'm the one who loves you when You're fucking Dead!
http://www.amazon.com/Zoogster-Costumes-Malice-Wonderland-Costume/dp/B00...
I saw the PBS show too and it sucked.
I saw her and Mario Batali on Orca Winfrey, pimping their PBS show about them eating their way across Spain. Crocs Batali said Fishy eats like a hog and would put away an entire tray of paella on her own . . . (and if I recall, doesn't that have rice?) . . . anyway, then Paltry started making faces like she was in pain and couldn't wait to get outta there
Most of the background chatter in our mind is worrying, judging, criticizing, defending and complaining.
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Those are called thoughts and ideas you wan, new age dullard. Please don't ask people to dumb down their personalities any further. You're just going to give me more to judge and criticize.
I'll take my two tacos for .99c at 1:00 am from Jack in the Crack diet over hers any day.
Her and her Paul Bettany face.
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by M.E. on October 31, 2008 - 2:23pm.
Stocky - Please dont remind me that this twat and her boring ass movie won Oscars over Saving Private Ryan.
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the only reason that happened is cuz people were sick of seeing Tom Hanks movies win all the time...but I agree.
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
Oil-blotting facial papers work wonders.
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People are crazy and times are strange.
This is what most nutritonists and dieticians will suggest for you anyway. There's nothing special about this at all. In fact, if you moderate based on what she says, you'll probably feel a lot better. Getting 8 hours of sleep is quite challenging for most of us, even not eating for 12 hours after your last meal would be difficult, but think about it, you last ate your dinner @ 7pm-8pm the next time you'd eat would be uhm, what, 7am? That seems ok to me. I'm not even awake @ 7am, and I don't get hungry until around 10am! The exercise regimen seems fair as well.
Your face!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 31, 2008 - 2:09pm.
Question: you are stuck in a broken down elevator with Fishsticks, how much time passes before you simply have to strangle the life out of this pretentious twat?
Ugh. Even worse, you are stuck with Fishsticks and Vadge. How much time passes until you are a double murderer?
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I'd be shimmying up the cable even if the elevator wasn't broken!
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I hated her instantly. With all my guts: George
Dead Like Me - Halloween Episode
Stocky - Please dont remind me that this twat and her boring ass movie won Oscars over Saving Private Ryan.
Still pisses me the fuck off to this day.
Shakespeare in Love was a CRAPPY fucking movie. I fell asleep in the GD theater.
The ideal is that you eat six times a day, 3 meals 3 snacks and don't eat anything after 8pm. The body's natural function (according to our rhythmns) is to shut down for the nite during that eight hour sleep. Of course we know it don't always work out that way but that's part of why we're so fat, pigging out late nites and going sleep on it.
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When you see me again I hope you have been the kind of person you really are now.
Submitted by Miss Priss on October 31, 2008 - 2:19pm.
The not eating after 12 hours of your last meal thing is ridiculous. Eat when you're hungry, bitch
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I know.. My MIL's sister once was like "well I read in the bible that you are to eat ONLY when your belly growles"
And I'm like "you got wolves in there?"
Submitted by angel_i on October 31, 2008 - 2:15pm
I missed all of you too.
I thought that when you reachd 12 grade it was going to be easy. I hate preparing for college.I dont even have time to read dlisted.:(
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
The not eating after 12 hours of your last meal thing is ridiculous. Eat when you're hungry, bitch
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BRAAAAIIIINNNNNZZZ!
Submitted by KD on October 31, 2008 - 2:10pm
I dont sleep 8 hours I sleep around 6 to seven. But if you sleep 8 hours and dont eat for 12 you skip a meal aniway. Thats not good for you.
I touched post comment before ending the comment.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by oklahoma on October 31, 2008 - 2:11pm.
Remember when Alicia Silverstone went all Vegan for a bit, and was all creepy, she looked like this too.. alll shiney and zitty..
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Okie, 'they' will tell you that the zits and large pores and greasy skin are your body's idea of 'detoxing' from the evils you have previously lived. lol
Seriously? EVERYTHING in moderation. Eating too much of something that is even GOOD for you can often times cause you to become ALLERGIC. One hamburger and fries or a few slices of pizza a month will not kill ya and like the mighty cockroach...it's a germ infested, nast food eatin', salt of the sludge pits people that will survive. I keed. I keed. -But, with tomatoes and hot peppers and spinach scares...wtf DO ya eat with any guarantee of safety? Yep. Garden your own food and try and raise your own livestock...NOT. Well, the gardening part isn't impossible but there is no way in hell I could raise a lamb or a cow or even a chicken and then slaughter it. I'm a wuss. Yep. I'd name them all and they'd end up as pets. Damn. Why does meat have to taste so good? :\
Watching this dumb bitch on that PBS show "Eating our fat rich asses through Spain" with Fishsticks and Mario Lard-Crocs Batali is truly disgusting. This is the very worst of reality shows. I'd like to think that I'm a pretentious slut, but these cocksuckers have me beat! Really, Michael Stipe, Paltrow, Batali glowing about the endless tapas brought to them by a kow-towing Spanish waiter, like they never had food before. It's priceless!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 31, 2008 - 2:09pm.
Question: you are stuck in a broken down elevator with Fishsticks, how much time passes before you simply have to strangle the life out of this pretentious twat?
Ugh. Even worse, you are stuck with Fishsticks and Vadge. How much time passes until you are a double murderer?
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Or the victim of suicide.
Submitted by yiooooooo on October 31, 2008 - 2:08pm.
who wants to look like shit??
PS:''Don't eat for 12 hours after your last meal"
a Normal human being needs to eat 6 times a day (3 meals and 3 snacks), theres 24 hours in one day devided by 6 is 4 , people need to eat every four hour.
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O, how I've missed yioooooooo! (;x)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Bitch looks beat.
She needs the blood of young virgins ala Vadge.
she needs pore strips to remove those blackheads
Who is she kidding? Everyone knows she's an alchie who drinks gallons of wine.
I just want to squeeze all of the goo from her blackheads. Yes, it's a sickness.
MC, thanks, baby. I tried callin' you a while back but got the A-M. lol :)
Remember when Alicia Silverstone went all Vegan for a bit, and was all creepy, she looked like this too.. alll shiney and zitty..
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And I'm the one who loves you when You're fucking Dead!
http://www.amazon.com/Zoogster-Costumes-Malice-Wonderland-Costume/dp/B00...
Submitted by yiooooooo on October 31, 2008 - 2:08pm.
It says "after your last meal". You shouldn't eat within 3-4 hours of going to bed, then if you sleep for 8 hrs, add that together and you get 12 hours. You are actually supposed to eat every 3 hours, not 4.
Funny this bitch's "health" advice was issued on the same day she canceled an appearance for Obama in Virginia ... because she was ill.
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“You are obsolete ... look at all the white men on the street."
Question: you are stuck in a broken down elevator with Fishsticks, how much time passes before you simply have to strangle the life out of this pretentious twat?
Ugh. Even worse, you are stuck with Fishsticks and Vadge. How much time passes until you are a double murderer?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I don't know if anything pisses me off more then when these celebrity idiots tell me how to live my life.
Just get drunk and fall down so we can all laugh at you.
who wants to look like shit??
PS:''Don't eat for 12 hours after your last meal"
a Normal human being needs to eat 6 times a day (3 meals and 3 snacks), theres 24 hours in one day devided by 6 is 4 , people need to eat every four hour.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by Stock Broker on October 31, 2008 - 2:04pm.
How in the hell this untalented, pretentious hag won an Oscar is beyond me.
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That was when she was kinda the flavor of the month...wasn't she still with Brad Pitt at time too?
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"