A Potato In The Ass
A vicar waddled into an emergency room at a hospital in Sheffield, UK complaining about a potato in his ass. (Note: The spud pictured is not the dildo tater in question even though it looks like it has butt bits on it.) The vicar used the oldest excuse in the butt fucking manual: he fell on it.
The clergyman said he was hanging up some curtains in the nude when he accidentally fell on a potato lying on the kitchen table behind him. That damn potato! It was just laying there, in his way, all lubed up and ready to go!
One of the nurses told The Sun that he insisted he wasn't doing butt sex with the potato. The potato doesn't swing that way. The vicar kept telling the hospital that he was simply decorating his windows while naked. Being nekkid probably brings out the Martha Stewart in him.
I don't know why he had to go to the hospital for this shit. If he was doing his daily sphincter exercises, like everyone should, he could have easily mashed that potato with his ass. Then he would've had a delicious side dish of mashed taters and ass gravy!
Yes, I think so. I saw similar articles at the famous fitness & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^FitnessKiss. C O M^^ ^^^^.
*looks around*
I was never here!!!!
*runs away*
Submitted by xxyxz on November 1, 2008 - 11:00pm.
*looks for Downy*
Hi Socky!!!
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*pops head out of hamper* *looks both ways* Uh..Did somebody mention Downy?!!
xxyxz!!!! I'm so happy to see you! *jumps out of hamper into your arms* *sock monkey hugs & smooches*
ON TOPIC: I ain't wanting to eat potatoes for a very long time!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
*looks for Downy*
Hi Socky!!!
Submitted by sexyer22ds on November 1, 2008 - 8:02pm.
I am a petite curvy blonde who wants to reignite her social life.
I love dancing, music and travel - I am in the process of planning a trip to Petra. Would you care to join me?
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No, but I do recommend fuckapotato . com! The french fries are to die for! STFU!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
You all want my ass potato...Admit it...You fantasize, but you can never have...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I am a petite curvy blonde who wants to reignite her social life.
I love dancing, music and travel - I am in the process of planning a trip to Petra. Would you care to join me? ____ http://DateRichSingleS.com ____ Free site!~ You can meet lots of nice girls like me
That guy has a amazing fast metabolism!
***** If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the "up"-button ****
That potato looks like it has venereal warts. That's why I always tell my friend to be careful who you let into your inner sanctum. But seriously, a physician friend told me about an emergency room case in which a man had put a fire cracker up his bum and exploded it. Miraculously, he lived!
Clarisse, I was a rather naive 20 year old at the time (early 1990s) and was unaware anyone would want to do that. The doctors took great delight in telling me some very stomach churning tales.
Friday nights, for some reason, was "orifice" night, entertaining and hardly any of them were drunk - which would have been a great excuse.
Condiment bottles of course. But yes, there were at least three separate occasions that some guy came in with a lightbulb stuck up his bum. In one case it had broken - he complained that his friend had stuck in up the wrong way and he couldn't get it back out.
Wonder what they do now in the age of energy saving bulbs.
When I did medical transcription for an ER, there were many reports where the person (always male) came in had some object stuck up his ass. It was a crystal bud vase one time, I recall. They ALWAYS claimed to have fallen on it. "Well, I was hanging curtains in the nude and fell on this potato," is completely in line with explanations I typed up.
As an aside, the doctors DO laugh at you after you've left with your instructions and remonstrations not to shove something up your ass again.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on November 1, 2008 - 10:45am.
MizRo: Especially since you can purchase, completely anonymously, objects for that very purpose, that will not get stuck up in there.
Unless the potato was making eyes at him.
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hahahhahahahhhaa
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I don't go 'round trying to be what I'm not
I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you
and that's why I do what I do
-Erykah Badu "Appletree"
Tibs!!!
I'm not in the "i stick odd things in my asshole" club, but of ALL the things you can stick up your ass the last thing i would choose is a LIGHTBULB!!
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Give me silver, blue and gold
The color of the sky I'm told
My rainbow is overdue
Submitted by Tibs on November 1, 2008 - 11:30am.
More proof that the grapefruit diet is unhealthy.
As an ex-nurse I can say that you'd be surprised how many people turn up at A&E (ER for Americans) with things stuck into their orifices.
Lightbulbs seem to be very popular things to stick up the bumhole whereas the most unusual I ever dealt with was a rather posh lady who had tried to get intimate with a grapefruit. A whole grapefruit. Unpeeled naturally. I suppose she thought otherwise it would have stung a bit.
It was well and truly stuck.
Try dealing with that professionally when all you want to do is snigger like a 7-year-old.
In case you ho's missed it last night, here's my public service announcement for those tempted to fornicate with produce.
Does anybody have that vicar's email address? We can send him these links.
This is my good deed for the day on behalf of UK clergy.
http://www.pugbus.net/artman/publish/07297002_11_hersheyhighway.shtml
http://www.passionshop.com/Anal-Buster-7-Inch-Blue-nov037335.html?id=9vk...
http://www.passionshop.com/Anal-Invader-nov181350.html?id=9vkNJa5j
Pfötchenstellung!
*looks around*
*squeezes butt cheeks together*
What the...
*wiggles ass*
What...
*sticks index finger in poo shoot*
Hey!!!!! Who put a potato up my bum??? Who did this?? God...is that you??
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Give me silver, blue and gold
The color of the sky I'm told
My rainbow is overdue
ImperptinentVixen: Gotta watch those potato eyes, they get all mushy and make one want to do bad things!! Hahaha!! *muah*
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on November 1, 2008 - 10:45am.
Unless the potato was making eyes at him.
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LOL
'You've never had a 'root' like me before', it said.
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Wyle E Coyote
I would put on my coochie-eatin' flannel, dab a little tuna juice on my no-no hole and scream, "Home Depot! Here we come!"
MizRo: Especially since you can purchase, completely anonymously, objects for that very purpose, that will not get stuck up in there.
Unless the potato was making eyes at him.
Somebody (who was that?) posted on here yesterday a story about a guy who shoved a mackeral or something up his arse.
All I'm thinking about now when I see this potato is...
fish 'n chips!!!
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Wyle E Coyote
I would put on my coochie-eatin' flannel, dab a little tuna juice on my no-no hole and scream, "Home Depot! Here we come!"
I know people are kinky but why stick something up your butt that may get lodged in there?
How humiliating and absolutely bizarre.
I can sympathize with the vicar. Recently, while standing on a ladder in the nude to change a light bulb in Reese's ceiling fan, I fell onto a string of pearls, which became lodged in my rectum. Reese slowly pulled out the necklace so I didn't have to go to the ER.
LOL...pootine.
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Give away the green grass, give away the sky,
But don't give away my alligator pie.
Did the ER at least ask him if he wanted 'fries with that' LMAO I crack myself up!!
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Rippy Razor Says "It's down the block, not across the street!!"
They even had horse in that clip!
no prince charles... or percy. Percy was my favourite!
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I hated her instantly. With all my guts: George
Dead Like Me - Halloween Episode
Submitted by TITS on October 31, 2008 - 10:55pm.
Dave Dobbyn ~ A Slice of Heaven.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQT0t2s1MoE
OMG OMG that's DOG!!!
i have 18 of those comic books in my bathroom right now!
.... are you guys watching me pee or something?
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YEAH!
Hey, I gotta lotta faith in you
I'll stick with you kid, that's the bottom line
Yeah, we have a lot of fun don't we
And heaven has to be with you all the time
Hey beauty when the mood gets you down
Your bottom lip's near dragging on the ground
That's when I gotta play the clown for you
Black humour made me kick my blues
Dave Dobbyn ~ A Slice of Heaven.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQT0t2s1MoE
OMG OMG that's DOG!!!
i have 18 of those comic books in my bathroom right now!
.... are you guys watching me pee or something?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
I hated her instantly. With all my guts: George
Dead Like Me - Halloween Episode
Was it peeled?
Hysteria... Happy Halloweenie to you too, hor!
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Submitted by Sandbitch on October 31, 2008 - 9:23pm.
Come on over and toot my flute.
....
*TOOT* Urgghh...tastes like sand.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Hey, IG - Consider it done! I'm ready to warm up the TV and call it a Fryday! Happy Halloween ;))
.
Hysteria, do it! I will live vicariously through you--- I forgot to buy any.
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
IG -
"Watt UP?" AHhahaha! ;))
Glad I stopped by tonight. The tricksters have been slooow. I'm just gonna throw the candy out onto the lawn and let them have at it.
.
Submitted by Hysteria on October 31, 2008 - 9:30pm.
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Watt??? OK, that was bad. :0)
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob DylanSubmitted by Hysteria on October 31, 2008 - 9:30pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on October 31, 2008 - 9:27pm.
"Bright idea"! HAHAHA! Thas a good un, IG! Funny girl.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on October 31, 2008 - 9:25pm.
lol! Yeah, and that was just one example. Some he didnt even want to talk about. hehe.
.
I guess it seemed like a bright idea at the time??
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Submitted by Hysteria on October 31, 2008 - 9:23pm.
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Hahahahahahaha! Hoooooly! That gives new meaning to *you think the sun shines outta your ass*
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Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
Submitted by Sheeps on October 31, 2008 - 9:05pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 31, 2008 - 9:04pm.
What does a tiger dress up as?
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A vegan in waiting....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Hysteria, a LIGHTBULB?
I can't imagine putting anything up my ass, but a lightbulb?
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And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years
-The Beatles "For No One"
Submitted by Sheeps on October 31, 2008 - 9:05pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on October 31, 2008 - 9:04pm.
What does a tiger dress up as?
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Why a PUNKIN silly!
Now this has nought to do with punkins but I'd like to share my favourite happy song from some of our Kiwi bro's. Check them hunky Maori dudes hehe. Come on over and toot my flute.
Dave Dobbyn ~ A Slice of Heaven.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQT0t2s1MoE
Submitted by joe shmoe on October 31, 2008 - 9:16pm.
Hahahaha! The fins. Obviously didnt think that one thru!
The one that "sticks" in my mind is the guy who stuck a light bulb up thar. Um, the socket is in the ceiling fudge brain! You can imagine the consequences.
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Submitted by islandgirl on October 31, 2008 - 8:52pm.
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We haven't had one trick or treater. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we're sitting here, in the dark, wearing nothing but our kerchiefs. And that WAS a euphemism. :-)
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Are the parents rushing their kids by your house, whispering at them not to look at the nasty naked people? Hahahahahahaha! (If so, save your candy for me)
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Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
Submitted by jiggywiddit on October 31, 2008 - 9:12pm.
Yeah, you're distracted, bent over, bum up in the air, it's the perfect opportunity, and they take it...over, and over again---Tigerlilly
I fell so cheap, so used. Vegan Seducers be damned!!
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That's how those Vegan cult fiends getchu! They say it's all your fault...You wanted it...Don't believe them, you don't want their rapist vegetables, you want MEAT...
You want slim jims and corn dogs...you know you do...you want a meatball sub and some summer sausage, you want a Honey Baked Ham and a T-Bone steak, you want an entire Rotisserie chicken to yourself...You know you do...and NONE of these meat products would ever violate you like those SICK PERVERTED vegetables have...I feel yout pain and Amen...Oh, but can we augment the above menu with some mashed potatoes? Who doesn't love that shit?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by joe shmoe on October 31, 2008 - 9:16pm.
Someone posted on here about a man who shoved a frozen fish up there and it partially defrosted and the fins got wedged....
What happened to good old fashioned dating?
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Seriously! I like fish as much as the next person (well, not to eat), but you wouldn't catch me shoving them in my hoo ha. ESPECIALLY not the frozen ones. :)
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Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.
--Bob Dylan
Submitted by Hysteria on October 31, 2008 - 9:11pm.
A friend worked in an ER. He said you could never, ever believe the things people shove put their ass.
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But what a strange thing to ahhh..put up there. Someone posted on here about a man who shoved a frozen fish up there and it partially defrosted and the fins got wedged....
What happened to good old fashioned dating?
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Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
Yeah, you're distracted, bent over, bum up in the air, it's the perfect opportunity, and they take it...over, and over again---Tigerlilly
I fell so cheap, so used. Vegan Seducers be damned!!
"It's too much to process."--MK
A friend worked in an ER. He said you could never, ever believe the things people shove put their ass.
.