A Potato In The Ass
A vicar waddled into an emergency room at a hospital in Sheffield, UK complaining about a potato in his ass. (Note: The spud pictured is not the dildo tater in question even though it looks like it has butt bits on it.) The vicar used the oldest excuse in the butt fucking manual: he fell on it.
The clergyman said he was hanging up some curtains in the nude when he accidentally fell on a potato lying on the kitchen table behind him. That damn potato! It was just laying there, in his way, all lubed up and ready to go!
One of the nurses told The Sun that he insisted he wasn't doing butt sex with the potato. The potato doesn't swing that way. The vicar kept telling the hospital that he was simply decorating his windows while naked. Being nekkid probably brings out the Martha Stewart in him.
I don't know why he had to go to the hospital for this shit. If he was doing his daily sphincter exercises, like everyone should, he could have easily mashed that potato with his ass. Then he would've had a delicious side dish of mashed taters and ass gravy!
ShareThis
What does this ASStato remind me of? Hmm. Think-think-think. Aww. Poor Tara Reid. :((
@Leona- Thanks for the link. The can of deoderant floored me. Is there an epidemic going on in Sheffield? Lots of ass treasure being lost and found.
Submitted by QueenCharisma on October 31, 2008 - 5:58pm.
Fucking whorish potato seducing a man of the cloth!
*********************
Agreed, Queenie: look at its vixen eyes.
Pota-ho. Whore-Ida.
Pfötchenstellung!
Submitted by louise_brooks on October 31, 2008 - 6:13pm.
**********
Hahahaa exactly! Love your avie.
***********
Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
WHAT! Oh my god how can you just straight up lie like that? How do things just "magically/accidentally" wind up lodged in somebody's anus?!
haha @ "potatovert"
Brings a whole new meaning to the words "Harvest Festival"...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
I'm more concerned bout bin laid off than Bin Laden
I know all you serious journalists out there demand proof, so here's the link:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1876886.ece
Why is everyone so suspicious? I hang my curtains in the nude all the time.
Pfötchenstellung!
Good job it wasn't an onion, that would have brought tears to his eyes...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
I'm more concerned bout bin laid off than Bin Laden
Submitted by joe shmoe on October 31, 2008 - 6:01pm.
Hmmmm life imitating art: George Constanza's father fell on Fusilli Jerry and got it lodged up his arse.
The procotologist said "They always say that they *fell* on it".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought the same thing. "Million-to-one shot, doc! Million-to-one."
I would like to see the potatoe up his ass. Any pictures???? Seriously.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Now I know why so many kitchens in the midwest have these unsightly structures in the corners of their kitchens for storing potatoes and onions.
Anyone familiar with these? Usually they have "Taters and onions" carved into the top. If the poor Vicar had one of those, this "accident" would never have happened. Safety first!
Submitted by Sweetas on October 31, 2008 - 6:07pm.
Dot LOL!!
Potatovert.
-
Tater Toucher! *giggles like a loon*
That wasn't an accident it was a dinner and a date..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
I'm more concerned bout bin laid off than Bin Laden
Dot LOL!!
Potatovert.
LOL @ Thornhill
*******************************************
"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass" - Cordelia Chase, Buffy
I love JRM!!!!
Eeewww Gratin..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
I'm more concerned bout bin laid off than Bin Laden
Submitted by Sweetas on October 31, 2008 - 5:59pm.
Damn, he's lucky he didn't have a pineapple sitting on the table. *snort*
-
-Or a prickly pear [cacti to the lay person]. *Double snort*
I wonder how long and hard he strained, sweated, cried, and thought about the best story before he finally made his way into the ER.
Having not had any experience with produce in my ass, wouldn't one just theoretically push those things out? Like when you poop?
"he would've had a delicious side dish of mashed taters and ass gravy"
MK, there is something rotten going on in your mind for you to even consider typing that!! I fucking love mashed potato and you've killed that dish for me.
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by devilgirl on October 31, 2008 - 5:55pm.
I bet his ass is like a Salad Shooter.
LMAO!!
MK "The potato doesn't swing that way." LOL!!
Damn, he's lucky he had a potato rapist and not a pineapple.
Hmmmm life imitating art: George Constanza's father fell on Fusilli Jerry and got it lodged up his arse.
The procotologist said "They always say that they *fell* on it".
***********
Love's mysteries in souls do grow, But yet the body is his book.
~John Donne
IT LOOKS LIKE COCO'S GENITALIA. RIGHT AFTER SHE HAS GOT DONE SCREWING THAT THING SHE CALLS A PARTNER AND HER LABIA MAJOR STARTS SWINGING AND FLAPPING AROUND IN THE BREEZE AND OOZING FUCK JUICE.
Holy shit a potato.
Produce is out of control. There oughta be a law.
Fucking whorish potato seducing a man of the cloth!
******************************************
"Tact is just not saying true stuff - I'll pass" - Cordelia Chase, Buffy
I love JRM!!!!
God damn, you know ass plugs aren't even that expensive. And even if they were, they could save you a whole lot of embarassing question later on.
-----------------------------
2008 World Series Champions
#1 Philadelphia Phillies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c&feature=related
What an amateur. The best root vege for ass play is a SWEET tater. Wayyy better shape varietals. C'monnnnnnnnn.
I bet his ass is like a Salad Shooter.
Do people ever stop to think, "Hey, maybe I shouldn't make up such a bold faced lie because everybody knows I _________(enter questionable act you don't want to admit to here)"?
****
I didn't hit you. I simply high-fived your face.
Holy shit LMAO!
Damn starchy potato had it coming with all its carbs and shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick happens! - MK
I can't tell you how many times, while puttering around the house, I have had dangerous encounters with produce in my ass, doesn't everyone?