This One's Going To Last
Hef's former concubine Holly Madison and master delusionist Criss Angel came out as the newest vomit-inducing couple at the premiere of his new caca show, "Believe (in shit)," in Las Vegas last night.
Hef's ex-bitch said in the past that she was "just friends" with Piss, I mean Criss, but it's obvious she's doing inappropriate acts with him. I say "inappropriate," because no living thing should be getting it on Criss. I can't condone it and will never co-sign it.
Holly looks a little dickmatized in the eyes, but I think she's just relieved that she's with a dude who can get it up without the help of a penis pump. And she also has little Criss spermies dancing in her eyes, because this ho was ready for a baby yesterday.
I'm sure Holly and Piss will have many guinea pig-haired babies together. Her babies will have to go immediately from the delivery room to the plastic surgery room, so surgeons can make them look remotely like their mother. I mean, that bitch looks nothing like her original self.
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Yes, I believe mascara comes with the whole douchebag package! Boy, Holly sure is one lucky bunny now.
http://starcasm.net/archives/1176
http://starcasm.net When the truth doesn't hurt enough.
Is he wearing mascarra (sp)??
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 1, 2008 - 9:47pm.
Maybe Hef had a hankering for a brown eyed blonde, and then he got over it. I demand to know Holly Madison's true eye colour.
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they're definitely brown. Those blue ones looked pretty freaking good though, they're usually pitifully fake looking, like when you see someone in a disney themed sweatshirt (usually "Grumpy") carrying a $1,200 Prada bag at the dollar store. You know that shit's fake.
anyways here's her school pic, she's probably 12 or so, with dark brown eyes:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=...
To my surprise, someone saw her profile with hot & sexy photos and videos on the fitness & celebrity dating club^^^^^^FitnessKiss. C O M^^ ^^^^.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 2, 2008 - 12:48am.
TITTIES!! Come and show speakit your handiwork!
bonjour.
what handiwork, possum?
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@speakit
I am relieved, more than anything.
.....
I bet! That's a load off your shoulders economically, and so reassuring and comforting emotionally to have your Dad's support.
BTW, do acrylic nails damage your real ones? I've never worn them, but I do like to paint my nails. It's therapeutic.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 2, 2008 - 12:34am.
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I am relieved, more than anything.
Sorry, I'm trying to remove my acrylic nails and it's a beeyotch. *soaking in acetone*
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 2, 2008 - 12:48am.
No, thank you! Later Sandbitch :) ♥♥♥
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 2, 2008 - 12:42am.
I can almost feel PP gasping for breath. I couldn't have done it without your fingers 2 cent, thank you.
I just popped in to say a quick howdy doody. Expecting visitors any minute and I MUST go clean the Loo before they arrive. One must have some priorities. See you sluts later.
:)
TITTIES!! Come and show speakit your handiwork!
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 2, 2008 - 12:33am.
===>> Hang on - what about the holiday in Aus?
...
Yeah! She better start saving her pennies.
BTW, that PP avi is my favourite from you today :)
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by speakit on November 2, 2008 - 12:25am.
speakit that is awesome! OMG, you are going to really start rockin once you're free and settled. Too, too great.
I swear if it wasn't for my family's occasional generosity over the years, I don't even wanna know.
And I love that you helped out your friend (even though I don't know what you did) I do believe karma is a powerful force (or I really really need to believe it!) and that that kind of generosity comes back to you somehow.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by speakit on November 2, 2008 - 12:25am.
2c,I had a most fantabulous day.
I helped out a friend and then I finally heard from my dad and he offered to help me get my own place and pay for my divorce. So, I'm beyond grateful and thrilled.
===>> Hang on - what about the holiday in Aus?
2c,I had a most fantabulous day.
I helped out a friend and then I finally heard from my dad and he offered to help me get my own place and pay for my divorce. So, I'm beyond grateful and thrilled.
I just checked back in after havin some lunch (ham, french dijon mustard, tasty cheese). I thought everyone was probably gone, and den I sees you. ♥
We been havin a fun day creating new avi's (what else is new).
Whatup wit you?
edit: spellinmv
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Hey twocents!
What's shakin' bacon?
Submitted by speakit on November 2, 2008 - 12:06am.
Heya zexy :)
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 1, 2008 - 9:58pm.
Don't know when I've been so blue
Don't know what's come over you
You've found someone new
And don't it make my brown eyes blue
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OMG When I was really young, me and my bff Rena would sing that into our microphones (hairbrushes).
right
The book that Tiger mentioned is "Bunny Tales" ($50!) by Izabella St. James:
http://www.izabellastjames.com/
I'm going to bet that's neither her proper first nor last name (she was born in Krakow).
Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 11:01pm.
You look so nice today, I almost didn’t recognize you.
.....
My fave. GOLD.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
I've heard the last "complement" before
recently lmao
No sir, I don't like it.
more 'compliments' courtesy of the internet:
You're smart to do your laundry on Saturday night, when everyone else is out.
You look like a porn star.
If you were taller, you could be a model.
Hey! Your face cleared up!
Nice dress. I've seen a lot of girls wearing it, but I think it suits you most.
I'm so jealous you don't have to wear a bra everyday.
You're really filling out.
It's so refreshing to have a conversation with someone who doesn't feel the need to prove they are smart.
I think it's so cool that you're comfortable with how you look.
That tasted better than it looked.
Most guys think they have to have a cool car, but not you.
You look so nice today, I almost didn’t recognize you.
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Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 10:29pm.
Oh oh! and if the boss is wearing purple or red - ooh i like how your eye shadow matches your top!
(had that said to me one day - wasn't wearing eye shadow - BITCH!)
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BITCH!!! Give her this one:
Thats a great top, you know I have one in another colour... but mine really suits my skintone.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 1, 2008 - 10:13pm.
Link: Check out MK's tag: TAXONOMY ~ funny fuck.
http://www.dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/25
Pre Hef blue eyes
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=holly_madison_pre_look_4_big&t...
...
I canna find the taxonomy thing :(
And, she might have contacts on there. Just cos it was a while ago doesn't mean it was before contacts were invented, she can't be that old.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Jan - no one's made that stunning (yet accurate) observation yet!
icky.
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I'm too lazy to read all the previous comments but have to say I'm kinda skeeved out that these two look like siblings. Same eyes, same chin in need of chinderwear...this is like watching Angelina kissing her brother. Ick.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on November 1, 2008 - 10:29pm.
He's about to make something disappear.
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He's about to wave his magic "wand." over Holly. Abba crabs crabba!
Hi! TV! How you doing?
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 10:29pm.
Oh oh! and if the boss is wearing purple or red - ooh i like how your eye shadow matches your top!
(had that said to me one day - wasn't wearing eye shadow - BITCH!)
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Oh, no she di'nt! STANK. ASS. HO.
shoulda told that bitch she needed a Summer's Eve talk on the beach with her mama....*holdin' nose*...OH, YES I DID...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sandbitch on November 1, 2008 - 10:21pm.
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OH THE HUMANITY!
See, here's what I believe, I believe an old person has a right to cover himself in baby oil and fuck as many plastic bimbos as he wants, but I also believe my right to keep my dinner down trumps his right of shoving this down my throat on Entertainment Tonight...Where's my Geritol????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
He's about to make something disappear.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Oh oh! and if the boss is wearing purple or red - ooh i like how your eye shadow matches your top!
(had that said to me one day - wasn't wearing eye shadow - BITCH!)
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If I was Holly et al, I would have great difficulty living with that experience. Dementia couldn't come quick enough. I bet Hef didn't either.
*
The smell of baby oil must set her off. Be fun to wave some under her nose and see what she does.
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Cris Angel & David Blaine...Hoik!! I can't stand those two bitches.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 1, 2008 - 10:21pm.
HAHA. Have you lost weight? I SWEAR I saw that outfit in the children's department. Keep up the good work!
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nice one.
"I know she can't help being ugly, but she could have stayed home"
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 1, 2008 - 10:19pm.
:)
*BIG Tiger hugs and kisses*
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 1, 2008 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 10:08pm.
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Yeah, but I askkkeeerd...And all you need to know is BABY. OIL...if that di'nt traumatize yo' azz, nothin' will... Hef all hopped up on Viagra covered in Baby oil???? Did you block that shit out with some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
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Yes.
If I was Holly et al, I would have great difficulty living with that experience. Dementia couldn't come quick enough. I bet Hef didn't either.
**hoik**
baby oil/hugh hefner
**HOIK**
Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 10:17pm.
2c - love those backhanded compliments!!
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HAHA. Have you lost weight? I SWEAR I saw that outfit in the children's department. Keep up the good work!
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Seriously, I used to use baby oil to moisturize my situation (not my sexy).
Okay... that gives me paws. Anyone help me with this? wtf is a situation? your bum?
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on November 1, 2008 - 10:09pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 1, 2008 - 9:56pm.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Is there a National Take MyTwoCents to Work Day in this Country? Because there needs to be!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
2c - love those backhanded compliments!!
You should come to the (event of your choice - yoga, weight training etc) at the community centre on Sunday - you'd love it, just love it!! It's seniors only, but don't worry, I'm sure they won't ask for ID.
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Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 10:08pm.
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Yeah, but I askkkeeerd...And all you need to know is BABY. OIL...if that di'nt traumatize yo' azz, nothin' will... Hef all hopped up on Viagra covered in Baby oil???? Did you block that shit out with some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder???? Seriously, I used to use baby oil to moisturize my situation (not my sexy), but since I read that book, I just cant....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Link: Check out MK's tag: TAXONOMY ~ funny fuck.
http://www.dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/25
Pre Hef blue eyes
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=holly_madison_pre_look_4_big&t...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 1, 2008 - 9:56pm.
You should throw that bitch some backhanded compliments. You know like "Wow, you don't look at ALL like a skank today, just nothing like a skank in the least. I have to say that skank is the furthest word from my mind I could think of when I look at you". Ya know. Sumfin like that.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 1, 2008 - 9:59pm.
No, it's the shit I posted earlier from the bunny book. I just deleted it, cuz I quoted and wasn't sure it that should stay up for too long....Know what I mean, Vern?
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er... no.
because it's copyrighted (giggle) or because of the content.
either way fuck it says I.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on November 1, 2008 - 9:56pm.
(My boss wif some JACKED UP teef that look worse than any "tiger eyes", that is...BITCH!)
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Oh the wonderful stuff you can't blurt out in the workplace. Unlike that lady in the airport escorting Kate Hudson.
Get the furck outta mah way N let me do mah jurrb!
Holly's eyes:
TEAM BLUE.
Submitted by TITS on November 1, 2008 - 10:02pm.
Tiger - you didn't want to give away that you can see in the dark?
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AHAHAHAHA! Bitch shoulda thought a that 'fo she open her mouf...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@Sandbitch on November 1, 2008 - 9:58pm.
Ohhh Crystal Gale!
I always thought Holly had brown eyes, like Gwen Stefani.
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Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Tiger - you didn't want to give away that you can see in the dark?
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