What Else Is She Good For?
When the biggest skeezer in the entire universe, Wonky McValtrex, first meets a dude, instead of shaking his hand, she shakes his dick....with her pussy. This is why the skank shouldn't be surprised that humans with peens only see her as a jizz bank and an ATM.
Wonky cried fake tears out of her one good eye and told the News of the World: “Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people. After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me."
The sad part is that she's barely even good for sex! I've seen her sex tape and the bitch lays there like a salamander on Ambien.
Wonky is barely figuring out what we've all known for years. When a dude has you listed as "cum bag" in his cell phone, maybe you should pry open your wonk eye with your skank hand and get a clue.
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Why won't this trash just go away?
Farrah- my parents are apparently starting a Doxie rescue. Well, not really, but they may as well. Although, you probably live too far away from them for that to be useful information.
first let me say I DESPISE THIS SLUT..TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH...she is the only person that makes me want to smash my computer, but instead I take fingers to keyboard and let it all out! Here I am struggling like a mo-fo, trying to make one end meet another every two weeks,and barely doing it...so this slut bag from hell is born into all this wealth, and what does she do...act worse than the skankiest crackiest crack ho that ever walked the earth...and then whines and cries when people see her as nothing but that! God, everyday I say, man if I was born into money, how would I live...and then I see this slutty, skanky whiny little...o.k., I digress, I hate her and wish she would just die...nuff said!
that sound you hear is the world's smallest violin playing "My Heart Pumps Piss for Paris."
What a jizz rag.
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
Do you remember when, a year ago, some news agency decided not to report on anything PH did for a while month? Yeah, that was nice.
I am SHOCKED, Paris' thinks people only want to use her for sex and fame.
Really Paris?
At this point wouldn't it have been more prudent to claim the exact opposite?
You are like the fucking STD Plague.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
There are no words to express how much my heart breaks for this lovely woman.
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"Just when I think you are the shallowest man alive you manage to drain a little more out of the pool."
I guess its 'whore' monday
Submitted by NovaNightly on November 3, 2008 - 3:00pm.
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excuse me, but,is that yer doggie??? is it a mini doxie? is she/he a sweetheart? and most important, would you be interested in a couple of monste....er...doxies like that??? They come with a first aid kit...
and who the fuck does this bitch is? picks up the phone while on sexi times, pepaw Hilton said Wonky would not get a penny and third: HOW DARE SHE SAY BENJI MADDEN WOULD WANT HER FOR HER GIAND MANGINA OR $$$??? we're still fishing for the poor guy here. I'll schedule a search team again. Hazmat suit mandatory.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
YUCK. I think this bitch is so fug, she is getting uglier and trannier with each passing day. Fuckin foul. NO MORE PARIS POSTS who really gives a shit.
'U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi your ugly.'
yeah Paris, so having a REALITY SHOW where you look for new "genuine" BFFs is the way to go.
I FUCKING HATE THIS STUPID BITCH SO MUCH.
PLEASE DIE NOW.
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Don't drink don't smoke what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something he's hiding
-Adam Ant "Goody Two Shoes"
Submitted by JordanBratman on November 3, 2008 - 2:30pm.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on November 3, 2008 - 2:17pm.
Boy, gays sure can hate on beautiful women--good humor though.
Paris is beautful? Try saying that when you've actually meet her. She looks better in pics than she does in real life.
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I can't imagine I will ever move in the same circles as her and meet her in person, but having seen every inch of her at one time or another, I think she's beautiful--at least compared to me or the kind of gals I can reasonably expect to hook up with.... ;)
Yes, there are better, but my general observation still stands.
I'd like to use her as a glittery pinata.
Well, honey, considering you give sex to so many people, is it really a shocker you have to wonder this?
Why doth she complain? She only has money and sex to offer! What on earth else is there? She is the one who has played the dumb-skank character for the world and is surprised she is treated like a toilet.
Sticking your peen into this one is the equivalent of stirring cold, lumpy porridge.
--thanks awfully--
Careful Your Mom, don't use the entire week's good news up in one day. We'll be screwed here by Friday at this rate! Congrats on the world lookin' up for ya, doll. *big hug*
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
LOL Nova: that explains that show they kept plugging on TLC yesterday, "I had no idea I was pregnant"
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Nitty--It's a Monday, too. I was dreading waking up today but ended up being ecstatic because I finally received my unemployment checks AND I found my long-lost cousin on Facebook. Then I come here and there's a Wonky post? *gasp* I'm in fucking heaven!
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
LMAO @ Nitwitty, Hoolrah, Your Mom, Snowy, Nova...
My tummy's aching... I think I won't need the gym today...
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Marge, she pays them by the ounce? Good one, Nova! Now do we know if she ever visited brangelina about a year ago?
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Earth to wonky, why the hell else would they be with you? The free STDs?
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Surfing the apocalypse.
This is why all the women in Hollywood are having so many babies....Paris gets around them and sneezes...causing a giant burst of semen to come shooting out of her in all directions and impregnating all the women in sight with multiple babies. lmao
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
LMAO, Snowy!! I now can't get the image of a little sperm with a life perserver out of my wacked head!!! hahahaha
Your Mom, I dunno why this is striking me as so damn funny today either. It is a good day!
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
LOL, I'm having a fucking great day!
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
LOL Lory and Hoolrah
Paris Hilton is so full of cum her crabs wear floaties.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Hahaha, Nitty! One of those fatter straws...
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
hahahahahaa!! gayken
*dying*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
LMAO, Your Mom!
working off your last one:
Paris Hilton is sooo full of cum that Clay Gayken follows her around with a sippy straw.
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Paris is SO full of cum that she makes Clay Aiken confused about his sexuality.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
LMAO, Lory!
Paris Hilton is SO full of come that after she uses a public toilet there are 29 immaculate conceptions.
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Hahahaha, Lory! Awesome.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Paris Hilton is Bristol Palin's baby daddy.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Hoolrah! Kudos! That was fucking funny.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Submitted by NitWitty on November 3, 2008 - 2:45pm.
@Your Mom. Prolly not. Tell me, did she use the shake and bake method?
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I'm guessing so, considering the bitch probably can't cook for shit.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
ha ha ha!! you all are funny beesches :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Hoolrah!!! hahahahahahahaaa
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Paris Hilton is soo full of cum that Jennifer Aniston sat on her face.
@Your Mom. Prolly not. Tell me, did she use the shake and bake method?
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Nitty and Snowy: I'm sure I won't be hearing about either of you eating any cheesecake for a long, long time! Sorry bout that.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Paris Hilton is so full of cum that her gynocologist mistook her vag for a mayonnaise jar.
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Skeezer.
Tee hee!
Snowy! LMAOOO! Get outa' my head! I went there too!
The cheesecake got me too!
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Submitted by snowpiece on November 3, 2008 - 2:37pm.
Your Mom: nothing beats the cheesecake! ♥ i was thinking "she can make Brie in her panties" but then it all got mixed up with panty pudding in my head and I lost it, LOL wtf am I thinking about this for ewwwwwwwww!
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A "Making brie in her panties" joke would be great to explain the leakage from her Chlamydia (sp?)!
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Angel_i, LOL! How true is it?
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
Paris Hilton is SO full of cum, the janitors follow her around with a mop when she goes into a porno theater.
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Your Mom: nothing beats the cheesecake! ♥ i was thinking "she can make Brie in her panties" but then it all got mixed up with panty pudding in my head and I lost it, LOL wtf am I thinking about this for ewwwwwwwww! ;)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Paris is SO full of cum that, if she ever had an epileptic seizure, she would literally be a protein shake.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
PT Bull,
Most of the negative comments about Paris Hilton come from other women so shove it with "gays hating on a beautiful woman". And Wonky is the furthest thing from beauty.
Paris Hilton is SO full of cum she sloshes when she walks. True story.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Good one, Snowy! lol!
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown