What Else Is She Good For?
When the biggest skeezer in the entire universe, Wonky McValtrex, first meets a dude, instead of shaking his hand, she shakes his dick....with her pussy. This is why the skank shouldn't be surprised that humans with peens only see her as a jizz bank and an ATM.
Wonky cried fake tears out of her one good eye and told the News of the World: “Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people. After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me."
The sad part is that she's barely even good for sex! I've seen her sex tape and the bitch lays there like a salamander on Ambien.
Wonky is barely figuring out what we've all known for years. When a dude has you listed as "cum bag" in his cell phone, maybe you should pry open your wonk eye with your skank hand and get a clue.
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nitty and angel, thanks ladies..
2Di4.. hahahaha totally about the one good eye on the show.. it is weird man.. that half sofa thing she lays on to talk to the camera with her damn head turned sideways!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on November 3, 2008 - 1:50pm.
Submitted by missy on November 3, 2008 - 1:47pm.
hahaa is she really all "salamander-on-ambien" in her sex tape? anyone seen it?
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I endured part of it and it was just as much of a snoozer as Kim K's. My conclusion: Faux socialites can't fuck for shit.
"I'm John McCain, and I approve this mess!"
Submitted by 2Di4 on November 3, 2008 - 1:48pm.
her show is painful. i saw it one day because i was too lazy to find the remote. she spends the entire 30 minutes in profile, with her good eye looking at the camera. creepy.
^^^^^^^^^^
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That does sound creepy as hell! I haven't been able to bring myself to watch the show; I'm afraid it might induce serious shit attacks.
The NOTW article was shit-inducing itself; the balding interviewer was obviously sucking up to her for a couple of Olan Mills-type pictures that he can now carry around in his wallet, and she looks more like a bird than ever.
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
"After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me."
That is a question I want answered also. The crotch rot alone should make a guy run
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Bye! Good
I thought she sais she's really only had sex with like 5 of her boyfriends. Lie teller!
I've said it once, I will say it again: Can we crate Paris,Aubry, Sienna and put them in a warehouse like ''Raiders of the Lost Ark''?
Anyone else we should add to the ''crate list''? Male or female.
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
cum bag? that made me laugh
I wonder how Benji Madden will react to all this...surely, their love is a true love!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Submitted by Salem13 on November 3, 2008 - 1:49pm.
Damn she looks JUST like her mother, the older she gets the more she looks like her.
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That's partly because they both frequent the same plastic surgeon.
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Submitted by angel_i on November 3, 2008 - 1:49pm.
Glad to be of service ...yeah and that's what she said!
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
hmmmm must be a slow news day
What she meant to say was "a bigger & longer peen covered in solid gold, diamonds & my saliva is what I'm looking for." Whore.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by missy on November 3, 2008 - 1:47pm.
hahaa is she really all "salamander-on-ambien" in her sex tape? anyone seen it?
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Missy, if she had looked any more bored or apathetic, she could've auditioned for a George Romero film!
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"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Damn she looks JUST like her mother, the older she gets the more she looks like her.
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2008 World Series Champions
#1 Philadelphia Phillies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c&feature=related
Cum Dumpster! That's it! (thanks miso:)
And yes, missy - except for the fact that Paris was getting punked it was a lameass vid. I have better sex when I'm sleeping. I didn't think she was SO bad at blowjobbing tho but hey, it's not like I'm a pro or anything;0
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
angel: just what I was going to say, well, then, having a reality show to find your friends would seem like a dumb ass idea, wonks.
benji! straighten this girl out for all of us, please!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
@Missy, I've seen portions of it..and she seemed more worried about where the camera was and what angle her face was pointing than the actual sex.
Angel_i, cum bag, cum bucket just don't ask her to suck it :)
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
where's the coming from? wasn't she the one clucking about how benji madden is the love of her life (for this week)?
her show is painful. i saw it one day because i was too lazy to find the remote. she spends the entire 30 minutes in profile, with her good eye looking at the camera. creepy.
And I'd just like to add: What makes this diabolical skank think that anyone possesses even an inkling of sympathy for her?
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Fart in a mitten!
Human condom!
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2008 World Series Champions
#1 Philadelphia Phillies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c&feature=related
How about sperm dumpster or fuck rag?
Is that too much or not enough?
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
She's so SPARKLY!!! I wuvs shiny things...
**so how do we get out of this one, Old Dr. Jones? I don't know kid, I don't know**
How about dog killer?
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2008 World Series Champions
#1 Philadelphia Phillies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdCrZfTkG1c&feature=related
hahaa is she really all "salamander-on-ambien" in her sex tape? anyone seen it?
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
She's used for sex? Not for nothin', but I've seen better blowjob skills from coma patients.
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"I got a rock." -- Charlie Brown
Submitted by Knuckles_Johnson on November 3, 2008 - 1:44pm.
Not sure if I would call her a cum bag. Cum bucket seems more appropriate.
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SO BIZARRE! I was thinking that myself:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Now this is karma... or payback? I dunno... She might have been better if she didn't fuck everybody over five years ago, but she thought sex and cat fights were the way to go... one hell of a role model. On the plus side, we can now tell our kids to straighten up or end up like Paris and have it be a bad thing...
**so how do we get out of this one, Old Dr. Jones? I don't know kid, I don't know**
Not sure if I would call her a cum bag. Cum bucket seems more appropriate.
Submitted by NitWitty on November 3, 2008 - 1:41pm.
Nah. Not buying it. What she meant to say is, "it's hard to trust people to capture my blow jobs on a camera phone."
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LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Bitch, please.
Nah. Not buying it. What she meant to say is, "it's hard to trust people to capture my blow jobs on a camera phone."
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"Nice to meetcha' gosh darnit. I'm Jane Winebox, and this is my hubby, Joe Sixpack."
I feel silly for asking but is that true about her being listed as cum bag on a guy's cell? Coz that would be fucking funny if it were true.
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
She told this to NOTW. Don't she got no friends? O yeah - that's right, she needs a TV show to get friends - and then she tells them to take a hike. Too bad, so sad.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
....as hot valtrexy tears flowed from her vagina...
BOO HOO!
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.