Jenny Needs To Step It Up
OMG! Jennifer Aniston is knocked up! With twins! And John Mayer is the daddy! Except there's an itty bitty problem. She's not exactly pregnant just yet.... Who cares about that! It's just petty details.
Star Magazine claims Jenny is "trying" to have a baby with John Mayer before her 40th birthday. Jen is trying all kinds of shit in order to get a baby in her busted ass oven. A source said, "She knows her baby-making years are limited. It's hard for her to think of anything else — she has babies on the brain!" I think the source was being literal. Jen is putting friend's babies on her head, hoping it will get her body in the baby mood and speed up the process.
One friend said that Jen and John are doing specific yoga poses that are supposed to help her get pregnant. Unless, they're doing the poses naked and on top of each other, I don't see how that shit can help.
The friend went on to blab, "Jen has also changed her diet. She's taking a lot of folic acid and has upped her intake of milk and beef — all of which are supposed to increase your chances of having twins. She's even eating cassava root, a wild yam, because women in Africa who consume it have the highest rate of conceived twins. "
JEN! Come on now. If you want to beat Saint Angie Jo, you're going to have to get knocked up with triplets at least! You know what you need to do? Go down and visit Michelle Duggar. Give her a gift certificate to WholesomeWear in exchange for a little vagina bumping time with her. Seriously. All you have to do is rub your snatch with hers and you'll instantly be pregnant with triplets or even quadruplets! Both you and John are "Js" and we know how Michelle feels about "Js." It's meant to be.
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Stories like these make Jen out to be so pathetic. Like she's one of these women who is so desperate to have kids that she settles for a man who serves as nothing more than a sperm donor.
He's handsome. I just saw his profile with lots of sexy pics on the FREE and HOT WEALTHY&SEXY dating site called ★★★★__ D a t e R i c h S i n g l e S. C o m__ ★★★★where wealthy and beauty find each other
I hope she can laugh off stupid stories like this. I think the idea that she's so obsessed with one-upping her ex is pretty gross, and if I had to read that kind of thing about myself, I'd be extremely insulted.
Brad is a pretty guy with lots of money, but that doesn't necessarily make him the best specimen of humanity. Maybe Aniston is better off now.
Gah. I don't even like Jennifer Aniston, and I feel that way...
"Mickey probably told Miley, 'Billy Ray ain't your father. I AM! I'm your daddy! I say when this game is over! Now go shake that ass and bring home the cheese!'" -MK, 22-09-08
EWW THAT IS SO GROSS
JOHN HAVING SEX?
YUCK
MAKES ME GAG
ACTUALLY
MAKES ME THROW UP
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
the proliferation of illegitimate children in hollyweird has become somewhat of a sick fad.
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I completely agree with that statement. That's why it's nice that Jen is holding out for marriage, whereas her ex decided to raise 6 kids out of wedlock.
Really is very sad how the public beats up on Jen to have babies (even though she's unmarried) and to try and find a husband, as if she were in a race against her ex and his illegitimate baby making machine.
Fuck Jen (let's face it: everyone has, whether it be literally or figuratively).
What's this about Lilo and Justin? Shouldn't it be Lilo and Jessica? Or better yet, SamRo and Jessica?
Stupid story the loons are just mad because she is better than angie ho.
Kevin Federline has powerful sperm as well.
I love cassava. Cassava cake! Mmmm.
Submitted by anonymous7643 on November 5, 2008 - 4:46pm.
well even if she does give up the butts, those are still gonna be some fug babies. half chin, half douche.
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And I'm sure this is coming from someone who is NOTHING TO LOOK AT. affirmative.
well even if she does give up the butts, those are still gonna be some fug babies. half chin, half douche. poor sperm donor choice.
the proliferation of illegitimate children in hollyweird has become somewhat of a sick fad.
Im sure one of Jens "friends" was the source of this big ole lie..don't believe it for a minute.
WHATEVER! I am sick of all the lies about this woman. She doesn't owe anyone a child. If she have kids good for her, if not whatever.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Looks like the tabloids like much of society is convinced that every childless woman over the age of 35 is desperate for a baby. When Kim Catrall was doing the rounds for the SATC movie someone actually asked her if there were any babies in her future and she's 52 for crying out loud.
Submitted by anonymous7643 on November 5, 2008 - 3:17pm.
JA stops drinking and chain smoking? that's going to be a tough one for her.
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actually it would surprise you what a woman will do for the sake of her unborn child. Not every woman out there stops the smoking, drinking etc before they become pregnant. But I could guarantee she would pull the plug on all of it the moment she found out she was. I wouldn't underestimate her. I have never met a woman who hasn't given' up the butts (cold turkey) the moment she found out she was pregnant (including myself).
Look at Jolie, she gave up heroin to become a mother to Maddox. And apparently that's even more addicting than nicotine.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on November 5, 2008 - 2:53pm.
Oh my God..where does Michael find these websites. That Hassidic/Morom woman swimwear site was so funny. Jesus. I wish I was that prude, I'd wear one.
If Jenny were my friend, I'd tell her one piece of advice on having a baby...A bottle of Alize and sex. Presto. You are knocked up no time. Worked for me.
hahahaha
LMAO
For me, it was a bottle of chablis and the dave mathews band. that's how I got knocked up.
that, and the other one was fucking twice on the same sponge.. haaa.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
JA stops drinking and chain smoking? that's going to be a tough one for her.
Now Jennifer and Angelina can never get married...
52:48
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Keep god out of California
I'm not buying this about Jen at all.
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Bye! Good
Submitted by rotten_egg on November 5, 2008 - 1:37pm
People should get this through their tough skulls: some women are not into breeding. Jennifer Aniston doesn't want babies. Good for her.
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Thank you! Just because you have a womb, doesn't mean you feel like renting it out to any sperm, dick and hairy that comes along.
Submitted by K2 on November 5, 2008 - 2:44pm.
ITA. Pitt cares more about his genetic legacy than anything or anyone.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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But people remeber she once said , that she never said she didn't want kids, that she actually wants kids. Cause many people said the split with pitt was over not wanting kids, but she said it was not true, that she in fact DID want kids.
Not that I care. just saying
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Poor Jennifer Aniston. She just can't win. Either way I like her...always have, always will.
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The government of the United States is not in any sense founded upon the Christian religion. -John Adams
Oh my God..where does Michael find these websites. That Hassidic/Morom woman swimwear site was so funny. Jesus. I wish I was that prude, I'd wear one.
If Jenny were my friend, I'd tell her one piece of advice on having a baby...A bottle of Alize and sex. Presto. You are knocked up no time. Worked for me.
hahahaha
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
Submitted by zomay on November 5, 2008 - 1:40pm.
Did anyone see the National Enquirer story that Jen Aniston was pregnant with Brad's child, but lost the baby. Maybe bullshit. But it would of changed everything for the loooons perfect family if that baby was born
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I could totally see that being the case. I bet she did become pregnant while with Brad, had a miscarriage and then thought twice about trying again because of the grief it either caused her or because she couldn't easily get pregnant again. There is NO way they didn't atleast try. When your husband is whining about having children for years, I highly doubt she was as insensitive (as he is) and did not even try and give him a child. They were married for 4 years, I would bet money they were trying. He even made mention to getting pregnant in an Oprah interview he gave in 2004. He said "they were definitely working on that" and he grinned from ear to ear. Then he spoke about his conjugal visits from his wife while working on Troy (also with a big smile on his face). He loved her. Just not enough.
Submitted by CanonballJenkins on November 5, 2008 - 2:35pm.
We really do need her. Prop. 8 passed.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on November 5, 2008 - 2:29pm.
Why do want to keep God out of California?
We need her here more than ever!
She is welcome wherever Momus, if you only believe...
Btw, it's just a line that can always make me smile. Honestly, it's like a never ending joke to me- every time I say it out loud, I start giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl.
Hi hi hi...
Same happens with "Cannonball Jenkins".
Hi hi hi...
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Keep god out of California
Submitted by CanonballJenkins on November 5, 2008 - 2:15pm.
Why do want to keep God out of California?
We need her here more than ever!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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TY Pealy Pearl! WOOO HOOOOOOOO!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
-"Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on November 5, 2008 - 1:58pm.
and they are, like, always "ME ME ME ME ME ME!"
ya big babies, change your own diaper!"
Haha! And how about they cook their own food and go to work while they are it!, huh?. Who needs that kind of stress anyway?.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
I wont read this shit till i put my "bitch please dress on"!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Does she even have a career aside form appearing on the cover of tabloids anymore? I could could care less if she gives birth to a whole football team and a barnyard of animals, the bitch is B-O-R-I-N-G.
Honestly, this JA+BP+AJ histrionics has been unbelievably boring for a long time now.
There is only one thing that would make it remotely interesting and that is a sudden, stormy 'Anistalina' lezbonic relationship based on raw sexual attraction + tender love for the kiddies, eventually transformed into an iconic gay marriage.
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Keep god out of California
Submitted by kdracofan on November 5, 2008 - 2:06pm.
Pearl: (lol) give it some time...the 'usual suspects' will come by...you'll see
and about last night? WOOHOOO!!!!!!!
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WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND BOO YAH!!!(hats off to Snowpiece!)
I too can respect her decision not to have kids. But I also understand, that if she told the truth, hoes like the Brangeloonies would (wrongly, mind you) label her a selfish, conceited cunt. So I get why she needs a PR wh0re to lie for her. Sad, really, considering that it would be a non-issue if she were a guy :(
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Proof that Phoebe Price is over 35.
She's running for US President!!!
http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Phoebe&last=Price
Pearl: (lol) give it some time...the 'usual suspects' will come by...you'll see
and about last night? WOOHOOO!!!!!!!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on November 5, 2008 - 1:58pm.
and they are, like, always "ME ME ME ME ME ME!"
ya big babies, change your own diaper!
Exactly! "Feed me!" "Hold me!" "Bathe me!" "Put me to bed!" "Change my diaper!" Sheesh!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by kdracofan on November 5, 2008 - 1:59pm.
Pearl_Necklace on November 5, 2008 - 1:57pm.
heeeeere loonieloonieloooonies!!
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lmao! is it working?
I read the post and just shook my head 'o no - here we go'
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haha! looks like not quite yet! I might fall back to sleep in spite of hot fresh coffee waiting for the usual suspects to put on a loonie show! Last night was just that great, the exhaustion so worth it!!!1
I just love how they say that she's pregnant with twins and then the story says she TRYING to get pregnant. UGH UGH UGH!!!! Get your shit straight you dumbarses!
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Pearl_Necklace on November 5, 2008 - 1:57pm.
heeeeere loonieloonieloooonies!!
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lmao! is it working?
I read the post and just shook my head 'o no - here we go'
its all bullshit...if jen wanted to be knocked up that fast all she has to do is take her ginormous wallet to the nearest reproductive center...they will gladly pump her full of hormones & inject the appropriate amount of fertilized embryos via IVF...in hollywood its that simple.
Mayer could offer to carry the eggs. Pitt would have to think hard to top that one.
Submitted by Clarisse on November 5, 2008 - 1:48pm.
So does baby puke. And they are very noisy. I'd rather have a dog.
Submitted by rotten_egg on November 5, 2008 - 1:46pm.
Aye, aye!. Really bad and it looks like sticky melted playdough. Yuck!. Oh! and they cry a lot.. A LOT.
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and they are, like, always "ME ME ME ME ME ME!"
ya big babies, change your own diaper!
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I could tell you that I like your sensitivity, when you know it's the way that you walk.
Actually I believe that Jenifer Aniston did get pregnant while with Brad. It does not matter now and by no means am I saying that having a kid is mandatory for all couples. I am NOT saying that. I am saying I believe she did get pregnent. The National Enquirer usually does not put stuff out there unless they have a few sources. But I am not saying i believe all the stuff they write 100% of the time.
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heeeeere loonieloonieloooonies!!
AAAAAHHHH! Fresh coffee in the morning, boss gave us the day off (YES, I'm a lucky lucky libooooroool with a libooorooool boss!) President-elect Obama on my TV, and fresh loonie bait on DL! Life is GOOOOOD :D
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on November 5, 2008 - 1:54pm.
Submitted by Jeffro11 on November 5, 2008 - 1:51pm.
well, we all know that it's not true unless it's in People.
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I usually reserve judgement until I see it in the Star or Us Weekly. :-)
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
Submitted by Jeffro11 on November 5, 2008 - 1:51pm.
well, we all know that it's not true unless it's in People.
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I could tell you that I like your sensitivity, when you know it's the way that you walk.
say what you will, they did break the John Edwards story...
Not that I read the N.E., oh no , not ever...OK we'll maybe sometimes while stnading in line at the QFC.
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I'll give ya that, but the sun shines on a dog's ass every once in a while. The NE is always good for a chuckle while you're in line at the grocery store.
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
I read the Enquirer because it's there.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
HAPPYBMDAY!
Submitted by zomay on November 5, 2008 - 1:48pm.
Actually i read the national enquirer not to gain anything. just to escape.. :)
Seems like, more often than not, they're right. When was the last time a star sued them? Or sued & won? Carol Burnett in the early '80s springs to my mind.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247