Terri Seymour Got Paid
A few days ago, I wrote about my disappointment in Terri Seymour for not completing her gold digging mission. I now kiss her newly rich feet, because not only did Simon Cowell give her $4.6 to buy a mansion, but he also handed her $5 million in cash money. That's not a bad paycheck for massaging Simon's manchichis and scrubbing Gaycrest's dried-up jizz from hair for 6 years.
Of course, it's "shut the fuck" money. But I'm hoping Terri knew her cash COWell (sorry) was about to go out to pasture, so she quietly put together an incrimiGAYting (sorry again) case against him. When it came time to part, she sashayed into his black t-shirt closet room like Alexis Carrington, threw down the pictures and said, "It's not going to be cheap!"
That dumb bitch Sarah Larson probably only walked away with an autographed copy of "Ocean's Eleven" and a "You've Been Clooney-d" t-shirt.
and she is ugly with an annoying voice... wow she is quite the digger...fluffer I mean
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Now she can buy herself some orphans and a boytoy.
Damm Terri got P A I D! Mad respect.
Schandenfraude
The best beards have accounts in Switzerland.
Sarah Larson probably has a pre-paid Payless card at best.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
OSubmitted by SoBelle on November 6, 2008 - 2:49pm.
OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOUR AVIE!
AZALIA TRAIL MAIDS! HOLY SHIT!
ARE YOU FROM MOBILE?
WHY AM I YELLING AT YOU?
OK SORRY! MY MOM TRIED TO MAKE ME DO THAT AND JUNIOR MISS! I CLEARLY DIDNT! WOOOO WOOO!
Comere clarisse ill bugger you right good!
HA HA HA!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Pay attention, ladies, gold-diggers and whores...this is how it's done.
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"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream."
☼ ☼ ☼ Scarlett O'Hara ☼ ☼ ☼
LoLo,
Everyone needs a good buggerin to keep them in line.
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Excellent gold digging skills! I'm clearly in the wrong business.
horny times
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by El Bastardo on November 6, 2008 - 2:34pm.
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Of course not, it was Oxford that did you in. Gives new meaning to a morning cup of Joe.
the DUDE! abides...
@ELB true...
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And you will believe in love
And all that it's supposed to be
Just until the fish start to smell
And you're struck down by a hammer
Yah El B!
Do not be glib about a daily buggering.
BUGGER!
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Submitted by putsomestankonit on November 6, 2008 - 2:36pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on November 6, 2008 - 2:34pm.
I bet you wouldn't find that funny if you really did get buggered at boarding school.
Who says i didnt?
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NoAnjl loves me and i love her, deal with it!
Eddie wants sex with Clarisse, true!
Submitted by El Bastardo on November 6, 2008 - 2:34pm.
I bet you wouldn't find that funny if you really did get buggered at boarding school.
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And you will believe in love
And all that it's supposed to be
Just until the fish start to smell
And you're struck down by a hammer
Drama,
I am amenable to 80/20. Just don't take ALL the fight out of him! *wink*wink*
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Submitted by DUDE on November 6, 2008 - 2:12pm.
He's not gay. He's an Englishman who wistfully remembers his boarding school days.
A daily buggering at Eton never did me any harm!
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NoAnjl loves me and i love her, deal with it!
Eddie wants sex with Clarisse, true!
DRAMA and Clarisse: SHUT IT DOWN YOU COMPLETE MUPPET!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
He was said to be found at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^ not long before, and he was hot there. Quite a few girls and ladies ...
Snowy! You always have my back!
Clarisse we might be able to work something out. Say, an 80-20 split?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Snowy!
I see Drama prior claim and step-off. No worries...no problems...no problems...
*slowly backs away*
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Clarissey: we tap the keg and then we take it from there, who knows what kind of toe tapping stunts we might get up to! ;)
also, BACK OFF THE RAMSEY!!!! that's drama's main squeeeeeeee!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Simon Cowell is as bent as a fiddlers elbow!
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NoAnjl loves me and i love her, deal with it!
Eddie wants sex with Clarisse, true!
Ok.. this nice romatic talk is making me all emotionanl and stuff... stop it...
Obviously she has some major dirt on Simon.That is some major hush money.You go girl!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
dramaqueen365247!!!!
"The only Sharpei I've ever found hot!"
oh my god!! Sparpei!!! PERFECT!
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Snow and Clarisse, if he knew we were making these tap the keg jokes OMG!
I feel like i should make some blow job jokes for him sice he is not here to do it himself!
"You wanna drink from my spout ladies?"
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
He's not gay. He's an Englishman who wistfully remembers his boarding school days.
the DUDE! abides...
LO, I know, now that I know you always have cold brewskies ON TAP ! slurp!****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Clarisse: Them's fightin' words! Ask Snowy about my Ramsay obssession! The only Sharpei I've ever found hot!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
We all would have a freaking hilarious diner party!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
That girl deserved more for each year he was with him
he is so gross how could she survive in his house?
yuck!
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
Snowy,
Are we tapping LoLo or a keg? I'm in for both, i just need to know what to wear.
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Snow Piece LMAO!
Ima tap that bitch later! ha ha ha ha
That sounds so wrong/right!
Dude you and I need to party soon and often!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
My BF and i were having some cudle time last night watching t.v. and he accused me of being a chubby chaser because his six pack in now a keg!
I dont care how fat he gets he is just you know...awwwwww i so just got all mushy and Stooopid on yall!
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Sounds like our house too, LoLo. Any woman that can put up with my juvenile mentality, smart mouth, and love for cheap beer is a keeper! :)
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
KEGGER AT LOLO'S WHAT TIME WE TAPPING THAT??????
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
So I really don't know what to make of Mr Cowell. My sister-in-law's sister-in-law used to be his assistant in the record company he had before he went bankrupt and before he got famous. She said he was dating Sinitta at the time and was definitely not gay, in fact far from it. She says he just comes across that way because he hangs around with a lot of gay men or luvvie types in the industry he's in and has acquired their mannerisms. HOWEVER his behaviour since he got famous demonstrates all the classic characteristics of a man trying to disguise homosexual activity. The moment he became famous he signed up with Max Clifford (infamous PR guru responsible for representing a lot of kiss-and-tell scandal mongers and for protecting the likes of train wrecks like Kerry Katona from having all their worst vices exposed in the press). Clifford said that when Cowell came to him he said he'd lived a pretty racy life and he needed his help to keep it private - protection in other words. So what does Clifford do to "protect" his client from these stories coming out? Sends him to a lap-dancing bar and has him pictured ogling/fonding busty strippers and has the girls interviewed by the newspapers to give them a story. Now why may you ask would a straight man with a "racy past" try to cover this up by posing with strippers? Well I think we can all guess the answer to that question. Plus he does the typical Clooney-esque thing of having long-term unremarkable looking girlfriends (never the absolute stunners they could obviously get if they wanted) which never come to anything serious as they are "reluctant to settle down". Then the girls get paid off with millions of dollars. I mean the behaviour is screaming gay, so I find it really difficult to believe what my friend says. What do you make of it? All I can think is maybe he wasn't gay then but has been since and is trying to cover it. Either that or he's bi, but straight I find very hard to believe!
Jeffro!
You and your wife sound so cute!
My BF and i were having some cudle time last night watching t.v. and he accused me of being a chubby chaser because his six pack in now a keg!
I dont care how fat he gets he is just you know...awwwwww i so just got all mushy and Stooopid on yall!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I've never seen a single epi of this show but i'm still not a fan of this guy.
For my assholes with accents dollar, give me Gordon Ramsey!
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
Girrrl, I know that's right! The mortgage is the tip of the iceberg you can see on the surface. The part of the iceberg you can't see is the biggest part: maintenance, upkeep, utilities, furniture, etc.
It's that massive hidden bottom of the iceberg that sunk the Titanic. Same thing that kills Joe Homeowner with his McMansion he's now gotta sell at 1/4 its value because he can't afford it anymore. Same goes for cars. Lease the Mercedes s-class, but can't afford the gas, insurance, and maintenance.
People are stupid.
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Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on November 6, 2008 - 1:49pm.
5 million to buy a house in Beverly Hills and 5 million to furnish the house. What about the taxes on a 5 million dollar house? What about the maintenance on the house? Does she pay the electric company a million dollar to never turn off the lights until she dies? What about the insurance on the house or does that cover life insurance for her as well. What about a car, insurance on the car, clothes, and food? I guess it's better than some guys that just gives out herpes, make a woman get a abortion and tell her he doesn't love and anymore and then he throws her out of the house, car, or cardboard house box.
awwww Jeffro, I think he's kinda cute too, I can't help it, it must be the snark
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Why on earth would Terri leave Simon? I mean, look how thrilled he is to be with her ...
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
My wife thinks Simon is cute...then again, she's been married to my fat ass for 13 years, so there's no accounting for taste. :)
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
Man Chi Chi's
Man ChiChi's
Oh so rich and Ca$hery....
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
5 million to buy a house in Beverly Hills and 5 million to furnish the house. What about the taxes on a 5 million dollar house? What about the maintenance on the house? Does she pay the electric company a million dollar to never turn off the lights until she dies? What about the insurance on the house or does that cover life insurance for her as well. What about a car, insurance on the car, clothes, and food? I guess it's better than some guys that just gives out herpes, make a woman get a abortion and tell her he doesn't love and anymore and then he throws her out of the house, car, or cardboard house box.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Lol, get it girl!
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Wow...so many women defending Simons sexuality in here...surprising!!
He's not exactly a hunk...just a hunk of money.
^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^<>^
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
-- Mae West
Gaycrest cannot hold a candle to the Cowell.
Oh I agree with that! I dont think he can hold a candle to him as much as he can drip that hot wax all over his freshly shaved nut sack.
LOL I keeding wiff you.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
He was said to be found at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^ not long before, and he was hot there. Quite a few girls and ladies ...
i suck at math so i'm not sure if this is right. simon could have just yacked on a sexy party line non-stop for six years.
$1,150,000 per year
$95,833.33 per month
$3194.44 per day
$133.101 per hour
$2.21 per minute
i'm clearly in the wrong business. i need to be a gold-digger.
Don't insult Mr. Simon by insinuating he is with Gaycrest, he can do so much better than that smug miniature twirp! Gaycrest cannot hold a candle to the Cowell. Simon is hot, smart and too good for Gaycrust. Simon is the only reason I watch AI, Paula I watch for sheer pity and shock value, and I just fast forward over Gaycrust and that idiot Randy dawg person who is 75 and trying to be 15. yo yo yo yo dawg, dat was aiight not yo best yo, oh god I can't stand those two dorks, if anything put Gaycrust and Randy dawg together as a couple.
Anyslut, I don't think Simon is gay at all. That being said, I'd hit it for free.