Terri Seymour Got Paid
A few days ago, I wrote about my disappointment in Terri Seymour for not completing her gold digging mission. I now kiss her newly rich feet, because not only did Simon Cowell give her $4.6 to buy a mansion, but he also handed her $5 million in cash money. That's not a bad paycheck for massaging Simon's manchichis and scrubbing Gaycrest's dried-up jizz from hair for 6 years.
Of course, it's "shut the fuck" money. But I'm hoping Terri knew her cash COWell (sorry) was about to go out to pasture, so she quietly put together an incrimiGAYting (sorry again) case against him. When it came time to part, she sashayed into his black t-shirt closet room like Alexis Carrington, threw down the pictures and said, "It's not going to be cheap!"
That dumb bitch Sarah Larson probably only walked away with an autographed copy of "Ocean's Eleven" and a "You've Been Clooney-d" t-shirt.
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I don't give a flying fuck about either of these gits but I do covet their tablecloth. How cheerful! That would look so lovely in my dining room.
Very funny post. You can always sue someone for something. Since it is chump change for Simon, better to pay her off, get a full release of all possible claims and a covenant not to talk, then go on happily. Routine, solid, entertainment biz.
Girl got spank then bank! Well done!!
i really dont think he is gay...i get the swishy brit vibe from him, but not true homosexual...sounds generous to me...lucky her.
Clarisse - I read it yesterday and just had to use it!
But I'm siggy free again today. Having a siggy annoys me when trying to post.
Hi Smurfettes,
Haven't been here in awhile. I was over on the Crackie of Camden thread and the link to the brawl is now gone! Anyone got another link?
On Topic: Nothing more boring than Simon Says.
I'd do him with a condom for a thousand..
but I'm a broke ass slut.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
M.E.
"When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit."
That's awesome!!!
On topic: Meh.
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Danger could be my middle name...but it's John
5 years = 2 million a year. That's more than the Nicole/Tom contract! Didn't she just get a million a year?
Can I shag Simon for a couple years for a big payout?
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"When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit." - Johnny Depp
Hey, Sarah Larson got the same things Brad Pitt did.
I think he's funny as hell, and the only really credible judge on AI. Paula is a mess and Randy is a waste of space. Every time I hear "yo dawg, that was just aiight for me, a little pitchy" I could stick fork in my eyes.
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"No more yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!"
*sigh* Slow. News. Day.
I'm totally gonna end up getting work done.
*sigh*
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
He was said to be found at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^MillionaireLoving. C O M^^ ^^^^ not long before, and he was hot there. Quite a few girls and ladies ...
He really needs to button up his shirt. Unless he wants to look like a big cheap whore.
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I don't think he's gay at all. He just loves himself too much to give 100% to any woman. Plus, he has enough $ to where giving away 10 million or so isn't a big deal.
Rich bastard.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Looks like Ter's contract is up! $10m is nothing to scoff at but from what I've heard CashCOWell (lol) is worth tons...that's chump change! Terri also loses points because she had to hang in for so long to get her pay day.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
One, two Brit Brit's coming for you
three, four lock your chillun's doors
five, six she needs her Cheetos fix
seven, eight she dropped her Frap bloat weight
nine, ten her weave looks beat again
ahh.. Hope this is not true.. wtf? who gets paid for being dumped? unless the UK has some kind of common law marrigage thing where this separation would be recognized as a divorce or some shit like that..then I will be ok with her getting a settlement...well not really ok with it..but it will make more sense..
i dunno why, but he impresses me as a decent dude.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I assume Terri Seymour was going to pull the same palimony bullshit Lisa Marie whipped out on Tim Burton.
"Whaaaaa! I gave up my life, family, friends, career, best reproductive years, and dignity for him. Then he dumped me!"
"I should be paid for my suffering!"
Bitch, please.
Man, I want to get with a rich dude so that I can get a payout like that.
doin the butt!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
He is so NOT gay. Purlease! He's always looked after his ex-girlfriends. One day that'll be me...
Live each day as though it’s your last because one day it really will be
Wow. How romantic of Simon!
Hahaha! Hilarious post, MK!!
Terri is patterning behavior FOR YOU! She didn't even have to get married! HeyYayAAH! I'll have twat she's having!
swish.
.
That's some powerful hush money.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I think Suri is going to look alot like Terri when she grows up. They both have that 'yeah, she's cute, um, well, not really now that I look closer' look.
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cuteness
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.php4
AND....Simon has swore off women. He was quoted saying it. Hmm...methinks he has switched teams!! Look out Ryan...your dream man is coming for your ass cheeks!
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I've been in more laps than a napkin.
-- Mae West
Oh man, Vanessa Hudgens is working for EchoRed now? Pfff.
she was with his ass for a looooong time, I remember her from years ago, oh yeah, 6 years, still that's long in Hollywood
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Awwww shit whats he paying her to keep quiet about????
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
PSL- you are one expensive hooker! ;)
I may have said this before, but I told my BF that I was going to go look for a rich man to marry. He inquisitively asked me why and I said "so I won't need a job!" and he perked up and said "Cool! can I come??"
WTF? What was she? A prostitute? Actually, they get paid before they guy is done, but I honestly don't get it.
Did he pay to get rid of her? I thought she wanted to get married and he didn't and that's why they broke up. What's with the payoff?
Does she know something really juicy about him and this is shut up money?
Please, no sex tape.
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cuteness
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.php4
i have to say that's really decent/generous of mr cowell...!
unless its really a gay cover up...!
as I said a few days ago, I'd be happy to let Simon insult me for $9 million dollars......all he wants!
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Every time I'm near ya, I get that urge to feel ya...Just touching you and loving you, makes everything right.....
I've never knew love before, then came you, then came you...
-The Spinners