A Perfect Gift For The Jennifer Aniston In Your Life
It's the Boyfriend Arm Pillow! Now, every time the Jennifer Aniston in your life calls you, wanting to whine for hours about how they are so fucking loney and their cats are even giving them the side-eye, you can simply say, "Aniston in my life, go canoodle with the Boyfriend Arm Pillow I got you for Christmas." This shit will save you and your ear drums hours of having to listen to the Aniston in your life's bitches and moans.
Never curl up on the couch alone again, with this comforting arm that wraps around you as if to say, "I'm sorry work was rotten today," or "No, you pick what we watch tonight," all the stuff you'd never hear from a real boyfriend. Polyester filled with comfortable, snuggly foam.
It's only $19.95! And she won't have to worry about it only using her for sex, because he it doesn't have a dick! Wait.....or does it? Somebody call Maury, because I think we just found Nicole Kidman's real pillow baby daddy.
Thanks Faye
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I WOULD RATHER CURL UP WITH THIS THAN A PAIR OF BABOON ASS LIPS THAT LOOK LIKE THEY JUST VOMITED A LOAD OF FECAL MATTER AFTER SUCKING AN ASSHOLES COCK THAT WAS MISTAKEN FOR A LIZARDS SPHINCTER.
Aaah, that splains it, I haven't seen Willy Wonka. I have however eaten the chocolate bars.
Ron Jeremy fucking Oompa Loompa...let me thing about that one.
Baya PSL
Alrighty everyone...I am off. I will be back in a while, in a very, very good mood..
bye!
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She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:39pm.
well after I eat Burger King, I will have an epic brown monkey for you, trust.
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Sexy times. I had a little bastard of a poo baby yesterday morning after my grandma fed us chocolates. From Mother's Day. Last year.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:38pm.
WTF is an OOMPA LOOMPA!
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Oompla Loompas are the little orange men with green hair that are Willy Wonka's little chocolate love slaves.
Thanks, IG
xoxoxo
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
CTH, it is all good!! This is for you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDQE4UMVhEQ
Forgive me, I live on a continent. We have no such creature.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:29pm.
well after I eat Burger King, I will have an epic brown monkey for you, trust.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
WTF is an OOMPA LOOMPA!
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:35pm.
=>At the risk of revealing my ignorance, googling an "oompa loompa". I think I know Ron Jeremy, but I've never seen him perform. Well maybe once...ewwww
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I'm sorry to be so cliche, but what the fuck have you been doing your whole life that didn't include knowing what an Oompa Loompa was? These things are what dreams are made of!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:30pm.
Sandbitch, I would love you forever if you Photoshopped an Oompa Loompa and Ron Jeremy together for Sit On Your Face Friday.
=>At the risk of revealing my ignorance, googling an "oompa loompa". I think I know Ron Jeremy, but I've never seen him perform. Well maybe once...ewwww
Maybe Tits, 2c, angel_i and i can all have a go at the oompa loompa thang and you can pick your fave.
Googling.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:02pm.
Sadly, no. Unless they also say that giant hands will feel you up in the middle of the night with absolutely no intention of actually, you know, waking you up. In my experience, giant hands = extra creepy.
Sandbitch, I would love you forever if you Photoshopped an Oompa Loompa and Ron Jeremy together for Sit On Your Face Friday.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:27pm.
LCT
how about a moooning monday? we can all show our asses.
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Deal. There won't be anyone at work tomorrow because most people took it off so I might as well walk around with no pants on. High five. Can we make another poo baby to celebrate?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:22pm.
hoffalina, we need to have a good Sit on Your Face Friday. It's been awhile.
==>>COUNT ME IN!
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
Sit on my face ~ Monty Python
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xck9FaO_zA4&feature=related
LCT
how about a moooning monday? we can all show our asses.
IG, I'm only working eight pm to two am, figure I can sleep till noon and be good.
my roomie works days and my son's in school, so it's all good in the hood.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Thanks guys!
well the carwash I was laid off all summer cause people were washing their own shit.
believe it or not, I'm at Burger King.
I'm getting better than minn, I'm getting health benefits and a 401K.
it's better than you'd think.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:23pm.
==> LMTO! Was it her glutes, or yours? I had a massage a few years ago, and I couldn't figure what she was doin, but it felt like she was using her glutes. I had to whip around and damn check..WTF!!!...oh, forearms, ok, continue.
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They were mine, sadly. I'd have had a better time if she massaged her own.
HAHAHA you thought someone was massaging you with their buttocks? That's hot.
IG - there was no snippage, but I did get a picture.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:23pm.
Hahaha...sounds like a sticky situation. You don't want the glue treatment if you're a horse.
*snorts in disgust at own self*
*smacks own head*
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HAHAHAHA! That made me elle-oh-elle. Hahahaha. That was a hardcore Full House joke.
LCT, that sounds like a Saturday night around my house. :) And I can't believe you didn't snip off that rat's tail in church.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:17pm.
PSL - the first time I got a massage it was from this ginge butch lady (sadly, not Rojo) and she asked me if I wanted a glute treatment, but I thought she said 'glue treatment', like a thick lotion or something... yeah, that was a big of an awkward 5 minutes.
==> LMTO! Was it her glutes, or yours? I had a massage a few years ago, and I couldn't figure what she was doin, but it felt like she was using her glutes. I had to whip around and damn check..WTF!!!...oh, forearms, ok, continue.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:17pm.
Hahaha...sounds like a sticky situation. You don't want the glue treatment if you're a horse.
*snorts in disgust at own self*
*smacks own head*
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
hoffalina, we need to have a good Sit on Your Face Friday. It's been awhile.
I hope your job is good CTH, and that you are happy with it.
I have always said my neck and shoulders are the only part of my body that is a total slut. Start rubbing my shoulders, I don;t care who you are, my head drops, and I go comatose......lol
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For once in your life, here's your miracle -
stand up and fight!
- Kenny Loggins "This Is It"
CTH, I once used to work a graveyard shift (midnight to 7am), and it was frickin' brutal. But you get used to it, and I'm glad to hear that you'll be around more often in the daytime! I hope you like it... ♥
Sandbitch, I have a confession.
I scream at the ocean because I'm so jelly of your mad Photoshop skillz.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:59pm.
Jiggy, maybe your pic is too big for Mk's pic hole.
*
jpegs - size doesn't matter, they will get shrunk down unless your name is tigerlilly.
animated gifs will NOT load if they are bigger than 85x85 or over 30 kB in size.
you can resize gifs online here: http://www.gifworks.com/image_editor.html
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Brown Bunny...never had the pleasure (Mrs K)
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:20pm.
Did you for real burst your balls?
Poor Kevin. What's he gonna grope when he comes to life after midnight?
Take it from one who knows, Zig, you'd better put them balls back together, or it's a sailor's life for you.
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
hoffalina what's your new job?
Oh I have story times! Use your mind's eyeballs to get a good visual on this one:
My friend worked in social service with the mentally unstable, and there was one woman who was really very unique. One day she got sent to her room for being bad (she was 47) and when someone went to check on her, she was nakey from the waist down, ankles by her head facing the door, massaging her butt cheeks with both hands and giggling.
Angel_i must be off having pillow sex but her aniston pillow avie is here.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/29198?page=2
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:00pm.
CTH!! How's the new job going? xo
xoxoxo baby!
I start tonight.
the good news is, I can now have happy dlist daytime, once I wake up. working til two am.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
PSL - the first time I got a massage it was from this ginge butch lady (sadly, not Rojo) and she asked me if I wanted a glute treatment, but I thought she said 'glue treatment', like a thick lotion or something... yeah, that was a big of an awkward 5 minutes.
LCT
fuckday is a good title, considering I start my new job in an hour.... ugh.
I can't get massages, I get sexually aroused, I'm serious.
well, I get massages, but you know, at home, naked and stuff.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:14pm.
Hey, LCT!! Sexday? I didn't get the memo.
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Eaassyy like Sunday mooorrrnninnnggg.
Don't worry, I didn't get the memo either. I spent the day with Jesus in his house at my nephew's baptism. I was so not paying attention. There was the most glorious rat tail 5 rows ahead of me. He shaved his head bald around the rat tail, and it was CURLY. Like a golden curly tuft.
LCT....... :)
I haven't had a professional massage in almost a year....I am long overdue....
GREAT siggie SoBelle!
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For once in your life, here's your miracle -
stand up and fight!
- Kenny Loggins "This Is It"
Hey, LCT!! Sexday? I didn't get the memo.
I need to make one of those! I'm pretty crafty, so I bet I could make one pretty easily. Great Christmas gift for my single girlfriends, or married ones when hubby's on a business trip. I notice the girl in the pic is lying on her side - that way he can't cop a feel. If you're lonely, you could lie on your back and he would keep one bewb warm! LOL!
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"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream."
☼ ☼ ☼ Scarlett O'Hara ☼ ☼ ☼
PSL, I am a jelly h8er. Srsly.
hey everyone.......
this pillow is too funny....
I am leaving in 30 minutes- I have a 90 minute massage at 4:45.....I am so happy! I love birthday gifts!
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For once in your life, here's your miracle -
stand up and fight!
- Kenny Loggins "This Is It"
hooooooooooooooooooooooooofffffffalina!! Dot! IG! Everyone! Happy sexday.
Submitted by . on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 7:04pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:59pm.
I love how ya'll are so helpful. <3 When I sober up I'll try to reconfigure.
I also love the text to the right that sez "Santa is ready to pimp."
That's hot.
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:59pm.
Jiggy, maybe your pic is too big for Mk's pic hole.
+++++++++++++++
I know THAT'S right.
Although word is he has pretty loose goods.
Maybe he'll email back afore ya'll get tired of my nekkidness. ;-)
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:59pm.
Jiggy, maybe your pic is too big for Mk's pic hole.
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If the image is a .gif then yes but if the image is a .jpg file then the website automatically resizes it for you. .Png files are not allowed (I think...? Never tried 'em though).
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:56pm.
I will stab pillow man in the heart if'n he try feelin' up mah goods. The other ho's must be horz.
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lmao!
Hey, ahem *straightens up spine and looks perky*...errrrrrr, what's wrong with bein' a hor? *innocent blink*
-And, why does "half-a-torso-headless-man" have Pillsbury Dough Boy hands? Why? Why? HATHM needs a half a beer belly btw.
CTH!! How's the new job going? xo
Jiggy, maybe your pic is too big for Mk's pic hole.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:18pm.
This is creepy, it makes me think of something that Ed Gein would think of. Only it wouldn't be made out of polyester.
with the rotted cock he took off a corpse...
oh god, I have to work tonight, guess what I'm going to be thinking about driving down there..
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by . on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:49pm.
Sandayyyyyy, your avatar is da bomb! hehe
==Dottay, I cannot take the lurv for the avie idea, the trend had already started before I here. There are many peeps here off havin' dirrrrty pillow half man sex. They disappeared.
I will stab pillow man in the heart if'n he try feelin' up mah goods. The other ho's must be horz.