A Perfect Gift For The Jennifer Aniston In Your Life
It's the Boyfriend Arm Pillow! Now, every time the Jennifer Aniston in your life calls you, wanting to whine for hours about how they are so fucking loney and their cats are even giving them the side-eye, you can simply say, "Aniston in my life, go canoodle with the Boyfriend Arm Pillow I got you for Christmas." This shit will save you and your ear drums hours of having to listen to the Aniston in your life's bitches and moans.
Never curl up on the couch alone again, with this comforting arm that wraps around you as if to say, "I'm sorry work was rotten today," or "No, you pick what we watch tonight," all the stuff you'd never hear from a real boyfriend. Polyester filled with comfortable, snuggly foam.
It's only $19.95! And she won't have to worry about it only using her for sex, because he it doesn't have a dick! Wait.....or does it? Somebody call Maury, because I think we just found Nicole Kidman's real pillow baby daddy.
Thanks Faye
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@Sandy-- He DID dust the floor!! I thought I was OCD. If he were the only man-ho left on earth, I would turn to the hand pillow.
My neighbor/webmaster is already in bed. But hey, he's eight. Meh.
Maybe tomorrow.
PS I had to email MK cuz I got "access denied" when I tried to register my avie.
I'ma have a chicaloca meltdown if MK don't get THAT mess resolved. Not hookery enough for DListed? Doggone.
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
They should just call this headless, one armed ass bandit thing, "the remote control holder".
Submitted by letinstar on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:26pm.
i insist chest hairs and a penis be added to this partial torso immediately...then i can be proud to trot this thing out in mixed company...
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Letty, you made me wet my monitor. lmao!
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Sandayyyyyy, your avatar is da bomb! hehe
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:43pm.
Submitted by letinstar on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:26pm.
i insist chest hairs and a penis be added to this partial torso immediately...then i can be proud to trot this thing out in mixed company...
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You could take it with you in the car and drive in the car pool lanes then too!
oh wait, you'd need a head.
>> I'm thinkin' DISABLED CARPARK!
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:17pm.
I did see that avie tribute set to "Ice,Ice Baby" on Youtube, and I loved the Dlisters' giftedness, but felt embarrassed for Vanilla Ice. Esp. when he did the worm.
>I like how Vanilla dusted the floor *before* he did the worm. Din't wanna get his threads dirrrty. Check it one time, BOOOOOOIIIIEEEEYAH
Angel_ice_ice_Baby
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eefEoDjSs6w
Submitted by letinstar on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:26pm.
i insist chest hairs and a penis be added to this partial torso immediately...then i can be proud to trot this thing out in mixed company...
*
You could take it with you in the car and drive in the car pool lanes then too!
oh wait, you'd need a head.
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Brown Bunny...never had the pleasure (Mrs K)
i insist chest hairs and a penis be added to this partial torso immediately...then i can be proud to trot this thing out in mixed company...
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you can always tell someone's character by how they treat those they don't need to treat well...
Thanks for the gift idea!!! This is why I don't like Aniston. I have a friend just like her. I know she's my friend, but she calls EVERY day just to chat about her sad love life. She's so needy that she married one of those controlling types because he's the ONLY guy who LIKES to be called 5 times a day. Now, she complains about his controlling ways . . . It drives me so crazy that I pretend not to get her calls. I have no idea how to make her stop calling me so often, but it's driving me crazy at this point.
Psychotic but powerful post Ziggy.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:20pm.
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HAHAHA!!! I love that you named him Kevin.
I have one of these, and they make wonderful companions.
While your husbands are out cheating, Kevin and I are snuggled up on a couch cuddling. His soft fabric soaking up the salty tears streaming down my gaunt, sunken, Munch like cheeks. Apparently my gorgeous full heart bone structure collapsed at the same time as my sham marriage. But that's okay. I have Kevin now. He is like a 100% cotton Jesus.
Jesus would never pretend to be taking classes in psychoanalysis for cats, only to head on over to my sister's home with every intention of splitting her like a piece of lumber. Jesus wouldn't insist that I treat myself to another piece of cake and then spit cruel barbs about my slightly expanded weight line when my friends are over for a cheese platter. All I could do was laugh to stop myself from slapping Susan across her smug face. HE'S ONLY WITH YOUR BECAUSE YOU REMIND HIM OF HIS MOTHER, BITCH. SO DON'T LOOK DOWN ON MY WHEN YOU'RE IN MY HOME, AND YOUR CANKLES ARE RESTING ON MY OCCASIONAL TABLE YOU COW. SO ENJOY THE CHEESE THAT I BURST MY BALLS IN A CALL CENTER TO BUY, AND STOP STARING AT MY HUSBAND WITH YOUR WHORE EYES!!!!!!!!
ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAUHDUYOIAJDLIDUIHFIEFHUNISUJFNOIUS
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
You Americans, you're so far ahead of us Brits, with your severed boyfriend torso pillows...
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:10pm.
I mean what if the hand comes alive at night???
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I'd be down with that. In a hurry.
(Got to go downstairs for a minute.)
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
This is creepy, it makes me think of something that Ed Gein would think of. Only it wouldn't be made out of polyester.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 6:04pm.
Well, number one, the sock money is taken.
The remaining obstacle is that I need some kind of mind-blowing avie that will bring all you other
Dlisters to your knees in awe, and I haven't found it yet.
So I'm nekkid, but seeking.
I did see that avie tribute set to "Ice,Ice Baby" on Youtube, and I loved the Dlisters' giftedness, but felt embarrassed for Vanilla Ice. Esp. when he did the worm.
If that could be my avie I would be so happy.
Maybe that kid one floor down could pull it off.
Hmmm. Back in a sec.
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
If those fingers came with AA batteries in them, well... maybe.
Brad Pitt always look like an old man that needs a nap. I say she's well rid of him, whether she ever marries or not. He is not hot & he's not that great in movies. I actually believe he is a step down from Billy Bob.
~yeah. like that~
This shit is not only pathetic and terribly depressing, but it's also extra creepy.
I mean what if the hand comes alive at night???
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
Jiggy, you have no avie...why so nekkid?
Submitted by Diego on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 5:58pm.
Is it true what they say about giant hands?
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 5:57pm.
Submitted by sunryse on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 5:50pm.
Dammit, Sandy, you are such a funny ho. LOL.
*wipes Mimosa off laptop screen*
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
Just looking back through the comments, I think the giant hands are way more creepy. They remind me of an ex.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 5:48pm.
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:13pm.
@ Keane--
angel snapped your bare bottom with a locker room towel, Holmes. Delicious.
That said, you go on with you pro-Aniston self. We like diversity here.
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
Submitted by sunryse on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 5:50pm.
I want one of those damn things except without the creepy hand and shirt.
Just the shape please and thank you. Those things look super comfy.
>That thing is called a pillow.
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:13pm.
.. she had a 6 year relationship with one of the best-looking men on the planet
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She skanked out with Luke Wilson???
Now I'm really pissed. Not to mention completely disillusioned. Crap.
Where's my effing half-man pillow?
*curls into fetal position and hums*
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shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.--Courtney Love
I want one of those damn things except without the creepy hand and shirt.
Just the shape please and thank you. Those things look super comfy.
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:13pm.
Please can we stop using the name Aniston as a byword for single, past-their-best, desperate women?
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You know what? I actually don't think so.
It's a nice thought tho:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
I wonder if it allows for velcro attachments? Why you ask? If the relationship continues to grow, I think the bitch deserves the head, the other half of the torso, perhaps another arm. It will measure the degree of his commitment.
~*~*~*~*A gentleman is simply a patient wolf....Lana Turner*~*~*~*~
Jennifer Aniston is like Meg on Family Guy, she even sort of looks like her.
What's with the Pitter's need to have women who come from broken homes and majorly dysfunctional parental relationships?
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http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Egads - what if I *am* the Jennifer Aniston in my life?
Worse yet - what if I use "egads" in a dlisted post?
*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Jenny has nice shiny hair. Her mum is a cow who told her that her nose was too wide. Then her husband ran off with a skinny nosed bitch.
I have a TEAM ANISTON t-shirt. True!
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y27/mrsmogul/42709036_743e2ac342.jpg
TITS my posts have an element of IRONY to them - do you understand that concept? I'm sorry you think I'm shallow but as I said before you obviously don't know me, have never read a single post of mine before (try the prop 8 thread where I talked about the fact that not all opinions are valid otherwise Hitler's views towards Jews would be; or Angelina/Madonna adoption threads where I discuss the hypocrisy of people adopting kids from extremely poor countries then going back to their ridiculously extravagant lives). Probably not the most shallow person you will see posting on Dlisted. I'm sorry but your comments are making you sound stupid and because you have pissed me off with your insults I have to say go fuck yourself.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:43pm.
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTW: Has he ever carried a movie on his own? I mean where the movie actually made a profit.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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How pathetic. I would seriously question the friendship of anyone who gave one of these to me as a gift.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Keane - go back and read your post. You are making value judgments about people based upon their looks throughout.
After re-reading it I'll toss in shallow as well.
Maybe you could edit it to show what you really feel.
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Brown Bunny...never had the pleasure (Mrs K)
I still think Jennifer is gorgeous and talented. I don't understand why people can't let it go. She's moved on, she looks like she's having a great time with her life. Why can't everyone else do the same?
TITS - no I don't at all - that's total bullshit! I'm just trying to say something positive about the woman instead of people making her sound like a constant loser. And please don't make such rash assumptions about someone you don't know from adam, I'm the last person on this earth who would equate being pretty with being successful so you're 100% wrong. I find that extremely insulting.
Keane - you seem to equate pretty with doing well or snagging a good mate. That's just wrong, and terribly sad.
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Brown Bunny...never had the pleasure (Mrs K)
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:43pm.
See, that's the part that boggles my mind. I know many of y'all find Pitt hot, but even at his prime, to me he always was That Mens Wearhouse Model Who Sucked Enough Hollywood Power Peen and Hit the Bigtime.
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THANK YOU! I never understood the fascination with him, he always seemed like such a pussy.
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Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:51pm.
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Yeah, well, Bradley still strikes me as a glorified underwear model... and a lousy lay with a pencil dick to boot.
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
Hysteria - ooooOOOoooh d'oh.
Pearl - more like a sears catalog camping segment model to me. i still see him as the pretty hustler from thelma and louise.
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Brown Bunny...never had the pleasure (Mrs K)
i'm completely serious when i say that i would take vince vaughn over brad pitt! so over rated is brad!!
That thing actually looks kind of like it would be comfortable/comforting to take a nap with, I am ashamed to admit. Although I think the torso part isn't thick enough. Sitting down on the couch with it to complain about your work day is another matter entirely.
Well I think he's very good-looking but then I am gay so I like girly-looking men! (The one boyfriend I ever had in my life had a passing resemblance to the Brad so if I had to go for any man it would be Brad - or that hot guy in Lost, Josh something or other, Michael Hutchence, Liam Gallagher and oddly, the lead singer of the Kings of Leon (not sure this band is well-known in the states - they're amazing but the singer's not at all good-looking). So anyway I just think in a general way Brad was seen as a major catch by a lot of women so Jen did well for herself with him, better than she's done since anyway. The only problem with him for me is he's very puny (he definitely looked it when he was in friends anyway) and if I were to go for a man, I like them macho!
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:13pm.
Comedy is not the hardest form of acting.I can act funny too .
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:44pm.
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ah, thanks, I'm not alone here then! and hahaa EXACTLY. MAJOR gay-for-pay face :))
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OBAMALOONIE
The hand for the baby was weird but I could understand that . This on the other hand ( no pun intended) is just creepy who wants to sleep whit the half of a torso and hand.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
As long as its got fingers,I am good to go.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:42pm.
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 4:13pm.
.. she had a 6 year relationship with one of the best-looking men on the planet
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See, that's the part that boggles my mind. I know many of y'all find Pitt hot, but even at his prime, to me he always was That Mens Wearhouse Model Who Sucked Enough Hollywood Peen and Hit the Bigtime.
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Ditto. I could never get past his major gay for pay face.
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" If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."