Why Is Stephen Baldwin Still Here?
The dirty toilet plunger known as Stephen Baldwin vowed to move to Canada if Obama won. Somebody give that dumb fuck a newspaper, because Obama is our next president and Stephen is still here! I doubt Canada wants his ass either. When Obama won, they probably sent Stephen a bottle of their native maple syrup with a note that said, "Eh! This is the closest you will get to our fair Canada! Eh!"
Stephen lied to us all by not leaving. That's not very Christian-like. In the wise words of the God Warrior, "HE IS NOT A CHRISTIIIIAAAAAAN." It also wasn't very Christian of him to get Hannah Montana's initials tattooed on his body. Ew and ew.
According to TMZ, at some White House event last year, Miley Cyrus dared Stephen to get Hannah Montana's initials tattooed somewhere on his busted body. If he did it, she would let him guest star on her show. Well, yesterday at one of his book signings in Nashville, Stephen showed Miley his tattoo. He went through his part of the deal so she has to get through hers. Miley agreed that she'd let him cameo on her show.
No, that's not creepy at all. Well, it's only her initials, Stephen could tell people it means something else. Horny Moron? Hobag Mangina? Humongous Motherfucker? The possibilities are endless.
And since I mentioned God Warrior, it would be dark-sided not to post her most shining moment:
Image: Pacific Coast News
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Sheeps, I hate to tell you, but Mrs Butterworth's is NOT real maple syrup...
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Darling, I got to tell you something
And I don't say this to everybody
You look marvelous
Absolutely marvelous
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:25pm.
Funnee - how do you tell is someone is canadian? step on their toe and see if they apologize.
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Punch them in the face and see if they buy you a coffee.
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FUCK THAT! You punch me in the face and I will CUT YOU. It's a new Canada, bitches. We beat you guys at war anyway;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Are Americans free to travel in and out of Canada as they see fit?
I often here of imbeciles claiming that they shall leave America for Canada, but I don't imagine that Canada allows any any old trolls to cross her borders and enter her bland, uninspiring land.
I am only joking with that last statement of course. While I have never been, I am assured that Canadian universities are leading in the cognitive sciences.
God bless Celine Dion!
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:33pm.
Inneresting...
Me and Pudge were talking about this and he said "Oh, you're not a REAL Canadian if you don't like hockey."
I can't wait to tell him he's wrong.
Again.
Hee hee
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Darling, I got to tell you something
And I don't say this to everybody
You look marvelous
Absolutely marvelous
I am grateful for the many gifts of Canada each time that I sit down at my Northern Pine dinette, drench my Eggos in syrup, and crank up some Mahogany Rush.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:33pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:32pm.
Are any of you Canadians out there NOT hockey fans?
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Me. I'm from Toronto;)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:34pm.
Twice if you want double-double.
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And a shot to the baby-maker if you want a box of Tim Bits
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and knock them down if you want a box of Smarties. ;-)
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:19pm.
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Hahaha that made me laugh - I guess it *is* a Canadian response.
*
you forgot to say sor-ree.
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"I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." - Pascalle
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:34pm.
Twice if you want double-double.
-----------------------
And a shot to the baby-maker if you want a box of Tim Bits.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:25pm.
Funnee - how do you tell is someone is canadian? step on their toe and see if they apologize.
---------------------------
Punch them in the face and see if they buy you a coffee.
*
Twice if you want double-double.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
"I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." - Pascalle
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:32pm.
Are any of you Canadians out there NOT hockey fans?
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Yes! Fucking hate hockey like a clotted tampon in my cocktail!
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:27pm.
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:20pm.
Canadians gave us Celine and Avril. If there was such a thing as karma, they'd be drowning in Baldwins.
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Don't forget Tom Green. *slinking away in shame*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4khLRDBXhsM&feature=related
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:28pm.
Just don't tell them we have oil 'kay?
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Are you kidding me? That's, like, the only thing Palin DID know.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:28pm.
Where DID you get the idea that americans listen to anyone other than themselves? (sorry guys)
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Sha-winnnnggg! Prepare for liftoff!
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:19pm.
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Hahaha that made me laugh - I guess it *is* a Canadian response.
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There you go eh! And yes, please don't tell the yanks we have a sh*t load of oil up here.... I've seen what happens to countries they take an interest in, LOL.
Are any of you Canadians out there NOT hockey fans?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Darling, I got to tell you something
And I don't say this to everybody
You look marvelous
Absolutely marvelous
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:23pm.
"I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door."
Yeah, Sarah, like, you go girl!
BLECH.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Darling, I got to tell you something
And I don't say this to everybody
You look marvelous
Absolutely marvelous
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:30pm.
Uh, oh. Looks like the Canadians are out in force now. Just kidding about the Baldwins! But you do owe us an apology for Bill Shatner.
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You owe us an apology for John Travolta's weave.
Sorry TITS, we know about your tar sands already. It's being harvested as we speak to feed America's addiction. SAWRY. :(
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:27pm.
HAHA, Joe. You got me there. I'm sure Ponderosa would be marketing that stuff as beef jerky here if they thought the USDA would let them pass inspection.
*
Like passing USDA inspection has ever been a real threat.
:P
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"I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." - Pascalle
Uh, oh. Looks like the Canadians are out in force now. Just kidding about the Baldwins! But you do owe us an apology for Bill Shatner.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:19pm.
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Hahaha that made me laugh - I guess it *is* a Canadian response.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4khLRDBXhsM&feature=related
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:25pm.
Funnee - how do you tell is someone is canadian? step on their toe and see if they apologize.
---------------------------
Punch them in the face and see if they buy you a coffee.
I live in Canada and yes it's a wonderful place to live but with all due respect Canada has its problems, just like any other country; Americans must be getting just a *little* weary hearing about how superior we
*
Where DID you get the idea that americans listen to anyone other than themselves? (sorry guys)
And fuck it... we ARE superior in many ways.
Just don't tell them we have oil 'kay?
ps - get the hell out of the northwest passage, it's ours.
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"I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." - Pascalle
HAHA, Joe. You got me there. I'm sure Ponderosa would be marketing that stuff as beef jerky here if they thought the USDA would let them pass inspection.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:20pm.
Canadians gave us Celine and Avril. If there was such a thing as karma, they'd be drowning in Baldwins.
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WTF??? You think we're not drowning in Britneys and Parisites and AngieJos and PEREZ even?!?! UGH. The whole damn world is drowning in it, guy!
*smooch*
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:20pm.
Canadians gave us Celine and Avril. If there was such a thing as karma, they'd be drowning in Baldwins.
*
OooooOOOOOO! Send Alec, you can keep the rest as a deposit.
Remember - we walk amongst you.
Funnee - how do you tell is someone is canadian? step on their toe and see if they apologize.
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
"I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." - Pascalle
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:10pm.
The Canadians probably sent him a complimentary Ponderosa steak from Moncton. That would be a more effective deterrent than any border security.
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A HA!! Mr Prez I *finally* caught you red-handed defaming our national icon, Ponderosa and their delicious steak! I bet in the privacy of your kitchen, you relive over and over again that magical moment when you wore your molars down to stubs chewing on a Ponderosa steak. Is that why you eat beef jerky? To remind you of Ponderosa? :)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4khLRDBXhsM&feature=related
Mrs K - Bush and Jesus is bad enough but get a load of this load: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20081111/twl-palin-god-may-lead-me-to-top-job...
Palin: God may lead me to top job.
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"I'm going to be like a nun - except better dressed. And no church crap." - Pascalle
Submitted by Mr. President on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:20pm.
Canadians gave us Celine and Avril. If there was such a thing as karma, they'd be drowning in Baldwins.
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America gave the world George Bush.
I think it's about time to eat my shorts.
Canadians gave us Celine and Avril. If there was such a thing as karma, they'd be drowning in Baldwins.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
FEH!!!
He's no Alec Baldwin.
Not even close.
STFU Stephen.
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He was marvelous but you, darling
You look marvelous
Absolutely marvelous
This is the most Canadian response I have ever read! Modest to a fault, of course we have our issues but it's still a great place to live and for that I will never apologise.
My intent was not to sound superior but to point out the facts, and to point out the bizarre-ness of the 'moving to Canada if' crowd.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:14pm.
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:56pm
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Speaking for Canada thanks but no thanks. We don't want him or his kind, but thanks very much for asking.
Why do these door knobs all say they will move to Canada if anyway? We are more liberal and open minded than middle america could imagine, we allow gays and straights to get married, universal health care, respect for human rights, relative racial harmony,the strongest economy in the industrial world (so says the IMF and OECD anyway..)and gosh darn it we don't like it when our politicos talk about that ol god thing. Sounds like it would be hell on earth for Stephen Baldwin..... thinking before speaking must be a real issue for these door knobs
************
I live in Canada and yes it's a wonderful place to live but with all due respect Canada has its problems, just like any other country; Americans must be getting just a *little* weary hearing about how superior we
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 7:14pm.
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:56pm
*******************
Speaking for Canada thanks but no thanks. We don't want him or his kind, but thanks very much for asking.
Why do these door knobs all say they will move to Canada if anyway? We are more liberal and open minded than middle america could imagine, we allow gays and straights to get married, universal health care, respect for human rights, relative racial harmony,the strongest economy in the industrial world (so says the IMF and OECD anyway..)and gosh darn it we don't like it when our politicos talk about that ol god thing. Sounds like it would be hell on earth for Stephen Baldwin..... thinking before speaking must be a real issue for these door knobs
************
I live in Canada and yes it's a wonderful place to live but with all due respect Canada has its problems, just like any other country; Americans must be getting just a *little* weary hearing about how superior we are.
*****************************************
No no! Americans don't believe in superior countries! It's ok - to them it's a fable. That's why they say they're gonna run here. It's like saying: "I'm gonna run away with the circus!". A silly dream:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
If Stephen Baldwin wants to go to a country that has rigid religious right wing beliefs, then maybe he should move to Iran? I think that is much closer to his kind of political structure.
And wtf is up with that freaky cow in the video? You can take the woman out of the trailer park .... (lets just hope the trailer has a wide door).
Submitted by jd.xy on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:56pm
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Speaking for Canada thanks but no thanks. We don't want him or his kind, but thanks very much for asking.
Why do these door knobs all say they will move to Canada if anyway? We are more liberal and open minded than middle america could imagine, we allow gays and straights to get married, universal health care, respect for human rights, relative racial harmony,the strongest economy in the industrial world (so says the IMF and OECD anyway..)and gosh darn it we don't like it when our politicos talk about that ol god thing. Sounds like it would be hell on earth for Stephen Baldwin..... thinking before speaking must be a real issue for these door knobs
************
I live in Canada and yes it's a wonderful place to live but with all due respect Canada has its problems, just like any other country; Americans must be getting just a *little* weary hearing about how superior we are.
***********
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4khLRDBXhsM&feature=related
The Canadians probably sent him a complimentary Ponderosa steak from Moncton. That would be a more effective deterrent than any border security.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Ew. Please don't let Stephen Baldwin move to Canada. We just got rid of Pam Anderson. We're trying to purge our trailer trash inventory. Any bids on the singer from Nickleback?
*miou*
I try not to judge - well - unless someone is fucking nuts! I am watching me some reruns of Wife Swap tonight.
How is this not considered child abuse?
Merci Pearl_Necklace, you can come "oot and aboot in a boot" anytime with me - LOL. Just leave the door knobs at home eh.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:06pm.
I loved her screaming. It made me feel alive again.
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Yes, I get it. Kind of like "Saw."
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"They've been prisoners of the gristle monster."
--MK
Submitted by angry mom on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:45pm.
Pearl, Quran bangers is pretty fucking funny :)
-really-next time my dad pisses me off that's what I'm gonna call him.
kisses for pearl!
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LOL, thank ya ;D
Also looove jd.xy's "door knobs" -- looove Canuckisms!
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OBAMALOONIE
@Sandy--
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:04pm.
It's a hoot without sound. Look at the size of that cow's arse! Morbidly obese much?
Baby's got back-to-back, but forget about that.
Look at the freaky teefs and scary devil eyes.
Hold me, Sandy, I vewwy, vewwy scared.
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"They've been prisoners of the gristle monster."
--MK
@robnsamd---
Submitted by robnsamd on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:44pm.
Oh Michael K...thank you for posting the God Warrior!!!
Where can I find this whole episode online?
Do you know the season/episode number?
Anybody?
Thanks...
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"They've been prisoners of the gristle monster."
--MK
What about Billy Balwdin? Has he promised to leave his wife based on any political happenings? He can come live with me. :)
Speaking for Canada thanks but no thanks. We don't want him or his kind, but thanks very much for asking.
Why do these door knobs all say they will move to Canada if anyway? We are more liberal and open minded than middle america could imagine, we allow gays and straights to get married, universal health care, respect for human rights, relative racial harmony,the strongest economy in the industrial world (so says the IMF and OECD anyway..)and gosh darn it we don't like it when our politicos talk about that ol god thing. Sounds like it would be hell on earth for Stephen Baldwin..... thinking before speaking must be a real issue for these door knobs.
Submitted by robnsamd on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:44pm.
The best part was when the house she was sent to was making her sick and she was heaving all over the yard! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Was her hurl in the shape of Jesus?
Mrs. Kravitz, cause douche G.W. says that God picked him to be prez blah blah blah http://www.slate.com/id/2106590/
one of the commenters says hilariously
if God sent us Bush it was to punish us
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 11/11/2008 - 6:42pm.
Oh, her family also proudly features George W. Bush's portrait.
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When AND HOW did Jesus Christ and George Bush become inextricably intertwined?
What the fuck do those two men have to do with each other??
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?!?!
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You got to find it, feel it, do it, oh God, YEAH!
Pearl, Quran bangers is pretty fucking funny :)
-really-next time my dad pisses me off that's what I'm gonna call him.
kisses for pearl!