Queen Aretha Is The Greatest Singer Of All-Time!
Rolling Stone has come out with their 100 Greatest Singers Of All-Time list and Celine Dion isn't even on it! She is the "greatest singa in da wooorld!!!" She's going to take a kayak over to Rolling Stone and beat them with her elbow bone. Celine didn't make the list, but Queen Aretha Franklin and her magnificent titty balls of destruction landed on #1!! Rolling Stone really had no choice. Queen Aretha threatened to eat their whole building if they didn't make her #1. They know she was serious. She had the Thousand Island dressing with her, ready to go.
I pity the 99 fools below Aretha on this list. They are fucking holding on for dear life with Aretha on top of them. They are trying to get strength from their fucking toenails. Aretha's just sitting up top like the queen she is, picking her teeth and flexing her chichis.
I'm sure you'll rip apart the rest of the list like I already have. I mean, no Chloe Lattanzi?! No Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? No The Hoff?! I just have 4 letters for this list: F-A-L-E! I'm joking! I know how to spell fale. Wait. How do you spell it? Stop! Let's get to business!
The full list after the jump. JUMP!!!
100 Mary J. Blige
99 Steven Tyler
98 Stevie Nicks
97 Joe Cocker
96 B.B. King
95 Patti LaBelle
94 Karen Carpenter
93 Annie Lennox
92 Morrissey
91 Levon Helm
90 The Everly Brothers
89 Solomon Burke
88 Willie Nelson
87 Don Henley
86 Art Garfunkel
85 Sam Moore
84 Darlene Love
83 Patti Smith
82 Tom Waits
81 John Lee Hooker
80 Frankie Valli
79 Mariah Carey
78 Sly Stone
77 Merle Haggard
76 Steve Perry
75 Iggy Pop
74 James Taylor
73 Dolly Parton
72 John Fogerty
71 Toots Hibbert
70 Gregg Allman
69 Ronnie Spector
68 Wilson Pickett
67 Jerry Lee Lewis
66 Thom Yorke
65 David Ruffin
64 Axl Rose
63 Dion (not Celine)
62 Lou Reed
61 Roger Daltrey
60 Björk
59 Rod Stewart
58 Christina Aguilera
57 Eric Bourdon
56 Mavis Staples
55 Paul Rodgers
54 Luther Vandross
53 Muddy Waters
52 Brian Wilson
51 Gladys Knight
50 Bonnie Raitt
49 Donny Hathaway
48 Buddy Holly
47 Jim Morrison
46 Patsy Cline
45 Kurt Cobain
44 Bobby "Blue" Bland
43 George Jones
42 Joni Mitchell
41 Chuck Berry
40 Curtis Mayfield
39 Jeff Buckley
38 Elton John
37 Neil Young
36 Bruce Springsteen
35 Dusty Sprinfield
34 Whitney Houston
33 Steve Winwood
32 Bono
31 Howlin' Wolf
30 Prince
29 Nina Simone
28 Janis Joplin
27 Hank Williams
26 Jackie Wilson
25 Michael Jackson
24 Van Morrison
23 David Bowie
22 Etta James
21 Johnny Cash
20 Smokey Robinson
19 Bob Marley
18 Freddie Mercury
17 Tina Turner
16 Mick Jagger
15 Robert Plant
14 Al Green
13 Roy Orbison
12 Little Richard
11 Paul McCartney
10 James Brown
09 Stevie Wonder
08 Otis Redding
07 Bob Dylan
06 Marvin Gaye
05 John Lennon
04 Sam Cooke
03 Elvis Presley
02 Ray Charles
01 Aretha Franklin
VIA Stereogum
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 5:36am.
Poor moral fibre? Canadians use bacon as fucking currency! Their dollar bill has Alan Thicke on it! She has bigger concerns.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
2C. Did you read the Beaver ad thread. That hot Canuck we know *cough*TITS*cough* called us Aussies 'of poor moral fibre'. Pfftt.
==Forgive her lord, she knows not what a Canuck says. If we are lacking moral fibre, FIBRE, then what say about the Yanks?
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 5:32am.
2C! Did you see the Wino vid on Mr Paparazzi? She's so fucken BOGAN!
www.mrpaparazzi.com/index.aspx
..
Anon! Will go watch it now! And BTW Wino may be a bit skanky but a BOGAN! Nevaahhh! LOL!
Well not till she gets a mullet, then I might concede!
I'll catch ya tomorrow ya saucy minx!
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 5:25am.
==>Thank God. She's a Canuck innit. Celine makes me gag. *HoiK*
.......
And you know that my heart will go oorrrrnnn
*Bleauch*
Did you read the Beaver ad thread. That hot Canuck we know *cough*TITS*cough* called us Aussies 'of poor moral fibre'. Pfftt.
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
2C! Did you see the Wino vid on Mr Paparazzi? She's so fucken BOGAN!
www.mrpaparazzi.com/index.aspx
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 11/15/2008 - 4:44am.
Hey bitch! That was a fair call on Shirley. She def deserved to be there, before..god..where do I start...many on this list who may have been groundbreakers in their day but don't stand the test of time vocally. Am still giggling that Celine Dion didn't make it. hehehe.
==>Thank God. She's a Canuck innit. Celine makes me gag. *HoiK*
Eric Bana ripping Tom Cruise is Gay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySDkIwWHk74
Little Miss, all is forgiven
Hey bitch! That was a fair call on Shirley. She def deserved to be there, before..god..where do I start...many on this list who may have been groundbreakers in their day but don't stand the test of time vocally. Am still giggling that Celine Dion didn't make it. hehehe.
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Submitted by kdracofan on Fri, 11/14/2008 - 2:11pm.
Xtina is on this list but NOT NAT KING COLE?
WTF!?
Oh listen up, we tore shreds outta this list here the other nite. I immediately demanded a recount for the lack of Shirley Bassey. We at dlisted are *THE* influential people in music right now. TRUST.
Eric Bana ripping Tom Cruise is Gay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySDkIwWHk74
Little Miss, all is forgiven
Xtina is there,#58, but mariah (love) is'nt even top 20, neither is MJ, what a joke. I think that the little bitch troll from hell Mick Jagger can change places with MJ, or mariah (love).
Xtina is on this list but NOT NAT KING COLE?
WTF!?
In true Kanye fashion WHERE THE FUCK IS ELLA FITZGERALD???!?!! (if he doesn't already, he should definitely upgrade to overuse of punctuation)
shit list
Submitted by Bda on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 4:01pm.
What a horrible list! 85% of those people I don't have a clue who they are!
!@#$%^&*()__)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*()_(*&^%$
that says a lot more about you than it does about the list.
Fuck this shitty ass list. Bjork ranks lower than Christina A. I don't think so! And Bono made it? Fuck that all together.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
Yo...where in flying-fuck is TOM JONES? Art Garfunkel is on the list and Tom Jones is not? I thought this was a list of famous SINGERS, not famous brillo pads.
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Some people just get to be shiny.
WHAT? How in the hell did Christina Aguilera make the list? I guess if you like the sound of a dog howling!
What a horrible list! 85% of those people I don't have a clue who they are!
Wait, so Celine Dion didn't make the list at all? That's a crock of shit. She could have taken Kurt Cobain's place. This isn't a cool contest, it's a SINGING contest. Anyways, I'm glad Jeff Buckley made it at least.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
bullshit
how is patti labelle so low??
and where tha hell is diana ross??
Submitted by No Words on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 11:16am.
What a completely randomly-generated list.
Abso-fucking-lutely! Celine Dion, whatever you think of her music, is a great singer. How did Aguilera growl her way onto this list?
"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson
this list is total crap!! although i am glad that bjork made it on there.
What a completely randomly-generated list.
Aretha is SO not the #1 singer of all time. She is SO entirely overrated. I understand that she was a unique and powerful voice back in the day but if you are a great singer- let alone the greatest ever - then you continue to sing with greatness. Aretha has done nothing noteworthy since the 60s and now just sounds like a cat in heat as she screeches her way through songs. And the rest of that list is quite screwed up.
Submitted by paveldavidovich on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 9:54am.
Oh Shit.... Morrisey's #92.... I know she's pissed...
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What do you mean, "she"? *frowns*
Mozzer's all boy, baybeee!
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
Should #2 be Ray Charles/Jamie Foxx?
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
madonna just started up her chainsaw.
My Freddie is number 18 and that's all that matters to me. <3 <3 <3
Rolling Stone is the worst of the worst. They haven't been relevant since 94 and even that recently is debatable. They are bandwagon ass-kissers, this list sucks ass. The list, not the singers.
Oh Shit.... Morrisey's #92.... I know she's pissed...
“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, As to be hated needs but to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, we first endure, then pity, then embrace”
I'm with cattitude- no Ella Fitzgerald? And no Sarah Vaughn? How can a list like that be taken seriously without those two prolific voices. Not to mention that there's no Heidi Montag in the Top 10!!! Ok, that was a joke, but really, no Ella or Sarah?!?)
This list = epic fail.
Oh hell no. Where is Stevie Ray Vaughn? Christ! And though I love Bjork, you CANNOT put her on there and leave Tori Amos off. Grr.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 2:15am.
DAE doesn't even know yet that Xtina made the list...
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O yes she does:)
Page 2.
LOL
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
Ice Baby Hands
Maybe I'm just blind this morning, but no Ella Fitzgerald!??? WTF!!!
This list is a crock.
I'm just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous wealthy dating club☆☆☆ ___WEALTHYkiss.COM___ ☆☆☆last week and she was seeking her new guy there now! BTW, The girls there are really hot!
I cannot believe Rolling Stone didn't include Ondar. Throat singing bitches!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVyyhHFKI8E
Where is David Lee Roth? Who else can split a voice in two and get away with assless chaps at the in front of thousands of homophobes? And why the fuck is Freddie Mercury number 18? Gary Gygax (RIP) could have made a better list.
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 11/12/2008 - 8:36pm.
Mrs. Kravitz, it's not like Aretha invented the genre. She was lucky enough that she was around when it began. If it hadn't been her it would've been someone else. People have their heads shoved so far up her ass they just drool at the sound of her name and I just don't get it. Blah blah blah, she might be the "Queen of Soul" but I still think her voice is boring and has little depth. The fact that she has rabid fans does little to dissuade me.
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Bwahahahahaha!! Did you actually say that Aretha Franklin's voice has no depth?! Seriously. You lose all credibility there. Its fine to say that you dont like Aretha, but to say that she's overrated and has no depth is ridiculous. Reasonable minds can disagree about a lot of things but thats just crazy talk.
They forgot Selena. Are you kidding me?
I agree that Aretha should be number one.
What disturbs me is that Elvis Presley is so high on the list.
Could people not hear through all the fluffernutter and grilled cheese sandwiches?!!!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Bono is on this list? That cat in a dustbin Carey? If I were Aretha I refuse the honour of being no 1 until they got shot of thse two for starters.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
Submitted by yucko on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 5:22am.
I bet Paul McCartney is shitting his pants that John Lennon is several spots above him.
Nah. It was all about the money for Paul. John was an unpleasant individual too, and wailing that dirge 'Imagine' should be a criminal offence but I don't like to speal ill of the dead. I do agree Paul looks like he shits his pants on a regular basis however.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
P.S.
It's sad for today's singers to see that most of them are dead, half-dead or from the 1950's. Which is 100% justified, by the way, considering the current music standard.
Caren C. should be further up on the list though.
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
Neeeiiighhhhh.....!
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
I don't have a problem with Aretha as #1 but a lot of this list is crap
see news of CMA at
http://www.entertainroom.com/2008/11/country-music-award-cma-2008/
I bet Paul McCartney is shitting his pants that John Lennon is several spots above him.
No Dolores O'Riordan? Someone will pay for this fuckery!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
LOL at “As Canadian as ... possible under the circumstances.” It should have contained an apology too.
“As Canadian as ... possible under the circumstances, if that's OK with everyone, eh?.”
HAHA! OK, I've finally found the story and WTF is with the HM tattoo? He's a fuckwit loon that wants to be on Miley Sirus!!! LOOOOzzer.
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Guess what. I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.
Hey I was here, observing the banter to and fro over the border.
Baldwin is a cocksucker. In other words, he would rather move to Canada than live in the USA under Obama. Who TF does he think he is? And he isn't intelligent enough to be funny.
I FART IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION!
I also snagged on this yesterday on the Aussie www.news.com.au site.
"As Canadian as possible under the circumstances"
http://blogs.news.com.au/news/yoursay/index.php/news/comments/aussie_tra...