Sasha Fierce Needs New Dancers
Sasha Fierce pounced into "SNL" last night to perform that "Singles Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)" song and she looked like a greedy, high-powered 80s businesswoman who was too busy worrying about an upcoming corporate takeover to realize that she forgot to wear the bottom part of her Claude Montana suit.
Sasha Fierce is also not going to be happy to learn that her dancers were fucking taking the shine off of her and I don't mean that in a good way. I couldn't take my eyes off of the blondie dancer who looked like she was freshly plucked out from her day job as sweater folder at J.Crew and thrown on stage with Sasha Fierce.
Sasha needs to replace those tricks with this bitch below. I've shown this shit before, but it's time for an encore! Actually, Sasha would never share a stage with homegirl right here, because the lights would immediately go out and all spotlights would shine on him. I'm having a hard time calling Beyonce Sasha Fierce, because this is the real Sasha Fierce right here. Who's going to let Beyonce know that the spirit of Sasha Fierce has bounced out of her body and shimmied into the glittery hole of this hot piece?
BONUS! - Click here to see Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg tuck their junk into leotards for a skit with Beyonce. Justin sucks at playing queeny, but the douche has legs.
BONUS, PART II! - Click here to see Sasha Fierce perform "If I Were A Boy." Those titties were aching to free themselves from that tape and jump out of that dress. Sasha wouldn't have noticed because she was too busy exuding raw emotion into her performance. I also love the fan towards the end of her performance. I wish it would have blown her ass right off the stage.
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LCT, course I went straight for the instruction pages... Here's a good one.
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/battery-instruction.j...
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
NitWitty - me too! This has got to be my favourite: http://www.engrish.com/wp-content/uploads//2008/11/new-york-hotdog.jpg
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:33pm.
CREEMY, you are just embarrassing yourself honey.
'Baby talk' does not lead to any kind of retardation. It is a natural way of introducing the child to singularly occurring phonemes. It is the process of learning by forgetting.
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Well then I'm a fucking JENIOUS!
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"I'd have sex with a number of the Muppets. I just don't talk about it publicly." - Mandy Patinkin
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:12pm.
This mind Bangolow to here live.
The Street Traffic cross to here me.
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Don't to make come near my box of happy or will put penisbreath in soup of your dinner!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:03pm.
I totally just found commingback's house:
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/listen-to-mee.jpg
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LCT, I'm in heaven on that website. And you pegged that sign perfectly! hahahaha
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 3:03pm
"I HATE ALL OF YOU"
"BANGOLOW"
This mind Bangolow to here live.
The Street Traffic cross to here me.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
"ETA: many of the girls I grew up with sucked up this weird message of "don't put out till he gives you a ring/buys a shitload of crap for you"
That's not always a bad message. . . . right?
http://daywithoutagay.org/
I totally just found commingback's house:
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/listen-to-mee.jpg
that guy from the movie "clueless" is so hot mmm
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:47pm.
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Her "put a ring on it" refrain reminds me about how much she crows about being a Christian and I think that's part of the bitterness of which you speak. She's one of the unfortunate women who sucked up that "The Rules" warmed-over virgin-versus-whore old school crap. It doesn't mix well with "being your own woman," nor especially equip you to relate honestly with men.
ETA: many of the girls I grew up with sucked up this weird message of "don't put out till he gives you a ring/buys a shitload of crap for you" BUT also "dressing and dropping it like it's hot shows your're liberated".
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JUST ONE OF THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS.
view the moves side by side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ifGHUfR5Ks
This chick will have a breakdown sooner than later. She is heading for LAURYN HILL VILLE.
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:47pm.
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It's the hypocritical nature of it that bothers me. "I'm your survivor" with empowering lyrics but the video was of them on all fours on a beach. Of course the beach is just an excuse to put them in bikinis, and being on all fours is the classic code for women who will give everything and ask for nothing.
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MK is a businesswoman!
I make for large brown in pants of under if still read engrish.com more.
Man, I'm soooo tired of bitches like Beyonce (yeah I said bitch). She's literally making a career out of singing about how shitty men are, in her opinion. Now I'm all for empowering yourself, feeling good about yourself but to me this is seriously contributing to a breakdown in social behaviour and relations between the sexes. Songs like "If I were a boy" or "Put a Ring on it" all have that feel of bitterness towards men. Does she have any good relationships or anything good to say about guys that don't involve giving the women gifts or money or deferring to them all the time? Fuck her, I'm not a bad guy at heart and I'm certain there's others like me out there. Why doesn't she sing about love, not that "Crazy in Love" crap either. The operative word in that song is CRAZY because I'm not gonna be wondering what type of person she may be the way she's shaking her ass in that video. I wish I were a celebrity so I could get on my soapbox and blast her ass out for her opinions towards men.
I know she's selling a product here but I remember when Oprah really started getting credit for her success. She seemed to almost always have some derogatory comment about men on topics concerning relationships, so much so it made me suspect there was something more to her negativity. We now pretty much know what that something was/is. Beyonce writes most of her own stuff, even though she's supposedly married I wonder what her true, deep down motivations are.
I would rather be alone or date women from other cultures than to have to work so hard to maintain a good relationship with women like Beyonce. I can't stand her anymore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
Can't see the first video!
The SNL Nazis have struck again. It makes me want to stop watching that stupid show everytime they do shit like this.
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"I told my brother all about you, he's gonna love you, only he better
not love you too much or I'll kick his ass."
Whenever I see her perform, or Rhianna, or frankly, whoever these days, I always wonder, "What if my Grandma were alive and saw this?" I would give anything to see her priceless reaction. Then again, I'd feel bad to put her through the humiliating experience. I mean, really, that is art? It defies pejorative terms ...
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:33pm
LISTEN GENIUS YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T FOLLOW THE POSTS. FUCKING MORON.
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Sun, 11/16/2008 -
P.S. Sasha Whatever is the most ridiculous and self-important thing I've ever heard of.
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Careful, Ziggy...
KANYE WILL GET JEALOUS WITH TALK LIKE THAT.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:31pm.
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:26pm.
IT'S FUCKING DOCUMENTED IN BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE TEXTS USING THAT KIND OF BABY TALK INDICATES MILD RETARDATION.
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Awwwwww, did someone go weewee in their daidy? Come here and mama will kiss it alllll better.
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HAA!
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( < )( < )( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )
just need to keep you in mind, as something larger than life....
LOL@LCT:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:32pm.
OMGGGgggg..lololol. Are there classes you can take or did you just pick that up on your own?! Seriously, I can't stop laughing..Do you write for IKEA?!
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Hahahaha just think English by Numbers and it'll flow right out of you!
You next be master in big time! Clap hand in space of make you!
CREEMY, you are just embarrassing yourself honey.
'Baby talk' does not lead to any kind of retardation. It is a natural way of introducing the child to singularly occurring phonemes. It is the process of learning by forgetting.
Consult your text books again. Obviously you haven't been keeping up with recent research.
P.S. Sasha Whatever is the most ridiculous and self-important thing I've ever heard of.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 -
Take for put pieces A and bang to pieces Q. Congratulations, you buildmake space of amaze!
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OMGGGgggg..lololol. Are there classes you can take or did you just pick that up on your own?! Seriously, I can't stop laughing..Do you write for IKEA?!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:26pm.
IT'S FUCKING DOCUMENTED IN BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE TEXTS USING THAT KIND OF BABY TALK INDICATES MILD RETARDATION.
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So then you know already. Well, that's good:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:26pm.
IT'S FUCKING DOCUMENTED IN BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE TEXTS USING THAT KIND OF BABY TALK INDICATES MILD RETARDATION.
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Awwwwww, did someone go weewee in their daidy? Come here and mama will kiss it alllll better.
Submitted by Khandi on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:26pm.
angel_i, I love Family Guy. Peter also said "they let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV and she looks like a foot!"
BEST. LINE. EVER.
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LOLOLOLOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:25pm.
Don't even get me started on the instructions. I'm usually cussing in three languages whenever I finish trying to assemble something!
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Take for put pieces A and bang to pieces Q. Congratulations, you buildmake space of amaze!
So I just showed this dancey little thing to my boy and agrees that this just makes the world a little brighter. Now, I just need to get me an outfit like that and learn that dance.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:26pm.
Nitty: Check this site out: http://engrish.com/
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Sheeps! Thanks! Hahahah...I am so bookmarking that page!!
Favorite so far: The Male Sex Toilet.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by slongo on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:18pm.
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Slongo, I remember her first rant/post and I'd never heard from her before that. But back in the day, you didn't have to register to post so coulda' been someone else?
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
IT'S FUCKING DOCUMENTED IN BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE TEXTS USING THAT KIND OF BABY TALK INDICATES MILD RETARDATION.
Submitted by slongo on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:18pm.
"did britscomingback start out normal and slowly go insane on here or did she just jump on in full character eg losing it, schizophrenic, word salady?"
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Crazy right out of the gate from the get go. But a f*cking poet, I tell ya! I only saved on of his/her posts. I wish I could find all of them.
angel_i, I love Family Guy. Peter also said "they let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV and she looks like a foot!"
BEST. LINE. EVER.
I hate when you guys re-post Comingback's rants. So fucking dumb, I don't even see the humor in it.
I'm off to see if I can spend my $100 gift card at J. Crew.
see ya!
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No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
- Minnie Riperton "Lovin You"
Nitty: Check this site out: http://engrish.com/
Those dancers were the fierceness. But the white girl hadd my attention too MK...she reminds me of the white girl at the prom who tries waaaay too hard to drop it like its hott.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:20pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:19pm.
I love their amazing use of plurals.
Move one(s) spaces.
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Don't even get me started on the instructions. I'm usually cussing in three languages whenever I finish trying to assemble something!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
That chunky ho needs to sit down.
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:18pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:16pm.
DROP THE INFANTILE *SMOOCHIES* BULLSHIT.
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Seriously.....they do that shit to alienate.
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( < )( < )( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )
just need to keep you in mind, as something larger than life....
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:18pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:16pm.
DROP THE INFANTILE *SMOOCHIES* BULLSHIT
WHY DONT YOU COME MAKE ME *giving you a extra snuggly hug*
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
SMOOCHIES SMOOCHIES SMOOCHIES....
ga ga goo goo...
DROP IT LIKE IT'S PANTY PUDDING HWORES!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:19pm.
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:15pm.
LMAO, RHK! I just removed a tag the other day that said, ...premius guality product. We now walk around the joint saying: Another premius guality product!
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I love their amazing use of plurals.
Move one(s) spaces.
Submitted by red_hot_kitchen on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:15pm.
LMAO, RHK! I just removed a tag the other day that said, ...premius guality product. We now walk around the joint saying: Another premius guality product!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
You know, it's really very pathetic that celebrities have to make up alter-egos to say what they want to say. Why not grow a pair and own up to your own opinions?
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:16pm.
DROP THE INFANTILE *SMOOCHIES* BULLSHIT.
Uhhhhm, did britscomingback start out normal and slowly go insane on here or did she just jump on in full character eg losing it, schizophrenic, word salady?
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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."-Catherine Aird
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:18pm.
YEAH AND YOU LIVE AT THE MINIMUN TASTE LEVEL. SEEMS YOU WOULD KNOW IGNORANCE IS BLISS. YOU FUCKING SAID IT FUCKING_ASSY!
*smoochies to Nitty and angel*
COMINGBACK WHERE ARE UUUUUUUUUU?
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
And P.S. this "Sasha Fierce" business is pure stupidity.