Sasha Fierce Needs New Dancers
Sasha Fierce pounced into "SNL" last night to perform that "Singles Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)" song and she looked like a greedy, high-powered 80s businesswoman who was too busy worrying about an upcoming corporate takeover to realize that she forgot to wear the bottom part of her Claude Montana suit.
Sasha Fierce is also not going to be happy to learn that her dancers were fucking taking the shine off of her and I don't mean that in a good way. I couldn't take my eyes off of the blondie dancer who looked like she was freshly plucked out from her day job as sweater folder at J.Crew and thrown on stage with Sasha Fierce.
Sasha needs to replace those tricks with this bitch below. I've shown this shit before, but it's time for an encore! Actually, Sasha would never share a stage with homegirl right here, because the lights would immediately go out and all spotlights would shine on him. I'm having a hard time calling Beyonce Sasha Fierce, because this is the real Sasha Fierce right here. Who's going to let Beyonce know that the spirit of Sasha Fierce has bounced out of her body and shimmied into the glittery hole of this hot piece?
BONUS! - Click here to see Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg tuck their junk into leotards for a skit with Beyonce. Justin sucks at playing queeny, but the douche has legs.
BONUS, PART II! - Click here to see Sasha Fierce perform "If I Were A Boy." Those titties were aching to free themselves from that tape and jump out of that dress. Sasha wouldn't have noticed because she was too busy exuding raw emotion into her performance. I also love the fan towards the end of her performance. I wish it would have blown her ass right off the stage.
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Oh Lord in hebben they make a dark chocolate Terry's chocolate orange. Oooooohhhhh alone time.
This dude's got some chutzpah fo' sho'. Beyonce's white girl dancer looks like she is struggling to go through the motions, she ain't FEELING it like THIS dude.
Please Lord PLLEEAASSEE let this Sasha Fierce crap ruin her career like Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines. Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeeeeeee.
Off topic: I would so do Garth Brooks.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:01pm.
That reminded me of the English translations on Japanese products. NEW WIGS EYES CHANCE!!! LIKE WOW!!!
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:51pm.
@LCT: Is that Angie? Haha!
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Hee hee hee! And you wouldn't even know it was Photoshopped! Not because I have skills, but because Brad probably writes 'slut' all over her.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:42pm.
Wait! Like this!
Submitted by Green Is Good on October 1, 2008 - 12:19pm.
Oh my God! I actually saved one of Comingback's posts!!
See below.
Bitch was a frikkin' poet.
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Comingback?! Where are yoooo? Your D-List sluts miss you.
Bet the County has him/her in the Lock-up!
I totally posted the first comingback saved post in a Bulletin at CrackSpace.
Gott Damn, that shit is like drugs on drugs.
A Wake N Bake treat. A Pop Tart filled with another Pop Tart topped off with Chocolate Covered Bacon.
Why did I get rid of my stash of comingback chronic posts?
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by day shift stripper on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:08pm.
That ghetto chicken dance could give a bitch whiplash.
She brought back her Terminator hand! Ugggh.
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WHy she gotta be ghetto???? Is cuz shes black? She has enough money right noe to live far far away from the ghetto for the rest of her life, enough talent to ensure success in the future and therefore not end up a loser in the ghetto, so what exactillly makes her Ghetto?
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( < )( < )( ^ )( ^ )( > )( > )
just need to keep you in mind, as something larger than life....
LoveAnderson! ♥ Heeheehee
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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
That ghetto chicken dance could give a bitch whiplash.
She brought back her Terminator hand! Ugggh.
☠
"With every 5th Valtrex refill, you get your very own Vh1 reality show!" -MK
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 2:01pm.
I saved a COMINGBACK post.
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And that's why I always keep ya on my good side, DeeDee! Lawd knows I don't want any of my quotes coming back to bite me in my kolache!
Thanks for the post...Highlarity!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
@DeeDee! YAY! Thanks:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
I saw this last...WHY? That shit was painful to watch. I can't believe she really looks at that and thinks shes amazing. Her whole life is an embarassment.
SIT.DOWN.BEYONCE.
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You're allowed to have opinions and beliefs, as long as its their opinions and beliefs.
Stock, I brought that up in the first Sasha Fierce post and no one bit. That was truly a debacle.
I watched SNL and now that ring song is in my head in perpetuity. Can't anyone just sing live anymore, without being backed by echo effects and a wind machine? Jesus, everything is so overproduced these days.
I thought Justin Timbersnake was funny though. He's quite talented.
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
SLUT STACKS!!!
HELLO! CHANCE HER!!!
DEE DEE, IMA GONNA SLAP YOUR SLOTS WITH TACO TIMES!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
I saved a COMINGBACK post.
Submitted by britscomingback on January 14, 2008 - 7:37pm.
OKAY IT REALLY DOES FIGURE I AM IN THIS CHAT AGAIN FIGURES Y'ALL IN THIS CHAT AGAIN REALLY DOES FIGURE WOW! OKAY FIRST OF ALL THERE IS A CHANCE HERE WHEN COURTS DO MAKE HER YOU KNOW HELLO! ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING ARE NEW TIMES SHE IS BACK BETTER WAYS MAYBE VIDEOS AND SONGS SUCH AS TAX!! OKAY AND ALSO WHEN COURT TIMES STOP MAYBE NEW DATES AND HE DOES KNOW COPS MAYBE EYES HELLO! OKAY ANOTHER THING NOT MENTION AND AGAIN ARE MINUTES OR CAMERA TIMES YOU KNOW OR DANCES MAYBE WATCH THE VIDEO THE BOOT BROKE ON CNN TUBE SO CHANCE HER WOW! AND NOT EVEN MENTION NEW STYLE OR NO WIGS EYES DO SHOW WHEN HER SLOT TALKS OR SOCK STOPS!! OKAY WOW CAN NOT EVEN BELIEVE CAUSE STOP HER WHEN MOMS ARE HERE OR MAYBE EVEN STACK ON SLUT STACKS PROBABLY AND CHOCOLATE DRINKS DON'T MEAN TOILET TIME GOD!
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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
I don't have any strong feelings about Beyonce one way or the other, but I do think she's trying way too hard. You don't get to be Tina Turner, or Madonna, or Janet Jackson, or whoever she wants to be, by trying to be them. She should just be her own person and see where that takes her.
I wonder if she even has a sense of identity. I wonder if when you're sort of groomed to be a pop star at a young age, like she was, you lose that step in development because you're used to being a blank slate for a marketing image.
Anyone remember Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines debacle?
That almost killed his career.
Beyonce ~ dig a hole, throw yourself in it and then let me back up a cement truck to fill it in.
@sheeps and Angel - you know it daddy-o. That is a seriously cool beat.
sandybitch or my2c turned me back onto it. it was posted in the rolling stone list comments - SHE WASN'T FUCKING ON THE LIST OF TOP SINGERS! that warranted caps.
downloading the dame now.
Listening to Shirley, you only wish you could sing that well. Unlike thunderthighs.
Pretty girls, beware of his midas touch!
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"I'd have sex with a number of the Muppets. I just don't talk about it publicly." - Mandy Patinkin
LOL! Family Guy just said (i listen while I type - no kiddies, I'm still in my pjs):
Oooh, Lois, you're just like Britney Spears only you're not a fat guy.
LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
@LCT: Is that Angie? Haha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:11pm.
Ha!
Thanks, LA (EDIT: Angel)! That is so classical!
"NOT TO MENTION CAN'T MAKE SOCKS STOP WHEN YOU GOT FLASH IN YOUR SLOT MAKE A JUMP SCREAMER MAYBE STOP! AND SOCKS DO HELP WHEN Y'ALL DROP DRINKS OR CALL HER A WIG WOMAN AND YOU CAN SEE MASKS IN MIRRORS WHEN YOUR WIG TAX DROPS MAYBE CHANCE HER! OKAY AND SHE DOES HAVE A BOX WITH A DANCE BUT YOU CAN'T STOP HER BOOT CLAP WITH A BUTT SLAP!"
I'm keeping a copy for my records.
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I cannot get that Single Ladies song outta my head!
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http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
COOOMMMIINNGGGBBAACCCK POOOOOOOST! The sheer ESLness of that post makes me want to do sex to it.
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:38pm.
I am too fucking insanely jealous! Shane is the hottest slut I've seen in quite sometime. My panties are moist from watching him show Wigyonce how shit is done right.
Also Rip Taylor is fucking hot!
xo
Submitted by angel_i: "COMINGBACK!:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=1206052..."
Thank you! That was some good stuff.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:43pm.
OH MY HOLY CHEESUS, THANK YOU ANGEL!!!
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My pleasure! I saved it for just such an occasion:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
...fucking A, Angel...that's fantardy golden goodness, dear god...
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JUST ONE OF THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS.
why did she change her name? the girl obviously has talent but . . . the name is lame. that is all
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OH MY HOLY CHEESUS, THANK YOU ANGEL!!!
Submitted by britscomingback (not verified) on December 11, 2007 - 11:12am.
OKAY WOW HERE WE ARE IN AGAIN IN THIS CHAT AND Y'ALL ARE STILL IN THIS CHAT WOW! OKAY FIRST OF ALL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING GIRLS DO GET SUN YOU KNOW SUCH AS SUN ROOMS AND LIGHTS YOU KNOW! AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING REALLY DOES FIGURE Y'ALL BORING MOMS LOOK AT BUTT BURNS WITH BOOTS LIKE WOW! OKAY AND SHE DOES HAVE FLASH IN EYES SO GLASSES AND WIGS MIGHT HELP WITH CHOCOLATE DRINKS OR MAYBE TOILETS DO HAVE MORE FLASH ON TILES MAYBE! OKAY AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING ARE TIMES LIKE VIDEOS OR SHE DOES HAVE SAD TIMES LIKE WHEN NO PAPER OR FLASHES IN PINK HAIR SHOW BUTT BURNS OKAY!! AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION CAN'T MAKE SOCKS STOP WHEN YOU GOT FLASH IN YOUR SLOT MAKE A JUMP SCREAMER MAYBE STOP! AND SOCKS DO HELP WHEN Y'ALL DROP DRINKS OR CALL HER A WIG WOMAN AND YOU CAN SEE MASKS IN MIRRORS WHEN YOUR WIG TAX DROPS MAYBE CHANCE HER! OKAY AND SHE DOES HAVE A BOX WITH A DANCE BUT YOU CAN'T STOP HER BOOT CLAP WITH A BUTT SLAP!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:38pm.
THANK YOU M.K. THAT DANCER IS SHANE , MY BUD FROM NO PARKING
UPTOWN NYC
HE IS ALL KINDSA HOTNESS & USED TO TURN OUT MY DANCEFLOOR!
WORK IT OUT SHANE !!!
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DUDE! Tell him to post more vids!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Wait! Like this!
Submitted by Green Is Good on October 1, 2008 - 12:19pm.
Oh my God! I actually saved one of Comingback's posts!!
See below.
Bitch was a frikkin' poet.
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Submitted by britscomingback (not verified) on December 11, 2007 - 11:12am.
OKAY WOW HERE WE ARE IN AGAIN IN THIS CHAT AND Y'ALL ARE STILL IN THIS CHAT WOW! OKAY FIRST OF ALL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING GIRLS DO GET SUN YOU KNOW SUCH AS SUN ROOMS AND LIGHTS YOU KNOW! AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING REALLY DOES FIGURE Y'ALL BORING MOMS LOOK AT BUTT BURNS WITH BOOTS LIKE WOW! OKAY AND SHE DOES HAVE FLASH IN EYES SO GLASSES AND WIGS MIGHT HELP WITH CHOCOLATE DRINKS OR MAYBE TOILETS DO HAVE MORE FLASH ON TILES MAYBE! OKAY AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION ANOTHER THING ARE TIMES LIKE VIDEOS OR SHE DOES HAVE SAD TIMES LIKE WHEN NO PAPER OR FLASHES IN PINK HAIR SHOW BUTT BURNS OKAY!! AND ALSO NOT TO MENTION CAN'T MAKE SOCKS STOP WHEN YOU GOT FLASH IN YOUR SLOT MAKE A JUMP SCREAMER MAYBE STOP! AND SOCKS DO HELP WHEN Y'ALL DROP DRINKS OR CALL HER A WIG WOMAN AND YOU CAN SEE MASKS IN MIRRORS WHEN YOUR WIG TAX DROPS MAYBE CHANCE HER! OKAY AND SHE DOES HAVE A BOX WITH A DANCE BUT YOU CAN'T STOP HER BOOT CLAP WITH A BUTT SLAP!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:38pm.
THANK YOU M.K. THAT DANCER IS SHANE , MY BUD FROM NO PARKING UPTOWN NYC
HE IS ALL KINDSA HOTNESS & USED TO TURN OUT MY DANCEFLOOR!
WORK IT OUT SHANE !!!
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JESUS, I'm JUS JELLUS!!! wish I knew that superfly man <3
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JUST ONE OF THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS.
COMINGBACK!:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=1206052...
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♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by Coffy1978 on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:36pm.
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT? FUCK YOU!
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I wanna be Michelle Obama. Fuck Beyonce.
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Line starts behind MY triflin' ass ;*
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JUST ONE OF THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS.
Creemy's picture
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:12pm.
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Dahling. How would you know that unless you are here all the time yourself? I'm self employed and I do this on breaks. What's YOUR excuse?
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MK is a businesswoman!
THANK YOU M.K. THAT DANCER IS SHANE , MY BUD FROM NO PARKING UPTOWN NYC
HE IS ALL KINDSA HOTNESS & USED TO TURN OUT MY DANCEFLOOR!
WORK IT OUT SHANE !!!
"If it doesnt have a working peen,then Kate's not leaving with it"-MK
Submitted by Green Is Good on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:55pm.
The bitch in the second video is truly fierce!
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I wanna tell ya, I totally did not expect to be mesmerized by a slight young flirt dancing to a Beyonce song. Dancing FOR someone it seems, as if to say 'you can't', 'you could', 'come hither', 'fuck you'.
I can totally see returning to this video on the odd day for some reason. My world was brighter because he's out there somewhere dancing.
Thank you for that.
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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."-Catherine Aird
Submitted by KingCharlemagne on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:34pm.
Passive-aggressive? Girl, your trifling ass better not even try to get cunty with me. You are out of your league.
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So sorry I caused offense; I meant that in a therapeutic, helpful way ^_^ It's good to know I'm dealing with the best, though XOXO
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JUST ONE OF THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS.
Submitted by Creemy on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 12:57pm.
FUCK ALL YOU DUMB CUNTS!!!! YOU JUST WISH YOU WERE BEYONCE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TALENT? FUCK YOU!
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I wanna be Michelle Obama. Fuck Beyonce.
thanks for my new siggy, Creemy :D
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JUST ONE OF THE SAME FUCKED UP BUNCH POSTING AT ALL HOURS.
Passive-aggressive? Girl, your trifling ass better not even try to get cunty with me. You are out of your league.
OK, the passive-aggressive guilt-trippin' fan is no fun. Seriously, Beyonce is cute and can carry a tune when she turns down the volume from 10,000 and the ridiculous histrionical emoting AND the frenzied ripped-off moves to hide her lack of rhythm. I kind of liked that track she did waaaaay back in the day with her ugly dude, but JAYZUZ, can't waste my energy on the latest cookie cutter processed product pushed in my grill. Only Britney Spears is bigger waste of fantardedness.
Bring it, Serve it, Own it
Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:26pm
Some of us here had saved the posts and then like me, I just deleted them. Then the site purged and got reworked to fend off spammers. You have to register now to post.
Before all that, you could look the comingback posts in the archives.
It was scary at first but then, OMG!
Yes, it was a magical time.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
The J Crew moonlighter looks just like Gwyneth Paltrow!!! SCARY FISHY! Lanky legs...fishysticks...whatever you call them. Beyonce seems to be having a seizure and the outfits are just all wrong. The song sucks too! We all know if you like it, you DO NOT put a ring on it! Or you will lose it forever! Dummies! Justin and Samberg did make me laugh though. That was about the only thing that made me laugh at last night's show however.
"Hot damn Aunt Jemimah, that Pop-fart could have blown Ben Affleck's face off. Nice!"
Submitted by KingCharlemagne on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:24pm.
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OK, the passive-aggressive guilt-trippin' fan is no fun. Seriously, Beyonce is cute and can carry a tune when she turns down the volume from 10,000 and the ridiculous histrionical emoting AND the frenzied ripped-off moves to hide her lack of rhythm. I kind of liked that track she did waaaaay back in the day with her ugly dude, but JAYZUZ, can't waste my energy on the latest cookie cutter processed product pushed in my grill. Only Britney Spears is bigger waste of fantardedness.
My god, that was embarrassing. It was like three slow kids in a garage someplace "choreographing" dance moves. Can't she hire a professional?
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:20pm.
Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 1:17pm
Creemy has a little comingback goin' on there.
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GODS I wish I'd met this legendary DListed Britters fan :(
Got to admit, though, I LOOOOOVE batshit crazy ass fans. The tasteless-er, the better. Seriously! I love visualizing them lurking on sites like these between their erotomaniacal letter-writing and fansite trolling from moms' basements the world over..and lurking, grinding their grills, and lurking, and cutting, and lurking, and ripping out hair one follicle at a time ... AND lurking, until that one magical post and then SNAPCRASHBURN goes their fragile psyche! OH YES! tis one of the few joys I take in others' sufferings ^_^
It makes me sad to see so many people come down on Bey. That performance was fun. I think she's come a long way from Foxy Cleopatra.
Her album is out in my country already...it is the business. Give the girl a break.
Bring it, Serve it, Own it