Sell That Shit!
A little old lady got a huge shock when she took a painting to be appraised on PBS' "Antiques Roadshow" in Palm Springs, CA. The memaw was given a 1937 painting by artist Clyfford Still as a housewarming gift by a friend almost 50 years ago. The friend was a student of Still's. Well, the painting turned out to be the best fucking housewarming gift ever, because it was appraised at $500,000!!! Memaw won the lottery! You know she did the Cabbage Patch when she found out.
The painting is the most expensive piece every appraised on the American version of the show.
Alasdair Nichol, the dude who appraised it, said it could be worth a lot more. Recently, a painting Still created 10 years later was sold at auction for $21 million. Oh hell no. I'm going to go through my mom's garage, rent a U-Haul and take everything down to the "Antiques Roadshow" to get appraised. My old ass Snoopy Sno-Cone machine has to be worth something.
The show's producer told The NY Post, "Clearly, the woman who brought this to us knew she had something special. She just didn't know how special it was."
That memaw better have called up the damn A-Team when she was told how much that shit is worth. Thieves were probably waiting to pounce on it! Damn. If I was there, I'd leave a trail of caramel squares from the venue to my car trunk. You know that memaw would fall for it! Then I'd snatch that treasure out of her hands and drive off! Well, she'd have a bunch of caramel squares and memaws love those things!
The $500,000 episode will air on PBS in January.
That painting looks like one of those creepy paintings on Night Gallery. *shudder* If you look closely, there's probably some shadowy demonic figure somewhere in there.
I love this show and its extremes:
FROM:
"Madam, you have the magical oaken stick God waved to create the world! It's PRICELESS!"
"Really? Gramma used it to beat the rugs."
TO:
"I found it in my father-in-law's attic. It's a Van Gogh, right? I've reasearched it on the Internet thing."
"No, this is a Last Supper Paint-by-Number from Woolworth's. It is worthless, as are you!"
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
I'm old. Anybody out there wanna bid?
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"Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo."--MK
I love this show! awesome MK you have posts about Antiques Roadshow, you are the bestest evah!♥♥♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Hey, I have a paint by numbers picture I can sell ya! Any takers out there?
lucky lady! i hate that show now because now no one can ever buy something that might be worth something at a yardsale or antique store or anything...everyone is on high alert for their crap actually being worth lots of cash... its a downer.
Here's some "art" for ya:
http://www.marlaolmstead.com/
People are such suckers.
lol
Gran-Gran has the, "Oops! I crapped my pants!" face. Oh hell, I would too for that matter.
Amen to that.
I'm into Cubism myself.
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Submitted by z-listed on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:20pm.
that painting is the ugliest, most depressing piece of crap I have ever seen!
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you is chipmunkin times all up in my face and i hate that, you trampy nut gathering woodland creature. (LoLo)
The old ladies relatives must be eager for her to die.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
I have a still playable Simon & the original box, I may have the sno cone maker beat, albeit not by much.....
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:25pm.
Cheers, missy! And you, mine.
EDIT: Sorry wrong topic! My favorite Abstract Expressionist piece is Anselm Keifer's "Nigredo".
Google and discuss.
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OUCH! That hurt my eyes...I couldnt for the life od me make out what that was supposed to be....looked like a kids balled up his painting and then opened it back up again and mounted it...
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creeps up behind me and shes like YAAAHHHH!
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:08pm.
Deb - i have homework to do for my class at home... so i gotta do that before i go out for the day... i am such a fucking procrastinator, its ridic!!!
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Sigh, we have that in common...
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When you can't lie to yourself, that's depressing.
Clyfford Still is one of my favorite painters. He was a contemporary of Jackson Pollock, but lesser known in the history of Abstract Expressionism. His later work is WAY better, but still, I'm so happy for this memaw!
^^^
EAT SHIT AND LIVE!
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:13pm.
ok guys, help me.. if you see me on here anymore call me lots of hurtful names so i get my work done and can go out...
Round eye. Gaijin.
Submitted by roxie on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 10:19pm.
Monetary worth is all relative. What one thinks is worth something is just really their opinion. That painting, to me, looks cheap.
Right, but if someone else wants to pay a half mill for it, then that's the market price.
Monetary worth is all relative. What one thinks is worth something is just really their opinion. That painting, to me, looks cheap.
BIG PBS geek here.
I got a ticket to go to the Roadshow in August in my town. The tickets were free, but chosen by lottery. There were 3,200 tickets and nearly 30,000 requests. Each ticketholder could bring in two items for appraisal, and the line was almost two hours long as it snaked through the convention center. But it was MAGIC!!! I met Mark Walberg and got his autograph on my program. I had one of my dad's old toys appraised by the toy guy, Noel Barrett and he signed my ticket. My dad's old toy typewriter cost a $1.85 when my grandma bought it for him. It's appraised now at $150.
Everyone was friendly and patient and I met some really cool people from all over the midwest. Some guy brought in some huge lances that were used as movie props -- apparently they came from the set of The Wizard of Oz and were appraised at 30 grand. Each.
A woman I'd been standing in line with found out that her shoebox full of old crystal glasses she got from her late uncle's estate were rare old pieces from Steuben Glass -- and appraised about 300 a piece. She has eight of them.
My second item was an old biblical print that I got for forty bucks in a thrift store. Turns out it's appraised at four hundred. Hey, that's better that my 401K did this year...
The show from my town also airs in January.
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"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
I'm soo jealous of this bitch! I need to find a priceless work of art in my attic...I'm broke!!
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"I'm the normal one and everyone else is crazy. Thank you, next question" -Kathy Griffin
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 6:18pm.
No. Way.
I haven't watched this shit in years, I love it when people bring shit they cleaned and shouldn't have.
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Someone came to the antiques board on eBay and had an antique cannon. They cleaned it. It lost like 20K in value. I was like DUMBASS!
I only lurk there to learn.
Submitted by MuffinAmy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:16pm.
Will & Grace was a hit-or-miss show (it's first 3 seasons, after that, miss-miss-miss), BUT, this episode was one of the funniest.
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I was just going to post about that. Remember when Jack was under that trunk with the pot and the men lifted it and Grace was looking at Jack and he said "Can you see me?" I almost pee'd myself!
The only thing funnier on that show was when Karen told Rosario to read "Green eggs and I'm hammered" to her kids. LMAO
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:13pm.
ok guys, help me.. if you see me on here anymore call me lots of hurtful names so i get my work done and can go out...
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You remind me of diaper rash.
Cheers, missy! And you, mine.
Back on topic: I think after this album tanks, the public will lose interest, ("Hope! Hope!"), and she'll go back to making headlines in the tabs.
EDIT: Sorry wrong topic! My favorite Abstract Expressionist piece is Anselm Keifer's "Nigredo".
Google and discuss.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I'm glad she won the lottery on that painting because it is the ugliest, most depressing piece of crap I have ever seen!
LOL you rock Deb :) i think you just made my day :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 9:08pm.
Look at it this way, at least your homework is in Tokyo! You are in a position to learn some serious shit in a cool place. You'll get through it. In fact, you'll rock the house!
I'd like to help you with the procrastination. Can I get back to you tomorrow on that? ;)
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
ok guys, help me.. if you see me on here anymore call me lots of hurtful names so i get my work done and can go out...
well not too hurtful, im kinda fragile :\
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Deb - i have homework to do for my class at home... so i gotta do that before i go out for the day... i am such a fucking procrastinator, its ridic!!!
help meeeeee!
my homework is about bond pricing and present discounted value... SHOOT ME!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by meltz91 on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 8:43pm.
Well, OK then.
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LOL It's alllll in the delivery. "the Guv'ment do take a bite, don't she?"
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 8:37pm.
You need to splain why you aren't out eating sushi! How's your vacay going?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by missy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 8:37pm.
lct - your avie... splain pls :\
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Hugh Jackman + Beach + Jowling = Seeeexxxyyyy
Well, OK then.
I think the "2 chairs" still holds the record on ARS. Didn't they sell at auction for just under a mil? The twin hosts (or hostesses), I'll call them Rod and Todd, ended up buying them, I think.
Haven't yet convinced my trumpety man that Antiques Roadshow is in the least bit interesting, but I'm hoping some old crusty-assed-all-tarnished-to-hell-piece-of-shit- looking-50+-year-old-trumpet-that-was-used-by-Satchmo comes on for appraisal. That will be the day I get my sweet vengeance.
Sweet sweet vengeance.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
lct - your avie... splain pls :\
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
@Muffin
I hang my head in shame for not recognizing that!
LOVE that movie - and I abhor n cage, so that's saying a LOT.
the music... ah the music is outstanding.
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I found myself driving past convenience stores... that weren't on the way home
I once watched an episode where this lady brought in these vases she had in her yard - I guess they were Inca vases or something 250K each - oh and she had 2!!
Tits: Great minds think alike in their abhorrence of N Cage. Except in the brilliance that is RA, that is.
(hehe, IG said fontanelle... hehe hehe)
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Did anyone get a shot of the pee-trail as Memaw walked away? Please tell me it's on youtube.
TITS, that Ange skeletal claw will haunt me in the night.
Dayum!! I love that show. I always dream of having something so valuable and they tell me so in front of millions of viewers.
And MK, you need to put Werther's out there, too.
The ugly truth about Jon and Kate Gosselin:
http://gosselinswithoutpity.blogspot.com/
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by DeeDee on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:52pm.
totally!
love that show man
(any new developments on puppy cam?!?!)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by MuffinAmy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:59pm.
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One more?
"Now, mind his li'l fontanelle!"
Don't get me started, IG ;-)
MALE CONVICT IN GROUP THERAPY: Sometimes, I get the menstrual cramps real hard.
Most. Quote. Worthy. Movie. Ever.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Submitted by MuffinAmy on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:53pm.
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"Son, you got a panty on your head." :o)
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:48pm.
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Sorry, Tits, Raising Arizona is ALWAYS quote-worthy in my book.
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"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Another reason why I adore you MK. Only you would post a story about Antiques Roadshow.
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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
Monsoon?
That's the only Edwina you should be quoting here! :)
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Submitted by Triscuit on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:34pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 7:08pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I saw that one and I thought it was worth more. Like $1 mill.or some shit.
But I am also an asshole.
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*giggles* I think it sold for like $750,000 (that's figuring the auctioneers take and such.)
Noooooo, you're not an asshole! You are a lovely lady. ♥♥
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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! ~Homer Simpson
that old lady looks like kathy griffin's mom