Everybody Into Quarantine!
Wonky McValtrex and Benji Madden are reportedly no longer bumping ass warts which means they are out in the wild spreading their skank! While we're running for quarantine shelters, the bitches who make Valtrex are having a fun time parade! Their #1 converter is going back to work!
According to Star Magazine, Wonky quit Benji because he's too-controlling. When he found out that she was being gross with Nachos in Miami, he freaked out at her. Benji totally did the "smell the puss" test on her.
The source said, "She couldn't take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble. She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in."
I think in Wonky-talk "fenced in" means that Benji wouldn't let other dudes space dock her.
Benji apparently is herpmatized, because he wanted a second chance from Wonky. "He fought for a second chance and asked if they could talk it out but Paris said she was done talking." That's because she probably already lined up two dozen rebound dicks.
You know that somewhere in the world Nicole Richie is eating her one chickpea lunch and screaming "Halleljuah" because she doesn't have to see Wonky's skank ass face at Madden gatherings anymore. It was bad enough that she had to play fake nice with her for the cameras.
Paris unleashed, she might be headed staight to Britney for a jailbreak.
http://starcasm.net/archives/1717
http://starcasm.net When the truth doesn't hurt enough.
Look, the only reason these 2 "split up" is because the Wonk wanted dick at nite and "Benji" wanted to spend the nights trying on her old tittie-holders and Spanx - that dude is a fag. A bigger fag than me, even - check out those eyebrows..and the way he plucks 'em. And those rosebud, Betty Boop lips! He's a raging queen.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
Ohhh, I'm sooo sad to read this. He is so fucking ugly and disgusting, I'm sure he smells like BO and cigarettes. She, with her crabs crawling all over her vadge, waiting to be released. They are perfect for each other! I really wanted to see them get married and have some horrendous looking kids and go through a divorce that breaks her bank account. I think marrying a nobody loser with a faux punk band would have been so funny....that bitch probably always thought she would marry Nachos or some other Greek shipping heir. I'm sure these two assholes will get back together...just watch.
Snowy! Alright, then! And Paris is saying in that pic "I just farted quietly, and I liked it!" She looks gross there!.. Benji does look extra sweeet in that pic.
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Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
Benji Madden looks hot in this picture too.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 5:41pm.
I hope she gets back with Nachos. He seems to really treat her like crap.
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THAT is the funniest thing I've read yet!
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♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
okie: he's getting snowpieceismahboo on his pee pee so don't hate!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Look guys, Benji is at the Tattoo parlor right now, getting my name put on that lil free space on his hand. Sorry! But its really really true! I swear on this pill bottle.. well, I can't swear on that,but we can pinky swear, ok??
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Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
NOW what is Benji Madden gonna do?????
WE LOVE YOU,Benji Madden!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Benji Madden is FREEEEEEEEE! come back to us Benji, we miss you.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
This heavy make up is suitable for middle aged matron. She is is too skinny and too blonde to wear it
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*Power corrupts*Absolute power corrupts absolutely*
Ummmmm... Benji Madden offering a "big girl" relationship? Ha. They're both raging idiots. They deserve each other.
That's really too bad... I was counting on seeing some little baby wonky-chubs.
The nerve of him trying to make her stop bar and bed hopping and being known as the whore that she is, and become an actual "lady" by offering her a "big girl relationship" Bad Bad Benji!! You can't turn a whore into a woman!
YEP ITS LARRY KING ACCORDING TO THIS http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005092/board/thread/20051535
FINAALLLYY!! I Would've Left That Sheep Like Grease Monkey a long time ago!!!!
"Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Dollars,Do Not touch Me On The Way Out The Door."
So he's too controlling because he doesn't like his girlfriend screwing other dudes? Awww, too bad. He should have known it's against Paris' DNA to be monogamous.
LOL! I would like to take a moment to show some luv to LoLo. Bitch worked hard today and she had fun doin' it:) Ha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 8:23pm.
Sandbitch - your avatar is NOT funny.
==>Listen 'ere. If the decorations are up in Kmart then it's Xmas as far as I'm concerned.
Sandbitch - your avatar is NOT funny.
(side-eye)
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sure took that Douche bag long enough to figure out once a stanky ho, always a stanky ho. Gawd, I really hate that Wonky McValtrex...I wish she would be considered a toxic waste dump and hazmat will put her in quarantine for life.
Brilliant! As much as I dislike the wonk, I dislike Madden even more for wallowing in her cash. Now he'll have to make his *ahem* music pay the rent.
OK... I had to look up space docking, too. Ugh, yuck, eww and gross. Then I made the mistake of clicking on donkey punch, another thing I wish I never saw.
I don't know.. the body language says SHE is the controlling one. She's got both her giant paws on him but he's curled outward and AWAY from her.
He always looks miserable anyway. I bet he'll look a lot happier once she's gone, thought he'll always have that PARTING ITCHING BURNING GIFT to remind him of her.
I would've never known what space docking was until I read this post. Thanks urban dictionary for that disgusting piece of information!
And I still think Paris' real infatuation is with Nicole. They probably played doctor a lot as kids and Paris never got over that shit.
LoLo, watch out. I am a three-time Jell-o wrestling champion. This homo don't play! Lol
Good pot - *Drools* I have a mediocre delivery service. I bow humbly at your feet.
i used to love paris!!! really!!! but she´s not funny anymore. and she´s getting too old. paris, honey... time to grow up.
**whatever**
Benji totally did the "smell the puss" test on her.
LMFAO MK!! *retch*
But seriously, no way he could have done that and lived. Probably made a roadie do it. Poor roadie, we'll miss you.
Oh Sheeps, you silver-tounged old fox!
I am quite in love you. :)
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
LOL at space dock!!!
"Stop wasting my time with junk like this. Don't you have someone better to talk to? How about real people who are struggling to make ends meet. Not high paid sluts."
Tell the truth Wonkey! You dumped him because he wouldn't let you do your patriotic duty and spread the love during fleet week.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 6:15pm.
I have a vat of acid she can bathe in.
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I believe there's a jeffery dalmer that posts here.... I think we have a LOVE CONNECTION!
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I have a vat of acid she can bathe in.
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
"She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in."
TRANSLATION; Edited: Benji suspects that Paris might be seeing someone behind his back. You smart Benji!!
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Il n'ya plus que la Patagonie, la Patagonie, qui convienne à mon immense tristesse..~Blaise Cendrars
good for Benji..
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Ick. Paris looks old enough to be Benji's mother. She's never been attractive, but when did she get so OLD looking?
I wonder if by controlling she means got really ticked off when he saw her screwing around with her ex that she's never got over?
I hope she gets back with Nachos. He seems to really treat her like crap.
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 4:49pm.
You know, say what you want about Paris (Lord knows I've said plenty), but I haven't seen tons of pictures of her where she's clearly drunk and/or high out of her mind like I have of Britney, Lindsay, etc....hell, I've even seen more of CHRISTINA AGUILERA than I have of Paris. She may be a spoiled, skank bitch, but I don't think she's a crazy out-of-control substance abuser like a lot of them.
Because she has a tight grip on her publicity. She wouldn't call the paps if she was falling down drunk. A Socialite's Life had some pics with her having to be carried out of a club by two people with a big stain on her dress like she puked on herself. Most of the time if she's like that her security makes sure nobody can get near her. She makes friends with a lot of the paps. Mintz used to order food for the photogs that would hang around her house. Radar Online wrote a story about how she had a deal set up with Ken Baker at Us Weekly to give him exclusives if he would print the negative stories she fed him about bitches she hated. She sucks a lot of photog and blogger cock to make sure they print all the crap she feeds them. TMZ, Perez, etc...
TITS - I know huh.
So question. This is the official poop thread, which is on topic...where the hell is LCT?
The silly putty nose is going to droop into her cleavage if she doesn't go under the knife soon. I feel skeeved just looking at her touching ANYONE.
bleh.
ick.
poo.
*cry*
Miss Priss! Dude i DID look! OMFG i feel real purdy now!
STANK! STANK UP ON IT!
I wonder if Ricki and I would fight crime together or maybe wrestle topless?
Ive got jello....
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 5:31pm.
Oh my, Ricki and LoLo smoking a joint and shooting the shit.
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well color me jealous...
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When you can't lie to yourself, that's depressing.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 5:10pm.
Very cute.
(and not dirty?)
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Oh my, Ricki and LoLo smoking a joint and shooting the shit. That would be a fun night.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
Lolo
Im near you long time
Im near you right now.
Look behind you
Mwahahah.
Loves Lolo
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
I don't think she's a crazy out-of-control substance abuser either, but that is irrelevant to the fact that I'd love to smack her with a sock filled with horse manure.
Ya know, for fun.
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When you can't lie to yourself, that's depressing.
Miss Priss arent you near me too?
Wanna nug it out cusser face?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
And so once again
My dear Johnny my dear friend
And so once again you are fightin' us all
And when I ask you why
You raise your sticks and cry, and I fall
Oh, my friend
How did you come
To trade the fiddle for the drum
*reading the comments, dry heaving and running off*