TMI: The World's Fattest Man Consumated His Marriage!
When the world's fattest dude, Manuel Uribe, got married to Claudia Solis last month in Mexico, my gutter trash mind immediately created pictures of how the two crazy kids spent their wedding night. I figured Claudia poured some guacamole and hot sauce on her cooze and Manuel had himself an all-you-can-eat fish taco midnight dinner.
Well, according to the Daily Star it didn't really go down like that. Manuel's friends really wanted him to bust a load of heavy cream (he really cums heavy cream) on his wedding night, so they made him a special sex ramp inspired by Liberator. The three-foot ramp is reinforced with concrete and what's ever in Posh's tits. Manuel just has to lay his lower half on the ramp, so that Claudia has easy access to ride his chorizo until she gets hers or until his heart calls "time out."
Manuel confirmed the joyous news to the Daily Star, “We have finally had sex and we are a true couple in the eyes of God. We feel like we are in heaven here on Earth.”
Claudia better fuck in moderation. Every time Manuel busts one inside her, she gains 5lbs.
And when Manuel loses all the weight, they can donate their sex toy to the city to be used as a highway on-ramp!
Thanks jazzfish_77
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Michael K says:
'Every time Manuel busts one inside her, she gains 5lbs'
LOL, holy shit :D
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Aki Hoshino Gallery
tmi
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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:36pm.
"leaving a trail of fecal infested air in their wake!"
EW!! I've been behind them. Then you try to get away from the stench, and they keep showing up near the section you're in.
Thanks for the "Thinking of England" info. Excellent research!
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@Zappy
"Don't forget that 'old lady smell'..what is it Jean Nate' or L'Aire du Temps?"
Yep, with a hint of mothballs and Depends.
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angel_i
You too, have the gift and curse of a great sense of smell!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Sorry but ew, ew, EW!!. I don't want a damaging image of this humungous whale out of the water copulating with his chubby-chaser wife. I want to have my breakfast in peace, MK!.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Perv (you said to call you one!)
call me a perv...but I wonder if his peen is small....
Submitted by TheVinylVillager on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:34pm.
my trainer once said that for every 20 pounds a man loses, he can "release' up to an inch more of the penga. Even if God blessed this
dude with a 12 incher, there can not be more than a mushroom cap still visible under the weight of a few hundred pounds of Fupa.
Just saying. Ramp or not, it had to feel like dry humping a waterbed to Mrs. Fatso.
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OMG..I'm laughing so hard here...lmao @ releasing the penga...snort lmao..omg.. lmao @ few hundred pounds of Fupa..omg..just too funny!
Submitted by TheVinylVillager on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:34pm.
my trainer once said that for every 20 pounds a man loses, he can "release' up to an inch more of the penga. Even if God blessed this
dude with a 12 incher, there can not be more than a mushroom cap still visible under the weight of a few hundred pounds of Fupa.
Just saying. Ramp or not, it had to feel like dry humping a waterbed to Mrs. Fatso.
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OMG..I'm laughing so hard here...lmao @ releasing the penga...snort lmao..omg.. lmao @ few hundred pounds of Fupa..omg..just too funny!
C'mon people, exchange Claudia for Princess Leia and you've got a fap fest.
and kids who are big enough to be potty-trained, but are not and are in a diaper that is clearly hours old, walking around the store with Mom and leaving a trail of fecal infested air in their wake!
I don't want to hear publicly that some couple consummated their marriage. BFD.
I'd have more respect for his friends if they helped him lose weight and not accommodated his physical limitations brought on by said weight.
If you're too fat to 1) move independently; 2) go to the bathroom on a toilet; 3) get your own food; and 4) have sex unaided, you need to fucking lose weight.
No empathy here for someone using their massive obesity as a springboard to fame. Wait, that's not even physically possible. Using their massive obesity as a gateway to fame. Wait...
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:18pm.
I should be more PC here and add that all kinds of people have gnarly odors, not just the obese.
There are those with halitosis, whose breath reeks like mothballs and feta cheese.
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LOL...mothballs and feta cheese!..I thought I was the only one who smelled mothballs on peoples breath. Don't forget that 'old lady smell'..what is it Jean Nate' or L'Aire du Temps?
And crackheads. They smell like burnt plastic and urine.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
@Deb! You're saving me! Thanks! When will I ever learn to shut up?!?
Powder Puff Girls. Those girls that smell like cosmetic counters!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
my trainer once said that for every 20 pounds a man loses, he can "release' up to an inch more of the penga. Even if God blessed this
dude with a 12 incher, there can not be more than a mushroom cap still visible under the weight of a few hundred pounds of Fupa.
Just saying. Ramp or not, it had to feel like dry humping a waterbed to Mrs. Fatso.
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
Deb!
First....I found that definition....scroll down, I sent it to you.
My contribution to the odor offenders.
The most unfortunate for all involved despair of "halitosis crotchitosis"
Oh wow...Claudia...um...wow girl...kudos to you...I guess.
The flour's been rolled. The hole's been poked. The cream's been glazed. Give me a coffee and let's call it a Krispy Kreme.
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:18pm.
I should be more PC here and add that all kinds of people have gnarly odors, not just the obese.
There are those with halitosis, whose breath reeks like moth balls and feta cheese.
There are heavy smokers whose entire being reeks of butts.
There are the perfume dumpers who use half a bottle every morning. You can smell them 5 minutes before they even get there.
Let's see. Who else?
There are the old drunks who smell like old sweat and Eau de Lite Beer.
Any other great odor offenders?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
...Can you imagine the 'rhoids he must have? lawdy leaves me itchy..
seriously, would he not need some contraption to hold the fat up and out of the way?
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
OMG Mel-Tang,
But you're not as fat as that guy, right? I mean - that's morbidly obese. That's how my sister's friends were. 18 and they didn't really "do" stairs.
But you're joking? I can't tell...LOL! I can, and then I think I'm wrong! Meanie!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Stock Broker,
He thought he was sleeping on the wetspot, turned out it was Claudia.
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Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:23pm.
Sooo.....guess he sleeps on the wet spot.
LMAO I hate that. hahaha
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Sooo.....guess he sleeps on the wet spot.
Guys I'm fat and I don't smell. I'm sure the cheese under my fat rolls isn't attractive, but hey, we can't please everyone.
Rich and famous people suck.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:19pm.
Can you imagine the smegma?
**gags**
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Hunny, I have SEEN it! BLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEECH!
Under BOTH of their arms and OMG in between her legs UGH UGH UGH!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:20pm.
Oh fuckety fuckety FUCK! Now the mental pics will haunt me until I choke on the SAUSAGE AND PEPPERS I have for lunch! CHORIZO! Thanks a lot, MK.
FUUUUUUUUUUCK!
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OMG...too funny..Make sure there are no short 'n curleys in the sangaweech!
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:19pm.
Can you imagine the smegma?
**gags**
smegma in general....*gags**throws-up**diesonfloor* BLECH.
Rich and famous people suck.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:15pm.
I swear to God, I think his nipple winked at me.
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I'm snortling here...This laughter is making me wheeze!
Oh fuckety fuckety FUCK! Now the mental pics will haunt me until I choke on the SAUSAGE AND PEPPERS I have for lunch! CHORIZO! Thanks a lot, MK.
FUUUUUUUUUUCK!
I try not to be "fatist" or "weightist" or whatever the hell one trying to be PC would call this but...
Gott Dayum, I think I am going to be sick. That is one fat disgusting image in my mind.
*runs off to throw up*
Can you imagine the smegma?
**gags**
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:53am.
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:52am.
I feel a little better.
I don't know how the wife got through it. Obese people have a gnarly odor.
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UGH, yes! My little sister got a little bigger and I THINK she compensated by taking on two of the FATTEST people I have ever seen as friends. I say she was compensating because they were not very nice people. But DAAAAAAAAAAYUM! One of them stayed over for a week or something once and EVERY time she opened that bedroom door the dogs would FLEE! I'm not even kidding - they would run. And I never once ate a meal with that girl - I just couldn't do it. Blech!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Did he take his teefs out before sex? It looks like he didn't snap um back in all the way.
The whole thought of this giant gelatinous blob of gargantuan hippopotamus lovin' is giving me sensory trauma. I have to poke my minds eye out.
Do you neeeeed any body?
I just want someone to love
Do you neeeeed a new body?
Its just more cushions to love
I get by with a little sex ramp from my friend
Oh
I get by with a little ramp from my friends
with a little concrete ramp from my frieeeeeeeeeeeeends!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
So, I'm not understanding how the fuck they had sex. How is the ramp used? Was he on top? Scratch that, she'd suffocate, uhm, doggy style? Cowgirl?
Seriously. HOW?
*resumes barfing*
Oh gawd dayum, talk about too much information!!!!
I swear to God, I think his nipple winked at me.
Gosh! If my friends would build ME a ramp, I could finally fit into my mom jeans!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
Claudia must have looked like a "lagartija en piuedra" while fucking with him... meaning, she probably looked like a lizzard laying on a huge stone.
www.myspace.com/5dechocolatey1defresa
Mk your visuals are so disturbing... I'm going to be sick.
I can't believe I just said that.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Deb!
Ya gotta love Google...
"Close your eyes and think of England"
Meaning:
A reference to unwanted sexual intercourse.
Origin:
This is supposed to be recorded in the 1912 journal of Lady Hillingdon:
"When I hear his steps outside my door I lie down on my bed, open my legs and think of England."
That is widely repeated in various reference texts, but without access to the source document it has to be counted as speculative. If it is indeed accurate then we can also speculate that the good lady's forbearance wasn't frequently tested. She was married to Charles William Mills, second Baron Hillingdon, who had retired from active business life five years prior to this journal entry, owing to ill health. The couple had three children.
I'm alternating between dry heaving and laughter!
This must be heaven!
his peen must be teeeny.
jgm22
Sounds like the contraption we used the night we consummated our marriage.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Submitted by MJF on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:02pm.
I wish I would have known I was supposed to be issuing press releases every time I got laid. I wonder how much free celeb swag this regretful oversight has cost me?
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Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if it doesn't involve a reinforced concrete ramp it's not newsworthy.
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You fargin sneaky bastage!
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:53am
i am glad you feel a lil better! :)
i do not know how the wife got through it either.
i refuse to believe she wasn't stoned outta her damn mind while doing it.
I'm sorry call me what you want. Severely obese people like this gross me the fuck out and to try and imagine someone having sex with them. *barfs*