TMI: The World's Fattest Man Consumated His Marriage!
When the world's fattest dude, Manuel Uribe, got married to Claudia Solis last month in Mexico, my gutter trash mind immediately created pictures of how the two crazy kids spent their wedding night. I figured Claudia poured some guacamole and hot sauce on her cooze and Manuel had himself an all-you-can-eat fish taco midnight dinner.
Well, according to the Daily Star it didn't really go down like that. Manuel's friends really wanted him to bust a load of heavy cream (he really cums heavy cream) on his wedding night, so they made him a special sex ramp inspired by Liberator. The three-foot ramp is reinforced with concrete and what's ever in Posh's tits. Manuel just has to lay his lower half on the ramp, so that Claudia has easy access to ride his chorizo until she gets hers or until his heart calls "time out."
Manuel confirmed the joyous news to the Daily Star, “We have finally had sex and we are a true couple in the eyes of God. We feel like we are in heaven here on Earth.”
Claudia better fuck in moderation. Every time Manuel busts one inside her, she gains 5lbs.
And when Manuel loses all the weight, they can donate their sex toy to the city to be used as a highway on-ramp!
Thanks jazzfish_77
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OK, Migraine. I'm standing by!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 12:05pm.
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:55am.
What's that from?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
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Shit! Put me on the spot.....now I can't remember :(
I'll have to give it some thought. It's an oldie but a goodie.
Thats what I was thinking MJF
And i dont get it how was he positioned? How did she not throwup? Did he have a heart atack? Is his peen big and fat? If not then what the point? Did she finish? Was it the best she ever had? Was he all squishy? Did he feel anything???
I mean if your gunna share you might as well give us the whole dam picture!!!
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I love him ♥
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:55am.
What's that from?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
If this does not curve my appetite I don't know what will...GROSS....
Thank you
That's really uhsgustin!..I wonder what is hidden in those 'folds of love'..riding that must be like a waterbed..more like a flubbuhbed.
Just rambling thoughts.
I wish I would have known I was supposed to be issuing press releases every time I got laid. I wonder how much free celeb swag this regretful oversight has cost me?
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
yuck :/ lol
Submitted by Diego on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:55am.
Now that is a friend. Not just anyone would make you a sex ramp.
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LOL, so true!
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You fargin sneaky bastage!
I still can't imagine how it works, but that is probably for the best.
OMG highway on-ramp. LMFAO
Rich and famous people suck.
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RIMADYL KILLS
Good for them. And hopefully, sexy times will make him shed some more weight.
OMG! @ that 5 lbs remark. MK ur so nasty, but u crack me up at the same time. Ur sooo fuckin' funny.
His wife has to be batshit crazy.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Thanks MK. This is the most vomit inducing post ever! I'd rather stare at Pete Doherty's pale, zit-covered, bloody face all day.
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cuteness
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.php4
Submitted by LoLo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:41am.
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RFLMAO.
oh, jesus christ, i need to go and rest my eyes, that was just too much.
Submitted by LoLo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:48am.
HA HA HA CTH
ANIMAL SEX SQUEEL LIKE COUNTY SIRENS!
Ha, and buy this fat fucker a bra.
TITTY SPRINKLES!
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
mk, that was just gross, gross, gross.
Now that is a friend. Not just anyone would make you a sex ramp.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:53am.
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:52am.
I feel a little better.
I don't know how the wife got through it. Obese people have a gnarly odor.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
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Closed her eyes and thought of England
Could you imagine! "honey, could you climb onto the jungle gyms so I can ride your dick?" *cries*
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Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:52am.
I feel a little better.
I don't know how the wife got through it. Obese people have a gnarly odor.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I think I'm going to be sick. Seriously, though, how does someone like him even have a functioning penis? I wouldn't imagine that the blood would flow there so easily.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:49am.
u shouldn't worry! his sexy times don't count as he needs help to do it. what kinda man needs concrete ramps to have sex!? i can understand viagra but concrete ramps are way too much!
My friend once told me her mans jizz smelled like BigMac special sauce - he was a really classy guy!
Even with that knowledge, the heavy cream jizz and all the visuals just described ensure that I will not be eating this afternoon - thanks MK, I want to fit into my tightest jeans this weekend!
I wondered what that registered on the richter scale. EARTHQUAAAAAKE!
MK's description was pretty graphic...i am in fact grossed the fuck out and i'm feeling sick to my stomach. thanx a lot!
OMG, that is totally TTTTTMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiii
Great. The world's fattest dude is having more sexy times than I. :(
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
HA HA HA CTH
ANIMAL SEX SQUEEL LIKE COUNTY SIRENS!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Wow very interesting, good for them!
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
God damn it i didnt need to know the details.
You got any pictures of that though?
I need to make my holiday cards.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I don't mind a little cushion, but FUCK! Bumbles bounce!
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ugh...i get that it takes all kinds to make the world go round...but the visuals of this is revolting...*blech*
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
Submitted by LoLo on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:41am.
FAT FUCK TIMES!
AND PUT A BRA ON AND EAT YOUR GREEN BEANS AND STOP THE SOCK SLOT WITH A BIG MAC!
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
LMAO! the ramp didn't break!? wow
"I think she's a potato digger!"
LMAO!!
☻There's nothing like the taste of sweet decline---Foo Fighters☻
Yuck.
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... they let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV and she looks like a foot - Peter Griffin from Family Guy.
WTF..Did he get lots of money from those shows he did? I'm just wondering b/c I think she's a potato digger!
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Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
Damn you MK! LMAO
You don't make it any easier with your sick, twisted jokes, which made me bust out laughing times here at work.
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
FAT FUCK TIMES!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 11:40am.
omg, they found his PEEN?
The same people helped me find the contact I lost while skiing
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
And why do we need to know this!?
EW
Nasty!
you have this fat fuck when there are children starving in the world...
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Every time Manuel busts one inside her, she gains 5lbs.
Okay, this is just wrong. LOL
omg, they found his PEEN?
.
don't get how...have to think about this one for a sec..there done..moving on.
wow- um, methinks I'm going to have a salad to lunch
Oh MK, that is just disgusting!!
I understand beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that crap, but come on...this is just too much. Literally!