Guy Ritchie Is Officially Free!
Guy Ritchie is probably feeling an unfamiliar itching down below this morning, because his nutsack has finally returned to him! Reunited and it feels so saggy!
A court in the UK declared Vadge & Guy's 7-year marriage over in just a matter of minutes. It will take about six weeks of gross paperwork for the divorce to be finalized and official. Both Vadge and Guy decided to skip the court party today. She's on tour in Philadelphia and he's filming in Liverpool.
According to the papers,the two haven't lived together for 6-months. Vadge signed a sworn statement saying that the reason their marriage failed was due to Guy's "unreasonable behaviour." She also said his bad behavior was continuing.
Unreasonable behavior? Eating a delicious cheeseburger is unreasonable behavior to her. Fuck. Disagreeing with her opinion is unreasonable. Shit. Having any kind of fun is unreasonable! She should have just wrote that he didn't follow THE CONTRACT! "Contract, Guy, contract. You didn't follow it."
There were reports that Guy Ritchie told Vadge to keep her sweet money, but The Sun claims that isn't so. According to their asses, Guy will get to keep his pub, the country estate and he will also get a cash payment of £25million (or $50USD after the conversion).
Last night, Guy told reporters, "It was never about money – never about her bloody art collection. I just wanted to settle it and move on. I didn't raise any objections at any stage until she insisted the children lived permanently in New York."
Now that they are pretty much divorced, can Vadge please give back the British accent?
well I'm moving to London...
I always said I wouldn't mind Madge's reject. Now I can start dating Guy. Lucky me.
Wow. Its amazing how fast he got the hot back!
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Wyle E Coyote
"Yeah, the joke doesn't really work if I have to explain it in detail. Just give me an endearing look and continue eating your panini", MK.
I think Guy needs to get the kids free as well. That flaky, crazy old guttersnipe is going to ruin those kids. She will screw them up good and permanent.
I wish there was an agency that would intervene when people like Madonna, Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson, etc. decide to "own" children; because those people are freak shows on their own and it's sad they bring little innocent kids into their worlds.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 8:38pm.
And I'm thinking Black Russian.
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A place for book lovers
Submitted by Creepella on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 8:29pm.
In honor of ESE, I'm thinking White Russian. It's 5:07 here and I'm beat (after a heavy day of blogging with ostensible work efforts thrown in for appearance's sake).
I'm thinking Russian. Don't know why - I know A-Rod isn't Russian, but that's what I'm thinkin'
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Bye! Good
Submitted by Creepella on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 8:26pm.
Taking bets for what accent she's gonna have next.
Dominican?
Ok. Taking bets for what accent she's gonna have next.
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Bye! Good
She can have all the money she wants and keep it shoved up her ass.
Guy has reclaimed his dignity.
And the two boys will have plenty to say about their mum in about twenty years, which is right around the time she's touring on her "Liver Spots and Lumbago" tour with a bloated and balding Justin Timberdouche.
"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
I'm sure unreasonable behaviour is just another form of 'irreconcilable differences'.
nothing but words.
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Guy needs to seriously thank Jesus for delivering him from hell. He better take his salvation seriously from now on.
Heather you are correct the pound has dropped to about 1.49 to 1 dollar interbank
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
You are a bit behind in the times, the British pound has plummeted so it doesn't look quite as pretty in dollars anymore. $37 mil if we want to nitpick it.
The dingo ATE the baby.
He didnt take the bitch and play with it, he fucking ATE it.
The dingo ate the little bitch baby.
THE DINGO ATE THE BITCH BABY.
Get off Okies ass man. You dont get it.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 5:19pm.
Booooooooooooo you suck!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Uh oh. Someone needs a hug. Strewth! Hell, I'm American as apple pie and even I know WTF that means!
"Fuck you, you little Bitch!!
OMG You think You fucking have a right to call me a name b/c I don't know the facts"
Er... strewth is not a name.. It is an Aussie expression Aussies use for surprise or as Brits would say: Crikey!
Holy crap! No need to become all aggresive because 1) you laugh at your husband for something he said that is actually true. b) not having travelled enough to know that strewth is as famous an Aussie expression as: Da Dingo took mah baby!!!
I thought it was well known these two actors were Aussies. Anyway I will let you go now because you will just say something else that I will have to come back and correct. x
Sad thing about all this is that that weak-kneed sissy-boy will probably go on and marry another ball-breaking cunt, who will abuse him just like the cunt who divorced him.
I have rarely seen such a specimen of a pussy-whipped wimp as this dude - or "dude-ess" as he should be known.
First of all, man, change your name - "Guy" just isn't you. I know that you're more like a "Percy" or "Wendell", but for god's sake "Guy" is such a faggy name! Make it "Jack" or "Rob" or something.
Second, go chase some 19 year old blonde twat, instead of making yourself the laughingstock of REAL men - stop dating or marrying a smelly clam who's old enough to be your Mum/Grandmum.
I dunno...he even has a milk-sop looking face, so maybe there is no hope for this pussy.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"I didn't raise any objections at any stage until she insisted the children lived permanently in New York."
You would think since Vadge herself grew up without a mother, she would not want have her kids go thru the trauma of being single parented or seperated from their father..
this once again proves without a doubt ,WHO and WHAT she truly is.. her true colours come shinin thru ..
What a ROTTEN FuCKING BITCH, a shitass THIEF, self important, over inflated egotistical , VENGEFUL, HATEFUL GODDAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SUB HUMAN FUCKING SHIT...
It would be a cold day in hell before I let that foul cunt take my son and leave the country with him.
God I have never wanted to fish slap her so hard in all my life since I read this.
"I dont keep up with The Joneses, I AM The Joneses"- NeNe Real Housewives of ATL..
Team Guy. I hope he feels safe to come out of the closet now that he's rid himself of that psycho controlling bitch.
I bet "unreasonable behaviour" is just a standard catch-phrase for the grounds for divorce when it's not something like insanity or adultery. In Cali (a friend said), they say "irreconcilable differences."
I wonder who gets that shit British accent she's been hagging around since they got married. Guy is a good looking gent, I must say.
Great, now she's moving back to the States so we have to put up with her. The Brits could have kept her.
Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 2:36pm.
I think mine is really just a fancy water gun.
Lets fill it with grain alcohol!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
LoLo. I don't want you to pull a pistol on me (Av) but if you must, atleast Whip me w/ it!! *says all innocent like*
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Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
*licks Okies Face*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
LoLo!!! Balls, Its what's for dinner! no, maybe I put some steak down from the freezer, not sure.. Regardless It sure will be gooood eatin!!
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Take that dick off your shoulder and put it in your mouf. Drink the evidence and hide the dick behind your head! The police is comin!
Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 2:24pm.
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 12:29pm.
Its tooolate to apologise
Its tooooooooo late
Its toooo late to apologise
Its too late
Glitterkitty dont get bent out of shape hon.
Nicole Kidman and Hugh suck balls in that movie so who fucking cares?
Balls, they suck em!
Okie is my home cheese. I go to her church and worship her like licorice jesus in candy land.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
GREAT for GUY. LIVE IT UP.
and thank god we don't have to listen to her screeching, mewling, self-important claptrap any longer. and her hold on her fans is loosening.
and thanks to the kabbalah officials who told her to shut up. they saved us from her endless spewing of
"juicy" details of how BAD - read HUMAN - her ex husband was.
and a great round of applause for the british courts. they, too, helpe keep us sane.
advice to madonna: grow up.
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 12:29pm.
oklahoma, no need to apologise love. You after all laughed at your husband for thinking Nicole and Hugh had Aussie accents (cos that is what they are and are playing too) and then call me stupid!
Strewth!
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Fuck you, you little Bitch!!
OMG You think You fucking have a right to call me a name b/c I don't know the facts, the actual facts about people that I don't know.. now that is fucking Creepy shit!!
Unreasonable behavior, yeah because her screwing A-Rod while she was married was very reasonable. Also forcing Guy and her kids to wear red yarn on their wrists and become fake Jews was very reasonable too. And buying a mansion nextdoor to turn it into a gym, that's reasonable. We could go on and on.............. that's some crazy shit
"It kind of looks like a little girl and her memaw bonding during karaoke hour at Shady Pines."
Bad Behaviour = "Guy did not worship my post menopausal beef jerky botty in the manner of which I am accustomed. Guy did not find my emasculating, roid infested voice to be the coo of a thousand angels on a pin. Guy did not fall in line immediately when I changed the rules according to my moods on the "daily rules" list posted on the fridge, in plain view, which I also texted to his Iphone, email and staple gunned to his anus. Guy did not..."
Fuck this self-important cunt GARRRR I hate her soooooooooooo much.
Unreasonable behaviour. What is he five? He din't wanna a scarf? O, poor boo boo, he din't want to live wherever you said to live? Poor Madonna! He din't want to carry your guitar for you? He is terrible! He needs a time-out, fersure!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed Chola Diary , Lean Like a Chola
It's Britney, Bitch!<
"She also said his bad behavior was continuing."
All fukkin right for bad behavior! Congrats, Guy. Enjoy. Loves yur balls!
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Guy didn't want any money but he still got $50 million dollars??! That's the sweetest deal in the world! You get paid to divorce Madonna! He is so getting wasted right now! Weeee! I wish I was in London partying up with him, he just got wayyy hotter! Madonna is such the control freak cunt! Unreasonable is HER middle name! EW!
Your face!
Unreasonable behavior = watching TV with a beer and burger in hand, and insisting that Rocco and David watch with him.
And I do feel sorry for Lourdes. Her dad is in her life regularly, but I betcha she does care about Guy because he's been there for most of her life as a third parental figure. And now her evil cunt of a mom will doubtlessly not let her see him because the courts won't make her, and because Lourdes is a minor and can't do her own thing.
I'd hit it!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 11:14am.
I wonder how Lourdes feels about all this? If she got attached to Guy? I was in a long term relationship w/ a guy who had 2 daughters. I'd known the younger one since she was a baby. When we broke up & I no longer got to see the girls, it was devastating for me. I missed them more than him!
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I don't think this will affect her that much in a negative way because Lourdes has her own daddy, who apparently spends lots of time with her. I'd say she's more on the lucky side considering the circumstances because Guy was/is an extra daddy and not a replacement.
Unreasonable behavior=he wanted his dignity back.
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Submitted by oklahoma on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 10:44am.
LoLo.. HAHA That tasting the freedom reminds me of the Southpark epi. where Cartman cooks that boys parents as revenge, and then tastes his tears.. Mmm your tears taste soo good.. mmmm! Scott Tennerman or something, wasn't it?? hahaha! B/c he like sold him some pubes..
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My favorite South Park episode. "Uuuummmm, the taste of unfathomable sadness . . . yummy, you guys. . ." while licking up the tears.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 12:02pm.
Suddenly Guy is hot to me. Call me, Guy!
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Same thought crossed my mind!!
He does look hotter.
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Madonna calling anyone "unreasonable?"
It's like the joke tells itself.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 11:14am.
I wonder how Lourdes feels about all this? If she got attached to Guy? I was in a long term relationship w/ a guy who had 2 daughters. I'd known the younger one since she was a baby. When we broke up & I no longer got to see the girls, it was devastating for me. I missed them more than him!
^^^^^^^^^^
I wondered the same thing. My ex's long-time girlfriend has known my daughter since she was a baby. Once his girlfriend confided to me that she probably would have left him a long time ago were it not for the fact that she loves my daughter so much and couldn't bear to leave her. *tear* I thought that was the coolest thing. They're still together (that was 5 years ago) so I hope things are better between them now.
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
oklahoma, no need to apologise love. You after all laughed at your husband for thinking Nicole and Hugh had Aussie accents (cos that is what they are and are playing too) and then call me stupid!
Strewth!
Good for Guy. You earned your money, I'm sure.
Enjoy.
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"Michael Phelps - No. The body is sexy, but the face didn't get the memo."--MK
wow that was a fast divorce!
good for him
Submitted by Green Is Good on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 11:51am.
Pearl_Necklace, as we speak the phone lines to Buckingham Palace and High Grove are melting from the millions of calls planning Guy's "Release from Vadge" party.
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AAAAAHAHAHAAA!! it's gonna rival the Obama election night dancin' in the streets!
Suddenly Guy is hot to me. Call me, Guy!
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Dick happens! - MK
Pearl_Necklace, as we speak the phone lines to Buckingham Palace and High Grove are melting from the millions of calls planning Guy's "Release from Vadge" party.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 11:39am.
So, any bets on how BIG the celebration Guy is going to throw? The Queen may as well make it a national goddamn holiday.
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Don't know why but your comment made me think of Prince Harry ringing him up with a crowd of high class hookers behind him ready to be dispatched to Guy's pub.
Okie- ♥♥♥ Yeah, I'd like that book too. The scottish accent is the hardest for me.