Kim Zolciak Is Posing For Playboy
Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover. PLAYBOY. Kim Zolciak, the wig torturer of "The Really Not Housewives of Atlanta" tells Paper Magazine that she's going to pose for an upcoming cover of Playboy. If Hugh Hefner signed off on this, then he really just needs to go to his room, lock the door, put the phone off the hook and stay there! This shit is a punishment to humanity! This must violate the constitution in some way.
Does Playboy even have the money for this shit?! The Photoshop budget alone is probably enough to get this country out of our economic crisis. When my eyeballs drown in their own barf after looking at Kim's nastiness in all its glory, I'm going to sue a bitch.
This might just be another lie coming out of her noise hole, because she also claims she's a size 2. Take a big sip of Diet Rite when you read this shit below and if you can make it through the whole thing without spitting up at least twice, then you're a strong person than me.
Kim said, "I'm actually 30, and [the controversy] is hilarious to me. In some of the clips there was a ton of makeup on me. In some of the footage I look like I'm 50 years old. I'm 30. I'm like a size 2. People tell me I'm so much prettier in person. TV makes you look so much different. I'm working on shooting a cover of Playboy. I guess 30 ain't that bad."
I'm starting to think that Kim's brains shriveled up a while ago and her wig does all the talking and thinking for her. Kim's wig is the one who is 30-years-old and a size 2. And hopefully her wig is the one who is spreading its titties and coochie for Playboy. Let's fucking hope!
Visit Paper to read the whole interview. You'll learn that Kim is the one who broke up with Big Papa and he's estranged from his wife. Kim is no longer working with Dallas Austin, but she did get a recording contract. She also said this: "My singing career was not an accurate portrayal of me singing." That wasn't singing, Kim. That was a hungover seal getting water tortured.
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Kim came into my North Atlanta bar a week and a half ago and let me just say that in person:
she DOES look better than on TV
she STILL looks older than 30
she is DEFINITELY smaller than when they filmed .. and
she COULD be a size 2 but is more likely a 4 or 6, but has either lost a lot of weight or the camera really does add pounds!!!!
how is this possible, when the none of the Rock of Love girls have done a celebrity pictorial yet?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I'm confused. A size 2 in the US is a size 6 in the UK- is that right? If so she is a liar, liar big pants on fire.If it's a UK size 18 then I apologise for my rudeness. I will say she needs to lose that wig- the drag queen she stole it from must be pissed off.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
If she has no muscle tone but is small, then she will photograph chubby. I am not sure the big hair helps either. The big blonde wig is usually what old women wear when making a drastic attempt to look young.
I know even the same sized people can have drastically different shapes with fat distributed in other places, but she's a fucking liar and I hate liars.
I looked up pics of her, and her body doesn't vary too much, so it's not like she was a two a few months ago. If you're a 2 you can't even make a double chin happen when you try. most images sport a jabba the huttish chin thing going on. She looks large and husky. I know from looking at that body that those boobs wouldn't fit into a size 2 dress, nor would those ham hock arms.
Funniest.Post.EVER!
Wow. She is so, incredibly, unbelieveably disgusting-looking. Holy shit, she's repulsive.
Team Nene, ya'll!
i could give half a shit about this waste of a show or the losers on it but is it just me or does this loser seem like an older version of famewhore heidi montag? grow up.. geez!
in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3
Who wants to see that thing naked?
She was already deemed "NOT HOT" by Lorenzo Lamus and his laser pointer, so that should be enough said!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
She is way to fugly to model for Playboy but them again they have used the washed up Pamela numerous times.I think they have great retouchers and will need to bring out the best to fix this chicks mess.
the thought of seeing her cooch is frightening!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Seriously, why would anyone believe anything Kim has to say? The wig, the supposed cancer, the size 2, the record contract? And if she is posing for Playboy, then we should be concerned for Hef, because it's obvious he has finally lost his mind in his advanced age. We need to form a prayer circle right now. Please, Dear Jesus, take the wheel. Be a lie detector machine, Lord.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 9:31pm.
He was a hot mess flirting with me (I thought) till he got up to go for popcorn, eased past us, and squeezed her knee as he rubbed on by.
^^
Consider yourself lucky, then.
Boys have cooties.
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YAAAAAAAY! How you been my dear? I blew the most impressive booger today. I thought of you.
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 9:34pm.
See ya tomorrow, ho's! Im on my way to Wal-Mart, so I can have my very own Sock Monkey to sleep with!!
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SQUID BRAINS, please. --MK
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 9:33pm.
And better tittays, too, no doubt.
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And better looking mugs. Thick necked bitch is older than 30.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 9:34pm.
OMG Sock Monkey1 I totally thought of you the other day! They sell original Sock Monkey's in Wal Mart now! lol
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If they were made with poly fabric...we ain't related! Ha! Ha!
But thanks for thinking of me. *big sock monkey smile*
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
OMG Sock Monkey1 I totally thought of you the other day! They sell original Sock Monkey's in Wal Mart now! lol
Rich and famous people suck.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 8:27pm.
I've seen afghan hounds with better hairstyles than this bitch.
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And better tittays, too, no doubt.
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SQUID BRAINS, please. --MK
Submitted by Jan_In_The_Pan on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 8:09pm.
@ Jan_Pan--
Bawahahahaha!! That'll teach me to wear Depends when I'm on DListed. Jan, you is funny.
He was a hot mess flirting with me (I thought) till he got up to go for popcorn, eased past us, and squeezed her knee as he rubbed on by.
Disturbing all the way around, esp. the part about me being jellis.
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SQUID BRAINS, please. --MK
I thought that was Dina Lohan.
Who I'm not surprised hasn't posed for Playboy.
Playboy sure does have lowered standards for who's being offered to pose, doesn't it?
Frosted hair? Check.
Fake tan? Check.
Big tits? Check.
Not fat? Check.
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It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.
I hope my boobs never look like hers....at any point in my life.
I miss Chains of Love! WAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
thirteenangels@live.com
size 2 at birth maybe!
"COVER of Playboy"? dream on.
"My singing career was not an accurate portrayal of me singing" so who was singing, Big Poppa?
I've seen afghan hounds with better hairstyles than this bitch.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Hey, im a size 0 @ 4 feet 11 inches and i look very much like a women.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA 2009-2016'
Size 2? Well, it might be that Dolce & Gabbana, etc. mark their sizes in a way that's comforting to the ego, so that a Chanel (for instance) size 2 is the same as a Macy's size 14, they just call it 2. Kim is not tiny nor is she slender, she's kind of a giant. Look at her standing next to Sheree in Sheree's living room during the scene in which she's come by to look at the poorly-made fashions. Kim is fat.
"I went to the movies last week with a GF who is a size 20. A gorgeous man squeezed her knee as he passed by our row."
I'm trying to picture this...not that a size twenty can't get some action. I'm just trying to imagine how this looked anything but creepy...either he was really short and copped a feel as he midget-walked past or he was normal height with gorilla arms and he gave her a quick Bobo fondle as he passed. Otherwise it's someone normal actually stooping down for a quick grope on the way to his seat and I find that more disturbing than my midget/gorilla-arm scenarios.
This "Chick/Ho" is the ultimate opportunist!!! I am not surprised she is doing Playboy. Now she doen't have Big Pap her ass needs to pay the rent and Playboy is the answer!!!
What a Tramp!!!!
The deal is that Kim is unappealing no matter what her size.
I went to the movies last week with a GF who is a size 20. A gorgeous man squeezed her knee as he passed by our row.
An appealing woman is appealing regardless of size IMHO.
An unappealing woman can be a size 2 for all the good that will do her.
Jussayin.
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you say you want to find black man for love and the sexy. but you like interracial man? It's for sexy times at gristlemonstersontour.com.--Tigerlily
I like people who realize that a size 2 can look like another person at size 6. It all has to do with people's bone structure, etc and height. i hate when people try to put everyone in a certain size. A good size for each person is different.
She couldnt get a size 2 over that ratty wig!!!
****"Just remember kids, someone else's meds are always better than your own..."****
Tigerlilly 11/14/08
Submitted by Diego on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 6:25pm.
Yeah, I have worked in retail long enough to know what a size 2 looks like. She couldn't get a size 2 over her fucking foot.
hahahahaha
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Years and years ago, when I was a boy, when there were wolves in Wales, and birds the color of red-flannel petticoats whisked past the harp-shaped hills...
I'm a size 6 - there is NO WAY that she is smaller then me and I don't buy that she's 30 either.
Yeah, I have worked in retail long enough to know what a size 2 looks like. She couldn't get a size 2 over her fucking foot.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
Feel better PSL~
*passes PSL some good drugs for her cramps and a hot toddy*
****"Just remember kids, someone else's meds are always better than your own..."****
Tigerlilly 11/14/08
Is size 2 the go-to fake size for chubby women who convince themselves they are still skinny? Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Love Hewitt, this whore? No one cares what size you are, so why even mention it? You look even more ridiculous when no one cared enough to ask what size you were and when you volunteer a lie. Silly.
PSL - no problem x
she looks like ashley jizzdale's mom...
keane, my mistake. I am crampy and high. I misunderstood what you had meant.
Many people do make the comment about real women and such.....I was meaning that in a general sense, just you.....:)
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I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
- Eminem "Criminal"
Submitted by gina latina on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 5:37pm.
The sad thing is that she'll do her Playboy and who knows what else and make more money in a year than most of us working whores make in our lifetimes.
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AMEN TO THAT! Dammit.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
PSL - I actually said pre-pubescent girl, not boy, I wasn't saying women of that size don't look feminine, they just look very small. And I certainly wasn't making any type of comment about whether or not women of that size are "real women", I was just saying that the number of people who are actually that size is very small. To say please I'm like a size 2 is utter nonsense, hardly anyone is. In the UK a size 2 is called a size 6 and the lowest size sold in most shops is a size 8 (your 4). Size 0's do not exist in our shops so there really aren't too many of people who fit that size out there. For celebs/this twat to casually say they are a size 0 or 2 like this is really normal is ludicrous stupid and annoying.
Kim's lying reminds me of Kirstie Allie. As long as people can SEE, you're not going to get away with it.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I seriously have more respect for the Butt Bandit than for Kim.
Bet he makes a better first impression.
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
hey Balenciaga!
yeah, everyone is different. I am NOT saying a size 8 is fat. I am saying I would look huge as a size 8. It am small boned and lean. Others look ridiculous at my weight and clothes size. They look like skeletons.
this woman is a size 8-10 I would say.....by pics. ugh, why am I even guessing? who the fuck is she?
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I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
- Eminem "Criminal"
I have resisted watching this show just because of what I read here on dlisted! I dont think I could handle it! I get so fuckin pissed at people...you should see me when I watch Charm School or I love money or whatever bullshit reality series VH1 has on. I wanna slap Lacey, Megan, all the scandalous hos! And regardless of watching this show or not, that hair is fake as fuck and there is no way she is a size 2. Geez its like she thinks everyone is stupider then her and we are going to believe her bs. Hilarious.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
Im tall and just built like a boy. Straight and lean. Im a 6 and Im 5'9. I think it depends on your body type and metabolism for sure, but that hor is at least a 12-14. I dont see how she stuffs her fat ass into her True Religions. They dont go higher than a 32.
Her tits look like saggy udders...
Hey PSL!
****"Just remember kids, someone else's meds are always better than your own..."****
Tigerlilly 11/14/08
keane, yes- a 2 is very small, but I fluctuate between a 2 and a size 4 (US sizes), and I do NOT look like a pre-pubescent boy.
sorry, I am just sick and tired of people commenting how sizes 8 and up are for "real women", and what women "should" look like. Everyone's body type is different, and if I were a size 8, I would be fat.
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I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird
and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
- Eminem "Criminal"
If this skank is a 30 year old size 2, then I'm a 20 year old size 00.
The sad thing is that she'll do her Playboy and who knows what else and make more money in a year than most of us working whores make in our lifetimes.
Oh and the sex tape will "leak" in 3, 2, 1...
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"Fox News - We swing to the right more than Ann Coulter's strap-on"
~Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
Submitted by Keane on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 5:26pm.
Dementia?
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I'll go with Delusion. Although at kim's advanced age it could very well be dementia.
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
Default for fame hoas. When you have no discernible talent, drop yer drawers..
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...