David Spade Strikes Again!
Methinks David Spade waits outside of therapist's offices for heartbroken middle-aged celebwhores who have just finished crying botox tears over their latest break-up. He catches them when they are all emotionally raw and shit. I mean, he's done sexy times with Heather Locklear, Pamela Anderson, Teri Snatcher, Lara Flynn Boyle and now Nicollette Sheridan!
At her 45th birthday party, David and Nicollette were spotted tonguing each other's mouths. A witness told People, "They cuddled and kissed. They were full-on making out in a booth."
This is my thinking: when Nicollette is at Rite-Aid buying Replens and "I Found Someone" comes on, David is there to massage her knees and help squeeze the tears out of her botoxed face. Then he tells her a fart joke, she laughs, forgets all about Michael Bolton and sucks on David's cat dick in the bathroom. That's how he gets their asses!
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Cat Dick??? EEEWW! That made the story so much more vivid! Not to my liking, but descriptive non the less. Now every time I have to think of or see David Spade I'll think of Cat Dick. Thanks. I have court in the morning too, and I'll be daydreaming of his little kitty snausage. Yuck!
I'll look at the Judge and his face will turn into one and strike my lawyer down and chase me out of the courtroom. lmao!
what is wrong with her chest? and her face? what happened????
I really don't think Spade is such a shock, he is funny, etc and probably charming... but he could surely do better than this?
He's funny and seems easy to get along with so why not? Plus isn't he around the same age as the women people keep calling these "old cougars"??
It's not like he's 25 and they are 40..
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
"sucks on David's cat dick"
Oh shit MK I think I just peed myself, you funny fucker.
Joe Dirty and Nicollegen, together at last.
http://starcasm.net/archives/1749
http://starcasm.net When the truth doesn't hurt enough.
Poor Nicolette is looking a tad "crunchy". She looks a lot older than 45 that is for sure!!!!!!
He is just a little cougar-fucking maggot!!!!!
~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~
~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~
I think it's obivous. He's hooking up with women who wouldn't have touched him when they were in their prime.
I don't agree with the height that is being posted about him on that page, I have met him and spoke with him face to face. No way is he that tall.
I just Googled it and found this:
http://www.celebheights.com/s/David-Spade-888.html
Henry says on 18/Apr/06
I met him at the Benchwarmers premiere. I am 5'8" in shoes, my daughter is 5'5" (flats) and he was just a tad shorter than her. I say 5'3"-5'4" max.
There are alot more on that one that have met him that say he's short too.
I never knew there was a celebrity height site out there, weird!
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 12:04am.
He should seek advice from a Catholic Priest if he's having problems with child-rearing.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
IMDb says he's 5'5½" (166 cm).
Now that he's a new father, he probably just needs some me-time after all that child-rearing.
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I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.
She just prefers her midget porn to be interactive.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
FYI: David Spade is 5 foot 7 inches. Not too short, just an inch or two shorter than average. (one of the links said 67 inches, do the math :)
**Anne Marie Lucas needs to DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH**
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 4:28pm.
Maybe David Spade is a weaselly genius. Maybe he KNOWS that he's getting rebound sex from some decent looking stars.
Stay with me here.
He gives them a fun, safe atmosphere to console their broken hearts and cracked egos.
He gets his picrure taken with them.
He KNOWS these relationships can't be permanent, because eventually, (choose broken-hearted fading beauty), these chicks get their self-esteem back, and go back to hunting gorgeous dimwits.
He acts kinda sad when they break up with him. They vow to remain great friends, (emergency friend-fucking), and he's on to the next one.
Pure genius.
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Same as Criss Angel.
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Maybe Sheridan is just tired of Bolton crooning dumb shit at her, like "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You"?
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I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.
Spade may be hung like an elephant trunk but the celebrity list seems to suggest has-beens-a-go-go.
Is it easier sometimes for women to have sex with someone that they really don't take seriously?
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I'm just here for the beer.
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 4:28pm.
Maybe David Spade is a weaselly genius. Maybe he KNOWS that he's getting rebound sex from some decent looking stars.
Stay with me here.
He gives them a fun, safe atmosphere to console their broken hearts and cracked egos.
He gets his picrure taken with them.
He KNOWS these relationships can't be permanent, because eventually, (choose broken-hearted fading beauty), these chicks get their self-esteem back, and go back to hunting gorgeous dimwits.
He acts kinda sad when they break up with him. They vow to remain great friends, (emergency friend-fucking), and he's on to the next one.
Pure genius.
Spot on. I think that's exactly it.
I think Spade is hot,I would do him in a hot second.He is also funny and that is bonus points.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
Ok, I have a friend who has this friend who slept with DS. This was a few years ago, but anyway she says he is not only hung nicely, but also is good with his tongue. I did not believe her, but maybe she was telling the truth.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 7:30pm.
That's very interesting. years ago I took a class from a midget (not a dwarf, just a really small man). I think he was like 4'11".
He was very nice, charming, witty, and educated. The typical sized women on campus just swooned for him.
He didn't do it for me, but he did for a lot of good looking, taller women. They would compete with each other like crazy to go out with him.
He wasn't a playa either, from what people said. Just a decent guy.
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
Don't get me wrong...I think Spade is funny...but he comes up to my knees! And Sheridan is as used up as Jenna Jameson's couch.
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The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. -- Wm. Blake
@ VPorterhouse--
I care. Tell me what you come up with.
Maybe David Spade uses one of these in his bedroom.
http://charlotte.craigslist.org/fuo/931123415.html
Lots of women like leopard print velour.
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Submitted by Vporterhouse on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 7:08pm.
Not that you care, but this mystery needs to be solved.
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
Submitted by Leona on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 5:29pm.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 4:33pm.
How tall was he compared to you?
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He was a few inches shorter than me and I was wearing heels and I am 5'3" almost 5'4". It was about ten years ago at a movie premier party. He was really nice. I'm glad he wasn't doped up to the point that he couldn't speak like the other person said!
I am borderline speechless on this one, but I do have some observations I'd like to share with you...Nicollette is not known for he taste in men. Michael Bolton certainly is no looker...Nicollette starred in the MAJOR motion picture Beverly Hills Ninga with David's deceased best friend Chris Farley...David looks like he's retaining water in the gut and the hands...Drinking Brandy Alexanders and/or White Russians could cause the bloat...and finally he may be "hung like a horse" but the horse has to get these bitches in the stable first. I'm gonna give this some more thought and check back with you later. Not that you care, but this mystery needs to be solved.
Heh! That's great, GG!
I'm trying to remember anything David did that was funny though and I can only think of the stuff he did with Chris Farley.
Now that dude was really funny. Such a tragic loss :(
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My other gig
My other hangout
here's an interesting analysis of the mystery of david spade.
http://www.howlegit.com/link/link_details/david-spade-this-generation--8...
Maybe he's hung like a horse?
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Agnes? It's me, Billy.......
How he pulls chicks I dunno. Gross. But MK's theory is not only fuckin hilarious, but probably pretty dead on!!
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
This weasel does not appeal to me.
Submitted by Sibsi on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 2:28pm.
I think he just has the drugs. That's my only explanation as to why he attracts these out of his league women.
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He probably drizzles a little on his member, that's how does it. Why else would all these chicks be hoping onboard the David love train?
In all fairness, these chicks are wayyyyy past their prime.
Submitted by letinstar on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 5:08pm.
how does spade get chicks? he has to be packing a big one...
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2 words: Human Tripod. What else could it be?
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"Fox News - We swing to the right more than Ann Coulter's strap-on"
~Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
I watched the new adam Sandler movie last night, and he was wearing a pair of tighy swim trunks. Either they packed his trunks or he has ONE HUGE dick and set of balls. Swear. I was like DAMN!
But his poor daughter is homely as hell. Sorry.
****"Just remember kids, someone else's meds are always better than your own..."****
Tigerlilly 11/14/08
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 4:33pm.
How tall was he compared to you?
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
Oh my God, she's only two years older than me, and this picture of me was taken six months ago.
-Einah
An old friend went to St. Francis college and they hired David Spade and Adam Sandler to perform at the start of their SNL fame. She was a soroity sister and the frat guys had them at a party after their show. She said that at the party David and Adam were fucked up from weed they could barely speak.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
and nicolette should seriously consider keeping her girls covered...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
how does spade get chicks? he has to be packing a big one...
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he doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything, and he doesn't give a shit...
Farrah, where in South America?!
Hekki, I can totally see that. Women will usually be attracted to smart and funny guys, whilst men are all about physical attraction.
Just shows how much smarter we are, when we know looks fade, but wit and sense of humor only keep getting better with age!
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My other gig
My other hangout
He gets all the hot chicks 10-20 years after they peaked. Even the fish that hangs out the bottom of the pond gets fed.
Submitted by Farrah on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 2:54pm.
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 2:50pm.
bwahahaha, that would be YOUR problem!
i'm in South America!
yeah, well that's why south americans are all beautiful and multicolored and got great bodies and shit.
i mean, pfffft, who wants that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
I simply don't have the words to express how depressing it is to see him with a pepaw face--as he is about my age.
While I have been clean and sober for 10 years, my own past addiction to needy, vulnerable women can only admire his sensual achievements along these same lines... ;)
I had a big nicole sheridan thing back in the day when she played strip croquet with william devane on dynasty? Knots landing? I bet if she left her face alone, she would still tickle my fancy, but that scary plastic surgery face of hers now makes me reach for the viagra.
Fuck!
Alright people, I met him years ago at a party. I cannot explain it but he has some serious charm that makes your panties dance right off your ass! Five more talking with him and I would've been all over him.
SIGH
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Dick happens! - MK
David Spade looks like a tranny. Cut the damn hair.
You'll love my blog:
http://MuchBetterThanWorking.blogspot.com
Maybe David Spade is a weaselly genius. Maybe he KNOWS that he's getting rebound sex from some decent looking stars.
Stay with me here.
He gives them a fun, safe atmosphere to console their broken hearts and cracked egos.
He gets his picrure taken with them.
He KNOWS these relationships can't be permanent, because eventually, (choose broken-hearted fading beauty), these chicks get their self-esteem back, and go back to hunting gorgeous dimwits.
He acts kinda sad when they break up with him. They vow to remain great friends, (emergency friend-fucking), and he's on to the next one.
Pure genius.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Hekki's probably right. He makes up for his shortcomings (literally) and cleans up with the older ladies.
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“Tomorrow's just a future yesterday."
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com/
Submitted by gretchenwhit on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 4:06pm.
I still think Nicole could do better than getting Spade.
Think of all the hot young actor wannabes out in la-la land. All she has to do is look around a little.
Or go to Millionaire Dating.com for some hot sex hooker action.
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 11/23/2008 - 2:18pm.
I was thinking he must be packing something big, too.
This man loves sloppy 49th's of former hot bitches. Still think he's a closet gay.
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http://scarletwordsandthoughts.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers
While he's fucking the old cougars, he's probably stretching their facial skin back in order to make them look a bit younger?
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Does david have lipstick on his straw?
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you is chipmunkin times all up in my face and i hate that, you trampy nut gathering woodland creature. (LoLo)