Monday, November 24th 2008

When Two Douchebags Become One

Do you Twit take Twatty's fleshy beard to be yours for at least another 15 minutes? GROSS! I'm actually kind of shocked that Heidi and Spencer managed to get married without at least 30 staged photo shoots leading up to the nauseating day. I mean, where were all the "Twit and Twat go to the caterers" or "Twit and Twat go to pre-wedding counseling with their priest" shoots? Or better yet the "Twit and Twat get their genitals cut off so they can never procreate" photo shoot, because she's looking a little on the preg-preg-pregnant side. I can't even type that shit! If she is carrying the spawn of Spencer, then it really is time for the world to end. That's it, we had good run, but this madness cannot go on! Jesus, please push the button!

Anyway, everyone's least favorite famewhore douchebags eloped on November 20th in Mexico and UsWeekly just happened to be there to document the whole thing....and give them a big bag of cash as a wedding present. If you're feeling a little bloated this week, then just flip through this magazine and you'll shit and barf up everything in your system at once. Bloat gone!

Visit ONTD to see the rest of the pictures and equally gross quotes. I'm feeling like I should go and lay my head on the toilet for a few fucking lifetimes.

Posted by: Michael K


sassypants's picture

These two are the most horrible cunts I have ever had this displeasure of reading about and seeing, and I do not understand why US would give them a COVER of a MAGAZINE. Not only do these pieces of trash have NO endearing qualities, but Spencer Pratt is an abusive, manipulative psychopath. There is more than one way to be abusive, and he has brainwashed Heidi (as much as I hate her too) and absolutely ruined her life. If you can't call your own mother or sister before your wedding is announced TO THE ENTIRE COUNTRY, then you are not in a healthy relationship. Gift shop wedding rings?? A makeshift wedding in Cabo?? I won't be surprised if Spencer kidnaps her. He reminds me of Mark Wahlberg's character in the movie Fear. He'll probably mail the first condom he used on Heidi to her mom with a letter that says "I win." I just hope she doesn't have kids with him, because God knows that spawn of Satan should not reproduce for all of our sakes. I really, truly feel sorry for Heidi's family. This must be like a funeral for them. I also feel sorry for gay people who have to see this shit and wonder why they can't get married.

"It's not how long it takes, it's who's taking you." --marilyn

Oceannia420's picture

Who the fuck are these two,, anyways?? I see them every where!! FAKE, FAKE and fucking FAKE!!
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Karma baby!!! Go get you some!!!

jussayin's picture

I think there needs to be a Prop 9 that keeps stupid people from marrying...

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I smacked a bitch and I liked it.

JaneDoe's picture

Shit, expect them to get preggo then have their pics posted everywhere! that's a curse..
I was happy that MK didn't post anything about twit and twat for a while... we are so going to see them again right? ugh like we don't hate them enough

ElleKAy's picture

Don't worry, if she is prego it isn't spencers. unless they got it artificial. then there would have been pictures of that and a fake story of why they needed help conceiving.

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Why do you think you take a HO to a HOtel!

KT's picture

thanks angel, lol! and by the way.. heidi is probably knocked up. eww.

in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3

Looks like flesh colored beard and stupid dumb cunt are a match made in idiot land. I hate these two, they're not even celebrities just some lame sluts who did some show.
Didn't some other Hills whore bang him like a year ago???
See ya Bitches!

angel_i's picture

Submitted by KT on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 8:42pm.

oh shit i meant *fail but i typed faily on accident, sorry haha
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Aw! I thought it was cute!

♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
thirteenangels@live.com

WhichCelebrity's picture

I'm wondering who's more plastic, Heidi or Victoria Beckham?? http://which-celebrity.blogspot.com/

That's amazing....
My friend recommended me a very interesting and HOT place ☆☆☆INTERRACIALLOVING.COM☆☆☆ where many fans are together, also I’ve meet kinds of black and white singles who are hunger for true love online.

KT's picture

oh shit i meant *fail but i typed faily on accident, sorry haha

in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3

KT's picture

faily - LOL i was thinking the same thing! it isn't even legal over here, right?

we all need to gather in prayer like.. right now. and PRAY TO GODDDDDDDDDD that these 2 idiots don't breed.

in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3

_fail_'s picture

Ummm - not that I give a shit, but would a Mexican "wedding" have any legal status in the States? Doubt it.

paris herpes's picture

Heidi is just plain dumb...Spencer is the ultimate TWAT...they'll get a divorce in like a year or so cause they're both too young to get married like this. I just finished puking, that's why I decided to comment...I just couldn't deal with the reality that these two might elope and conceive. The world is a horrible and ugly place!

Your face!

TheStraightMan's picture

We are one step closer to them breeding.

I'm off to find an friendly, English speaking country to flee to.

Cheers.

Sayonara's picture

Enough with these two already!

All I want for Christmas is you oooh oooh baby... MC

parissucksliterally's picture

wait...this is TRUE?

I didn't think they'd be able to say vows without a camera crew!

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I don't know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, you can tell that I'm not lyin'
-Split Enz "I Got You"

woww isn't she like 21 or 22?
I'm 21 and i'm not against marriage at all- but i can't see myself anywhere NEAR being ready to get married...not for another 10 years or so...wow.

i mean i think some people are ready at an early age, so don't get me wrong, i'm not saying anything against people who get married at this age. butttt they don't strike me as particularly mature or grown for their age, like the people who really are ready for marriage.

but let's be honest...hearing people my age getting married just scares me! maybe im just an immature ass. oh well.

"lacrosse: the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes."

KT's picture

omg how gross and pathetic.. when i heard of this shit this morning i knew they'd be on the cover of US.. how seriously stupid. im so sick of these 2 no talent hacks!

in the united states alone, between 3 and 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! support animal shelters<3

NitWitty's picture

And why didn't they just call this The Douche Issue?

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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.

LOVE CARROTTOP's picture

Gross. They better not mate.

kaykayscorner's picture

Dick and cake! Dick and cake! This is the greatest thread ever.
Um, sorry. Pre-dinner cocktail ... (s)
Cock and cake! Cock and cake!

WrathOGrapes's picture

Ugh, dumbfuck Spencer looks more like a pedophile every time I'm unfortunate enough to see him

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Potato Wave!

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 6:00pm.
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Now Clarisse, please see my last post below......

Sluttsville's picture

Farrah, I originally typed "I am going to have cake & eat dick too", but it made me sound like that old English proverb, and I didn't want people confusing me with someone smart.

Clarisse's picture

Sluttsville!!
We can have our cake and eat cocks too!!!

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Clay pigeons are fuckers!

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:53pm.
Mrs. K, tonight I am going to act like a single & married Sluttsville.....I am going to eat cake & have dick too!
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Mmmm, I eat that stuff like chocolate cake off a dick!
How about you?

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As for single people, “I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,” he said.

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

OMG GUYS!!!
The Puppehs made the New York Times!!!!

Puppies Power a Web Video Start-Up
By Jenna Wortham

http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/puppy-power-propels-web-start-u...

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As for single people, “I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,” he said.

Farrah's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:53pm.
Mrs. K, tonight I am going to act like a single & married Sluttsville.....I am going to eat cake & have dick too!
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TAPE IT! then sell it to Joe Francis (whatshisface). Dlisters Gone Wild!

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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?

Sluttsville's picture

Mrs. K, tonight I am going to act like a single & married Sluttsville.....I am going to eat cake & have dick too!

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:48pm.

Or a blob block.
##

hee hee hee
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As for single people, “I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,” he said.

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:47pm.
I totally agree with the Pastor, and I have to laugh at his advice to the single people:

MY NEW SIGGIE!!!!
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As for single people, “I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,” he said.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:45pm.
..didn't Eddie Murphy have a "Spiritual Wedding" with wife #?? recently???

Yeah, in Fiji or whatever? I think the same rules apply regardless of foreign country.

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I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.

LOVE ANDERSON's picture

Jan_In_The_Pan on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:42pm

Yes, if you want to be all "technical".
Or a blob block.

"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!

Farrah's picture

Submitted by Stock Broker on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:45pm.
Sheeps...didn't Eddie Murphy have a "Spiritual Wedding" with wife #?? recently???

I'm going to go hang myself for knowing this.
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i believe they "spiritually" called it off..

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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:43pm.
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I totally agree with the Pastor, and I have to laugh at his advice to the single people: As for single people, “I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake,” he said.

Submitted by Sluttsville on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:44pm.

I think my actual quote was "A weekend with Heidi and a bottle of tequila."

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I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.

Clarisse's picture

Oh! One of the puppies is moving his mouth while he is sleepin and it looks like he is talkin!!

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Clay pigeons are fuckers!

Stock Broker's picture

Sheeps...didn't Eddie Murphy have a "Spiritual Wedding" with wife #?? recently???

I'm going to go hang myself for knowing this.

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 5:36pm.
If you just have a religious or spiritual ceremony in Mexico (or another country), it won't be recognized in the US. If you have a valid civil ceremony and get an official certificate of marriage, it should be valid in the US. I refuse to read any more about what Spencer and Heidi did.
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There, there, no one is going to force you to read any more, just calm down. I know that you were thinking that Heidi was the "one" and your soulmate, but Ceiling Eyes is still available.

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Pastor’s Advice for Better Marriage: More Sex

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/24/us/24sex.html

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YAAAAAAAY! How you been my dear? I blew the most impressive booger today. I thought of you.

Jan_In_The_Pan's picture

"And they totally cock blocked Aslee's new baby..."

I think that's technically a tot block.

In their off hours they can be found hanging out with BFF Phoebe Price. They trade tips on poses, props, and paps cell phone numbers.

Jan_In_The_Pan's picture

"Well duh, what kind of reaction did you expect after marrying America's biggest douchebag?!"

Maybe she was crying because she'd never felt so springtime fresh before....

kdracofan's picture

they got married for real- for really real? so that means they can have children?

*jumps off a bridge*

You're welcome for the tip, sweetie:)

Submitted by LoLo on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:22pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:16pm.
Maybe it's cuz a Mexican wedding isn't valid in the US? They can just say "never mind" at some point?
Umm is that true?

If you just have a religious or spiritual ceremony in Mexico (or another country), it won't be recognized in the US. If you have a valid civil ceremony and get an official certificate of marriage, it should be valid in the US. I refuse to read any more about what Spencer and Heidi did.

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I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.

Dallas's picture

This is the biggest bunch of crap. These two are such media whores! Heidi does not have one thought that is her own. What Pratt say's, she does. Sad situation!

LOVE ANDERSON's picture

And they totally cock blocked Aslee's new baby...

"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!

angry mom's picture

God help us if they really are breeding their Aryan army. I’m scared. These two have to be involved with the devil somehow. Gross moldy turds.