When Two Douchebags Become One
Do you Twit take Twatty's fleshy beard to be yours for at least another 15 minutes? GROSS! I'm actually kind of shocked that Heidi and Spencer managed to get married without at least 30 staged photo shoots leading up to the nauseating day. I mean, where were all the "Twit and Twat go to the caterers" or "Twit and Twat go to pre-wedding counseling with their priest" shoots? Or better yet the "Twit and Twat get their genitals cut off so they can never procreate" photo shoot, because she's looking a little on the preg-preg-pregnant side. I can't even type that shit! If she is carrying the spawn of Spencer, then it really is time for the world to end. That's it, we had good run, but this madness cannot go on! Jesus, please push the button!
Anyway, everyone's least favorite famewhore douchebags eloped on November 20th in Mexico and UsWeekly just happened to be there to document the whole thing....and give them a big bag of cash as a wedding present. If you're feeling a little bloated this week, then just flip through this magazine and you'll shit and barf up everything in your system at once. Bloat gone!
Visit ONTD to see the rest of the pictures and equally gross quotes. I'm feeling like I should go and lay my head on the toilet for a few fucking lifetimes.
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I saw that Heidi on Letterman once and I could NOT believe how obnoxious she was. At first I thought she must just be hamming it up, acting the fool, spoofing herself, etc. But she was for real. My jaw was on the floor lol. Truly I didn't think actual vacant, vacuous, shallow, dumb, valley girl types like her still existed. I've never seen her show and I only really knew about her from this site. But after witnessing her stupidity on Letterman I hate her guts!
Aw this isn't right. Asshole and Vagina were robbed! This cover should have been all theirs this week - this is bullshit man!
This is a new low, even for US. These 2 incredible douchebags get a spread?
And that was one carefully choreographed elopement. How better to show the world that you're deeply into each other, than by inviting a camera crew along?
Oh why couldn't they have just fallen off a cliff or something?
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
These 2 are reason enough to have forced sterilization.
The human race must be saved asshats like them reproducing.
Submitted by Bondagebarbie on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:56pm.
I just hope they don't breed.
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Dintcha hear? She's pregnant!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
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Spencer looks like Ellen DeGeneres with a beard.
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
I just hope they don't breed.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
@ ILovePapaSmurf--
Tell mom you don't need to be married if you have a sturdy chair. (See Programming Note post)
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:27pm.
Great, when this magazine arrives in my Mom's mailbox, I know I'm going to get a call. "You're 25-years-old, ILPS and you're not married. Why can't you be like Heidi and find your own Spencer." Where's a good gun when you need it?
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Yes, you read the word "Playboy" correctly. Not Playpig, Playdoggy or Playraggedywiglover.(MK)
when he mom asked, why is my dogs ass bleeding spencer replied
but mom this is how uncle gary busey fucked my blonde haired freckled ass.
"YA I'M A BITCH! JUST NOT YOURS!"
- Me
pussy faced bitch heidi and fug ass pitbull mug spencer
fuckin rapist i heard he raped a small puppy
"YA I'M A BITCH! JUST NOT YOURS!"
- Me
id still stick my dirty lil finger in her ass and sing mary had a lil lamb
fuckin whore i wann pull out her nasty blonde hair and fart in her fuckin eyes
"YA I'M A BITCH! JUST NOT YOURS!"
- Me
Ho-dei says she doesnt want kids till she is 30...cause she has to save her body and shit. WHATEVER you dumb twat....GOOD FUCKING LUCK on that
*cough* marriage thing you got going with douche-boy!! PAH!
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
US weekly can go fuck themselves how are you gonna put a fucking annoying nobody like this on the cover. and i pitty the idiot that runs out to buy this issue
Oh so sad that these two are off the market now.... *sniffle*
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Oh Lord, I think Spencers doctor needs to be bribed into performing a vasectomy before it's too late.
I got $50 down.
"Submitted by Farrah on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:31pm.
25 and not married???!! *passes out* is your mom Jewish or something??
er.. then maybe you could get your cat to go fetch something and then she'll get distracted. (i love that kitteh!)"
No, worse - I'm Mexican.
I'm always getting a hard time because of it. I swear my hardcore catholic family members think I'm a lesbian for not being married at this time. Hell, my cousin is 17, married and has a kid... and they're OK with THAT!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
WTF is that cracker jack shit she is wearing on her finger????
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Her ring is hideous!
Poor Pete and Ashlee! Those two dumb twats thought they were going to get all the press with naming their child fucking Mowgli! NAH UH! Speidi came and stole their thunder! Getting themselves a Christmas bonus with this stunt!
And let me guess some camera crew from MTV will happen to be there too right? Look out for their own reality show BARF! And isn't she only 22? And marrying this guy? Is she really serious?
That's just gross and who gives a fuck about these two twats?
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Those two jackasses are so working on getting her preggers. So they can sell the 1st baby pictures to any one who will print them.
Ho buster #1!
who gives a shit about these two? I don't.
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I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
they will buy even another 15 when he knocks her up...if he is even capable of that.,,if they are smart (hahaha) then they will space it out.
Oops sorry was I supossed to be paying attention?
Will there be a quiz?
*randomly posts because I actually have a minute where some dumb shit is not randomly standing in front of me telling me about their random dumb shit*
Where's my shank?
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
I don't think Ken and Barbie have sex so how will they make their own celebwhore baby?
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Ugh, makes me want to...be really sick...yuck!
Your face!
Submitted by Salem13 on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:24pm.
Annnddd they don't won't to let gays marry?
Edit* Becuase by "won't" I meant want.
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Right, cuz gay marriage would totally destroy the sanctity and integrity of these two whores' marriage.
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YAAAAAAAY! How you been my dear? I blew the most impressive booger today. I thought of you.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:27pm.
Great, when this magazine arrives in my Mom's mailbox, I know I'm going to get a call. "You're 25-years-old, ILPS and you're not married. Why can't you be like Heidi and find your own Spencer." Where's a good gun when you need it?
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25 and not married???!! *passes out* is your mom Jewish or something??
er.. then maybe you could get your cat to go fetch something and then she'll get distracted. (i love that kitteh!)
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by wolfyMan on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:27pm.
Yeah let me guess.. " If you love vomit youll love my blog. It makes people vomit"
http://stupidshit.blogspot.com
YEAH YEAH YEAH
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
and wtf kind of ring is that? what ever happened to the "very expensive one bought at Claire's"??
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
How is it a "secret" wedding when you have a fucking magazine there documenting the whole thing? God those two are so gross!
Great, when this magazine arrives in my Mom's mailbox, I know I'm going to get a call. "You're 25-years-old, ILPS and you're not married. Why can't you be like Heidi and find your own Spencer." Where's a good gun when you need it?
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Let's see this dumb bitch stage some pics while she's in labor!
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The next time you have a thought...LET IT GO.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:24pm.
Submitted by jim on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:21pm.
send me some pot
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then send me some of your "special latkes"
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Dear L'ord. She's preggers. The end of days is near, beeshes. Now let's go get that "holiday special sammich"
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by jim on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:21pm.
send me some pot
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YAAAAAAAY! How you been my dear? I blew the most impressive booger today. I thought of you.
Annnddd they don't won't to let gays marry?
Edit* Becuase by "won't" I meant want.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58I66hsACxg
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!
So...Blonde Pubes married Fake Tittays. Big deal.
UGH - these two Republican attention-whoring douchebags make me want to hurl my computer out the window.
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President Obama - Get used to it! :)
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 4:16pm.
Maybe it's cuz a Mexican wedding isn't valid in the US? They can just say "never mind" at some point?
Umm is that true? I have been given an ultimakemetrytodosomethingbeforimreadyums and if this is true then......
*Contacts travel agent*
I just dont want to mix up my taxes.
Ok then.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
WHO THE FUCK CARES!! WHY PEOPLE BUY THIS SHIT AND GIVE A FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE, IN THIS CASE 2 COMPLETE TALENTLESS FOOLS, DO IN THEIR LIVES AND WHY YOU SHOULD GIVE A SHIT! THESE LOSERS WOULD HAND YOU THEIR TRASH, PAT YOU ON THE HEAD ADN SPIT IN OUR EYE BECAUSE THEY ARE ON A MAGAZINE! INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR MONEY ON THIS CRAP, TAKE YOUR KIDS TO MOVIES , GAMES, GO GET A BEER , WATCH A FOOTBALL GAME, SMOKE A FUCKING BOWL WITH YOUR CAT..JUST STOP BOASTING THESE LOSERS EGOS!!
Hell yeah, she's pregnant. He got married in jeans and sneakers? Klassy.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
thirteenangels@live.com
"The minute we said our vows I couldn't stop crying."
Well duh, what kind of reaction did you expect after marrying America's biggest douchebag?!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Please Lord have mercy on us and don't let these two procreate.
*prays*
NO WAY would they get married without an MTV special and behind the scenes photage to document it all!!!
The urgency of an elopement makes me think shes pregs!!!
Another Paris Hilton bff in the making....
( * )( * )( 0 )( 0 )( o )( o )( ^ )( ^ )( < )( > )
Sometimes dont ask to tell is NOT an issue.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=459...
I thought they couldn't stand each other??
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YAAAAAAAY! How you been my dear? I blew the most impressive booger today. I thought of you.
I hate the fact that US magazine always has some douche from the Hills on its cover.
Ah...a new one!:
The So What News.
Nice.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Get into the spirit of giving!:
Send me your arm pillows, cholas and crotchfruit!
thirteenangels@live.com
I thought their engagement was off? I guess they had to do something to get back in the media eye.