I Leave You With Nicole
While some baby is kicking the back of my chair during my flight today (that always happens to me), Nicole Kidman and her indestructible forehead will guard the gates of Dlisted. Nobody can get through this bitch. You can fire a cannon at her forehead and that shit will bounce back right at you. Tommy Girl can shoot Travolta jizz nuggets out of his Scientolohole and he will fail. Don't even try to break through her forehead.
Just make sure to feed her some mashed up prunes every 30-minutes or so.
Below is Memaw Nicky, her possum-haired husband, Hugh Jackman, his granny and Lauren Bacall at the NYC premiere of "Australia" last night. One really fucking hot film reviewer had this to say about Nicky's performance in that shit: "She can't act. Instead, she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes. " Yup, that sounds about right.
I'll post more shit when I land! Don't forget to wipe!
Wenn
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BREAKING NEWS: Ann Coulter's mouth is wired shut due to injury!
Link below ~ there is a God!!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/25/ann-coulters-jaw-wired-sh_n_146...
Submitted by LoLo on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 11:06am.
FARRAH! Can we come live eith you in Chile? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HELLZ YEAH!
actually, there's a pool party tonight. My parent's place (they're in Florida). BYOPD (bring yer own PURPLE DRANK)
@Snowpiece: Believe it or not, la P is a very private person, a family guy and such (sorry to ruin it for ya) but one thing is 100% true: Felipe (Machine) is absolutely crazy. He's insane. He and MK are soulmates.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Putas ~ I had a Trapper Keeper to go with my REAL cigar box. Ahh...the smell of a cigars while in school.
And I leave you with Nita Naldi, fashionable addict and co-star of Blood and Sand with Rudolph Valentino, who Nicole resembles in more than one way in her picture:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2200/2238739324_f0f5687a10.jpg?v=0
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
It's cozy that the Shameless BlogWhores (TM) and the spam-bots are amongst us for the pre holiday fun.
And if I was still in middle school I would print this picture and stick it on the outside of my Trapper keeper. Hell, all of my Trapper Keepers.
She is so beautiful and charming. Just saw her on a dating community ***INTERRACIALLOVING.COM*** last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.
Newport Joey ~ don't forget the studded dog collar and Cool Whip.
BTW, I send M.K. emails and he's pretty good about responding back. :)
I love the forehead, it gigantic. Hugh's not as sexy as his body is. He's just a theater queen who hit the gym.
You'll love my blog:
http://MuchBetterThanWorking.blogspot.com
Bitch sweats embalming fluid.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Nicole's neck is looking awfully sinewy & turkey-like. It was really apparent in the clip shown on Conan O'Brien last night.
Jazz Hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Pffft...I have sent MK pictures and shizz for the caption this...said little things...but NEVER gotten a reply...NOR have any of my pics been used. They must suck...lol. Or i do. ???? lol
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Ms. Garrett called, she wants her hairdo back.
☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼
Woah, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico? ~C. Montgomery Burns
FARRAH! Can we come live eith you in Chile? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP! Dude you got ALL the indside info!!!
Snow piece we need to make a point to have some holiday fun time this year.
Let me tell you about Fame Bitch. He dances so purdy...sooo soo purdy. He was in front of my desk when the HBIC came around to ask me something, Fame Bitch got busted in the middle of Jazz Hands. He about cried he was so busted. HBIC said," do you need to wash your hands or something?"
What an odd response.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Farrah: edited cuz: that was too many ha's
AWESOME SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!! that is so cool, I want to talk to La P on the telephono!****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:58am.
Whaaaaat??!!! You guys talk to MK?!!! He only e-mailed me once and I almost freaked out lmao Im such a lamo
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honey, just email him whatever crap you want to say (he seems to appreciate it more when you talk to him like the ho he is) He ALWAYS emails back, he's that sweet.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Lo: that Fame bitch is my new favorite person! LMAO I hope he dances by today and you tell him He's gonna live forever, he's gona learn how to fly!
and that's really a gross kind of donut!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by KD on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:52am.
Uh-oh...I smelled baked beans... What were you saying about MK's nalgas, Farrah?
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thay they're playing outside with your dirty chanclas.
@Snowpiece: *shhh* I gots Machine's and his manager (Ximena) number. LoLo started it, and since i'm in Chile, i'm fucked. I feel like MK's dealer. I need to get him his fix. But i tell ya, they're planning on doing more male characters. And they're invited to MTV!!
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Gee, MK is the only person I know with any $$ to go anywhere......I just bet he's holed up (giggle) in some seedy hotel room, biting a pillow while Anderson makes him his bitch......
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I,
Darling"
Whaaaaat??!!! You guys talk to MK?!!! He only e-mailed me once and I almost freaked out lmao Im such a lamo
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I love him ♥
I'm having a bad reaction to the Ice Queen's Botox face.
Anyone have a valium drip I can use until M.K. returns?
Shit, there ain't nothing better to guard dlisted than this forehead fo sho
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"I want to fuck my way to the garden,
cause everyone needs a mother fucker!" SOAD
Snow: Some ho sent it to me and I sent it to him.
Oh you know who it was too!!!! That freak that dances in front of my god damn desk! The fame bitch!
Um did some one say they had a baked bean filled donut?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I thought MK was colored.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:45am.
Farrah's right (even tho MK's emails to me always start: To my FAVORITE Dlister and the one I'd go straight for) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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hahah, i get worse treatment because remember back in the day when we didn't have the "report abuse" thing and the super Mod? when i emailed him to thank him, he said
"yeah, i did it because some bitches where bitching about some other bitches being bitchy, you bitch."
He still sends little hearts and "love" even if he just tore you a new one.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
It seems we get one extreme or the other, either they haven't seen the light of day in 27 dog years, or they bronze themsevles into the veggie kingdom.
Mornin' Sex Hookers!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by Farrah on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:40am.
i agree, but from NYC to LA wouldn't you have to take the red eye? it's across the "cuntry"
but if he had so many chola friends in High School, then i would think Cali.
Nah, redeyes are the other way. If you leave NYC early, you get to LAX shortly after you leave! I think his maternal side is Mexican-American.
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I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea.
I went to Cali and never tried In 'n out. I missed an authentic life changing experience. *cries* That would be a good excuse to go back...
Love Anderson ~ make by Tangatini a double.
Uh-oh...I smelled baked beans... What were you saying about MK's nalgas, Farrah?
*shoves donut platter to Stock Brokers desk, makes Tangatini's*
The Cranky not to be places of Happy Queefs.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Lo: you started La P? We're not worthy.
Deb: Booo Hisss! enjoy the snow my love!****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Ahhhhh I want some In n Out...its been about 4 years since I last had some =(
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I love him ♥
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:46am.
Sorry, hon. Weather.com says no snow. I grew up in Chester County.
I'm bumming about all the snow in western PA. I hate driving in it.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Poor Nic. She's turned herself into something that should be in Madame Tussauds.
MK, in the unlikely event of a water landing, you can use Nicole's inflated top lip as a floatation device...
"Just wondering but how many of you bitches acctually read the book? because Im thinkin not many of you have the brain spain too read...."
-Mrs.Hardin21 on Twilight
Anyone with pulse knows that Nicole Kidman can't act worth a shit.
She appeals to zombies and their rotting carcasses on the road side.
How in the hell does she keep getting hired???? Geezus flippin'
I'm cranky today. Pardon Moi.
HA HA HA I sent MK that La Pequena shit the first time around and I emailed him saying i was scared and the rest of the email exchange is
MK: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
Me: I DONT KNOW AHHHHHH
MK: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MK: OMG you stupid slut this is freaking me out!
Nasty bitch! Later lover ho!
Me: That kind of turned me on....
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Deb: outside of Philadelphia, please tell me it's gonna snow there too so I have an excuse not to go, LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Farrah's right (even tho MK's emails to me always start: To my FAVORITE Dlister and the one I'd go straight for) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:42am.
Hey snowy. Where you going in PA? We're driving out to Somerset. It's supposed to snow like a mother. Not a big fan of snowy mountain rt 76.
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 -
Should we trash MK when he's not around???
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beesh! have you ever gotten an email from MK?? trashing you, your motha and the entire hood is his thing, i believe he'll like it if we trashed his nalgas!. When you get an email that begins with "you hot slut", you know who it's coming from..
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Lo: Flo~Ridah!
I wish! ♥ I have to go to boring old PA, snorezville! LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:38am
Mornin' Hwore!!!
DONUTS FOR EVERYONE!!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:30am.
Farrah ♥
LoLo I hate you for getting to go to sunny FLA
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Hi beesh!
would you hate me too if i tell ya it's around 70 something degrees outside already and sunny??
@Sheeps: i agree, but from NYC to LA wouldn't you have to take the red eye? it's across the "cuntry"
but if he had so many chola frineds in High School, then i would think Cali.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:35am.
MK is goin' back to Cali, Cali, Cali....
Goin' back to Cali....
I sure hope he get's some of those damn burgers In & Out that we have to hear about all damn day.
Should we trash MK when he's not around???
HAHAHAHAHAH I KEED!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
KD please fly me to the moon on your air vehicle?
Ive got stuff to do there.
Snow come with me to Flo Rita.
My moms food is always marinated in Jack Daniels.
Or wait, maybe IM always marinated in Jack Danielson
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Snow- don't worry about getting slammed. All the Cali-fornians are just waking up now, so they might not be on in a while. On second thought, they could be on any minute and cranky, too.
MK is goin' back to Cali, Cali, Cali....
Goin' back to Cali....
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:24am.
Where in the World in Michael K!?!?!?
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In a seedy motel having a secret tryst with "Mah Boo".
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!