Happy Thanksgiving, Sluts!
Before you get too wasted to make out the words on the screen, I want to wish all of you whores a very Happy Thanksgiving(and receiving) Day. Yes, it's an American holiday, but everyone can celebrate. It's easy! Just get mega drunk, yell at your family members for not understanding you and then pass out in front of the TV. After you black out for a few hours, wake up at 3am, eat cold stuffing which has been sitting out on the kitchen counter and then make yourself another cocktail with Martinelli's from the kid's table and gin (the vodka will probably be all gone). See, anyone can do it!
I also want to take a little time out to give thanks to the most 5 most important things in my life this year:
Chicken Cutlets - Without her, I wouldn't get my daily allowance of poultry and cheese.
The Empress of Lucite - Without her, I wouldn't know what true glamour really is.
Rojo Caliente - Without her, I wouldn't know what natural beauty looks like.
The Puppy Cam - Without them, I wouldn't know how to love.
And all of you whores!!! - Awww. I know. Let's all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye. I will drink a few bottles of Asti Spumante in your honor tonight!
Happy Booze and Barf day everyone!!
(Image VIA Flickr)
"Let's all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye."
YES! This pretty much hits the nail on the head when it comes to hugging those family members you see maybe once a year at some holiday.
Submitted by Leona on Fri, 11/28/2008 - 10:48am.
But WE know you that well, 2C, and we luvs you.
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Awww...*big hugs*...wanna make out?
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I am so thankful for your blog you whore, without you I would be stuck with fugly ass perez hilton.
http://nocheezplease.blogspot.com/
Mmm i love stuffing and I love love love alcohol! I love you too Michael. Happy Thanksgiving you beautiful slutbag.
~faith salon...a face full of fashion.
Aww damn I'm a day late! Happy turkey day to all you funny peeps (American and international), especially you MK really thankful I found your site.
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Is it too early to say Happy Valentines Day?
OH aand I am thankful for my 2 bitcheee kitteees, Missy and Wendy. :)
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http://www.elite.net/~runner/jennifers/thankyou.htm
But WE know you that well, 2C, and we luvs you.
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Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 11/28/2008 - 5:09am.
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it really is time for the world to end. That's it, we had good run, but this madness cannot go on! Jesus, please push the button! (MK)
We went to the my in-laws' house yesterday for dinner, tomorrow I make a dinner just for us (and our 3 dogs and 4 cats, too, LOL). So actually TOMORROW will be the big drinkin' binge. No actually all weekend, starts TODAY! Mimosas alllllll day. LOL
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
P.S. Love the kitten in the basket photo, looks just like my cat Samantha when she was a kitten.
Happy Thanksgiving To All You Dirty dlisters!!
Happy Booze Day Horn Bag (MK) xo
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Rippy Razor Says "It's down the block, not across the street!!"
Merry Turkey Day to MK and all you 'Merkin sluts.
I totally read the first sentence and was shocked: Before you get too wasted to make out...
LOL. You obviously don't don't know me very well.
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I love you MK. You are the chicken cutlets of my soul.
Oh MK! I love you with the intense itching of a thousand of Wino's crabs! Hope you had a wonderful day!
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
LCT:
At most universities, prof on prof dating is ok, prof on grad student dating is frowned on but ignored, and prof on undergrad dating is grounds for dismissal. Check the faculty handbook to find out the policies at your university.
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My brains tell me he's a douche,
but my genitals tell me he's a hot piece.
Happy (late) Thanksgiving!
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 11/28/2008 - 1:31am
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hahahahahaa I wish I was pleasantly inebriated Momus! But I've got insomnia - the world is sleeping where I live.
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I can't play bridge. I don't play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn't seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window~A. Munro
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 11/28/2008 - 1:16am.
You're NOT stupid. You're just pleasantly inebraited on food and drink.
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Im nauseous..happy thanksgiving sluts
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 11/28/2008 - 1:14am.
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Oh stupide me! It's after midnight here - I didn't take the time difference into account.
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I can't play bridge. I don't play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn't seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window~A. Munro
It's still Thanksgiving here in San Francisco.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Be careful at the Black Friday Sales.
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Do not mess with live dragons. You are crunchy and taste good with catsup.
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Is it still officially Thanksgiving?
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I can't play bridge. I don't play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn't seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window~A. Munro
Happy Thanksgiving to all you D-sluts!!
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
http://www.myspace.com/kokeshidoll1969
Just wanted to say Happy Turkey Day MK...I love you & your awesome posts!!!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:48pm.
I'm currently in the process of trying to find out if there are any anti-dating policies between profs.
As Royal Tenenbaum said, "Still frowned upon. But then, what isn't these days, right?"
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:45pm.
come ON i got no fucking turkey. my dinner was brown rice and carrots. gimmie something.
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By choice? You got some Oliver Twist bizness going on.
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I'm canadian. we had our thanksgiving over a month ago. i was going for the sympathy - and it worked!
LCT - I can't remember what the first para said, just my impression. At first blush it looked askew, but the rest of the text blew it away.
I'd still get someone to follow them or you'll never really know for sure. It can't be you obviously.
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Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:48pm.
My longest-term friend moved in with one of her profs as soon as she graduated from college. They eventually got married and are very happy.
But it always creeped me out a little.
Live and let live I guess...esp. if they're both profs.
However, if you take the high road they will owe you one.
Plus, karma's a bitch.
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:39pm.
My serious answer: Somebody in love. Let em be--they're happy.
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Bing bang boom.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:48pm.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:21pm.
Question: What would MK do?
Answer: Forward that mess to everyone in his address book (including Jared Leto), and so should you.
Do the right thing: go public.
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Quick, someone get me Paris Hilton's Blackberry.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:49pm.
LCT - it's innocent. sounds like a group getting together to see a play. Of course to confirm this you'll need a friend to tail her on those two dates.
I was expecting foul fithy sexay talk.
bit of a let down frankly.
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Did you not read the first paragraph?
LCT - it's innocent. sounds like a group getting together to see a play. Of course to confirm this you'll need a friend to tail her on those two dates.
I was expecting foul fithy sexay talk.
bit of a let down frankly.
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Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:41pm.
Looks like a Slut-o-gram to me, and I should know...
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Reeeaaallllyyy........... I'm currently in the process of trying to find out if there are any anti-dating policies between profs.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:21pm.
Question: What would MK do?
Answer: Forward that mess to everyone in his address book (including Jared Leto), and so should you.
Do the right thing: go public.
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:42pm.
come ON i got no fucking turkey. my dinner was brown rice and carrots. gimmie something.
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By choice? You got some Oliver Twist bizness going on.
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:28pm.
Smirnoff is hood rat crap. Try Ultimate in the purty blue bottle if you can afford it and/or if it's even available at the nut house.
xo
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
LCT, to properly assist you we need to see the email.
you can edit the post to delete it after a few mins.
come ON i got no fucking turkey. my dinner was brown rice and carrots. gimmie something.
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Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:39pm.
Looks like a Slut-o-gram to me, and I should know...
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
Submitted by Diego on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:30pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:17pm.
Once upon a time i'd have been under that tunic with you, BUT Michael K has completely brainwashed me into being anti-leto.
I can't help myself, I am MK's evil little minion.
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving mk, you are such a sweetheart.
xoxox
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:28pm.
LCT! The good side of me says, toss it
You need to squelch that good side. LCT could reply, "I was sure it was misdelivered to me, so I forwarded it to the Dean for delivery to the intended addressee." Then there's actual blackmail....
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
TV, you must remedy that situation STAT! Kick the nefarious relations out in the cold while you enjoy the warmth of the house and the booze.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Nitwitty,
Love RHPS! Find serial killers like Ed G. fascinating...but hell, not on the same night!
LCT,
Oh hell. That was me. Sorry. Um, no harm, no foul. Right! Don't tell!
FUCK. Cellie is beepin....again...
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Hold it? Ha! You'll just pull it away and I'll fall flat on my back and kill myself.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:17pm.
Come on! He's incredibly hot in that movie. That one movie. Brian Slade would have made a better Hep [not going to try to spell that] but Leto was purty. I'd get all up under his little tunic.
http://daywithoutagay.org/
LCT! The good side of me says, toss it out and act like you never saw it. The naughty side of me says, respond something like: While I'm flattered by your interest....
Oh, the possibilities are endless!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:26pm.
Trust me, if I was drinking around my family, you could see me drunk, shirtless and belligerent on COPS. It's too cold for shirtless.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
WHO CARES WHAT GODDAMN FUCKING DAY IT IS. I AM STILL GOING TO DRINK MY FUCKING SMIRNOFF. I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU HAVE TURKEY COMING OUT YOUR COOTER AND GRAVY OUT YOUR BEHIND, I WILL STILL HAVE MY BOTTLE OF SMIRNOFF. SO FUCK YOU.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:21pm.
I'd send it back with a note, "I think you mis-sent this to me." Oh, and post it here with the names and addies deleted.
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Has Hell frozen over? Are pigs flying? Is Wonky no longer wonky? Is shitters a good mother? Did PP retire from international modeling?
TV sober??!! Hahahaha.
Happy Turkey day Americans.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNY STOOORRRYYY.
Background: I work at a university.
Story: I just checked my work email and got an inappropriate email from a prof CLEARLY misaddressed to me that looks like it was meant either for a student or a male prof. Of the sexual nature.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:14pm.
Sorry, not used to being sober.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.