Happy Thanksgiving, Sluts!
Before you get too wasted to make out the words on the screen, I want to wish all of you whores a very Happy Thanksgiving(and receiving) Day. Yes, it's an American holiday, but everyone can celebrate. It's easy! Just get mega drunk, yell at your family members for not understanding you and then pass out in front of the TV. After you black out for a few hours, wake up at 3am, eat cold stuffing which has been sitting out on the kitchen counter and then make yourself another cocktail with Martinelli's from the kid's table and gin (the vodka will probably be all gone). See, anyone can do it!
I also want to take a little time out to give thanks to the most 5 most important things in my life this year:
Chicken Cutlets - Without her, I wouldn't get my daily allowance of poultry and cheese.
The Empress of Lucite - Without her, I wouldn't know what true glamour really is.
Rojo Caliente - Without her, I wouldn't know what natural beauty looks like.
The Puppy Cam - Without them, I wouldn't know how to love.
And all of you whores!!! - Awww. I know. Let's all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye. I will drink a few bottles of Asti Spumante in your honor tonight!
Happy Booze and Barf day everyone!!
(Image VIA Flickr)
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Oh TV, you high on turkey? I just lobbed that one to you and you picked it up like a tweaker.
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Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:10pm.
He was a Horse Whisperer until they got an unlisted number at the barn.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:47pm.
And speaking of horsey sauce, I used to date a girl whose dad impregnated horses. Not as a career, more of a hobby.
*
Sure it wasn't more of a calling?
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Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:57pm.
Nitwitty,
Really! They iz playing Rocky Horror then it goes right into the Ed Gein story. Programer on CRACK ALERT!!!
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I can't hate on RHPS, I was one of those geeks that if there wasn't a party on the weekend, would get dressed up and bring all the accoutrement's to the midnight showing. *ducks*
Ed Gein, now I don't know how they got there from here...
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
I was surprised at the lack of drama at Thanksgiving dinner today at my sister-in-laws house. Everybody must be saving it up for Xmas.
I'm hungry as hell. Think I will have the man get me a double cheeseburger with a large order of fries. Fuck it all to damn hell. Those 10 extra pounds will have to wait till next year. Evil Shoe, I'm coming after you.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:52pm.
It's like a Noah's Ark of perversion in my head.
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Well, now it all makes sense. It's definitely as funny as Animal House.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Nitwitty,
Really! They iz playing Rocky Horror then it goes right into the Ed Gein story. Programer on CRACK ALERT!!!
WHO SAID MUFFINS???
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Hold it? Ha! You'll just pull it away and I'll fall flat on my back and kill myself.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:45pm.
was she holding a corningware dish filled with candied yams?
hahahaha. No, that's where they keep the canned cranberry sauce.
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:38pm.
Apparently, eating muffins
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Maybe it was just her way of asking for the breast?
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:50pm.
It's like a Noah's Ark of perversion in my head.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:38pm.
Apparently, eating muffins.
Well, that's why she wasn't hungry for meat.
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
TV, sorry, got the boot as I was asking you to pick me up an extra kitty so I could name it, "Rife."
Now, I see we've moved on to horse insemination!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
No mention of my witty commentary MK!? Happy T-Day anyway...SLUT.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:42pm.
And speaking of horsey sauce, I used to date a girl whose dad impregnated horses. Not as a career, more of a hobby.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:42pm.
Nah, horsey sauce is what little Seabiscuits are made from.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I went to my friends house to see his parents, he's in Iraq, and his sister came out of the closet as the turkey was being sliced.
*
was she holding a corningware dish filled with candied yams?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:42pm.
LCT, horsey sauce is just mayo mixed with horseradish sauce, do you have those around? It goes great on any kinda' meat..I'm feeling bad for you :(
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Heck yes we have that. That with beef dip es el goodo.
LCT, horsey sauce is just mayo mixed with horseradish sauce, do you have those around? It goes great on any kinda' meat..I'm feeling bad for you :(
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:33pm.
You're right, but I still want 2 kittens I can name Beef and Bloccori.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Here's a story for you guys. My sister went to Mexico and she went to KFC and there was fur attached to her 'drumstick'.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:38pm.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:30pm.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:28pm.
his sister came out of the closet as the turkey was being sliced.
OMG...... What was she doing in the closet?
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Masturbating.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:30pm.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:28pm.
his sister came out of the closet as the turkey was being sliced.
OMG...... What was she doing in the closet?
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Apparently, eating muffins. :p
WHO SAID ARBY'S SAUCE ON A SANDWICH?
Mmmmm. I think I might make love to food in my dreams tonight. I'm jelly of all you Thanksgiving-havers.
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:30pm.
NIT!
Phew! I thought the tryptophan had taken the whole room!
*does the Time Warp AGAIN*
Um....is the Ed Gein movie really appropriate for T-Day? Crazy bastards!!
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Clarisse, Christmas Vacation. That is a *MUST* for every Thanksgiving evening.
Cousin Eddy: Naw, he's just yackin' on a bone.
Cousin Eddy: Just emptying the shitter.
Get's you in the perfect holiday spirits. If your holidays involve lots of drinking and obnoxious relatives.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:24pm.
That picture should be captioned "Chinese Takeout Thanksgiving"
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LMAO, TV. I happen to know you're the biggest softy in the universe when it comes to pets.
How bout: peking pussy?
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
*thought
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:28pm.
his sister came out of the closet as the turkey was being sliced.
OMG...... What was she doing in the closet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
NIT!
Phew! I thought the tryptophan had taken the whole room!
*does the Time Warp AGAIN*
Um....is the Ed Gein movie really appropriate for T-Day? Crazy bastards!!
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Hold it? Ha! You'll just pull it away and I'll fall flat on my back and kill myself.
how's everyone thanxgiving? mine is over...didn't have much out of it...didn't enjoy the foods and what not. though it would be great...it turned out to be a day like every other.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04pm.
I don't know how you deal with family drama. Mine are always extremely low-key. My uncle did ask me a question I didn't like, but I just shot back, "don't be stupid" and gave him a dirty look.
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I went to my friends house to see his parents, he's in Iraq, and his sister came out of the closet as the turkey was being sliced. So uncomfortable, I tell ya.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:02pm.
I could really go for a mashed potato and turkey sandwich
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Oh hell yes. I'd alter it a bit by throwing on some crushed up goldfish crackers and putting some Arby's Horsey sauce on it.
*looks for packets she stole from Arby's*
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Dick happens! - MK
That picture should be captioned "Chinese Takeout Thanksgiving"
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:15pm.
You've somehow wandered onto the wrong site. This is a gossipy, snarky site. You want ParisReview.com. That way ----->
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:15pm.
*tap*
*tap*
*tap*
Is this thing on?
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CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
LCT, I'd love to send ya one, but don't think it'd make it past the border.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
*tap*
*tap*
*tap*
Is this thing on?
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Hold it? Ha! You'll just pull it away and I'll fall flat on my back and kill myself.
Happy gobble gobble ;)
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:59pm.
Mr. Blonde said we should raise our sights from the gutter, so that's what I'm trying to do.
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I'm sorry, what did you say? I was just reading from my first edition, Gertrude Stein.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
I don't know how you deal with family drama. Mine are always extremely low-key. My uncle did ask me a question I didn't like, but I just shot back, "don't be stupid" and gave him a dirty look.
And a Happy Turkey Day to you Michael K.
I love you too. You're the hottest slut EVER.
And seriously that looks like my cat. Give it back. That's not funny.
"fuckity fuck fuck!"
"Fuckin a fucker. I should have used the word fuck more..."
"TENNIS CANS AND MOTHER FUCKEN GREEN BEANS!"
Jesus F. Christ Topanga. See, that's why this year, I opted to just make the bird, in my house. With my husband and kids and not let anyone's ass come over except for a selected few like my bro.
My mother usually was here TORTURING ME. She hates me now, and my life is actually pretty good. I realized this Thanksgiving, I can make rice and beans without burning them because she isn't hovering over me going "is it burning? it's burning isn't it?".
I had wine last night. tonight I am just eating leftover cheesecake.
"fuckity fuck fuck!"
"Fuckin a fucker. I should have used the word fuck more..."
"TENNIS CANS AND MOTHER FUCKEN GREEN BEANS!"
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:57pm.
OK, I sent you the link. Art-ay!
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
I could really go for a mashed potato and turkey sandwich.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:57pm.
Mr. Blonde said we should raise our sights from the gutter, so that's what I'm trying to do.
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:54pm.
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Okay, but only if it's really artistic, cuz you know how snobby I am about my art.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
happy turkey genocide day, mikey k! you're my favorite slut in the entire world.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:51pm.
Already ordered several in wallet size and one poster for the den.
I don't have Photobucket anymore so I'm gonna email you an, umm, arty pic, k?
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Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"
Well, this Thanksgiving was interesing...my grndfather yelled at his daghter at the dinner table for buying her son a pitbull for his birthday (apparently they are "illegal in Florida and will maul her son to death!") My cousin busted into tears and cursed at my dad for calling her "ghetto" and then proceeded to storm out of the house while her own daughter burst into tears because "mommy was crying" My grandmother kept botheing my step-father because he wouldn't eat her mashed potatos. Meanwhile, I had to find a way to remove myself from all the awkwardness but I decided just to keep knocking back my Seagrams and quietly laugh at all the foolishness. So all in all, I'd say Thanksgiving was a blast this year. Now, I must go hit the sack because I have to work the mall from 5am-10pm at night tomorrow....=/
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 9:51pm.
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Aww, thanks. Right back atcha'..well, since you're doing a drive by, a designated driver.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.