Happy Thanksgiving, Sluts!
Before you get too wasted to make out the words on the screen, I want to wish all of you whores a very Happy Thanksgiving(and receiving) Day. Yes, it's an American holiday, but everyone can celebrate. It's easy! Just get mega drunk, yell at your family members for not understanding you and then pass out in front of the TV. After you black out for a few hours, wake up at 3am, eat cold stuffing which has been sitting out on the kitchen counter and then make yourself another cocktail with Martinelli's from the kid's table and gin (the vodka will probably be all gone). See, anyone can do it!
I also want to take a little time out to give thanks to the most 5 most important things in my life this year:
Chicken Cutlets - Without her, I wouldn't get my daily allowance of poultry and cheese.
The Empress of Lucite - Without her, I wouldn't know what true glamour really is.
Rojo Caliente - Without her, I wouldn't know what natural beauty looks like.
The Puppy Cam - Without them, I wouldn't know how to love.
And all of you whores!!! - Awww. I know. Let's all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye. I will drink a few bottles of Asti Spumante in your honor tonight!
Happy Booze and Barf day everyone!!
(Image VIA Flickr)
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I am thankful for Christian Bale and Gerard Butler!
ROUND ON THE HOUSE!
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Hold it? Ha! You'll just pull it away and I'll fall flat on my back and kill myself.
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:52pm.
♥SmOOOtcheS♥
Thank you so much.That actually made me tear up!
Awwwwww.*group hug* heine pinches are stritctly enforced and/or greatly appreciated
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Do you draw the line at wedgies or can I slip one or two of those in as well? Verah proud o' you, mama..*atomic wedgie and a bra strap snap* Know you'll do it!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
@ Socky, TITS, Triscuit, Nitwitty, Sandbitch, angel_i, Diego, and all you other funny, funny Dlisted thread heads--
I am thankful for each one of you.
Laughter is cheaper than therapy, and you ho's are saving me a lot of $$ I don't have.
Gak! Sugar overdose! Back to the snark.
*stage whisper*
But I do luvs you.
xo
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That is a very distasteful quality, I don't care for it in a person.--Lindalou, 11/25/2008
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:27pm
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Evil Shoe, fuck you whore. When you coming back to Clearwater? I know you are a Clearwater ho. I just road down Drew yesterday towards Morton Plant and what a sight.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
Submitted by roxie on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:50pm.
Cheers to T-day and booze in moderation. At least it isn't as commercialized as Xmas. I'm already sick of the Xmas commercials.
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That reminds me, went into walmart on a Sunday afternoon right after Halloween and they had Xmas muzak blaring..the place was packed full of rude, loud mouthed, cart pushers most with screaming kids. I thought I'd died and gone to Hell. Seriously what I picture it to be.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Thanks Tits, I will check that out, even though I feel I've exauseted all of my avenues. But thanks a whole lot for caring and taking the time to respond. We will consider it a dead issue at this point. Take care.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:35pm.
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♥SmOOOtcheS♥
Thank you so much.That actually made me tear up!
Awwwwww.*group hug* heine pinches are stritctly enforced and/or greatly appreciated
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Cheers to T-day and booze in moderation. At least it isn't as commercialized as Xmas. I'm already sick of the Xmas commercials.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:44pm.
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Obviously, you've never seen a pissed off sock monkey before. *shudders*
In celeb gossip news: The Sun has a post about Sienna and Balthashart Getty being back together. You can't tell me she's ran out of other married men to chase so soon?!
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:21pm.
@Socky, well, I hope you're happy now. I'm wearing scratchy undies tonight just because I wanted to save the last good dryer sheet for you.
*
yeah, like that's the ONLY reason.
me thinks nitty likes a little dirt in her sandwich.
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Oh no you din't!!
Lucky that sucks. I've seen a few hoarders in my time. It truly is a mental condition.
Here are a few ideas off the top of my head:
Send a letter to his doctor.
Stage an intervention.
Get him out of his house and bring in an industrial cleaning crew. Does he leave home to work? Do it.
If he doesn't go to a dr you can report him to the drivers licensing board for a medial condition - they'll ask that he get a dr cert that he's okay. It would be dishonest, but it could get him in front of a dr. AND you can do it anonymously.
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Oh no you din't!!
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:30pm.
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You made the right choice...it was to help yourself. You'll make it. We know you will. Come here to Dlisted. We keep each other company in good times or bad. Hold on. We are here for you. Laughter always gets me through the rough & bumpy parts of living in this world.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Aw, Sockey. You know you hold a special place of honor in my gentle wash cycle.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
very boring dlisted day for the Canadians but - aw hell - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
hey MK,
thanx for making our lives so much slutier!!!.... ur really the HBIC we truly love!
and happpy thanksgiving too to all dlisted bitches!
One PROuD dlisted bitch here.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:27pm.
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If she is this will be the longest, most nauseating nine months of our lives.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:25pm.
*Socky, oh come now. Like you know if i don't bring the goods, you haunty my dreams.
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LOL! You know me so well. *blushing* *batting eyelashes* But you love me, right?
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:23pm.
OMG I saw a snippet of an article that said Mariah Carey might be PREGO!
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God knows, she always looks like she has 1st trimester bloat....
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I can't play bridge. I don't play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn't seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window~A. Munro
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:25pm.
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Thanks sweetie~pie.Me loves you,too.I stayed home with out Baby Dad or kids.They all went to families houses for dinner.I could NOT even try it.I stayed home and cleaned.And I am still CLEAN!
So I never even had Thanksgiving dinner,but it is well worth it because It would have been hell with alcohol around me!Fuck that,being sober is more important than turkey.LoL
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:25pm.
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Triscuit, I'm very familiar with Antabuse, I've had a lot of friends on it, (in the military if you commit an infraction while you are drinking it's pretty much automatic), and it seemed to help a lot with not too many side effects. Trust me when I tell you, I've seen what it does if you do slip up and I only have one word for the results: Ipecac! Yeowza..we finally took the dude to the ER.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:25pm.
Evil Shoe, quit speaking that blashpemy! She'd put JLo to shame with the sheer gawdiness of that fuckery.
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I know, I know, that is the first thing I thought of! lol They said there is a video of her on Ellen yesterday. Ellen asked her if she was prego, she said no, Ellen said then have a glass of champagne, bitch said NO. Claiming no champagne until after 3pm.
GAWD she is, isn't she?
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by EvilShoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:23pm.
OMG I saw a snippet of an article that said Mariah Carey might be PREGO!
Lord help us!
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She's finally giving birth to that unicorn, huh? That will be some baby bump she'll be sportin'!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
We love you too, MK! *smooch*
Tell your sister with the hairy nipples we said hi!
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Dick happens! - MK
Evil Shoe, quit speaking that blashpemy! She'd put JLo to shame with the sheer gawdiness of that fuckery.
*Socky, oh come now. Like you know if i don't bring the goods, you haunty my dreams.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:19pm.
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Thanks Nitty!♥♥
My Dr. put me on some medication called antabuse 250mg.It's purpose is to block the digestion/process of alcohol.If I drink one drop,I could get violently ill,seizures,nausea,vomit all that fun stuff.So being the biggest pussay alive (when it comes to being sick or in pain)I ain't EVEN trying to fuck around,so that helps ALOT!!!!!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:15pm.
Gosh...I am SOOOO thankful I have another day sober!
*8 days,now*
YaY Me!!
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*handing you a tall cool glass of apple juice* *putting little sock monkey arms around your neck* Me loves you, Triscuit. You're doing great and I'm wishing you the best! *big hug & smooch*
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
OMG I saw a snippet of an article that said Mariah Carey might be PREGO!
Lord help us!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:21pm.
@Socky, well, I hope you're happy now. I'm wearing scratchy undies tonight just because I wanted to save the last good dryer sheet for you.
*slips sheet into Socky's hamper*
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Aaaahhh...Me loves you NitWitty!! This much! *spreading little sock monkey arms wide as can be* I'm happy to see you and thanks for the dryer sheet! *deep sniff* mmmmmm....Niiiice!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
@Socky, well, I hope you're happy now. I'm wearing scratchy undies tonight just because I wanted to save the last good dryer sheet for you.
*slips sheet into Socky's hamper*
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 8:15pm.
Gosh...I am SOOOO thankful I have another day sober!
*8 days,now*
YaY Me!!
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We're all rooting for you, Triscuit! And it just gives you a reason to act as bitchy as you want and snark to your heart's content. Keeping good thoughts headed your way.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Gosh...I am SOOOO thankful I have another day sober!
*8 days,now*
YaY Me!!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 7:37pm.
Hey Socky! I'm thankful for sock-monkeys. I'm gonna go make one later, then you guys can date;p
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I'm thankful for wonderful Dlisted hwores like you! If you is making a sock monkey and I already have a BF, but...well..um...I always wanted a baby sister. *wink*
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Mejinn on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 7:08pm.
3. World of Warcraft (yeah I'm one of THOSE people and I roll Horde
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What do you mean by horde? Are you refering to someone who keeps a lot of useless belongings? I'll tell you a heartbreaking story. My brother is 44, single and living on his own. He has a very sweet little house on a big lot in a very desirable area. Me or my husband, or my parents, haven't been in that house for over 10 years. We have very little doubt the house is a complete wreck and probably crawling with roaches. I know his car is because I've seen it. Which is really wierd because the rest of us keep immaculate homes. We know he doesn't have hot water. And he completely reeks of mold and mildew when he sees us. I've contacted Social Services behind his back and they say there is nothing they can do unless it involves a child or elderly person. I've tried talking with him directly, and he shells up like a clam. I'm going to have to go over there with an axe and break down his front door unless one of you whores have a better solution. Sorry for the long post.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
Happy thanksgiving MK and everyone at dlisted! Well, I haven't gotten around to the getting drunk part yet, but I've already been through the yelling at my family part. God I hate family get-togethers! Ok I'm off to find the vodka.
Happy Thanksgiving and Big Fat Ass Day to MK and all of the shameless sluts out there!
OF COURSE, CHARLES, YOU UNDERSTAND I MEANT MY RESPONSE IN A WARM WAY - AS IN: ME TOO!
Hey Socky! I'm thankful for sock-monkeys. I'm gonna go make one later, then you guys can date;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
Send me pictures, bitches!
This vid ain't gwan make itself!
thirteenangels@live.com
*back flip from top of hamper* *perfect landing*
Happy Thanksgiving! Sluts & Bitches!
*little sock monkey hugs & smooches*
*skipping away*
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 6:42pm.
THANKFUL FOR MY TOILET AND SHOWER. THANKFUL FOR MY TOILET PAPER. THANKFUL FOR MY ASSHOLE OF A PET MOUSE. ...THANKFUL FOR SMIRNOFF. THANKFUL FOR A HELL OF A FUCKING LOT.
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Here's to you Charles Manson. I'm thankful for my GD toilet and shower too. And the toilet paper too. Glad you have a pet, even though it's an asshole. ;)
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dear mk,
you have no idea how thankful i am for you and for dlisted.
i usually sit in my lecture, bored out of my mind, and decide to come on here to just "check on things" and end up trying to resist laughing my ass off because of something you've written or because of the caption this contest photos.
all in all, thank you for making my life so much lulzier.
love,
yves.
Happy Happy Day, MK! Thank you for making me laugh every GD day. And happiness to all you dlist hos! I'll have a pull off that Asti Spumante bottle. Cheers to you!
♥
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Things I am thankful for:
1. Godiva dark martinis
2. An endless supply of vicodin and a great physical therapist
3. World of Warcraft (yeah I'm one of THOSE people and I roll Horde)
4. MK and all of you luscious Dlisted whores!!!
Happy Spanksgiving :)
I love it when you call me a whore MK, because it's true!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Just wanna say Happy Thanksgiving everyone:)
Live NYC shows on RealityBedroom
www.realitybedroom.com
Aw, Happy Thanksgiving, MK and everyone here! That "uncomfortable/side-eye-giving hug" reminded me of the hug in Stepbrothers which Will Ferrell and his real-brother give each other at the end of the movie - utterly hilarious, best hug EVer!
I am thankful for this lovely home I finally have to live in, and for my boyfriend. *thinks* Oh - And for DListed, and CuteOverload.com.
I know I don't comment much anymore [[school and work gets in the way]] but I still come here for my daily dose and I want to wish all you hot sluts a Happy Turkey Day!!!
::"You backstabbing two-timing scallywag! And as God as my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again!" - Blanche Deveraux::
Hey hoes, Happy Stuff Yourself With Tons Of Carbs & Drink 'Til You Pass Out day! :)
Love you lots, MK!
And since everyone else is doing it, I suppose that... I am thankful for my family, my friends, the roof over my head, my job, and the new man in my life who makes me look forward to every single day *that* much more.
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"It's not true I had nothing on ~ I had the radio on."
Charles Manson,
That is very cool. It is important to be thankful for the good people and stuff in your life, even when it's pretty fucked sometimes. Cheers, bro!
"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"
I am thankful that Michael comes on here and makes me laugh every single damn day.
Don't think that is taken for granted, cause it's not.
I HEAR YOU, MUTHAFUCKA!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Send me pictures, bitches!
This vid ain't gwan make itself!
thirteenangels@live.com
I'M VERY FUCKING GODDAMN THANKFUL ALSO. THANKFUL TO THOSE PEOPLE AT BLUE CROSS/BLUE SHIELD. THANKFUL TO MY GODDAMN USELESS SPOUSE FOR SUPPORTING MY SORRY ASS. THANKFUL FOR MY TOILET AND SHOWER. THANKFUL FOR MY TOILET PAPER. THANKFUL FOR MY ASSHOLE OF A PET MOUSE. THANKFUL FOR THE DISGUSTING DINNER FUCKING TODAY. THANKFUL I'M NOT ON THOSE GODDAMN SORRY ASS ASSHOLE DRUGS. THANKFUL FOR SMIRNOFF. THANKFUL FOR A HELL OF A FUCKING LOT.