Happy Thanksgiving, Sluts!
Before you get too wasted to make out the words on the screen, I want to wish all of you whores a very Happy Thanksgiving(and receiving) Day. Yes, it's an American holiday, but everyone can celebrate. It's easy! Just get mega drunk, yell at your family members for not understanding you and then pass out in front of the TV. After you black out for a few hours, wake up at 3am, eat cold stuffing which has been sitting out on the kitchen counter and then make yourself another cocktail with Martinelli's from the kid's table and gin (the vodka will probably be all gone). See, anyone can do it!
I also want to take a little time out to give thanks to the most 5 most important things in my life this year:
Chicken Cutlets - Without her, I wouldn't get my daily allowance of poultry and cheese.
The Empress of Lucite - Without her, I wouldn't know what true glamour really is.
Rojo Caliente - Without her, I wouldn't know what natural beauty looks like.
The Puppy Cam - Without them, I wouldn't know how to love.
And all of you whores!!! - Awww. I know. Let's all uncomfortably hug while giving each other the side-eye. I will drink a few bottles of Asti Spumante in your honor tonight!
Happy Booze and Barf day everyone!!
(Image VIA Flickr)
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Submitted by JaneDoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:26am.
My nephew got back from Iraq last Thanksgiving and now they're down in AL (Army flight school).
Aside from not having them here and missing them sooo much, it should be a great day.
OK, I'm off to get ready. Have a wonderful turkey day & hope to catch you later.
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She's flat and that's that!
Comma Sluts.nice. :)
THANK YOU MK and DListed sweethearts!
and Mom and Dad and my 5 sisters and 3 childrean and mrsoul!!!!!!!!!!
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http://www.elite.net/~runner/jennifers/thankyou.htm
MK, How sweet! Thanks, Laddie, for the thought. Slainte, ye canty, wee coof.
Uvula!
Many congratulations!! He is beautiful, just like his brothers. Well done!!
All my sluts.....have yourselves a fabulous day!!
MK.....I am blowing you many kisses from here in rainy Phoenix.
I am thankful for my husband & children and my family & friends!
I'm thankful for the funny fruit named Michael K. who has forced me into a world of Depends undergarments with his campy & hysterical comments!!
This fag hag sends lots of love & thanks to MK and all you funny fuckers who give laughs to us all!
May the turkey be moist, the skin crispy, the potatoes fluffy, the gravy smooth & the cranberry sauce sweet & tart!!
*SQUEE* I love you MK!
Without you, I would cease to exist!
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"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Happy Thanksgiving to you to MK. You make me LMAO everyday. LIfe would be such a bore without you in it. And happy turkey day to all you dlisted sluts too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
And when Mom asks every year, "How's the turkey?"
always reply, "best ever".
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I'm just here for the beer.
Happy Thanksgiving Dlisted Skeezers!! MK,Thank you for totally fucking up my "im busy" look at work because i cant contain thee giggles. You make my work days somewhat bearable.
Submitted by wolfyMan on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:11am.
Turkey for Turks
You'll love my blog:
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cut it out, bitch. Being a spammer must be a terrible sad lonely thing.
I'm grateful cause i get to tell you to fuck off!
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 11:13am.
That's wonderful, so glad he came home safely. Enjoy your reunion, farts and all.
Please give him my thanks for serving the country.
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aw thank you Flatsy!
I will definitely tell him about it!
how is your day?
it has been 15 months since we have a man in our house, it's usually just me and our daughter. it's great to see his dirty clothes in the laundry or his socks on the couch (ok maybe I will regret that I ever said this in a few days). he gave me a tickle in my stomach when he said "honey I am done eating now you wash the dishes" :D it's been a while since I heard him say something like that :)
They just"Rick rolled" the Thanksgiving Day parade!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaah
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
♥"Late night sex, so wet and so tight"♥ T.I
I hate having all Mormon family members because there's no drunk fights to make things exciting.
I'm thankful that I'm getting out of this hellhole (Las Vegas) and moving to Seattle this weekend.
happy thanksgiving dlisted loves!!!
michael i am thankful for you and this site because without it...oh i dont even want to imagine that!!! my life was incomplete before
Hug...side-eye....bitch!
ahahahahahaha....mmmmmm....gurrrrrl...Cain't beleed she wore THAT thing to a turkey dinnah!!!!
love u Michael K!
MK....I adore you. You are the funniest man ever!!!!
Well, I give thanks to DListed for getting me through many a slow day at work. I'm sick today so I raise a Dayquil-tini or 5 in your honor Michael K.
And the rest of you have a safe and happy Turkey Day.
JaneDoe on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:14am.
I am thankful for my husband, he just got back from Iraq!!
That's wonderful, so glad he came home safely. Enjoy your reunion, farts and all.
Please give him my thanks for serving the country.
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She's flat and that's that!
Happy Thanksgiving to my favourite blogger! I'm thankful for your blog, your sense of humour and everything about you. Enjoy your turkey day!
MK - I'm thankful that I discovered this site. You are one of the funniest people I've never met. Have a Happy Spanksgiving!
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President Obama - Get used to it! :)
Turkey for Turks
You'll love my blog:
http://MuchBetterThanWorking.blogspot.com
Hey Peach
You are the funniest fucker I have read. Everyday, I look foward to your comments on these idiots they call celebrities! Hope you do have a nice holiday, and dont EVER stop!
Happy eating to all. Hope you all get to spend it with those you most care for.
Submitted by The C word on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:59am.
In case anyone gets bored today, here are some ideas of what you can do with the turkey carcass:
hahahahaha. Oh, man. Not that bored.
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“It’s kind of cool to just leave the narrative what it is. People are stoked or pissed or whatever. And you’re like, you know what, I don’t think anyone really has the real story.”
Submitted by The C word on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:59am.
In case anyone gets bored today, here are some ideas of what you can do with the turkey carcass:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122765597035358073.html?mod=rss_Arts_and...
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That BLEW MY MIND! Especially the bone chair.
In case anyone gets bored today, here are some ideas of what you can do with the turkey carcass:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122765597035358073.html?mod=rss_Arts_and...
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Who are the people in your neighbourhood?
Awwww Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
Give that kitteh a drumstick!
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
To all you folks on the other side of the border, have a happy holiday. To MK . . . thanks for being so brilliant and so sweet (don't even try to deny that last part). May the larger piece of the wishbone be yours at the end of day. Hugs.
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" . . . this is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:39am.
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Ditto, lady. Ditto.
Well, except for the MIL bit. Mine is safely tucked 3 states away.
Much love to you, funny sex hooker.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Happy Thanksgiving to all you guys in the US!
I am very grateful for finding what is hands-down, without-a-doubt, the VERY best site on the entire fuckin' internet with the VERY best & funniest posters BAR FUCKING NONE!!! (and I really mean that, truly)
Aw, MK *sniff* without you my day would be a black yawning void of emptiness. Without you, I'd get a whole lot more work done and my kids wouldn't have to lick old moldy dishes for dinner...
Without all of you hoarz to brighten my day, I'd get all my laundry done and sheets changed. My floors would be clean and my shower and tub sparkling. But I wouldn't have as many laughs! You perverted slutbags are the BEST, and I mean that most sincerely!
Happy T-Giving to those hobags in the USA and Happy Just Thursday everywhere else!
I love you guys! *sobs*
Whether you're spending today with your family (or loved ones), I hope it's a good one! I'm planning to eat, drink, smoke, and make fun of my mother in law behind her back with MIL BINGO! Yee-hah!
*plants a sloppy wet one on ya'll*
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Sweet barbecued Jesus with a side of cole slaw, I'm this close to just rolling down the subway stairs and out onto the third rail. - Jan_In_The_Pan
Happy Thanksgiving, all! I hope you have a wonderful day!
And NitWitty, your post about dentures has me grinning!
Submitted by Farrah on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:28am.
if next year you add a glass eye to that list, consider me invited.
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Done! Hope you're comfortable around my Uncle Wilmer. He uses a walker and he'll call out for you to give him a hand, only when you get to him he'll say, "I just need you to pull my finger." Then laugh like he's just told the most original joke in the universe. Gotta' love him.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Happy Thanksgiving to all American members of this list, including our beloved MK!
Submitted by NitWitty on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:25am.
I'm thankful that this year, since I'm not with my very large extended family, there will be no rooting through the garbage at the end of the evening searching for a lost, partial, dentures or retainers
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if next year you add a glass eye to that list, consider me invited.
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Submitted by KatieScarlett
OMG WATCH TROPIC THUNDER HIGH...... :)
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If you insist.
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Help me!
HAPPY TURKEY DAY HO! AND TO EVERYONE ELSE!!!
OMG WATCH TROPIC THUNDER HIGH...... :)
HAVE A GREAT DAY
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:11am.
Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04am.
it will be fine.
don't try that with meat or eggs, however.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies
I'm thankful that this year, since I'm not with my very large extended family, there will be no rooting through the garbage at the end of the evening searching for a lost, partial, dentures or retainers.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
"And I was like, Grandma, you SUCK!"
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Help me!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I'm thankful for family & friends, good health & happiness and love & laughter.
I'm thankful that I found dlisted & MK. You crazy whores get me through every workday. Thanks for all the laughs.
Lastly, I will give thanks tonight if nobody gets sick from my cranberry sauce.
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She's flat and that's that!
Happy Thanksgiving, Americans.
You Fail, unless I say different.
Happy Thanksgiving to zee American Dlisters. Happy to share my tofu turkey recipe *ducking and weaving as I say this*
I don't do bird.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Tofu-Turkey-II/Detail.aspx
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I can't play bridge. I don't play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn't seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window~A. Munro
Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04am.
Help! I made cranberry sauce last night and left it out to cool before refrigerating.
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is it too water-y?
if so, i would suggest adding a tiny bit of gellatin powder (it's just like making jell-o)
but i guess going out to buy anything is out of the question....steal a can from next door!
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And i'm on my knees looking for the answer..
are we human, or are we dancers?
Happy Thanksgiving to all the Dlisted sluts. Auntie is going to start her day with a big cup of coffee laced with a LARGE shot of Bailey's Carmel. That is the only way to fly before the in-laws show up.
"Come, Watson! There's fuckery afoot!."
Happy Thanksgiving all! In honour I shall watch a 'Roseanne' Thanksgiving episode. Television- ah, now I feel American.
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Help me!
so sweet MK, and happy thksgiving to everybody too!!
xoxo
If that's all that's in it, I'm sure it's fine.
A Thanksgiving Prayer, but William S. Burroughs
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4212204341571541144
Submitted by Flatsy on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:04am.
Help! I made cranberry sauce last night and left it out to cool before refrigerating. I fell asleep & forgot about it, so it was out for like 8 hours.
Should I serve it or not? My kitchen is really cold.
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Flatsy, it should be fine. I bake my fruit pies and leave them out overnight. Just to be safe though, I'd serve it to the inlaws first.
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Vampire Bill is mine! But don't tell Viggo I said that.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 11/27/2008 - 10:13am.
Oh, he was a rat bastard for sure. My favorite story about him is when he played William Tell with his wife in Mexico.
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Too bad (for her) the crusty bastard wasn't as good of a shot as Tell.
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Who are the people in your neighbourhood?